Maren was having a very pleasant, very normal day—or at least whatever normal meant when you lived in the palace pretending to be the Crown Prince's mistress. She had a quiet breakfast in her rooms and then took Snowdrop out for a ride. She ate lunch in the fields with her, rolls and cheese for Maren, and apples for them both.  Then, in the afternoon, she spent some time helping in the nursery. She was walking back to her rooms to change for dinner (there had been an incident in the nursery involving paint) and would be having what should be a pleasant and uneventful dinner with the Prince and Alec.

"Best birthday ever," she remarked quietly to herself.

And she meant it. Every year her parents insisted on having a "normal" celebration for her, and she went along with it because she loved them, but would have rather spent the day doing anything else.

It wasn't that she didn't like birthdays, she just didn't like hers. It never felt like something to celebrate.

But in the palace, no one even knew it was her birthday. Not a single person had wished her a happy birthday. There would be no cake, no party, and no birthday celebration whatsoever. It was perfect.

When she arrived at her rooms, she found a note on her door. It was from the Prince.

Lady Maren,

As the weather is fine, Alec and I decided to take dinner on the South Terrace. Please join us at your earliest convenience.

Donovan

Maren changed into a gown for dinner, choosing a dark blue silk gown with a long full skirt and short sleeves. She paused to look in the mirror and tuck a few stray hairs back in place. She touched her grandmother's gold necklace that lay on her chest above the top of her dress, as she often did, and set off for the South Terrace.

The South Terrace overlooked the gardens and was a lovely place to have dinner. You could see most of the gardens and into the surrounding woods, and there was almost always a pleasant breeze. Maren was quite pleased with the turn of events and nodded politely to the servant who opened the large glass door for her.

When she first stepped onto the terrace, she saw no sign of Alec or the Prince or dinner. Then she turned to her right and -

"SURPRISE!"

Maren jumped and had to actively resist firing the Light from her hands.

"Oh!" she exclaimed instead.

At least a quarter of the Court had assembled on the terrace. All the ladies and the young men, and even the King and Queen. Prince Donovan was at the front of the crowd and began walking towards her.

"Happy Birthday!" he said, grinning broadly. He took her hands and kissed her cheek in greeting.

"Thank you!" Maren said as much exuberance as she could muster. "This is...this is..."

"And I'm sure you thought no one knew it was your birthday!" the Prince teased.

"I certainly did!" Maren replied, trying to match his enthusiasm.

Maren looked around. A small band of musicians had begun playing, and servants were walking through the crowd with trays of refreshments and sparkling wine. Fortunately, almost everyone had begun chatting among themselves.

"Come, let's say hello to everyone," Prince Donovan said, offering her his arm.

First, they had to pay their respects to the King and Queen, of course. Maren curtsied to them, but was surprised when the Queen took her hands and kissed her on both cheeks in greeting.

"A very happy birthday to you, my dear," she said with a smile.

"Yes! Happy Birthday!" the King echoed in his booming voice.

"Thank you, Your Majesties," Maren said.

"And were you really surprised?" the Queen asked.

"Oh yes," Maren answered, "I was very surprised." She glanced pointedly at the Prince, who went pale at her words.

He excused them from the King and Queen and drew her to the side of the terrace, apart from the crowd.

"I am so sorry," he whispered in her ear.

"It's all right," she said. "It's just terribly lucky that I've been practicing, so I didn't blow everyone to bits."

He grimaced. "I wasn't thinking, I should have warned you."

She smiled at him. "Yes, you should have. But nothing happened, and it was terribly kind of you to do this for me."

He returned her smile. "If you say so."

"Shall we, my lady?" he asked, gesturing to the party.

She smiled. "As you like, Your Highness."

It was a very nice party and under other circumstances, she probably would have thoroughly enjoyed it. She chatted with the Tea Ladies and the Prince's friends and the other Court members she knew. And Prince Kieran, out of town on some Tracker business, was not there to ruin anything.

