The coastline of Bay of Bengal from Bheemli to Beach Road is one of the most beautiful things about Visakhapatnam.

The curvy roads nestled between the hills and the ocean is the best place to have a romantic ride and my obvious choice for a first date.

Anju's enthusiasm made me grin throughout the drive. Even the catcalls and disparaging shouts from a gang of boys outside BITM couldn't dampen my excitement.

It seems nothing can pull me down from this high.

There may have been a considerable gap but Anju's driving skills are still top notch. More than anything, the smile didn't leave her face since we began at home and stopped at Thotlakonda, an hour later.

We went back and forth along beach road before deciding that the ancient Buddhist Monastery is a quiet place to relax.

Located a few hundred feet above sea level, it's almost 2000 years old and overlooks the ocean.

Except for a couple of tourists here and there, the site is almost empty.

We settled on a flat rock in a remote spot that offers a mesmerizing view of Bay of Bengal; with our lays and coke.

"It's beautiful. Isn't it?" I remarked, wrapping an arm around Anju.

"I feel like a hypocrite" she replied with a frown.

"What?"

"I always made fun of couples" she said, looking uneasy "Especially when they sat isolated in public places"

I chuckled "You mean, like we are doing now?"

She nodded with a revolting look "Yeah"

"Karma"

"Shut up!"

"Do you like the place or not?" I asked with a laugh.

"I do" she said grimly.

"I love how excited you are!" I said sarcastically.

She smiled awkwardly "Sorry. I do love it. It's beautiful"

I sighed, squeezing her shoulder "You must have seen better places. In States, I mean"

"I didn't travel much. I worked as much as I can"

"How much money do you still need?"

"I don't"

"You cleared the loan already?" I asked in surprise. That's a lot of money and adding interest rates, it should have been huge.

"My parents loaned me and I paid them back"

"I did not know that" I said quietly.

"I'm thankful they did because if it's a bank loan, I'd be in debt for at least another year and my bank balance would have been in minus. Not that there's any left now"

"How much do you have?"

"$127.25"

"You barely have any"

"I spent a lot before coming here"

I know she'd deny but I couldn't help myself from asking "Do you want me to give you some?"

"No"

"I have money; been saving up since my 1st salary"

"No"

"You can pay me back when you have. Don't be stubborn, Anju."

"Don't" she said irately "I don't want your money"

I shut my mouth realizing there's no convincing her when she's made up her mind.

"Why do you have to offer me money?" she complained "Now I feel I'm broke and useless. You should have come with me to the states. We both would have been broke and in debt"

Her logic made no sense whatsoever but succeeded in making me laugh "So your solution for being broke is wishing I am too?"

She glared at me "What's wrong with that? At least we would have been in it together"

"Yeah. We would have been but don't you think it'd have been better if you stayed here?"

"You wanted to go" she accused.

"And then I didn't want to go"

"Yes. Because your girlfriend didn't want you to"

I frowned "What are you talking?"

She rolled her eyes "Let's not pretend you didn't back off because Nisha didn't want you to go"

"I didn't"

She snorted.

That did it.

"Why the hell is it so hard for you to believe me?" I couldn't hide the anger off my voice. It's one thing to accuse me; another to believe her own lies without giving me the chance to explain myself.

"It's not true then?" she said sarcastically, looking angry.

"Why are you asking me now? When you already made up your mind" I replied bitterly.

She clenched her teeth in irritation "I saw ok? I saw her look at you when you spoke of US plans"

I stood up, unable to control my anger "And you made up your mind that she enchanted me with her charms and like a fool, I followed her? Without thinking for myself? Or you?"

Her silence and the look on her face made me realize she did. And that pissed me off.

"Wow" I said evenly with a hopeless smile "You never believed a word of what I said. Did you?"

"That's not true"

"Really? Because I clearly remember telling you it's me. Not her. Did I not?"

She nodded "You did"

"Is it too hard to understand then?"

She shook her head with a guilty look on her face "I am sorry"

"Don't you dare apologize!" I scowled, ignoring her pleading look "You're not getting off easy this time"

"What do you want me to do?" she said glumly.

"When in doubt, ask me. Don't make your own assumptions. Listen to me. More than that, believe me" I stressed every word with a glare.

She gave a distressed look "Am I too late to ask now?"

You are, I wanted to say but I also want her to know she was wrong. She didn't ask me in the past when I said it was my decision. She is, now.

"When Bhargav's mother died, my mind started wavering about the decision to leave" I spoke feigning calmness when I'm raging inside. How could she not trust my words!

"Why?"

