I haven't slept all night and my insomnia is not the reason this time. The excitement of seeing Anju after 32 long months kept me awake all night.

My relentless pursuit made Anju's mother finally divulge the news of her arrival; a month ago. Upon hearing it, the first thing I did was apply leave for as long as she stays in Vizag; stating family emergency to my project manager.

There's no way I'm giving up the chance of making things right with Anju this time.

No matter what she throws at me, I'm prepared.

Her dad on the other hand is still disapproving. The years have done nothing to change his altered opinion of me.

To avoid a confrontation, I reached the airport before him. He arrived twenty minutes later at 7.25 AM and on seeing me, his gaze immediately travelled to auntie.

"You are persistent" he commented, standing beside me at the arrival gate.

"I am sorry" I said mildly.

"How did you come?"

"Ola"

"You can come back with us" he offered, gazing at the arrivals board.

"Thank you. Will Anju be ok with it?"

With narrowed eyes, he said "You leave that to me"

Time doesn't pass quickly especially when you want it to fly. It took forever for the next thirty minutes to pass and anticipation started to build as soon as I heard the flight from New Delhi landed.

Every waiting second is agonizing. My heart is palpitating as my eyes searched every face in the incoming crowd until I found a glimpse of her lugging her bags towards the arrival gate.

In a black and white top and jeans that fit her body perfectly, with shades covering her beautiful eyes and a well made messy bun on her head, she looked nothing like the best friend I lost almost three years ago.

The girl walking towards us is effortlessly chic even after spending a day on the flight.

Her face is impassive and devoid of any makeup; and until she came up to us, I wasn't sure if she even noticed us.

"How are you?" Uncle said, taking her into his arms.

"Tired" she mumbled, wrapping her arms around him "I want a shower"

After hugging her mother, we followed uncle to the parking lot.

"This is pretty" she said when he stopped at a red tata tiago "Can you drive it well, Nanna?"

"Still practising" he replied, turning his gaze on me "Will you drive?"

"Yes" I agreed instantly.

With her luggage loaded in the trunk, I started the engine realizing she hasn't said a word to me.

The silence in the car did nothing to break the awkwardness between us.

"Do you have to keep the glasses on?" Auntie remarked, few minutes later.

"It's hot" she replied blandly.

Trying not to stare at the girl beside me, I wondered how much she changed in the time we have been away.

"How's Anusha?" Auntie said, putting a break to the silence in the car again.

"She's fine"

"What about those other girls? Beth and Angel"

"Annabeth and Angela?" To auntie's affirmation, she added "I haven't seen them in a year. The last time I talked to them, they are happy and healthy"

"Your cousins are waiting for you" Uncle commented a while later.

"Already?" There's no surprise in her tone.

"You are talking to them on phone. So, we thought you'd be ok with it" Aunty mumbled slowly.

They are worried about her reaction which can only mean things are still not normal between the cousins.

If she's finally gotten in touch with them, I'm the only one left out. But then, I probably deserved that while they didn't.

"No, it's alright" She said softly.

"Are you still working at Hyderabad, Vamsi?" Uncle turned his attention to me this time.

"Yes. I am planning to change the company though" I replied, gazing at Anju without making it seem obvious.

None of them spoke again until we reached their house.

Ananya, Madhu and Nandu jumped into her arms as soon as she entered the house. Then her aunt and uncle did the same.

"At least you've gotten fairer" Her Nannamma commented in her usual bitter voice upon seeing her.

"And she's still alive" Anju muttered under her breath which didn't go unnoticed by her cousins who giggled at her counter but uncle's glare shut them up.

"Why is this boy here again?"

"Ammaaa... Stay silent please" Uncle ordered calmly.

"Freshen up, Anju. We'll make breakfast by then" Aunty suggested, offering a towel.

When she left, Ananya came up to me "Long time no see"

Giving a big kiss on her cheek, I lifted her off ground and twirled her around enthusiastically "Thank you for getting married"

If not for that, Anju wouldn't be here right now. I owe this to her.

She laughed "Damn! Even Ayaan wasn't this happy when I said yes"

Putting her down, I grinned "Congrats on the marriage"

"You will be there, right?" she said matter-of-factly. Before I can respond, she added with a mischievous smile "Of course you'll be there. Where else are you gonna be?"

"Thanks for the invite" I said sarcastically making her laugh.

"No, seriously. The wedding is in ten days and it'd be nice if you can be here" she said, all humour gone .

