Chapter Seventeen
"YᎾᏌ ᏞᎾᎾK ᏩᎾᎾᎠ, YᎾᏌ ᏩᎾᎢ ᏚᎾᎷᎬ ᏟᎾᏞᎾᎡ. Ꮖ'Ꮇ ᏓᎬᎪᏞᎾᏌᏚ."

They had pulled over to the side of the road. Eugene had calmed down considerably and held his phone to his ear. He coughed as the line rang, his ribs killing him. But the pain in his ribs was nothing to what Elsa was going to do to them once she found out about Jack.

"Hello?"

"Elsa, it's Eugene."

"Eugene, where the hell are you guys?" Elsa demanded. "I'm freaking out."

Eugene continued talking to Elsa as the other three stood on the other side of the road. Hiccup was leaning against the car, his arms crossed across his chest, staring into the sun. If only it could burn him into a pile of ash.

"Thanks for the lift back to town." Other Jack said, walking back from taking a leak.

"I got a question for you." Hiccup said, standing up. Kristoff looked up at him from his spot on the hood.

"What's up?" Other Jack asked.

"How did you wind up in Shang's car?"

Other Jack paused, rubbing his hands on his stomach. "That crazy asshole kidnapped me yesterday." He said, furrowing his eyes.

"Okay, but why? I mean, why you?"

"'Cause he thought I was with you guys because we were all hanging out at the Bellagio." Other Jack answered, nodding his head and softly smiling.

"What?" Hiccup asked, furrowing his green eyes.

"We were at the Bellagio?" Kristoff asked.

"Yeah, we were shooting craps. Don't you remember?" Other Jack said, shrugging his shoulder at them. He was surprised that they had forgotten.

"No." Hiccup said, annoyed with having to repeat himself a million times. "No, we don't remember. Because some dick drug dealer sold him Ruphylin and told him it was ecstasy." He glared, gesturing to Kristoff.

"Ruphylin." Other Jack repeated. "There you go with that word. Ruphylin. Ruphylin. What the hell is a Ruphylin?" He asked, shaking his head.

"Wow," Hiccup scoffed, his jaw slightly dropping, "you are the world's shittiest drug dealer." He declared. He stood taller, growing more and more pissed off. "Ruphylin, for your information, is the date rape drug. You sold Kristoff roofies."

"Oh, shit. I must have mixed up the bags. My fault, Kristoff." Other Jack apologized. He then slowly shook his head. "Damn, Clayton gonna be pissed off at me on that one."

"Whatever." Hiccup replied, straightening his lips and staring into the distance.

"It's funny because just the other day me and my boy, we was wondering why they even call them roofies." Other Jack grinned, trying to continue to make small talk with Hiccup and Kristoff. "You know what I'm talking about?"

"No. Don't know whatcha talking about." Hiccup said, shaking his head. He wasn't in the mood to talk. Especially to other Jack.

"Why not 'floories,' right? Because when you take them you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof." Other Jack explained. "What about 'groundies'? That's a good new name for them."

"Or how about 'rapies?'" Kristoff offered, gently staring off into the distance.

Hiccup furrowed his eyes, the idea circling in his head. Something wasn't sitting right in his stomach. Gears began turning in his head. Did he hear other Jack right?

"Wait, what did you just say?" Hiccup asked, now looking at other Jack.

"'Rapies.'" Kristoff said.

"Not you." Hiccup said, pointing to Kristoff to shut him up. "Jack, what did you say before?"

"I said, 'groundies.'" He answered, shrugging his shoulders.

"No, before that." Hiccup pressed. "You said, 'You're more likely to wind up on the floor than. . ." He trailed, trying to gain back other Jack's train of thought.

Suddenly, it hit him.

"Eugene!" He shouted.

"Listen, Els." Eugene softly said, leaning into the phone. "I'm really sorry. I--"

Hiccup tackled him to the ground. The phone flew out of Eugene's hands and landed into the desert sand. Eugene coughed, holding onto his ribs and Hiccup scrambled to reach the cellphone.

"Eugene? Hello? " Elsa asked, hearing the commotion.

"Elsa, it's Hic."

"Hic." Elsa sighed, glad to have the responsible one on the phone. "Talk to me. What's going on?" She demanded, knowing he wouldn't lie to her.

"Uh, nothing. Don't listen to Eugene. He's completely out of his mind." Hiccup waved away as Eugene groaned and coughed in the background. "He's probably still drunk from last night." He laughed, trying to sound calm.

"Where's Jack?" She softly asked.

"He is paying the bill." Hiccup trailed, thinking of ways to keep her calm till the wedding. "We just had a delicious brunch. And, uh, we're in a big hurry to get back, so we gotta get going. Okay, we'll see you soon. Bye." He quickly said.

"Hic." Elsa said as the phone call ended. "Hic." She repeated. She looked at her phone and scowled. "Fuck."

"What the fuck, man?" Eugene growled, grabbing at Hiccup. Why did he hang up on Elsa like that? They were supposed to tell her about Jack. And why did he tackle him to the ground? His ribs were already in a ton of pain.

"I know where Jack is." Hiccup grinned.

Eugene coughed then furrowed his eyebrows. What did he say?

xxx

"I don't know, man. It just hit me." Hiccup said as he zoomed down the highway. "You remember when we saw Jack's mattress impaled on that statue?"