"You know she was ill for a long time" To her nod of remembrance, I added "When she died, they had to keep her body for two days; for Bhargav's brother to return from abroad"

"He lived in Canada, I think" she commented dully.

I nodded "Bhargav helped her during chemo when his father couldn't; while his brother was off chasing money at a faraway continent"

"He couldn't be at her side during her last days. What's the point of earning or being in a better position when you can't even be at your parents or grandparents' side during their toughest times?"

"I was scared something would happen to my family and I couldn't be there for them" I continued irately "I didn't want that. I couldn't possibly be that selfish"

"Bhargav's grandmother died during 4-1. Why didn't you ever tell me this?"

"Because I couldn't decide. It was not just my decision; your future was also linked. More than anything, I was scared you won't like it considering we spent a lot of money"

"Nisha made you decide?" she asked in a low voice, almost looking scared of my reaction.

"No. She helped me realize"

Anju frowned "What?"

"What I want; what my heart already decided but couldn't accept."

Nisha's words still echoed in my mind clearly.

You don't have to go through something just because you thought it was right at some point in your life. People change. Decisions change too. You only have to realize if it's worth changing.

Right away, I knew what I had to do.

My decision was entirely mine. Even if Nisha did not ask my future plans or how serious I am about studying abroad, I would have still done the same.

It would have taken more time, yes but her words made it easy; made me feel less guilty about spending my parents' hard earned money over nothing.

"I didn't know that" she mumbled weakly.

"Of course you didn't" I said harshly.

"I am sorry" she repeated.

Her apology did nothing to calm my insides even when I know she wouldn't say sorry unless she really feels guilty. Because no matter how I try to convince myself, I cannot get past the thought that she could think so little of me.

At this point, I won't be surprised if she thought Nisha got me wrapped around her little finger.

If Anju could think like this, even after confessing that she's above everybody else in my life, it means she had so little faith in my words. In me.

And that angered me more. Hurt me beyond measure.

She's known me for the longest time and yet, she didn't know me at all.

"I don't want your apology" I said, turning away "You go back home. I will come see you later"

I need some time away from her; time to cool off my thoughts. Before I said or did something I'd regret.

"How will you come?" she said to my retreating back. The sadness in her voice tugged at my heart but I cannot forget what she said; what she believed.

I need to be alone.

"I will take an auto" I said, not bothering to look at her. I will not be able to do it if I looked at her.

"Don't leave me. Again" she said the last part in almost a whisper making me abruptly pause in my steps.

My heart stopped for a second hearing the fear in her voice. Anju is a lot of things; scared is not one of them.

Her fierce attitude towards life is her biggest strength. Yet right this moment, the fear in her voice is unmistakable.

I closed my eyes in pain. What the hell am I doing?

I am aware of her strengths and weaknesses. I even thought I know her insecurities and the reasons behind them. Yet, I am only adding more to what she's most worried of.

Losing me.

I have no idea how we are going to get past our trust issues. I only know we have to.

We have been through so much in the past 3 years and I'd be damned to accept failure now. Running away from a fight is not an option.

Still, I didn't turn around; not until I heard footsteps behind me. She bumped into my chest when I did; her hands automatically going around my waist.

"You can't leave me. I won't let you" she mumbled weakly against my shoulder.

"I am not leaving you" I replied softly, wrapping my arms around her.

"But you were; a moment ago"

I sighed "I told you I'd always come back to you"

She pulled back to glance at me "I am sorry. I really am"

"I know" I said, surprised to see tears in her eyes.

"Don't cry" I continued, wiping the lone tear off her cheeks "I hate myself when you do that"

"It's not your fault" she said blandly "I turned into a sissy"

She looked appalled at her own choice of words and I couldn't stop the chuckle from escaping my lips.

"No, you did not"

She took both of my hands into hers "I need to work through my shit. Please bear with me until then"

A lot has happened in the years we have been apart. Her confidence has taken a real hit and I have as much responsibility to help her through all of that.

"I am nothing, if not a patient man" I said with a smirk.

She gave a small smile to which I added "But you have to promise me"

The smile left her face as quickly as it came "What?"

"Promise that you'll never think any less of yourself"

She nodded vigorously.

"Promise that you'll trust me"

Again, she nodded.

"Promise that Nisha will never come between us again"

She stared at me in surprise.

"Promise me" I repeated "I don't want to hear that name again"

She looked doubtful but nodded, nevertheless.

"I'm holding onto that" I said as she threw her arms around me again.

All's forgotten. For now.

The date ended far too quick for my liking and my mind reeled with the ideas to prolong our stay. We didn't have lunch and our lays & coke stayed untouched.

"Do you want ice cream?" I said as I unlocked the helmet from the bullet.

