"Did you pack extra sweaters?" Amma reminded hotly.

"I will buy something there" I replied flatly. Before she can rant about winters being much cooler in the states, I added "Winter is still six months away, don't worry"

She sighed, settling on my bed "Can't you re-think about not telling your cousins about this? They will be very disappointed, Anju"

"I know. But you know how to pacify them"

"We will tell them not to inform Vamsi" she pressed on earnestly.

"And they will ignore. I don't have the strength to explain why I am leaving without him" I responded meekly "Please don't make me go through that. Please!"

"Leave her be" Nanna announced from the doorway, watching us both with narrowed eyes.

When he left, Amma said dully "I can't imagine your nannamma's reaction when she knows this"

"She may be ecstatic that I went without Vamsi"

"Or she may become the evil mother-in-law and haunt me for the rest of my life for letting you do this without informing her"

I smiled sadly "Nanna will protect you"

"Anju.."

"Hmm?"

"Promise me" she said morosely, her eyes filled with tears "Promise me that you will take care of yourself. Promise me that you'll eat on time"

I went into her arms "I will but you have to promise that you won't cry in the evening"

She wiped her eyes "I will be on my best behaviour"

Neha came few minutes after my mother left "So this is it, huh?"

I nodded "This is it"

"I got some pickles for you; in case you get sick of their food"

"They have Indian restaurants there"

"Heard of them. Don't taste half as good but costs a lot more than their cuisines"

"I will miss you" I said quietly.

Her eyes turned sad instantly "I will miss you more. Damn, you woman. I was hoping no waterworks until evening"

"Don't start crying on me, ok? It will be more difficult"

After lunch, we settled on our beds when Neha spoke "Not going to see Vamsi one last time?"

I shook my head.

"Still not answering your good morning texts?"

Again, I shook my head.

"What the hell is wrong with that boy?" she said angrily.

"It's alright. I won't be sending anything from tomorrow anyway"

"Are you going to be alright?" she asked, looking concerned.

"I have to be" I replied frankly.

"You should stop thinking about that douchebag. He is carrying on with his life as usual; going out and all"

"Neha" I began tentatively "Even if I ask about him, please don't say anything"

"I am so sorry, hun"

To my silence, she added "So, are you going to see his grandmother?"

I sighed. That's something I haven't decided yet.

I don't want to leave Vizag without seeing her one last time. But, I also have no idea what I'm going to tell her about not visiting her for a whole month.

She will know something's wrong between me and Vamsi. If she didn't ask him already, she'll ask me now.

But the fear of answering her questions can't stop me from doing the right thing.

I owe her that much; for her and thathayya's unconditional love.

In the evening, I took Nanna's bike and drove to their house; immediately feeling relieved at the absence of Vamsi's bullet.

To my surprise Vamsi's elder brother Vineet opened the door.

"Is Ammamma home?" I asked awkwardly, getting in.

"Where else will she be?" he said rudely.

Vineet doesn't like me and I never knew why. At least, that didn't change in my life as his feelings stayed consistent.

Knocking on the closed door, I went inside to find Ammamma reading an old Telugu novel.

"Anju!" she exclaimed in surprise, looking delightful.

"How are you?" I asked gently.

"I am very good. Except that I missed you so much"

"I am sorry for not coming early"

"I'm not stupid. I know something happened between you two. That idiot didn't tell me; no matter how many times I asked him"

I scoffed "He is an idiot. Isn't he?"

"Of course. Got all his grandfather's habits of lying and thinking I wouldn't know"

I smiled at her. I'm going to miss her so much.

"Will you tell me what happened or are you going to keep things from this old lady"

"Iron lady" I corrected and watched her smile "I can not tell you what I don't know"

"What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said. He's the one who's ignoring my texts, walking away upon coming face to face with me. I have as much clue as you do"

I haven't told my parents about the promise I made him do and I am not going to confess to Ammamma either.

"You are not joking" she said, looking serious.

I shook my head and took my mobile out of my pocket to show my one sided text messages to him.

Score. Take that, Vamsi.