"Well, I'm not expected at office for another 50 days. I can be there for the wedding as well as for what follows" I said the second part in almost a whisper.

"Ha ha ha" she said with fake cheerfulness.

"If you can be there to drive the girls around, I can continue work for another week" Anju's dad interfered us with a hopeful look.

As I have already set my mind to winning his heart and his daughter's, I said yes immediately. The chance of driving Anju around is an added bonus.

We cleared the sofa and chairs in the living for everyone to settle on the ground when Anju returned wearing a pink top and white trousers. Her loose top is tied at one end to hug her torso perfectly while her loose hair, much longer than I can remember is left to dry around her shoulders.

She carried a delicate scent of mangoes with her that instantly made me wish I could bury my face in her hair. Apparently, I'm not the only one who felt that way.

"Damn, sister! You smell delicious" Ananya remarked taking a sniff of her hair appreciatively.

"What shampoo is it?" Madhu asked curiously

"I don't think it's available in India" she replied dully.

"Can I borrow? Please?" she said with a pout.

Anju sighed "You can use only once. I have just one bottle"

"Next time, you buy me one"

"Sure"

For the next twenty minutes, we got busy eating. The elders discussed about the upcoming wedding while Anjali's cousins curiously asked her questions about her stay in the US.

'Is it true everyone has a gun in their houses?'

'Do they really kiss on the road?'

'Does it snow where you live?'

Anjali answered all their questions patiently. But not once did she glance in my direction or meet my eyes.

The thirty two months apart has not only changed her personality but also made her prettier.

"Can I get an idly?"

Her question is received with gasps of surprise from everyone but it's her mother who voiced our doubts "You are asking for idly?"

She nodded and on being served one, she tasted and said "Nope, still hate it"

"We need to have a long talk, Anju" Ananya began reproachfully "But first, did you get everything in the list?"

"Yep. You owe me three hundred and seventy two dollars fifty five cents"

"We both know I'm not paying you back" she said with a roll of her eyes "Why did it cost so much? Didn't you buy during Christmas sale?"

"You only wanted brands like NARS, Estee Lauder and Bobbi brown. That shimmer brick alone costed me 60 bucks" Anju argued.

"But I'm getting married" she replied with a petulant expression.

"What did you get me?" Madhu blurted out when dishes are being cleared out.

"I asked for extra packet of kisses chocolates. Did you get them?" Nandu joined.

"I have to check if you got all the products correct" Ananya added.

"How hard is it to ask for Nars bronzer in the shade Casino?" Anju replied stonily.

With aunty joining to ask about Multi vitamin tablets, Anju got down to opening her bags.

"You are wearing a saree, right?" Ananya commented, taking the seat beside her on ground.

"Am I the one getting married?" Anju asked dismally.

"I am wearing one. You should too" Madhu supplied brightly.

"Go shopping tomorrow and buy one" Ananya suggested, helping Anju to methodically place the items of her bag on ground.

"I can't I'm jetlagged" she said in a complaining tone.

"Is that a real thing?" Nandu asked anxiously.

Anju threw a look at him but it's Ananya that spoke "We have Sangeet in a week and all my hopes are pinned on you. Don't disappoint me in front of the groom's family"

"Sangeet?"

"The boy's family is rich" Madhu murmured ignoring Ananya's look of disapproval "They are doing all sort of stuff"

"Wait, is that-----"

Ananya's question is interrupted by Anju who pulled away the bag from her hands "That's for Neha"

One by one, she gave the presents she got for all of them. First, to her cousins, then her parents, aunt, uncle and finally her grandmother.

"Who's that for?" Ananya said, taking a paper bag out from one of the zippers of the bag.

"It's not for you" Anju took the bag from her hands and stood up. When I thought she'd walk away, she came up to me and met my eyes for the first time since she landed.

Right away, I noticed the absence of the usual fire in her eyes. Eyes that make you want to drown in them. Eyes that you can't help but love..

Clearing her throat, she said "There are calcium tablets and some multi vitamins that work for muscle pains. Tell Ammamma to take them twice a day"

Holy crap! She doesn't know?

I stood up, surprised by her clueless statement and her sudden attention. Anju's dad shook his head when I gazed at him.

How am I going to do this!

"What's going on?" she said, glancing between me and her dad.

"Anju" I began slowly, laying a hand on her shoulder "I don't know how to tell you this"

"W-what happened?" Her eyes watered as she asked what her mind already guessed.