However, she was relieved when Alec brought her a glass of sparkling wine, and she was able to step away from talking to some ladies.

"How much are you hating this?" he asked with a smile.

She grinned back at him, "So very much."

He laughed and so did she. "I would have warned you if I had had the chance," he said. "But I didn't find out until just before you arrived.

"Because Prince Donovan knew you couldn't keep a secret?" she asked.

"Because Prince Donovan knew I couldn't keep a secret," he confirmed.

"It was very kind of him," she said. 

"It's just not what you would've chosen," Alec said.

She laughed. "Not at all."

"Well, chin up," he said. "It's almost over!"

She glanced at the Prince across the terrace, and he happened to be looking toward her. He smiled, and she couldn't help but smile back. He looked terribly happy. She was touched that he had gone to all the trouble, even if she'd rather do almost anything than celebrate her birthday.

The Prince walked through the crowd towards her. He put his arm around her and whispered in her ear, "Would you murder me in my sleep if I gave a toast?"

She laughed. "That will depend on what you say," she whispered back.

He narrowed his eyes at her, thinking. "I think I'll risk it," he said with a smile.

He grabbed a knife from a passing server and tapped it on the side of his wine glass.

Clink clink clink.

He waited until he had the crowd's attention.

"My lords and ladies, Your Majesties —" he bowed in the direction of the King and Queen "— I would like to thank you all for coming tonight to celebrate Lady Maren's birthday. Even more, I would like to thank you for not telling Lord Alec about it so that he couldn't ruin the surprise."

Everyone, including Alec, laughed.

"Sometimes it's hard to imagine that Lady Maren has only been here for seven months because she has become such an important fixture at Court. Hardly a day goes by when she isn't helping in the nursery, the stables, or the library. Her kindness and generosity of spirit have been inspirational to me. So, Lady Maren," he turned to her, "may all your birthdays bring you the same joy that you have given us. Cheers!"

He touched his glass to hers and they both drank along with the crowd. He looked down at her and said, "Happy birthday," with a smile.

Maren felt her pulse quicken when the Prince looked at her.

"Thank you," she said, and actually meant it that time.

When the party wound down a short time later, the Prince asked Maren if she wanted to go. She nodded and they bid the straggling guests farewell.

They walked back to his apartment in companionable silence. Once inside, he parted from her but held on to her hand.

"Did you have a nice time?" he asked.

"It was very lovely," she said.

He looked at her with some suspicion.

"But?" he asked.

"No, really, it was such a nice party," she insisted.

"But?" he asked again.

She looked away and then back at him, she wasn't sure she wanted to tell him, but she also didn't think he'd let the matter go.

"I hate celebrating my birthday," she admitted.

He looked puzzled for a moment and then horrified as he realized why.

"I didn't think—gods, Maren, I'm so sorry," he said.  "I should have known. Please," he said, taking her hand, "forgive me."

"Really, I'm so thankful you did all of that -" she gestured in the direction of the party "-for me, it was so kind, and it's not as if you knew I didn't like to celebrate my birthday."

"I should have guessed, though. I just... I wanted to do something special for you," he said.

"And you did," she said. "It's just...my birthday brings up some...difficult memories."

"Turning thirteen?" he asked.

She tilted her head to the side, "That ...and, ah... Karlyn...she died on my birthday."

"Gods, I am so sorry," he said. He seemed genuinely heartbroken.

"It's all right, it was a long time ago," she said.

"Would you like to talk about it?" he asked.

She waved him off, "Oh, that's all right, it's getting late, and I don't want to keep you."

He gave her a crooked half-smile and said, "I didn't ask if you thought I wanted to hear, which for the record I would be more than happy to hear the whole story. I asked if you wanted to tell me."

She thought for a moment. She could certainly stay up most of the night thinking of Karlyn, but she could not deny the appeal of sharing the story with her friend.

