The Roast of Callie
(Callie's time to shine for a roasting session.)
Anato: But now, Callie spends an average of 6 hours a day at school. Of course for 2 hours and 54 minutes of that, she's trying to figure out her cheerleader movements.
(People chuckle at that joke.)
Anato: Seriously, Callie collects so much flexibility, she's gonna be on an upcoming episode of Hoarders. She stacks up ad keywords like they're back issues of National Geographic!
(Callie holds her head, laughing.)
Anato: But hey, Your stuff could be worse. Look at Wattpad! It's more desperate to make money than a YouTube user.
(Maya spits out her drink as she giggles.)
Rebecca: Guys. Somebody call a janitor. A 14 year old girl puked all over the stage... Oh I'm sorry. That's just Wattpad Admins.
(Everyone continued to laugh.
Rebecca: Wattpad, what a f***ing disaster! The space between Alexander and the Reynold's Pamphlet gets more hits than you.
Admin: Alright let's remember who we're roasting here.. Heh..
Rebecca: Callie, you know how I know the zombie apocalypse was a lie? It made Nick's personality interesting. That guy really puts the a** in A**hole! Wattpad's Terms of service could be a more dynamic leader!
(Everyone continues to laugh.)
Rebecca: Moving on, the mayor of nobody gives a f*** anymore: Maya! But seriously Admins, you look like s***!
(Maya comes up to the podium.)
Maya: Hey. I thought that lady had a character limit.
(She points to Callie, smirking.)
Maya: Callie Hansen, you ruthless motherf***er! You screwed over more bad boy bikers than the Wednesday night line up at the Hustler club.
(She points back, smiling in greed.)
Maya: But who am I to judge? You're huge! The only thing more popular than your cheerleading skills is Wattpad's 'Delete Account' button. Oh Wattpad, thank god for Cringy kids, cause without them, you'd just be a failed website.
Admin: And now for my jokes.. For Callie.. Ahem. Some scientists say that her anger causes backlashes. No wonder why she feels blue sometimes..
(Awkward silence.)
Admins: Jilly here thinks you're not technically confident enough to be trusted.. Is.. Isn't that something? Heh...
Thatgirlgammer100 : Don't you use Wattpad Connection now?
Admin: I don't want to talk about it.
(The feedback hits from the microphone.)
Admins: H-hey. Remember when Maya's best friend Table leaked all of her screenshooted info...? What are you, a website...? Or the titanic? Cause of the leak..
(People began to boo at them.)
Mary: Down vote!
Admin: Aw come on. Hey Jess, you know what I'm talking about, right?
JessTheAlpha : Hey, I'm just working tonight man.
(Later)
Emerald: And that is my 231st joke about Voting, so.. Hey, hey. Where are you guys going? I got so many more of these.
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