Chapter Twelve
"ᎢᎻᎬY ᎻᎪᎢᎬ ᏟᏆNNᎪᎷᎾN."

All three of them slowly walked down the hotel's hallway. They looked like shit. Eugene had dried blood on his shirt and his lip was cut open. Hiccup's shirt was covered in dirt and looked like it hadn't been cleaned in days. Kristoff's blonde hair was sticking out in random places and his forehead was a deep red from the crowbar. "Wait, guys. Guys." Kristoff said, getting them to stop. Eugene and Hiccup sighed, turning around to look at him. "What about the tiger? What if he got out?" Kristoff whispered.

"Oh, fuck." Eugene groaned, tossing back his head. "I keep forgetting about the goddamn tiger. How the fuck did he get in there?"

"I don't know," Hiccup deadpanned. He twisted to glare at Kristoff. "Because I don't remember."

"Shh, Hic." Eugene said, afraid that the tiger had gotten out. "Hic, keep it down."

"Because one of the, uh, side effects of, uh, roofies is memory loss." Kristoff said, looking at Hiccup.

Hiccup widened his green eyes and slightly dropped his jaw. "You are literally too stupid to insult."

"Thank you." Kristoff softly nodded.

"Hey." Eugene whisper shouted, leaning against the door, his hand on the knob. Quietly, he opened the door, stepping to the apartment. Phil Collins was playing in the background softly. "Hey, come on." Eugene said, urging them to follow him.

Slowly, they walked through the apartment. "Did we leave the music on?" Eugene asked. Kristoff slammed the door shut, following behind them. "Hey. Shh." Eugene scolded.

Eugene shook his head, trying to get a game plan going. "Don't make any sudden movements." He said. He turned a corner, running into something. Hiccup and Eugene screamed and jumped back in fear. "Who the hell are you?" Eugene demanded.

"No, who the hell are you?" The man shouted back.

"Quiet. Quiet." A voice demanded at the piano. Everyone whipped their heads to see the man slowly stand up from the piano and walk towards them.

"Naveen Maldonia?" Eugene scoffed, surprised to see the living legend. Naveen held the record for the youngest boxer to win a heavyweight title at 20 years old. What was he doing in their hotel room?

"Shh." Naveen said, holding a finger to his lips. "This is my favorite part coming up right now." He explained. He drummed along with the beat, his face in concentration. "I can feel it coming in the air tonight." He sang. "Need a chorus line guys." He demanded.

"Oh, lord." Hiccup, Kristoff, and Eugene softly sang in confusion.

"But I've been waiting for this moment, all my life." He sang again, then moved his hands. "One more time, guys."

"Oh, lord." They enthusiastically sang back.

Suddenly, Naveen sucker punched Kristoff in the jaw, launching him to the ground. "Oh, Jesus!" Eugene exclaimed, rushing over to help Kristoff out. Hiccup and him leaned over, seeing Kristoff out cold.

"Why did you do that?" Eugene asked, his hand on Kristoff's head.

"Mr. Maldonia would like to know why is his tiger in your bathroom?" The body guard asked as he shut off the music.

"Hold on, hold on. That was completely unnecessary." Eugene said then realized he needed he to suck up a little. "I am a huge fan. When you knocked out Charming, that was--" Eugene trailed, pretending to fight.

"Explain." The body guard demanded.

"Look, we were drugged last night. We have no memory what happened." Eugene sighed. Naveen and the body guard shot each other a look.

"It's true." Hiccup said, slightly embarrassed. "We got in all kinds of trouble last night and now we can't find our friend." He said. "And if you wanna kill us, just go right ahead because I don't even care anymore."

"Hic, what are you talking about?" Eugene asked, looking at his friend.

"What? I don't care." He replied, his hands on his hips.

"Why the fuck would you wanna steal his tiger?" The body guard asked, slightly intrigued by the situation.

"We tend to do dumb shit when we're fucked up." Eugene confessed, laying it all out. He lightly laughed, hoping they would understand and he wouldn't end up on the ground like Kristoff.

"I don't believe these guys, man." Naveen sighed, shaking his head.

"Wait, wait, how did you find us?" Eugene asked, narrowing his brown eyes at them. Seriously? Did someone come in and find the tiger? Did he have a tracker implanted in it for morons like them?

"One of you dropped your jacket. Found it in the tiger's cage this morning." The body guard said, holding up a dark jacket.