"All right, I think I do," she said.

They went into his sitting room and, accompanied by the traditional glass of brandy, Maren began.

"You remember the arrangement Karlyn had worked out with my father? Where I could come back to stay if I wanted to when I turned eighteen?" she asked.

The Prince nodded.

"Well, a week or so before my eighteenth birthday, I announced my decision to my parents. I can't say they were pleased, but I also can't say they were surprised I wanted to go live with Karlyn. I knew they loved me, of course, but I was acutely aware that there was this massive part of myself that they could never understand or even see properly. They have always wanted to pretend I was 'normal' and I didn't want to live that way.

"So, I spent the next few days gathering supplies and the like, and then left. It was the second time I thought I was leaving home for the last time, but I was certain that really would be the very last time."

—

Maren timed things, so she would arrive at Karlyn's cabin on her birthday. She was so happy to be leaving the rest of the world behind her that it felt like she almost flew up the mountains.

But when she arrived in the clearing where Karlyn's cabin was, Maren instantly knew something was wrong. Despite the chill of the late spring in the mountains, no smoke rose from the chimney. The garden was also overgrown in a way Maren knew Karlyn would never allow. And the chickens, of whom there were usually at least one or two in residence in the clearing in front of the house, were nowhere in sight.

"Karlyn?" Maren called, suddenly terrified.

There was no answer.

Maren tied her horse to a tree and rushed inside the cabin.

"Karlyn?" she called again, very alarmed. It was chilly in the cabin.

"Oh, my dear, I'm so glad you've come," Karlyn said from the bed. Her voice sounded so unlike her. It was frail and wavering, as though it was difficult to speak.

Maren rushed to her. "Karlyn, what's happened? What's wrong? What can I do?"

Karlyn smiled slowly. She looked awful. Her face was sunken, as though she had lost a great deal of weight.

"Breathe, girl. Nothing's wrong, dear, it's just my time to go back to the Light," Karlyn breathed.

Maren clutched Karlyn's hand. It was very cold, and it appeared all the flesh had melted from it.

"No, no," Maren insisted, tears forming in her eyes. "You can't, please, I'll heal you! Just tell me what's wrong."

"Oh, my Maren, always looking for a problem to solve," Karlyn said with a smile. It broke Maren's heart to hear her sound so weak.

"This isn't something you can heal, love," Karyn insisted.

"Please don't leave me," Maren begged, openly weeping over Karlyn.

Karlyn smiled, "I will always be with you, my dear. I will be part of the Light inside of you."

For a while, Maren just cried and held Karlyn's hand. Then, desperate for something useful to do, Maren began tidying up. She got water even though Karlyn said she didn't want any. She lit a fire, even though Karlyn said she wasn't cold. She was about to tackle the garden when Karlyn asked her for her.

"Yes, Karlyn, what do you need?" Maren asked.

"Just to talk to you, dear. Sit beside me for a bit," she whispered.

"Maren, dear, you must make a choice. I know you wanted to stay here with me, but I think perhaps eighteen is too young to commit to life up here. I leave the decision to you, though. But when you have made that decision, and if you decide to stay here, there is a letter for you in my desk," Karlyn whispered. She seemed exhausted by the effort.

"Promise me you won't open it until you're sure you want to stay," Karlyn said.

Maren nodded, throat too choked with grief to speak. 

"Good girl," Karlyn said and then closed her eyes, relaxing on her pillow as though she had completed some great work.

Instinctively, Maren knew Karlyn had very little time left and that she needed to say whatever it was she wanted Karlyn to know.

"I will miss you so much," Maren cried. "Thank you for being there for me. I love you."

Karlyn smiled and said, "Love...you." It was almost too quiet to hear.

Maren sat holding Karlyn's hand for a long time. She watched, silently crying, as Karlyn's breath became slower and slower and finally stopped.

