Classes are boring as usual but professors are calm and patient no matter what kind of racket we made in classes; probably because this is our last semester.

Only three theory classes and one lab should have made our lives easier but the fear of final project rested upon all of us like a dark cloud on a rainy day.

To make things worse for me, my best friend and the angel of our college developed a bond that made me envious. Me!

They have gotten along really well which shouldn't have come as a surprise because Vamsi is loved by everyone.

He's easy going and friendly and can make anyone feel comfortable in his company.

It should have made me happy like it always does because he makes up for my lack of social skills. But the only thing he accomplished this time is in making me feel insecure.

Our Cricket practise is an additional headache but both teams decided it's better to have our match during Pongal holidays. It is well received by the 4th year students but the rest complained about having to go to native villages.

Since Vamsi is the vice captain of our team, he is able to help Pallav in convincing everybody.

No matter what I tell him, he'd still invite Nisha to our practise and I began to hate the sessions because we rarely get to be alone except for our bike rides back and forth home.

Thirteen years of friendship and I feel uneasy all because a girl just walked into our lives and changed the equation.

On the outside though, nothing changed. We still do everything together. Go to college, play Cricket, eat lunch, go home. But, it doesn't feel the same.

Not to me.

Not when she's there everywhere.

And not when I see the way he looks at her. Like she's the most beautiful thing he ever laid eyes on.

Which she probably is!

While he looks forward to the team meetings so he can see her again, I dread the hours I have to spend trying not to grind my teeth or glare at them.

Pretenses are not my cup of tea and it's becoming increasing difficult trying not to look affected at their nonstop flirting.

Though I keep telling myself the only reason it worries me is cause I have been used to his undivided attention for so long but there's a tiny part of me that disagrees; that stresses it's just the tip of an iceberg.

Whatever the case, I cannot wait for the next four months to pass quickly so we can move on with our lives and, Vamsi and I can carry on with our aspirations as planned.

But three weeks of team meetings only got us as far as the framework involved. Thankfully, the other teams haven't gotten much progress either which relived some pressure and made me realize I'm not the only one having trouble finding my bearings.

If there's anyone having a worse time than me, it is Neha. Anila is being a big pain in the ass while Shaan is being his usual detached self.

She is confident murdering Anila will be liberating humanity and a gift to mankind just as confident as she is, of Shaan's irrefutable love for her.

Though I partially agree with her opinion on the first part, I'm worried what her next step will be; after borderline stalking.

As if aware of my internal battle, Anila keeps throws her signature smirks at me, shifting her glances between me and Nisha during the time we spend in labs discussing the project.

Everything seems dreary these days that I am even looking forward to the college annual celebrations so I can worry about simpler things like rehearsals for our dance performance.

I realized how much I miss the normalcy of my life as I knocked the door at Vamsi's house at 10.30 on a Sunday morning.

Ammamma opened the door, looking at me in surprise "You are awake early for a Sunday. Gods must be crazy"

I narrowed my eyes at her "Not you too"

"Surprised your mother, didn't you?"

Ignoring her question, I entered the house locking the door behind me "What are you guys doing?"

"Vamsi is making keema pulao"

My dull mood lifted immediately "Really? I will call my mom that I'm staying here for lunch"

"As if that makes a difference" Vamsi's voice echoed from the kitchen.

"What do you mean?" I shouted as I strolled into the kitchen, immediately surrounded by the waft of masalas.

"Your tiny cup of rice isn't going to affect her cooking plans" He snickered as I leaned in to look at the cooking pot.

"What are you doing? Get away" He said, pushing me behind him.

"Chill boss. I'm just checking"

"Checking what? You have no idea what's going on here" He laughed.

"That's not true!"

"Oh really? How many times have you made this?"

He smirked as I glared at him.

"I'm bad at cooking because I'm good at everything else" I answered instead.

"Bad? Anju, you are terrible" He grinned.

"What did I tell you guys about not fighting with each other?" Ammamma's voice made me pause.

"We are not fighting" He answered throwing a look at me to confirm his statement.

"Yes" I agreed with an answering glare that promised retribution.

He tried hard not to laugh but as usual Ammamma picked up our unspoken agreement "Don't think I don't know what's going on here"

"He started it" I complained immediately taking the opening.

"No, she did. Doesn't know a thing but-------"

"Vamsi!!"

