Chapter Seven
"Ꮖ ᏔᎪNᎢ ᎢᎻᎬ 100 ᏴᎪᏟK."

"This is so illegal." Hiccup said. They were driving the cop car around and were currently stuck in traffic. Eugene and Kristoff didn't seem to care that they could totally go to prison for what they were doing.

"Can't you see the fun part in anything?" Eugene fired back, setting down his coffee.

"Yeah, we're stuck in traffic in a stolen police car with what is sure to be a missing child in the back seat." Hiccup said, glancing in the rear view mirror to see the baby strapped in the seat. The baby wasn't even big enough for a booster seat yet Kristoff buckled it in like it was an adult. "Which part of this is fun?" He asked.

"I think the cop car part's pretty cool." Kristoff said from the back.

Eugene looked through the rear view mirror. "Thank you, Kristoff. It is cool." He agreed. Eugene looked over at Hiccup. "Jack would love it."

From behind them, a chorus of honks began ringing out. Eugene joined in, slamming on the horn. "Come on!" He shouted out the open window. The baby whined in the back seat.

Having an idea, Eugene turned on the sirens. "Check this out." He said, turning the wheel to face the sidewalk.

"Oh, no. Oh, no, Eugene." Hiccup said, immediately understanding what he was about to do. "No, Eugene. Don't do this!"

"Take it easy." Eugene replied, beginning to drive on the sidewalk.

"Just try to call more attention to us." Hiccup groaned. They didn't need more attention. They were clearly not cops and this was clearly illegal.

"Attention." Eugene grinned, picking up the microphone and speaking to the crowd.

"Sorry." Hiccup apologized to everyone they passed on the sidewalk. He couldn't believe Eugene was doing this. It was crazy. They were already in loads of trouble. They didn't need to add this under their belt.

"Attention, please. Move out of the way." Eugene declared as people jumped out of the way of the cop car. "I repeat, please disperse."

"Eugene, stop the car, I wanna get out." Hiccup quickly begged, his grip tight on the console and his green eyes wide. "Stop the car, I wanna get out. Stop. Stop. Pull over."

But Eugene continued to ignore him. "Ma'am, in the leopard dress, you have an amazing rack." He said over the loud speaker.

Kristoff laughed from the back and Hiccup started freaking out louder. "Get off the sidewalk! Get off the sidewalk!"

"I should have been a fucking cop." Eugene smiled as Hiccup continued screaming at him to get off the sidewalk and to pull over.

xxx

"Look, I already told you. You came in with a mild concussion, some bruised ribs. No big deal." The doctor said, looking away from his patient and talking to the group. The patient was an elderly man, but he said he didn't mind the company. "Although, none of you could articulate how it happened." He added.

"Do you remember how many of us were here?" Eugene asked.

The doctor went back to checking the patient, opening his mouth and checking the back of his throat. "Ah. . ." The patient said.

The doctor pulled away, looking back at Eugene. "I don't know. I think it was just you guys. Definitely no baby." He said, glancing at the child blankly staring off into space. "And one other guy."

"That's our guy. Was he okay?" Hiccup asked.

"Yeah, he was fine." The doctor nodded as he pulled on a pair of gloves. "Just wacked out of his mind. You all were." He explained. He then grabbed the patients wrists and helped him stand up. He then turned him around and pulled down his pants and made him cough.

Eugene and Hiccup hid their faces, not wanting to see anything that was happening. Kristoff and the baby stared in confusion until the doctor said it was enough and had the man sit back down again. "Okay, Henry, you can put your robe on. And the nurse will be in here in a minute. I'll see you after the weekend."

"Thank you. Thank you, doctor." The old man nodded.

The doctor stood up, shaking his head at Eugene and Hiccup. He walked over to the sink, washing his hands. "Guys, I really gotta go. I'm sorry. I have a surgery up on the fourth floor."

"No, I know, but we just need a couple more minutes of your time." Eugene said, holding up a one hundred dollar bill.

The doctor looked at it then nodded. "Yeah. Tuck it right there. I don't want to re-sterilize." He said, having Eugene tuck it in his jacket. "Walk with me."

xxx

"Okay, here we go. Patient name, Eugene Fitzherbert, 2:45 a.m. arrival. Minor concussion, like I said. Some bruising. Pretty standard." The doctor said as he read from the file as they walked down the long hallway.

"Do you mind if I take a look? I'm actually a doctor." Hiccup said, reaching for the file.

The doctor close the file, glaring over his shoulder. "Yeah. You said that several times last night, but really, you're just a dentist." He fired back. He opened the file again, slightly tilting his head. "Okay, this is interesting. Your blood work came in this morning. Wow."

He tossed the file onto the desk counter, continuing to read from it. "They found a large amount of Ruphylin in your system."

"Ruph--" Hiccup trailed, trying to pronounce the word.

"Ruphylin. Roofies." The doctor repeated. Seeing that they weren't understanding, he went on. "Commonly known as the date-rape drug."

"What, so--So are you saying I was raped last night?" Eugene replied, lightly chuckling. That had to be a joke. How could he have been raped? It didn't seem possible.

"Actually. . ." The doctor trailed, looking through the file. Eugene glanced at Hiccup, his eyes wide. The doctor looked back up. "I don't think so, but someone did slip you the drug. I'm not surprised you don't remember anything."

Kristoff chuckled, leaning against the counter. "Doc, none of us can remember anything from last night. Remember?"

"Yeah. How could someone have drugged all of us?" Eugene asked.

"Look, I wouldn't worry about it, guys. By now, the stuff is out of your system. You're gonna be fine." The doctor assured. "I have to go."

"Wait, wait, wait. Please, doctor. Is there anything else?" Hiccup asked. "Like, something we may have been talking about, or some place we were going?"

The doctor shook his head then stopped. "Actually, there was something. You guys kept talking about some wedding last night."

"Yeah, no shit. Our buddy, Jack, is getting married tomorrow." Hiccup said, clearly annoyed with the response.

"You know what? I want the 100 back." Eugene declared, reaching for his money.

"No, no. Easy." The doctor denied, pushing away Eugene's hand. "You kept talking about some wedding you just came from. At the, uh, Best Little Chapel."

Eugene looked back at Hiccup who was just as confused as him. He pulled out a piece of paper as the doctor continued talking. "You guys kept saying how sick the wedding was and getting all crazy about it. Okay, I hope this helps. I really have to leave."

"Best Little Chapel, do you know where that is?" Eugene asked, scribbling with his pen.

"I do. It's at the corner of 'Get a Map' and 'Fuck Off.'" The doctor fired back. Eugene looked up, glaring. "I'm a doctor, not a tour guide. Figure it out yourself, okay? You're big boys."

The doctor walked away, leaving Eugene steaming and Hiccup confused. Eugene let out a sigh and wrote down the name of the chapel on the piece of paper. They had to take what they could get, and at that moment it seemed like their only lead was to that chapel for some crazy marriage.

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