Upon hearing about my departure, Ammamma will blast him left, right and centre.

Just because he's doing what I asked him to, doesn't mean he could get away with hurting me.

He's having fun with dates? He will know how much fun it will be when Ammamma, auntie and uncle learn of my absence and know that he's responsible.

It is a petty revenge but I cannot just not do anything.

"He's spending a lot of time on the phone" she observed loudly.

If she thought she can get it out from me, she's mistaken. I shrugged like I don't know what she's talking about.

"You are not going to tell on him?" she said, looking surprised.

"No"

"Why?"

"Because it's none of my business" I said gently.

"Since when?"

"Since I'm no longer a part of his life"

"Anju...."

I looked at her with a sad smile "I did nothing wrong Ammamma"

"I never said you did"

I smiled sadly.

"How are you Anju? You look like you lost weight" she said, looking worried.

"I will be fine. Don't you worry about me" I said, throwing my arms around her "Take care of your health, ok?"

"You don't have to leave so early. He's gone to wherever he's going these days. He won't be back for a long time"

"Amma's waiting for me Ammamma" I lied easily and gave her a big kiss on the cheek "I love you so much"

"You will come see me again, won't you?" she asked, staring at me with a skeptical look.

"Of course. As early as I can" I replied, feeling the huge smile on her face prick my heart as I walked out of her room.

It's not truth but it's not a lie either.

"Going somewhere?" Vineet commented as I closed Ammamma's door behind me "What's with all that drama"

"Nothing" I replied impassively.

"Heard my brother's gotten sick of you finally" he said with a snicker.

"If you say so"

He raised an eyebrow "Isn't it true that he's got a new girlfriend?"

Seeing me glance at Ammamma's door, he added "She doesn't know. Yet"

Ammamma is smarter than us, kids. She definitely has an idea though she doesn't exactly know what.

"So?" he said with a questioning expression.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked blankly.

"His girlfriend?"

"Yeah, he has one. So does half of my classmates. What's the issue here?"

"Doesn't that make you sad?"

"If I said yes, will that make you happy?"

"Very" he said, chagrined.

"Fine, I am sad. No, actually I'm miserable" I said, walking away from him.

A moment later, I retreated with determination "On a second note, I want to know one thing. I was always curious"

"What?" he said, looking aloof.

"Why do you hate me?"

He didn't pretend to look surprised. Just faced me with a scowl that did nothing to hide his feelings "Why would I not?"

"What did I do to you?"

"Isn't being you just enough?"

"I don't ever remember hurting you or your feelings. You are much older than me and we never really talked much"

"And yet you are the reason we stayed in this godawful city. You are the reason my brother stopped turning up to his older brother because he found a new best friend. You are the reason I had to live away from my parents"

"What are you talking about?" I cried out, feeling lost.

"We should have left when dad got transferred but that idiot didn't want to part with you. He cried, and threatened my parents to run back here. Nothing they said could change him. Eventually my parents had to leave us with our grandparents so my dumbass brother can play with his best friend"

"I thought it's because of thathayya's health condition"

He snorted "As if there aren't any hospitals elsewhere"

"I didn't know any of this. I swear"

He laughed bitterly "As if that makes any difference"

"I am sorry" I said. I don't know what else to say. "I had no idea"

"Well, karma is a bitch. Isn't it?" He said, looking smug "You now know what's it like to be cast aside when something better comes along"

Despite making a vow to not cry today, my eyes watered. He just knew where to hit me; where it pains the most.

I turned around to wipe my eyes quickly before facing him back with a stubborn look "Unlike you, I don't carry a childish grudge or blame anyone for what happened"

"Damn!" he said with a stunned look on his face "You are crying"

I snorted. As-if.

"This is serious, isn't it?" he said, suddenly looking worried "He really left you for another girl"

"Isn't that what you already said?" I mocked.

"I didn't know it's so serious" he said, looking into my eyes "I thought he and you----nevermind"

"Are you alright?" he asked with a concerned look.

I nodded, surprised by his compassion. How did he go from hating to worrying about me?