Ammamma's reprimand made him grit his teeth "You always take her side"

"That's cause she loves me" I did a slow dance, throwing my arms around her.

"Look at her. I get to sweat in the kitchen while she gets your hugs" he grouched.

"I never told you not to hug me" Her cheery voice made me laugh.

"But you always pestered me to learn cooking. Not her"

"It's for your own good. You'll thank me one day"

"Not today" he grumbled, turning back to stir the rice and masalas.

"I haven't seen you in days. Finally found time for me?" Ammamma said, pulling me with her into the living.

"I'm sorry. There's been a lot going on" I said, feeling guilty.

"I know but I worry about you. Vamsi looks exhausted when he comes home and I can't imagine what's going on with you"

"I thought of coming last Sunday but I slept through the whole day" I replied sheepishly.

She laughed making me groan "I can't wait to leave for US"

Sighing, she said "You will give me more to worry then"

"You shouldn't only worry about me" I said cheekily "Spare some for Vamsi"

"I heard that" His shout made us fall into fits of laughter.

When she recovered, she spoke softly "You have to put on weight before you leave, Anju. I'm already scared how you will survive in an unfamiliar place"

"I can take care of myself" I grumbled uneasily.

"With so many people nagging, you still eat so little now. How do you expect me to believe you?"

"I will try I will try" I said, raising my hands in surrender and leapt out of the sofa.

"By try, she means she won't eat and I have to run after her with a box in my hand" Vamsi said sarcastically, appearing at the hallway.

"Shut up"

"Why? Isn't that what's going to happen?"

Before I can say anything, Ammamma intervened again "Don't get started again, you two!"

Having said that, she left the room and I fell back into the couch as Vamsi did the same.

Following Ammamma's words, I chose not to argue and so said "Why are you here?"

"My work is done"

My eyebrows raised "It's over?"

"No. I added water. It has to cook on its own now" He replied smugly, enjoying my total ignorance.

When I did nothing but glare at him, he said "Wanna watch some action movie?"

"I have to get back home to work"

"Not today. Let's unwind for a change"

"I'm thankful Pallav didn't ask us to come for practise today"

"He wanted to. But I managed to convince him otherwise"

"He must be dealing with his own shit-----"

"Language!"

Rolling my eyes, I said "I meant project. Heard his mentor was being an ass---err-- I mean a jerk"

He raised his eyebrows "Pallav didn't tell me any of this"

"Of course he didn't. There are better things to discuss between a Captain and his VC"

He smirked "His VC?"

I grinned "Aren't you?"

He smiled as he bit his lip "That makes me your  VC too"

Seeing his familiar smile lightened my heart. Like a shit load of weight is lifted off my shoulders. This always happens. I have gotten so used to him that his one smile can work as one session of therapy.

Except when I'm angry at him. Or annoyed. Or irritated. Or a combination of one of these when I want to punch him in his stomach; without hurting him too much.

God, I'm such a softie. I snickered at that thought.

"What's going on?" He asked, staring into my eyes.

I swore inwardly. No matter how many times I keep reminding myself not to let him look into my eyes, I fail terribly every single time.

Whoever said eye contact is a great thing doesn't know shit. People can look into your eyes and figure out what's going on in your head.

May be not exact thoughts, but the good, bad and ugly things you try to hide. Vamsi, for one always said my eyes reveal everything even when I have no expression on my face. 

I know that's corny shit but having Vamsi understand my thoughts even before I say them aloud makes me wonder if it's true.

"What's going on?" He repeated, narrowing his eyes "You went from funny to serious in a sec"

I groaned, closing my eyes "Stop doing that"

He chuckled "I'm not doing anything"

"Stop reading me" I complained.

"I'm not!" He laughed "Now tell me what are you thinking?"

I pouted "Didn't you figure that out?"

"No" he said, biting his lip "Is it about Neha? She's totally crazy these days"

It's not but the thought of entertaining him with a lie appealed to me "She made me follow Shaan to Dwarakanagar only to find him at a bookstore"

"Oh my god, really?"

"We were found out of course" I said, retaliating the whole tale.

His eyes danced with delight and he ended up laughing by the time I am done with it.

