They all came in and the driver started driving, the whole ride home was silent. When we got home I waited until they were all out before walking inside.

"There you Arya, I'm glad you got something," Recee said looking at my bag."Let's all eat dinner now."

"I'm not hungry," I replied quietly.

"Arya you haven't eaten a proper meal since you got here two and a half days ago, that's not healthy," Zuri said looking at me. "Please try eating something,"

It dawned upon me I hadn't been eating properly since mom died and for the last few days I substituted food with water. That's why I passed out, I just didn't have an appetite.

"Why aren't you eating, why can't you do anything right?" Recee yelled at me. 

"Why are you yelling at me? I am trying, I am fucking trying so hard, believe it or not, I can't strut around acting like everything is fine. I just can't. I'm sorry that I'm not good enough for you all but just a few days ago when I was an only child named Arya Jones, I was plenty good enough." My eyes were glossy but everything I said felt distant as if it wasn't real. I still couldn't believe it was my reality.

I ran up the stairs and into my room locking the door and called my mom's number just to hear her voice message, just to hear her voice again. My mom's voicemail was her singing, my mom was a singer most of her gigs were on the radio but just in case she missed a call from someone important her voicemail was her audition.

"Mom," I sobbed I missed her so much life was awful without her. Her voice was pure and kind like her spirit. I heard the beep so a message could be left. "Mom, come back." I wanted to scream at the top of my chest. I hadn't done that in the hospital, neither had I done it when I left the house because I knew it wouldn't bring her back. I knew no amount of crying would bring her back but I couldn't accept it, my life was different now. After a while, I lay on my back staring into space. "She would want me to eat," I muttered to myself.

I waited a while until I was okay and my eyes weren't red and went downstairs. I saw they were all in the living room. The living room and dining room were connected into a large room. I went into the kitchen and saw the maid inside. "Hello love, what would you like?"

"Do you have instant noodles?" I asked and she nodded and took them out and started preparing the pot for me.

"I can do it," I said to her.

"No, I will do it okay," She smiled, "Go wait in the dining room, it'll be just a minute." I walked to the fridge and took out a bottle of water and started drinking it before sitting down on the dining room table.

"Thank you," I said quietly as she put the noodles in front of me.

I began eating and after a bite, I already felt sick what was wrong with me I honestly couldn't stomach anything. I instantly began coughing so I ran to the kitchen luckily for me I didn't throw up. "I can't eat it," I sighed, I didn't want to go there again not being able to eat not wanting to or throwing it up but I knew this was deeper than I was admitting.

"Eat because you want to not because you have to," The maid said before taking my hand. "Come with me sweetheart," She sat down with me smiling at me. "Should I feed you?"

That made me laugh the way she had just asked me so suddenly as if it was normal. "No thank you," I replied before eating some more.

"You went through a phase of throwing noodles at people at the age of 1 and a bit. They were your favourite but something about throwing them bought you pure happiness." She said speaking to me.

"I must have thrown a few at you, I'm sorry," I laughed slightly before continuing to eat.

"It's okay, luckily they were always cold by the time you were throwing them." She smiled.

"I was given hot noodles?" I asked jokingly before taking a bite.

"No, of course, not they were warm," she replied now it was her time to laugh. "You never grew out of your cuteness," she said pinching my cheeks.

I knew if anyone else were to do this I would throw a fit, "Thank you, nanny," I said without thinking I assumed that she was my nanny since she recalls things from so long ago, and she looked at me surprised.

"Oh my word, I never expected I would get to hear those words from you, Arya," She smiled at me. "Oh and look at that you finished,"

"Thank you," I said looking at the empty small pot.

"It's not like I fed you," She chuckled before taking my pot with her.

She's amazing I thought in my head making me smile. I stood up and began heading to my room. "Arya," Recee called me and I turned around. "Have a seat," I looked at my options next to Andrew, Lucas or Zuri. I choose Zuri without hesitation she wasn't going to snap at me.

"We have decided to let you start school in a week," He said looking at me.

I simply nodded, I needed that.

"Your brothers aren't going to school either I think you should all bond while I and Zuri are at work." He said and I nodded I don't want to argue with anyone. "I'm sorry for yelling at you," He said awkwardly guess he didn't apologize often once again I just nodded.

"Do you feel better?" Kyle asked me so this is what this was about empty apologises.

"Save it," I sighed. I didn't need fake concern

"We are having a party on Saturday to welcome you home, you will meet the family and business family, anyone, you want here?" Reece asked me with a small smile.

I contained my excitement "Aline and Aunty Maye."

"Anyone else," Kyle said expecting more. 

"Tallie and Tami and their families if they want to come," I said confused.

"Your circle was small," Xavier commented as if I needed thousands of friends.

I shrugged, "They were all I needed."

Recce then stretched the back of his neck, "About my card,"

"I have money," I said bluntly. I knew it had all been too good to be true,

"We aren't strangers, we are family." Recee said staring at me, "You are a part of this family."