"We lost nannamma eight months ago" I said softly watching Anju shake her head in denial.

"That can't be" she croaked as tears flew onto her cheeks.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she shouted at her father in an accusing tone.

"You were alone and already---" He paused, his gaze travelling to me.

"I couldn't even mourn her death" she wailed, throwing a dark look at her father before running to her room.

When I picked up the paper bag she left, I am surprised to find it heavy. There are two bottle of medicines and a small black handbag with a tag 'MK' hanging by it.

Anju always had a special place in Nannamma's heart and I can only imagine what she's going through. That was exactly what I felt when I received a call in the middle of the night from daddy.

Not only was she my grandmother but she was also the woman who took care of me, growing up. The woman I could never do anything for, to repay my gratitude.

Ananya and then aunty tried to get Anju to unlock her door but nothing they said could change her mind. When uncle nodded knowingly at me, I took the chance and knocked her door.

"Anju.. Please open the door. We need to talk" I said to the closed door.

"I know you are angry and upset but Anju, you have to understand the reason why he didn't tell you"

Silence.

"Please open the door and I'll tell you all about it"

The door clicked and she stood opposite to me, teary eyed "Was it painful?"

Understanding what she meant, I shook my head "She died in her sleep"

"How did it happen?"

Entering the room, I closed the door behind me "Heart stroke. If she felt any pain, it ended quickly"

"I am sorry" she said, closing her face with her hands as she wept silently.

There's not many times I have seen Anju cry and it's safe to say there's nothing I hate more.

Pulling her hands away from her face, I drew her into my arms "Wherever she is, remember she's with thathayya"

"She gave me so much but I did nothing for her" she sobbed, wrapping her arms around my waist.

That, I can relate too. Nannamma is the most loving and happiest soul of our lives. She never fell short of giving us the love we needed. In more ways than one, she had been my mother.

"The last time I met her, she spoke of you" I began in a soothing tone "She was worried if you are eating properly or working too hard for money. I told her you'd be alright but she gave me a slap on the wrist and called me an idiot" I said smiling at the memory.

On the same day, she also said to me to not lose Anju again. Even if I want to, I can't repeat those words to her.

Knowing Nannamma's last words to me are about her, would devastate her.

Take care of her, she said when I went to her room to inform her that I'm leaving. Those were the final words she ever spoke to me.

"W-when? When did you last t-talk to her?" Anju's voice put a break to my thoughts of Nannamma.

"Ugadhi. She died three days after I returned to Hyderabad"

She sniffed "How do I say thank you to her? How do I tell her that I love her?"

"She knows"

"I lied to her" she croaked as her voice broke down "I lied that I'll come to see her again. Now I'll never see her"

"She understands" I said gently, as tears pooled in my own eyes.

Outwardly, Anju may have changed a lot. She may have even developed new habits; but inside, she's the same girl I have always loved.

When she finally left the comfort of my arms and went back to her family in the living, I realized one thing.

Not only am I the only person who didn't get a present from her, I haven't seen her smile since the moment she landed. Not once.

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Thank you for reading. Vote, Comment and Share if you like this chap.

I've had a long day and I just want to go to sleep but the day I wrote this chapter, I decided I should share this with everyone.

My Ammamma died almost 3 years ago. She took care of me as a kid for a year or so when my parents couldn't afford me.

Her death was a shock because she was perfectly normal (or we thought) until one day she wasn't. We just had a big wedding in our family and she died less than a week later.

I got to spend a week closely by her side and not once, did I ask if she took her medicines or had food. Not me. Not anyone.

Everyone in the family were busy with all the hungama that comes with a big fat Indian wedding. All of us loved her. Some more than the others but we sure did.

But none of us noticed if she's mentally happy; if she's alright.

Now, I realize that as we grow old, we forget that our parents and grand parents are growing older too.

We forget that they have issues and problems. We forget their lives are equally important as ours.

I have very few regrets in my life and not doing anything for her is my one greatest regret.

I'm a very sensitive person and I tear up watching Harry say "There's no Hogwarts without you Hagrid". Every single time.

Yet, I wasn't able to cry when we lost her. I still don't know why.

I don't want anybody else to carry the guilt that I do. Almost every day.

Don't do the same mistake I did. Your grand parents are not invincible. They are not going to live forever.

So, make the best of it when you can. You never know what's going to happen the next second.

- JANAKI