Chapter Twelve
"Ꮖ'ᏙᎬ ᏚᎪᏆᎠ ᎢᎾᎾ ᎷᏌᏟᎻ ᎪᏞᎡᎬᎪᎠY."

"Never happened." Eugene smiled, glad that Hiccup was at least looking semi happier.

"Right." Hiccup nodded, trying to keep a smile on his face. He still felt like throwing up and crying though.

A phone began to ring, ending their latest dilemma. "Phone. Phone. Who is it? Answer." Eugene shouted out as he everyone slapped their legs, feeling for the ringing phone.

"Mulan's dad." Hiccup frowned, looking at his phone. Oh, God. How was he supposed to talk to him after what he just learned? "It just reminded me." He began to cry, hitting his head.

"Answer it." Eugene demanded, getting in his face.

"I can't."

"What? No. He might know something about Teddy. Come on, we still have a shot here." Eugene said, trying to pursued him into answering the phone. He knew Hiccup was a total wreck right now, but he had to push through.

"I can't." Hiccup whined, looking down.

Eugene snatched Hiccup's shoulders and tightly held them. He pulled his face close to his. "Get your head back into the fucking game, Hic." He growled, glaring into his green eyes. This was the only way to get Hiccup to cooperate.

Hiccup let out a long sigh and swiped open his phone. "Hello?" He answered, walking a little ways away from the group.

"Who takes an all-day fishing trip the day before a wedding?" Fa Zhou spat.

He forced a laugh, though it sounded wimpy. "Yeah. I guess it was kind of stupid."

"Put Teddy on the phone."

"Uh. Teddy's seasick, actually." Hiccup stuttered, holding back a sob.

"Seasick?" Fa Zhou scoffed. "Teddy's been a maritime deck cadet since he was 9."

"Well, that's weird cause he's puking everywhere." Hiccup replied back, sniffling. God, could this get any worse? Teddy was missing, he cheated on his fiancée, and now he was basically crying while talking to his future father-in-law.

"I'm gonna to tell you something that you did not know." Fa Zhou spat. "I don't like you."

"Yeah, I knew that already." Hiccup slurred. Eugene could tell something was going wrong and swooped in to save the conversation and Hiccup.

"If my daughter chooses you, that's her problem, but--"

"Hey, it's Eugene Fitzherbert." Eugene said, hearing the end of the conversation. "Listen, I apologize. We've been reeling in some crazy marlin, and I just want--" He groaned, a guy on a motorcycle wacking him on the back and knocking him to the ground.

"Eugene!" Hiccup and Kristoff cried out, reaching out to him on the ground. He coughed, trying to get the air back into his lungs as the motorcycle skidded to a stop next to them.

"Jesus." Eugene groaned.

"Eugene? You're okay." Hiccup said, helping him up.

"Fuck me." Eugene coughed.

"Give us back our monkey." The passenger demanded, getting off the motorcycle.

"What monkey? Get your own monkey!" Kristoff shouted, holding tightly to theirs.

"Come on, you asshole. The fucking monkey." The passenger glared, whipping out a gun and aiming it at Kristoff. Kristoff slowly backed up. "Come on."

"Any time, Kristoff. He's pointing a gun at us." Hiccup exclaimed, gesturing at the stranger.

"This is our monkey." Kristoff whined, slightly stomping his foot.

"Kristoff, no one is getting shot over a fucking monkey. Hand him over now." Eugene commanded, holding onto his shoulder that was throbbing in pain.

"Oh, God, I never get to keep no monkeys." Kristoff pouted, storming over to the motorcycle. The monkey crawled onto the motorcycle and the driver strapped a helmet onto its head. "Hey, Eugene, check it out. He's got a banana on his helmet. These guys are the real deal."

"What's happening?" Eugene asked Hiccup, who shrugged his shoulders. The motorcycle began to drive away but Eugene needed answers. "Hold on. How did this happen? Do you know where our friend is?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" Hiccup jumped up and down. "16 years old, Asian kid?"

The man mumbled something in a foreign language then began to pull away. "No, I don't understand what he said." Eugene said, reaching out to grab them. "I don't understand what he said!" He began to chase after them. "What he say? What he say?!"

The passenger turned around as they drove away. "He said, 'Fuck you and your question.'" He shouted then shot Eugene.

Eugene groaned and fell to the ground. "Oh, my arm!"

"Oh, poor Eugene!" Kristoff shouted, chasing to him.

"Eugene, are you okay?" Hiccup asked, running to him on the ground.

"Oh, I got shot. Fuck! Fuck, guys." Eugene panted, holding onto his arm. It hurt terribly bad. They had no idea if a major organ was hit or how bad the damage was. It didn't help they were in a foreign country.

"It's alright, Eugene. We'll figure this all out and get back the monkey. I promise." Kristoff said, kneeling on the ground as Hiccup picked up Eugene.

"No one gives a fuck about the monkey, Kristoff!" Eugene shouted, pushing him over. "Oh, shit. Look at my arm." He cried, looking at the blood pooling. He leaned against the wall, panting from pain and fear.

"What the fuck is going on?!" Hiccup shouted, pacing around the alley and pulling at his hair.

"Hic, am I gonna be okay? You're a doctor." Eugene asked, fear in his brown eyes. Kristoff stood beside him, waving his hat at Eugene to cool him down.

"I don't know. Let me look, let me look." Hiccup stuttered, rushing over. He bent over, whimpering. He screamed, jumping back and running around again.

"What? What?" Eugene asked, his tone higher pitch. Hiccup paused then shook his head and began to walk away. "Hic, come here." Eugene said. Hiccup shook his head, not wanting to look. He was terrified. "No, look at it."