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

"Why are you being nice to me?" I said instead, a little rudely.

"I may not like you but I do care about my brother and you are his bestfriend"

"Was" I corrected as my eyes burned again. Dammit!

He narrowed his eyes "What happened ?"

"Exactly what you said" I said, biting my lower lip to stop the incoming waterworks.

"Perhaps you should sit"

"I am perfectly fine" I countered irately.

"Anju...." he said with a patronizing look, one that made him look very much like his brother "Come and sit here"

I wanted to hit back with a rude comment but my vision blurred and I started to feel dizzy so I took up his idea and settled on the sofa. He brought a glass of water and perched beside me.

"Who's this girl?"

I took a gulp of water and blankly said "You should ask your brother"

"Why don't you tell me yourself"

"I can't" I croaked, losing the battle to keep my tears under control "I should go"

"Don't" he said, holding my elbow to prevent me from leaving.

"Why do you care anyway?" I wailed with indignation.

"I care about you, ok?" he screamed with displeasure "I have known you for more than a decade. As much as I hate to admit it, you are the best thing that's ever happened to him"

I scoffed; as tears flowed freely onto my cheeks.

First, he blames me and then confesses to care about me? He sure has a funny way of expressing gratitude.

"You are" he repeated, stiffly.

"Well, I am no longer the best thing then" I whispered grievously.

"What happened Anju?" he said, looking antsy.

"No message. No phone call" I mumbled quietly losing the will to fight back.

"Since when?"

"Four weeks" I replied glumly

"That long?"

I nodded as more tears ran down my cheeks "Who'd have thought that, huh?"

"How are you feeling?" he said, glancing at me with a bothered look "Really"

"Like I can't breathe" I said, the agony of the last few weeks catching up to me.

"I feel so lost. Without him" I broke down, sobbing into his arms as they wrapped around me..

"My brother's a fool" he mumbled, patting my head gently.

When did we go from hating each other to this!

The embarrassment of weeping in front of Vineet didn't take long to catch up. As soon as I left their house, I drove straight up to my favorite spot.

My emotions are all over the place and I need to sort them before my parents find me in tears again.

Finding Vamsi's bullet made me quickly do a U-turn but not before I saw Vamsi and Nisha sitting in our usual spot.

He ignored my messages. He abandoned me. Why does he have to go this far and take this spot away from me too?

This was our place; something I didn't even share with Neha. Anger and pain pierced my heart at the feeling of his betrayal.

I can understand why he's keeping away even if I don't know the exact reasons but this, I can't.

Feeling helpless, I drove away with a heavy heart and without a second glance.

I went home, rechecked the weight of my lugagge, booked a cab, had dinner, traveled to airport, hugged Amma, Nanna & Neha and walked into the airport; away from my parents, from Neha and from the city that's been a huge part of my life.

Through everything, I maintained a stoic face.

I have no idea how I managed to not weep at seeing the tears in Amma and Neha's eyes. I have no idea how I managed to get the boarding pass and ascend the flight without passing out in between.

I have no idea how I kept my tears under bay until the plane lifted off ground and flew into the dark night of Visakhapatnam.

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Thank you for reading. Vote, Comment and Share if you like this chapter.

The worst is over! The next updates will be bits & pieces of Anju in US so you are not completely clueless of her life there.

I hope Anju's pain doesn't seem far-fetched or dramatic when you're reading it. I have never been in love so I may be wrong about everything. 

But I've trouble forgetting people who meant something at one point (friends/relatives) even if they hurt me deliberately (I can't forgive. I can't forget. Such a cliche, I know!)

So Anju being unable to move on from her first love/best friend seems normal to me. 

I know that some are of the opinion that 3 years is a long time to get over him but remember grief & heartbreak doesn't work the same way for everyone.

Anyway, Selena's new album 'RARE' is out. Have you listened? I just started streaming now. Hope for the best.

Next Wednesday falls on Sankranthi. If I go to my village as I do every year, I cannot update that day. Instead, I will be here the day after that i.e., Thursday.

Have fun til then :p

- JANAKI