Shaniqua Hardcock arrived at Hogwarts with her brothers Bob and Dave. Dave was her Twin also aged 16 and Bob was a year older. They were led straight to the headmasters office by a tall hairy giant "Hey Hairy dude, why aren't we at Bayside high?" Dave asked Hagrid.

"Well, yer a bit different than other kids yer age." He replied. Shaniqua took offence to this, she didn't like being called different, "I'm the shhhhh be quiet! I be on the low hater diet!" Shaniqua sang.

"Tell me, have you ever made anything strange happen? When your scared or angry?" Hagrid asked Shaniqua with a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"I kissed a girl and I liked it!" She pouted, "errrr right... I think we'll just get you to the headmaster." Hagrid blushed rather uncomfortably.

"Sherbet lemons!" Hagrid spoke once they arrived outside the Headmasters office.
They were invited inside almost immediately, "ahh you must be the Hardcocks!" Dumbledore beamed, "please come in! Take a seat and make yourselves at home."

Bob caught the eye of an old woman with a witches hat on, she had a sour face but politely nodded at him, "Why aren't we at Bayside?" Bob asked the headmaster with frustration.
"Well you know that your father is a wizard...." The old man spoke.
"Hell naw, mom said he was a G. He's dead as fuck now." Dave scoffed with his arms folded across his chest. "Exactly!" Bob insisted.

Dumbledore knew he had his work cut out for him, "your mother has sent you here due to the fact you are half bloods and she can no longer look after you. She said in her letter that she was very busy 'doing her thang for real' you see."

"She be in the club sipping on Gin and Juice!" Shaniqua sang to a nodding Dave.
"Well, we need to sort you into your houses, Miss Hardcock could you step forward."
McGonagall placed a dirty old hat on her head when Bob Intervened. "Don't be putting that dirty old hat on her head, bitch. That shit is nasty as fuck." He scowled, McGonagall's mouth hang agape in shock at what she had just heard.

"It's the only way..." She hissed and the hat began to speak. "Well what do we have here..." It began, "I'm a barbie girl! In a barbie world!" Shaniqua sang proudly. "Is that right? Well, you certainly have an interesting mind.." "What do you mean? Oh ohh." The girl sang with a confused expression. "I mean that you are loyal..." "These hoes ain't loyal." "But you're also brave so it has to be.... Gryffindor!"

Next it was Dave's turn, he sat down and let the old witch place chatty hat on his head.
"Ah this ones brave too..." "I should be, I'm hardcore you know the score." Dave insisted,
"And a strong character to boot, it will have to be Gryffindor!"

Dumbledore looked towards Bob, "I don't know why you're looking at me Gandalf!" He spat,
"Sit down boy!" McGonagall snapped, and he did as instructed. "Oh a right one this is! Aggressive and rather ambitious in the game, it has to be Slytherin!!!" The hat called out and Bon stood up and fixed his hair. "This place better have Pantene." He groaned.

"Dave, Shaniqua, Professor McGonagall here is your head of house. If you would like to follow her she will escort you to your common room. Bob, you will wait here... I have sent for your head of house to collect you." Dumbledore smiled, Shaniqua snapped her fingers to her hips and followed her brother from the room.

Professor Snape entered he room and looked at Bob, "Severus, this is your new 7th year student
Bob Hardcock. I would appreciate it if you lead him down to the dungeons so he can make himself at home." Dumbledore asked. "Very well Albus, come boy!" He scowled at Bob.

"Don't call me boy, batman. I will whoop your ass." Bob spat as they walked the corridors,
Snape spun around and glared at the boy. "What did you say?" He asked rather bewildered.
"I said don't call me boy! Are you death or just stupid?" Bob snorted, Snape shoved his face into Bobs and seethed at him. "If you speak to me like that again you will be on the first train home!"
"Shit, calm the fuck down dude. You need to get laid." Bob sighed and shrugged his shoulders,
Before following a group of kids into the Slytherin common room.