She looked puzzled "Not really"

Something must have been visible on my face for she added "Why? You want one?"

I shook my head with a sigh "I don't want to go home just yet"

She squinted at me with the glaring sunlight behind my back "Me neither"

"You didn't want to leave home before" I teased.

She smiled "All this getting ready would be a waste"

I looked at her top to bottom before kissing the center of her forehead "You look beautiful"

She blankly nodded in acknowledgement "Where shall we go now?"

Her discomfort at my compliment is obvious and so, I changed the subject "Are you hungry?"

She nodded as a grimace settled on her face "Amma made brinjal today"

I laughed at the look on her face "What do you want to eat?"

Her eyes lit up at my question "You will make?"

I nodded, amused with how easily the expression changed on her face.

"Hmm" she said, pretending to think long and hard when I have a feeling she already made up her mind "Keema Biryani"

"It will take two hours and it's almost 2 PM"

She scrunched up her nose in disappointment "I'll be alright with whatever you make then"

I laughed "No, you won't"

This time, she settled on the back while I put my helmet on and raced back home.

"Shall we go to your house?" she said as we rounded the corner to her house.

"Okay" I agreed, wondering what made her abruptly change our destination. It's only two minutes away and I didn't mind it.

Not until I parked at my house; when I realized there's probably nothing in my fridge.

"I think we are going to stay hungry" I informed, opening my tiny refrigerator only to be confirmed of my doubts.

Except for milk, Thums up and some carrots, it's almost empty.

She groaned.

"Shall I order something?" I suggested, noting her observe my tiny kitchen with interest.

It's more of a galley but it suits my needs and I have no complaints.

"There's Maggi" she said, looking up at one of the shelves above the stovetop in delight.

"Maggi it is, then" I sighed, thanking myself for keeping the bachelor food in stock.

It's done quickly and we devoured it in record time downing it with some Thums up.

"I'm sated" I patted my belly, lying down perpendicularly on the bed with my hands under my head.

"Me too" Anju said, sitting beside me.

She pulled my hand from my head and lied down beside me with her head on my shoulder.

My hand went around her as she said "I can get used to this"

"You better" I repeated her words from earlier making her chuckle.

She's right. I can get used to this. I have everything I ever wanted right in my arms and there's no losing her this time.

My phone blared disturbing the quiet peace settled between us and Anju pulled out of my arms saying "I knew this is too good to be true"

I chuckled taking the phone from my pocket "Shit!"

"Who's calling?" She said, instantly going alert.

"My mom"

"Then pick it up"

I showed my screen to her "Whatsapp video call"

She looked alarmed "Shit!"

A part of me doesn't want to take the call; with Anju only a few feet away. But I don't want her to worry either because I always take her calls unless I'm busy at work which I haven't been since my leave of absence.

Knowing what I am about to do, Anju shifted away from my peripheral vision as I accepted the call.

"Hi Mom. What's up?"

"Are you alright?" she said in a casual tone.

"Of course I am" I replied matching her tone, trying not to gaze at Anju's reaction. They haven't talked to each other in years and this is not the ideal way to reacquaint.

"Are you sure?" she said, looking at me with concern.

My heart settled "Yes, mom. I am"

"Then why is Anju hiding from me?" She all but announced without a care in the world. Her eyes danced with amusement as I gaped at her in horror.

I looked around the room before turning my gaze back on her "Is there a secret camera in here?"

There are things that I have done on this bed; things that I'm not proud of. For a nano second, my vision filled with images of me jacking off and I shook my head with the absurdity of it all.

It can't be.

Anju chuckled silently, obviously enjoying my reaction.

"I have mom's radar" My mother's sparkling gaze confirmed that she's having fun at my expense.

That doesn't explain how she knows because no one knows about us except-------- hell!

My brother!

He must have told her inspite of my warning. I am going to kill him when I find him.

"Come on, girl now. I haven't seen you in ages" she continued when neither of us made a move.

"I am sorry, auntie" Anju said, finally settling beside me.

"Oh my my. You put on some weight. You look healthy and more beautiful"

"How are you?" Anju mumbled with a look of embarrassment.

"Now now. You don't have to feel sorry. We can forget about the past and move on. After all, we will soon be a family; in name"

"Subtle, mom" I said sarcastically "So subtle. Thank you very much"

The twinkle in her gaze didn't leave as she said "Put your arm around her, Vamsi"

"Mom!"

"Don't pretend with me, boy" she said with a roll of her eyes "I know you probably took liberties with her already---"

"MOM!"

She continued without a bother "Do me a favour and put your arm around her. I want to see my babies"

She's made up her mind and there's no changing her. With a reluctant sigh, I did as told squeezing Anju's shoulder in a sign of reassurance.