"Yeah, it's because we threw it out the window." Eugene shrugged.

"No, impossible." Hiccup declared. "You can't open windows in Vegas hotels."

"Well, how did it get. . ." Eugene trailed. Suddenly, the idea hit him on the head. He jumped in his seat, his brown eyes wide at Hiccup. "Oh, my God!"

Hiccup laughed and nodded his head. He was glad that Eugene was finally understanding. There was only one place that Jack could be.

"Whoa, whoa. Wait. What's going on?" Kristoff asked, completely lost.

"Jack was trying to signal someone." Hiccup explained.

"Holy shit." Eugene exclaimed, a grin on his face. They were actually going to get Jack back this time.

"Yes." Hiccup chuckled.

"Wait. How did you figure that out?" Eugene asked. Sure, it made sense now, but how did the idea come to Hiccup in the first place?

"Jack made me realize it."

"Jack?" Eugene asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Um, not our Jack. Black Jack." Hiccup explained, pointing to the Jack in the backseat beside Kristoff.

"Hey, hey. Easy with that shit. Come on." He replied, leaning forward. He slightly glared, though he wasn't really going to hurt Hiccup.

"Sorry." Hiccup said, unable to think of another name for the other Jack.

"Okay, can someone tell me where white Jack is?" Kristoff asked. He was still throughly confused. Their hints still made no sense to him.

"He's on the roof, Kristoff." Eugene said, sitting up.

"Yes." Hiccup agreed. "He's on the roof. We must have taken him up there on his mattress as a prank so he'd wake up on the roof."

"It's like that time in summer camp." Eugene smiled, tossing his head back in remembrance. He bolted forward, beginning to laugh. "Remember, we, uh, moved his sleeping bag out in the jetty at the lake?"

Hiccup laughed, nodding his head. "Which was hilarious." He smiled. Then he cleared his throat and moved his hand awkwardly as he talked. "It's not so funny now, though, because we forgot where we put him."

"You guys are fucking retarded, you know that?" Other Jack said, shaking his head in disappointment. How did he end up with these people?

"Holy shit. You think he's still up there?" Eugene asked, ignoring other Jack.

"There's only one way to find out." Hiccup replied.

xxx

"Jack!" Eugene shouted as he opened the roof door. The three of them stumbled onto the roof, screaming at the top of their lungs.

"Jack!" Hiccup exclaimed.

"Jack, you up here, buddy?" Eugene asked, cupping his mouth. Kristoff grabbed a weight and made sure to prop the door open. He then chased after Hiccup and Eugene, looking for Jack.

"Where you at, Jack?" Hiccup asked, shielding his eyes from the sun.

"Jack!"

Hiccup rounded a corner, seeing something leaning against the side of the building. "Hey, guys!" He called out, seeing that it was Jack. "He's over here!" He cheered, jumping and whooping to Jack's side.

Eugene let out a sigh of relief and ran over as Kristoff shouted, "Hey, I found him! He's over here!"

"He's okay!" Hiccup shouted, grabbing Jack's arm. "You're okay." He happily laughed as he looked at his best friend's face.

Jack furrowed his blue eyes, looking at Hiccup in confusion. Where had they been? Why was he on the roof? And what took them so long to find him? Did they not see his signal for help?

"Oh, God. We gotta go, buddy. Come on." Hiccup encouraged, grabbing Jack's hand and helping him up. "Oh, we have been looking everywhere for you." He softly said like he was talking to a child who had just woken up.

"He's alive." Kristoff panted, hugging Jack.

"What the fuck is going on?" Jack asked as he held onto his stomach. His skin was a dark red and his hair was tangled in knots.

"We can explain everything, but right now we gotta go." Hiccup said, helping Jack walk towards the exit.

"Hey, bud. You okay?" Eugene asked, bending down to study Jack's face.

"No. Not okay." Jack mumbled, looking around. He was so lost.

"You look good, you got some color. I'm jealous." Eugene said, gesturing to his own face. Jack was sun burnt. . . badly. He looked like he just sat outside roasting for hours. Which he kinda, basically, did.

"I'm getting married today." Jack said, squinting his blue eyes. It was Sunday and they were supposed to be back yesterday.

"Yes, you are." Eugene nodded. "Now, uh, Jack, that's why you need to focus and you do everything we say." He declared. He whipped down and looked at his watch. "Because, frankly, you're wasting a little bit of time right now."

"You fucking asshole!" Jack shouted. He jumped up and tackled Eugene to the ground.

Eugene groaned in pain, his ribs throbbing as Jack whimpered in pain, his body twitching as he fell off of Eugene and laid on his back. "Oh, my skin burns." He cried out, his eyes pinched shut. "My skin burns. Oh, ow! God!"

Kristoff bent over Jack's body, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "It's okay. It's not your fault, Jack."

"Don't touch me." Jack declared, slapping Kristoff's hand. Kristoff pulled it back, staring at Jack in shock. "Shut up." Jack demanded, pointing at the blonde. Everyone was quiet, watching. "All of you, shut up."

He slightly panted, his pain subduing. "Just get me home."

"Mm-hm." Hiccup nodded.

"Just get me home." He repeated softly.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I just wanted to give you guys a random update for being such great readers and followers! It really makes it so much more fun when I see the hilarious comments you leave! Thanks!