For a moment, Maren felt like her own breath had stopped, but it kept going anyway. She supposed she must still be living, but it didn't feel that way. It felt as though her entire world had been shattered, and in a way it was.

Maren stayed sitting beside Karlyn, long after her soul had gone, still holding her hand. She knew what needed to be done, what Karlyn would have wanted to be done, but couldn't quite bring herself to do it. Not yet, at least.

Eventually, she covered Karlyn's face with a blanket. Sickly and sunken wasn't how she wanted to remember this dear woman. She tried to think of Karlyn as she first saw her, full of life and love.

Maren held out her hand and willed the Light to take the shape of Karlyn. When she was finished, a bust of the women floated in the air. Seeing Karlyn's face as she wanted to remember it gave her some comfort and even after it faded into the air, Maren felt that it bolstered her.

She heard Karlyn's voice in her memory, "Well, girl, what are you waiting for?"

Maren sighed and rose. She would take care of Karlyn and then decide what to do.

Carefully, she lifted Karlyn off the bed, still wrapped in the blanket. She was lighter than Maren had thought she would be. Maren knew it was because Karlyn had wasted away as she was dying, but liked to think it was because Karlyn's weighty soul had departed.

She carried Karlyn out of the cabin and into the clearing in front of it. Maren gently laid her down in the spot she knew Karlyn liked best. She liked to sit on the small bench she had made and look at her garden and the sun setting over the surrounding mountains.

Maren hoped that wherever Karlyn was, she could see the sunsets.

Maren sniffed and crouched beside Karlyn, she held out her hand. It trembled slightly as she drew the Light from within her, allowing it to form a glowing orb.

"Goodbye, Karlyn," she whispered and directed the Light into the place where her beloved teacher had been.

She watched long enough to make sure the Light overtook Karlyn's body, and then stood and turned, watching the sunset with Karlyn for the very last time.

In the morning, Maren had made her decision. Part of her wanted so badly to stay in the cabin where she could live in Karlyn's shadow, but she knew that was not the life Karlyn would have wanted for her. And more of her wanted to go home.

She would have given anything for just one more minute with Karlyn. But as that wasn't an option, what did she want? This time she knew the answer. She wanted to be with her parents, to be with the only two people who loved her for whatever time they had together.

So, Maren closed up the cabin as best she could and left Karlyn's letter sealed in her desk. She would come back, but not for a very long time.

—

"So I went back home," Lady Maren said, finishing her story.

Donovan was heartbroken for her. "I am so sorry," he told her.

She smiled sadly and said, "It's all right. It was a long time ago."

But he saw the tears pooling in her eyes.

He handed her a handkerchief and she daintily wiped her eyes. She sniffed and for a moment, he thought she would be all right, but then she burst into tears, sobs wracking her body. 

Without thinking, he moved to sit beside her and put his hand gently on her back. He felt compelled to comfort her and when she cried harder still, he did not question or fight the urge to pull her to him. Her face was pressed to his chest and he held her close.

"Is this all right?" he asked her, realizing he was treading on shaky ground regarding his oath. "You can slap me if you like," he offered.

She laughed, the sort of laugh people make when they're still crying, but he felt her nod against him.

They stayed like that for a long time. Donovan expected his shirt was thoroughly soaked from her tears, but he didn't mind. He was moved by the depth of feeling she had for her lost teacher. He wondered, in an abstract sort of way, if he had anyone in his life who he would weep for with such heartfelt grief. And, if there was anyone who would weep that way for him. He wasn't sure he had either, but he thought it a lofty goal and the sign of a life well lived.

Eventually, her sobs eased, and she laid her head quietly against him, only snuffling and hiccuping occasionally. He still held her, knowing she would pull away when she was ready. He felt very calm, as though comforting her had been a balm to his own soul.

At some point, he noticed she was asleep. He couldn't see her eyes, but could tell by her rhythmic breathing and her stillness. He stayed there for a moment, not wanting to disturb her. It was nice to see her so at peace after so much turmoil.