I cupped my hands together. "No, I'm not I don't want to be a family," 

"Arya Heart," Recee said looking at me surprised.

"Jones," I replied before getting up and walking towards my room.

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I was seeing the lorry hit my mom's car, she lost control before it lit on fire. The fire was so hot and vicious as if I was there. Seeing the ambulance and fire brigade come after strangers had helped get her out of the car. Their relief as they took her away thinking it was a victory.

The doctors rushed her into the surgery alone without anyone to hold her hand. She was fighting for her life. This time I was there I was yelling for her to hold on and not give up but I was a ghost no one could see or hear me and like that the last time I saw her was unconscious and not breathing. Her body revealed all her features but she was cold she didn't have the warmth my mother had. She was dead and I was too late.

"Arya!" My eyes shot open I was visibly shaking everyone was in my room. I was sweating, my breathing was rigid tears were threatening to fall my face. I just needed to breath

"Nanny," I muttered while ignoring the scared and shocked faces around me. I didn't want them to see me like this, it was too much. 

Seconds after I said her name, she came in with a cold towel and dabbed my forehead with it. I unlocked my last draw and took out my medication for anxiety my doctor had subscribed to it right before I left. I hadn't used it yet as it was for anxiety and I had been doing alright for over a year.

"Can I have water please, "I whispered to her my voice dry, and my throat ached I had been screaming.

"Listen Arya I'm going to call a doctor to see you later okay," Zuri said to me and I nodded too tired to argue.

"Are you okay?" Andrew asked in a quiet voice almost as though he was scared what had I done?

"Fuck off, everyone fuck off," I said blankly. Everyone was smothering me I hated it I was being treated like a broken little bird.

"My bad for giving a shit," Andrew yelled before leaving and the rest of my brothers followed him except Fabian and Lucas.

Nanny came in with the water and I immediately downed the tablets. "What are they?" Lucas asked worriedly.

"I said fuck off didn't I?" I said agitated. They gave each other a look before leaving.

"Are you sure you are okay?" Zuri asked and I nodded and she and Recce left I'm assuming they went to call the doctor.

"Goodnight love," Zuri said before herRecce left.

I lay back in bed and felt alone. When I used to have nightmares I would cuddle with my mom. It didn't matter how old I was. Especially last year was when the terrors started so sometimes she would just stay with me.

I felt crazy insane, I couldn't believe what I was going to do. I stood up and got out of my room, pillow in hand and knocked on the door in front of praying I had remembered correctly and it was Lucas' room. 

"Come in," I was relieved it was Lucas.

"Are you still mad at me?"I asked him after closing the door behind me.

"Yes," He replied to me, "But it can be resolved with you staying here tonight strangers don't have sleep-overs,"

I smiled at him I was the one who was meant to be asking to stay the night I even had my pillow with me, he had made everything so much easier for me. I threw the pillow next to his on the bed and climbed into bed with him.

"Guess I'm your favourite," He said happily. "Anything you need just tell me."

"Is that a question or a statement?" I asked him and he laughed at me before throwing his arm over me. "What are you doing?" 

"Cuddling you, I'm not letting go, this is how I sleep at sleepovers with my sister," He said smiling.

I'm his sister I knew that I was but saying it out loud made me feel warm inside and I couldn't hide my smile so I closed my eyes and slept peacefully. I woke up to hushing and clicking. I opened my eyes tiredly to see all my brothers taking photos.

"Go back to sleep, you were cute," Kyle said which surprised me.

"Lucas," I whispered trying to wake him up and the others laughed.

"It will take a lot to wake him up," Xaver said.

"Will it? Let me try, "They all snickered as if it was an impossible task." shut up." Surprisingly they listened. "Lucas wake up, I'm hungry,"

"You want me to eat with you?"He asked slowly sitting up and all the boys looked amazed.

"You, how?" Andrew asked. "No pots and pans, no yelling?"

"Don't you see all this time he was just ignoring us," Kyle huffed making me laugh he looked like a child.

"As if I'm ignoring my cute little sister," He said hugging me tightly.

"You are so touchy," I complained but didn't pull away.

"Do you feel better?" Fabian asked and I nodded. "Good, she's coming in an hour."

"She, I have a female doctor, thank goodness," I breathed a sigh of relief.

Lucas unlocked his phone and showed me pictures of us sleeping I watched him make it his lock screen. "Not strangers anymore, thanks Fabian for the pictures." He hummed.

I got out of bed and opened his wardrobe. "If you insist on that, I'm taking this," I said taking a graphic hoodie.

"Take it just take anything you want anytime, just give it back," Lucas smiled.

"You never let me take anything," Andrew complained I held in a laugh and left the room to shower.

"She's cute," I heard Lucas say as soon as I left the room.

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Thank you for reading, please vote and comment your opinions -Lbxx