Chapter Five
"Ꮖ ᏞᎾᎾK ᏞᏆKᎬ Ꭺ NᎬᎡᎠY ᎻᏆᏞᏞᏴᏆᏞᏞY."

Hiccup painfully opened his eyes. He groaned, rolling his eyes around to try and figure out where he was. The ground was cold and he didn't recognize where he was. After trying to assess his current position, he decided to test if he could even stand.

He groaned, rising to his feet. His head spun and he could hardly see. He bent his knees, trying to keep his balance. Once he was stable, he figured out he was back in the villa. How did he get back?

He slowly started walking around. Oh, his whole body hurt. He spun around, trying to figure out how the room got so trashed. Nothing even seemed to be in one piece. He wandered into the living room and sat down on a chair. He groaned, laying back and closing his eyes. What happened last night?

In the kitchen area, Kristoff rose to his feet. His legs weren't stable enough to hold him though and he slipped backwards, causing pots and pans to fall and create a loud crash. Hiccup picked his head up, seeing Kristoff laying on the floor.

Hoping he wouldn't fall again, Kristoff rushed towards the bathroom. Hiccup watched as Kristoff nearly tripped over the chicken that was in the villa. How did that get in here? Somehow, Kristoff just barely missed stepping on Eugene, too.

Walking right in, Kristoff pulled down his underwear and actually made it to the toilet. As he was doing his business, he heard this low grumble. He squinted his eyes, trying to see as he turned his whole body to see what made the noise.

Oh. It was just a tiger.

Thinking he had to be hallucinating, Kristoff turned around and went back to urinating in the toilet. "Stupid tiger." He mumbled to himself.

When it growled again, Kristoff jumped back to his senses. He gasped, pinning himself against the wall. The tiger roared, jumping at him as he ran out of the bathroom.

As he rushed out of the bathroom, his foot caught on Eugene and he stepped on top of him, waking him up. "What the fuck?" Eugene spat, holding his side. Kristoff whimpered on the ground. "Control yourself, man. Goddamn, will you put on some pants?"

"Eugene, do not go into the bathroom." Kristoff warned, fear in his voice.

"Kris, just calm down. It's me." Eugene said, squinting his brown eyes to look at Kristoff. It was so bright in the suite. Who opened all of the shades?

"Eugene, there is a tiger in the bathroom." Kristoff exclaimed, standing up on his feet.

"What's going on?" Hiccup asked from the living room. He felt like he was moving at .2 miles an hour. He couldn't think straight.

"There's a jungle cat in the bathroom!" Kristoff shouted, pointing at the bathroom. Why was no one else freaking out about this?

Eugene groaned, standing up. "Okay, okay, Kris."

"Don't go in there." Kristoff cried.

"Kris, I'll check it out." Eugene repeated, trying to calm him down. There was no way there was some tiger in the bathroom. He had to be dreaming or hallucinating.

"Don't go in, don't go in. Be careful. Don't, don't." Kristoff begged, watching Eugene began to open the bathroom door.

Thinking he was lying, Eugene began walking into the bathroom. He looked to the side, seeing the huge tiger and hearing the growls echo. Quickly he shut the door, walking back to the others. "Oh! Holy fuck! He's not kidding." He exclaimed to Hiccup.

"See? See?" Kristoff said.

"There's a tiger in there." Eugene laughed, looking at Hiccup.

"No, there isn't." Hiccup said, his head slightly tilting different ways.

"Yeah!" Kristoff exclaimed. "It's big. Gigantic."

"You okay, buddy?" Eugene asked as he walked past Kristoff and towards Hiccup in the living room. Hiccup looked like shit. His green eyes were drooping low and his dark hair lacked its usual volume.

Hiccup placed his hands on his knees. "No. I am in so much pain right now."

"Goddamn, look at this place." Eugene said, looking around. There were dark bags under his brown eyes and his dark locks were in a tangled mess. He let out a sigh and sat down on the couch beside Hiccup.

"I know. Eugene, they have my credit card downstairs." Hiccup said, looking around at the place. Someone had made the footstool into a hammock, a few chairs were burned, and TVs were smashed. "I am so screwed." Hiccup groaned, holding his head in his hands.

"How does a tiger get in the bathroom?" Kristoff exclaimed. "It almost killed me." He added. He looked terrible too. There were dark circles around his brown eyes like a raccoon. His blonde hair was sticking out in random places and his cut hand was wrapped in dirty bandages.