He knew he needed to get up, though. Very, very gently, he eased her up and slid out from under her, and laid her back down on the couch.

He couldn't help but just look at her lying there, and his heart swelled with affection for this entirely unexpected, but very welcome, friend. Now that he knew her, she amazed him. Had he ever hated and feared her? It seemed like a different life. He wished he had seen her for who she was from the beginning. Her spirit was so beautiful. Really, everything about her was so beautiful. Had he never seen that before?

Suddenly, Donovan realized he had perhaps been staring at her too long. He got a blanket and draped it over her and went to find his own bed.

—

Maren woke up sometime in the middle of the night. At first, she didn't remember where she was or how she had gotten there, and then it all came rushing back.

She groaned, mortified. She had completely lost all control of her emotions and sobbed on top of the Prince for what had seemed like hours — she had likely completely ruined his shirt. And if that weren't embarrassing enough, she had then fallen asleep. She was grateful he had gotten her a blanket, but more horrified that it had been necessary.

She rose and folded the blanket, setting it back where she had been lying on the couch, and left for her own rooms.

In the morning, she had hoped some of her embarrassment would have eased, but by the light of day, it felt even worse.

She got dressed quickly, downed two cups of coffee, and went to see the Prince. She didn't usually breakfast with him, but occasionally, their paths would cross in the morning, and she knew he'd be in the dining room.

She took a deep breath and then went into the room, staying close to the entrance as though she were using the table between the Prince and her for protection.

"Oh, good morning!" the Prince said brightly.

She forced a smile. "Morning, I...ah... I'm terribly sorry about last night... I must say, I'm rather embarrassed about my behavior. I blame the sparkling wine and well... I'm terribly sorry, it...ah...it won't happen again."

He looked at her blankly. Gods, she was rambling like a mad woman.

"Right, well, I'll see you later," she said and turned to leave.

"Wait! Don't go..." he said, getting up from the table and coming to stand with her in the hall. "I just have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. I don't recall anything embarrassing!"

Maren blushed. "Oh...just the bit where I cried hysterically for what must have been at least half an hour and then fell asleep on your sofa?"

"That's what you're embarrassed about?" he asked.

He took her hands in his.

"Maren, you wept for someone you loved dearly who is gone, whyever would that be embarrassing?" he asked.

"Ah... I suppose when you put it that way, it isn't," she said.

He smiled and squeezed her hands before letting them go. "Thank you for telling me about Karlyn."

She smiled, "Oh...well, thank you for listening."

"Oh! I nearly forgot," he said, and pulled a small box out of his jacket pocket and handed it to her. "Your birthday present."

"Oh, you didn't need to do that!"

"Well, open it first and then decide," he said with a smile.

She did and then laughed. It was a watch.

"Is this a commentary on my punctuality?" she asked.

She did tend to lose track of time while riding and was occasionally—or frequently—a bit late to meet him.

"No, it's a tool to assist you should you lose track of time...that I hope you will wear while riding so the rest of us are not obliged to track you down," he said with a smile.

It was a beautiful piece with a narrow rectangular face just wider than the leather band. The bezel of the face was gold, and it offset the pearly white inside set with black numbers very nicely. She could tell he intended her to wear it while riding—or knew she likely would in any case because of the leather band, which was slightly less fashionable but far more practical than the varieties with bracelet-like bands.

"Thank you so much, it's really lovely," she said.

"You're very welcome. Look at the end of the crown, though," he said. He sounded very excited.

She did, and saw on the top of the small knob used to set the watch that there was a tiny horse.

"My goodness! That's really something," she said.

"I love it, thank you."

He just smiled and then took the watch out of the box.

She offered her wrist to him, and he fastened the watch around it. She suddenly felt shy, uncertain how to properly thank him or what to do next. Fortunately, the Prince had a suggestion.

"Would you like to join me?" he asked, gesturing to the table.

"I'd love to, thank you."