"She's totally crazy. I wish I could throw this on Anila entirely but this happened much before. There's no stopping her"

He nodded affirmatively "I wish I could talk to him but the guy's such a loner even Pallav doesn't know a thing about him in spite of being his classmate"

"There's nothing to find out. He insisted he doesn't like her. Yet that stupid girl makes a fool of herself. Again and again. Imagine the situation if the roles are reversed"

"What would you do?"

"What?"

"What would you do?" he repeated "If you like a boy? Will you go ahead and tell him or wait for him to feel the same?"

I thought about it. I have never really liked anyone long enough to talk to them. Sure I have had my share of crushes but I never imagined a future with any of them.

Except Vamsi, the thought jumped into my mind suddenly.

Shaking my head to ward off unnecessary ideas, I kept going back to his question "I think I will confess. There's nothing to lose, right?"

I'm not the type to sit back and cry. Brooding isn't my talent.

"You'll take it in stride if he doesn't feel the same?" he asked curiously.

"I don't know until that happens but I won't be like Neha; that's for sure"

He cocked his eyebrows "Because you have too much pride and stubbornness?"

"That too and no means no, irrespective of the gender"

He thought about it and for a few seconds he stayed serious before his face relaxed and he finally spoke "This must be the day Neha came rushing into the ground and you left me without saying goodbye?"

Oops. I almost said sorry but he isn't the type to hold a grudge so I simply nodded.

"You waited long?" I asked instead.

"No. Nisha wanted me to drop her home so I left almost immediately after you did"

Something twisted in my heart uncomfortably. I didn't know that happened.

"But I heard she lives in Visalakshinagar. Isn't that far?"

"She does" He replied, ignoring the second part of my question.

"Why did you have to go that far? Didn't she bring her own vehicle?"

"Why did you go all the way to Dwarakanagar for Neha? That's farther"

"She's my friend" I defended.

"So is she"

His words stunned me and I quickly averted my eyes recognizing my own jealousy.

What the hell is wrong with me! He can drop anyone he wishes to; on his bike.

Yours too, my mind snapped.

His father bought it which makes it more his' than mine, I argued with myself.

Yours. Mine. These words didn't mean anything before but my stupid jealousy might drive a wedge between us if I'm being overly dramatic about this.

"You still don't like her"

The look on his face made me realize this is important to him. That my answer matters.

He wants me to like her, the thought settled uncomfortably in my mind. 

Because I am his best friend, he wants me to like her.

The thought burned a hole in my heart. I didn't want him to like her but he does and now, he wants me to like her too.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out why. He thinks she will be someone important in our lives. Someone who will be present in our future.

Future. I thought that word meant him and me.

Never did I think there will come a day when he will find someone important. Probably more important than me.

That thought didn't sit well in my stomach. Like the sudden flickering of a light bulb, my doubts cleared and I understood why.

Everything made sense to me instantly.

But no matter how much I contemplated it inside my head, I don't know how I could say it without revealing my thoughts.

After being confused and fighting with myself for years, for the first time, I realized the extent of my own feelings.

He is not just a friend. He is more.

How much more? The thought popped and overwhelmed by everything, I looked up to him only to find him staring at me "What's the matter Anju? You don't like her?"

"It's not that I don't like her" I answered when I finally found my voice.

"You don't like her" he said it like he's making a statement.

"I don't dislike her" I replied instead.

That probably answered his doubts as he sighed "I know you are not comfortable with our flirting---"

"You guys are a nuisance when our schedule is already packed. She's also distracting the cricket practise; this match is important to us" Though every word I said is true, I am aware of the fact that I am lying to him.

I'm lying to my best friend. Not my usual stupid white lies but a big fat bold lie.

"Ok. I will not try to be obvious"

His smirk made me glare "You are such a guy!"

He laughed, lightening the dark mood and ending our discussion.

Remembering the scent wafting from the kitchen, I shouted "Aren't you going to check the pulao?"

His eyes widened for a second before they relaxed "Don't worry, it's in sim"

"It's been a while. What if it's burned?"

"No way" He said but got up and went back to check.

Today has been an eye opener; in more ways than one. Not only did I have a serious chat with my best friend about the girl he likes, I realized something that I have been fighting with myself for a while now.

I like my best friend. I don't know how or when it happened, but being so comfortable around him made me not realize my own feelings.

How much more?  The thought kept coming back no matter how much I tried to shake it off.

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Thank you for reading. Vote, comment and share if you like the chapter.

- JANAKI