Hiccup continued to walk away. Eugene slid down the wall and knelt on the ground, holding his arm. "Hiccup Haddock, get your ass back over here!"

"You got shot!"

"I know!"

xxx

They quietly sat in the small hospital. Hiccup closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair, resting his head against the glass window. Across from him, Kristoff munched on some watermelon, seeming to have no care in the world.

"Hey." Eugene said, coming from the back room.

"Yo. You all right?" Hiccup asked, jumping to his feet to help Eugene.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm okay." Eugene nodded as he set his papers on a side table. "Actually, bullet just grazed my arm. Eight stitches." He explained as he sat down in the chair beside Hiccup. "Only cost $6. How's that even possible?" He quietly sighed.

"How's any of this even possible?" Hiccup asked, sitting back down.

Kristoff stopped eating, looking at the two of them.

"I mean, if I was a foot to my left, Hic, I'd be dead." Eugene said, gently shaking his head in awe.

"What are we gonna do?" Hiccup asked, leaning his head back again. Everything was just so messed up. How did it get this bad?

Eugene let out a long sigh, leaning back in his chair as well. He didn't know what to tell Hiccup. Everything was so shitty and he couldn't do anything to make it better.

"I'm sorry, guys. This wasn't part of the plan." Kristoff said, looking down at this watermelon.

Eugene and Hiccup both sat up, their eyebrows furrowed. "What plan, Kristoff?" Eugene asked.

Kristoff stared forward at them. "I've said too much already."

He stood up then walked out the front door without another word. Eugene and Hiccup shot each other a glance. This was not good. Hiccup scowled and scrambled out of his seat as Eugene followed after him.

"Kristoff, what plan?" Hiccup asked, following after him.

Kristoff stopped on the busy sidewalk. "This is all Teddy's fault."

"What are you talking about, Kristoff?" Eugene asked as they got closer to him. They should have known Kristoff had something to do with all of this. It couldn't have been a coincidence that he invited Shang.

"Why is he even here? He's not part of the wolf pack." Kristoff frowned, talking about Teddy. He didn't like Teddy to begin with. And why did they have to bring him along everywhere they went?

"Kristoff, what did you do?" Eugene asked, slightly glaring.

"It's not my fault. Teddy shouldn't have been sharing from his bag." He pouted. Why was he getting blamed? It wasn't his fault.

"What bag?" Hiccup asked.

"The marshmallows. I had a separate bag just for Teddy." He said. "But it was dark, it was hard to keep track, and then you almost sat on them." He explained, pointing to Eugene. "I couldn't tell which was which. It was mayhem."

"What did you do to the marshmallows, Kristoff?" Eugene demanded, almost towering over him.

Kristoff frowned, keeping silent.

"Kristoff? What did you do?" Eugene repeated, his voice harder and slower.

"Well, isn't it obvious? I spiked them with muscle relaxers." He confessed. "And, plus, my ADHD medication."

"What?!" Eugene shouted.

"You drugged us again?!" Hiccup growled, nearly grabbing Kristoff's shirt and choking him with it. God, he couldn't believe Kristoff did this to them again. Couldn't he just let them have one normal wedding?

"Not you. I just wanted to knock out Teddy for a little while so we could finally enjoy the weekend." Kristoff defended.

"'Enjoy the weekend'? Kristoff, you told me that you didn't do anything." Eugene exclaimed as Hiccup began to pace in circles. Kristoff looked to the ground. "Kristoff, you swore to God!"

"I just wanted things to stay the same." Kristoff said.

"Look at my face!" Hiccup cried out. "You ruined my life!"

"You're not my friend." Eugene spat, glaring at him.

"Don't say that, Eugene." Kristoff said, beginning to cry. "Are you serious? Even in America?"

"Yes!"

"Oh, God. Don't say that, Eugene." Kristoff sobbed.

"Don't start crying, Kristoff." Eugene fired back.

"You're the bearded devil!" Hiccup shouted, nearly ripping out his own hair.

"You liked it. You smiled at me when I held up the bag of marshmallows." Kristoff fired back.

"Because I like marshmallows, you fucking psycho!" Hiccup screamed. He then jumped and tackled Kristoff to the ground on the street.

"Hey! Whoa, whoa, hold on. Stop!" Eugene shouted as Hiccup rolled him across the street, dodging traffic. "Guys, guys. Enough!" He exclaimed as he ran over.

"Why?!" Hiccup hollered in Kristoff's face as he sat on top of him.

"Hic! Hic!" Eugene said, grabbing his shoulder.

"Why, Kristoff?! Why?!" Hiccup screamed, pulling Kristoff closer to him.

"Because we're the three best friends, remember?" Kristoff said. Hiccup sighed, hanging his head as Eugene pulled him off. "Remember?"

"Hic, that's enough. That's enough." Eugene said, patting Hiccup's chest. He sat down, holding his arm. "Fuck." He groaned. "Guys, we can't fall apart now. We gotta stick together."

It was silent besides their panting. They all knew they had to put their differences aside if they wanted to get Hiccup back in time for the wedding and find Teddy.

Eugene glanced over, seeing something back on Kristoff's stomach. "Kristoff, what's that written on your belly?"

"What? Huh?" He panted, still laying down.

Eugene reached over, pulling up his shirt. "'Lebua Hotel. Saturday, 6 p.m.'" He read out loud. "Did you write that?"

"No." He huffed.

Eugene looked down at his watch. "Shit. That's in 20 minutes."

~~~~~~~~~~~