My mother gazed at us fondly "God knows how long I wanted this to happen. You two look like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie"

Anju laughed.

"They broke up" I supplied, amused with my mother's knowledge of Hollywood.

"Oh no. Really?"

"Long ago"

She frowned "You guys better stick together. No more fights"

"We will" I replied, surprised at her sudden concern.

"When are you leaving, Anju?"

Her question stopped my heart. Hell!

In my excitement and happiness of solving our issues, I totally forgot about that.

"End of next week" she replied calmly; the truth of her departure suddenly hovering over us.

"That's-----"

"Anju, won't you tell my mother about the bag you got for her?" I interfered, trying to change the subject.

My ploy worked and my mother got excited at the idea of a new handbag; forgetting her previous question.

My mind needs to come to terms with Anju's leaving before both of us can have a discussion. I have no idea how we are going to get past this.

I was prepared when I arrived with my 45 day deadline mission. My sole intention was to win her heart but I never thought about the future; having been prepared for a rejection.

Now that I have more than what I bargained for, I suddenly feel clueless.

How are we going to be apart after this?

"A Michael Kors bag, you say?" My mom's eyes lit up as Anju explained about the bag I saw on the first day of her arrival.

"I bought it during Christmas sale" Anju confessed sheepishly "I couldn't afford it otherwise"

Turning her gaze to me, my mother pointedly said "This boy didn't get me anything after his first salary. Learn something from my daughter in law"

Daughter-in-law?

"I sent you and dad on vacation to Maldives" I replied, amused at my mother's new nickname for Anju.

"That doesn't count"

I wanted to argue but then, what's the point.

My grandfather always said to not argue with women and agree with whatever they say. In his words, that's the secret of his successful long marriage.

"How do you know I got the bag for your mother?" Anju said, snuggling into my side after disconnecting the call with my mother.

"Nannamma doesn't use handbag so it's clear that's for Mom" I replied dully, suddenly remembering that I didn't get anything from her.

"What's gotten into you?" she lifted her head, perhaps noting the somberness in my tone.

"Why didn't you get me anything?"

She inhaled sharply but didn't say a word. It's obvious my question took her by surprise but I don't want the words in my head eating me from the inside.

"I didn't---- know---how----"

"I know we were not on good terms but you even got something for your grandmother" I didn't care if I sounded petulant but I can't believe I'm lower than that woman in her list.

"I did get you something" she mumbled softly.

I perked up "What?"

She looked embarrassed.

"Why didn't you give me then?" I prodded. When the silence continued, I added "What exactly did you buy me?"

"I didn't know what to get you. Nothing seemed enough" she said, caressing my cheek with her thumb.

"Anything would have been fine, Anju. A tshirt, a wristband. Anything. I just want to know that you remembered me"

"I did. But no matter how much I thought, I couldn't decide"

"But you did buy me something and you are embarrassed to say what it is. I don't understand"

"I got couples' watch set"

"What?"

"I----I--- didn't like anything. For a long while. But then I saw this couples' watches and fell in love with them. I bought it convincing myself that we can share; or probably if it didn't bother me I can give it to you so you can share it with your future girlfriend" She rambled awkwardly.

I snorted.

"I know that's stupid" Anju continued, looking confused "But it was so beautiful and in my mind, looked wonderful on your wrist"

"Why didn't you give me then?"

"I don't know"

"You don't know?"

"It has this in built location tracking app that shares each other's locations. And it's a couple's set. That seemed--- intimate. Not something friends share. Not something I could give you"

"Not something you could give me, huh?"

"But also, I didn't want you to share it with anyone else" she said weakly.

"Does that make sense?" she said.

"A little"

She groaned "I have gone crazy. That watch is not my style. What the hell was I thinking?"

I chuckled "You weren't"

She glared "You don't have to say"

"I'm kidding, Anju. That was actually sweet."

In almost a whisper, she said "Guess some part of me wished we could-----we-----still----"

"I get it" I said, kissing her forehead. Some part of her hoped we could still be together.

She chuckled to herself "Of course if you had a girl, I would be plotting ways to kill her in my head"

I kissed her then. Slowly. Intimately. Taking all the time in the world.

Her honesty is astounding. She didn't hold back once our barriers were broken; after hiding her feelings for so long.

It's a pity neither of us had the guts to admit our feelings before it was too late. This new found intimacy is now both a torture and liberating.

When she pulled back with harsh gasps of breath, I whispered in her ear "You don't have to. Because you are my girl. For life!"

---

Thank you for reading. Vote, Comment and Share if you like the chapter.

- JANAKI