"Hey, bro?" Eugene called out. "You mind putting on some pants? I find it a little weird that I have to ask twice."

"Pants at a time like this?" Kristoff mumbled to himself, digging around all of the clothes and blankets on the ground. "I don't have any pants." He said. He grabbed a towel off the ground and wrapped it around his hips.

"What the fuck happened last night?" Eugene asked Hiccup. Eugene couldn't remember anything. He leaned back into the couch, a soft smile on his face. They must have done a good job at giving Jack a crazy bachelor party.

"Hey, Eugene, am I missing a tooth?" Hiccup asked, opening his mouth.

"I can't. . ." Eugene said leaning forward to get a better look. "Oh shit!" He laughed, looking at Hiccup's mouth.

Hiccup quickly picked up a silver platter from off the coffee table and held it up to his face like a mirror. He peeled away his upper lip to get a better look. Blood was dried on his mouth and other teeth. "Oh, my god!" He shouted.

He looked over at Eugene. "My lateral incisor's-- It's gone!" He cried.

"Okay, okay." Eugene replied, trying to stop his laughing. "We just need-- Just calm down." He said, trying to comfort Hiccup. "We're fine. Everything's fine."

Eugene looked over his shoulder, waving towards Kristoff. "Kristoff, go wake up Jack." He demanded. He looked down, holding his head to help try to stop the pounding. "Let's get some coffee and get the fuck out of Nevada before housekeeping shows up."

"What am I gonna tell Astrid? I lost a tooth. I have no idea how that happened." Hiccup quickly said, fear present in his tone.

"You're freaking me out, man." Eugene replied, glancing at Hiccup. "I've got a massive headache, okay? Let's just calm down." He said as he picked up a drink off the table and stirred the contents.

"How am I supposed to calm down? Look around you."

"Hey, guys, he's not in there." Kristoff said, coming from Jack's room.

"Did you check all the rooms?" Eugene asked.

"Yeah, I looked everywhere. Plus, his mattress is gone." Kristoff chuckled.

"Oh, whatever." Eugene waved away, laying down on the couch. "He probably went to the pool to get something to eat. I'll just call his cell."

Hiccup continued staring at himself in the silver platter. He lifted up his lip, sighing. "I look like a nerdy hillbilly."

Eugene chuckled, dialing Jack's number as he glanced over at Hiccup. It was no big deal. He would be perfectly fine. They would find some lie to tell Astrid. Or maybe they wouldn't. Then maybe Hiccup would break up with her and the whole relationship would be over.

Eugene ran his fingers through his hair as they heard the cellphone ringing in the room. He sighed, realizing Jack didn't have it. Confused, Kristoff walked around, trying to find the source of the ringing. He grabbed the cellphone and answered it. "Hello?"

"Kristoff."

"Hey."

"It's Eugene." He said, waiting for Kristoff to hang up.

"Oh, hey, Eug--" he said, then cut himself off. "This is Jack's phone. This is Jack's phone."

"No shit." Eugene replied.

"Yeah."

Suddenly, a loud cry filled the room. Both Hiccup and Eugene froze, glancing at each other. "What the fuck is that?" Hiccup asked.

Both of them jumped to their feet and followed the sound of the cry. They opened a cupboard, seeing a baby sitting in a car seat crying. "Whose fucking baby is that?" Eugene scoffed. Where the fuck did they get a baby?

"Kristoff, are you sure you didn't see anyone else in the suite?" Hiccup asked as all three of them stared down at the crying baby.

"Yeah, I checked all the rooms. No one's here." He replied. "Check its collar or something." He offered.

Eugene and Hiccup ignored Kristoff's comment, continuing to stare at the baby. "Shh. Shh." Hiccup said, leaning towards the baby. "It's okay, baby." He comforted, gently patting its belly.

"Hic, we don't have time for this." Eugene said. "Let's go hook up with Jack, we'll deal with the baby later."

"Eugene, we're not gonna leave a baby in the room. There's a fucking tiger in the bathroom." Hiccup argued, pointing towards the bathroom just a few feet away.

"It's not our baby." Eugene replied.

"Yeah, I gotta side with Hiccup on this one." Kristoff said, looking at Eugene. He was scared of the tiger. The baby would be terrified.

Eugene sighed, rolled his eyes. "All right, fine. Okay, we'll take it with us." He agreed. He looked at Kristoff and the towel around his waist. "Could you at least just find some pants?"

Kristoff looked down then nodded his head.

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