"That's Jack's." Hiccup declared, pointing at it. His green eyes were wide in fear as Eugene's jaw dropped.

"Yeah, uh, Jack." The body guard stumbled. He threw it onto Hiccup's arm. "His wallet and his room key is in there."

"No, that's our missing friend." Eugene said as Hiccup tenderly held the jacket.

"I don't give a fuck." The body guard declared, making Eugene stutter and look at the jacket.

"Did you guys see him?" Hiccup asked.

"I was fast asleep." Naveen said.

"Yeah, because if he was up, this shit wouldn't have gone down so smoothly." The body guard said, glancing between the two of them.

"Maybe one of the tigers ate his ass like Omar." Naveen chuckled.

"Respect." The body guard said, taking off his hat and holding it to his chest.

"W-What happened to Omar?" Eugene asked, rubbing his hand against his stubble.

"Don't worry about Omar, he's not with us anymore." Naveen replied.

Eugene sighed and closed his eyes. "Okay, I know this is asking a lot, but do you think there is any way we could go to your house and look around and see if there's any clues for our friend?"

"Absolutely. How else do you think we're gonna get the tiger back anyway?" The body guard asked. He turned and started walking away. "Come on, champ."

"I'm--I'm sorry?" Eugene asked, following after them.

"We're not gonna put it in the Bentley." The body guard replied. "You brought it here, you bring it back. What you think, about 40 minutes?"

"Don't make me come back for him." Naveen threatened as he exited the room.

Once the door closed, Hiccup leaned toward Eugene with a smile. "That was Naveen Maldonia."

"Yeah, no shit that was Naveen Maldonia." Eugene sighed, running his fingers through his dark locks.

"I'm just saying, he's still got it." Hiccup pressed, still smiling, doing a light punch to the air.

A groan came from behind them. "Kristoff." Eugene said, rushing to their friend. "Bud, are you okay?"

"Oh, my god." Hiccup sighed, seeing his bruised face.

"Shit." Eugene softly cursed. "Fuck, where'd he get him?" He asked, twisting Kristoff's face to get a good look. "Hey." He snapped, trying to wake Kristoff up.

xxx

"This does not seem fair." Hiccup said, watching Kristoff place a few blue pills into a raw piece of meat. The three were huddled over, all anticipating what was about to go down. It was either going to be really good or really bad.

"It's Rock, Paper, Scissors. There's nothing more fair." Eugene replied back, not taking his eyes off of the meat.

"Kristoff should do it." Hiccup said. Kristoff seemed to not be afraid of anything. Plus, he had already had an encounter with the beast. He would know how big it was and such.

"Kristoff took a punch from Naveen Maldonia." Eugene said, pointing at Kristoff who was now sprinkling the meat in pepper. "Come on. For Jack." Eugene added, knowing Hiccup would do it then.

"Why are you peppering the steak?" Hiccup asked, trying to take his mind off of what he was about to do. He had to distract himself. "You don't know if tigers like pepper."

"Tigers love pepper." Kristoff answered, looking up at Hiccup. "They hate cinnamon."

"Eugene, just do it. You should do it." Hiccup said, glancing at his friend. He was scared to say the least. And Hiccup wasn't the best under pressure. That was more suited for Eugene.

"I would, but you lost. It wouldn't be right." Eugene shrugged. In all honesty, Eugene didn't want to do it either. He had already met the jungle cat. He didn't want a second date.

"Okay, I jammed five roofies in there. Just go in there and throw it to him." Kristoff said, handing the piece of meat to Hiccup.

"Fine." Hiccup sighed, standing up from his chair.

Eugene licked his lips, feeling a bit nervous for his nerdy friend. "Make sure he eats the whole thing."

Hiccup slowly entered the bathroom, staying close to the wall. He peeked his head around the corner then snapped it back. "Fuck." He whispered. "Oh, fuck."

The door closed behind him. It was just him and Naveen's terrifying tiger. "Hey, kitty." Hiccup softly greeted. He held out the piece of meat. "Hey, sweetie, it's okay. I got a little snack for you."

The hungry tiger gave a soft growl, looking at the steak. "It's real important that you eat this, okay?" Hiccup said, walking closer. Talking to the cat seemed to calm him down a bit. So far, this tiger seemed no different than an ordinary house cat.

"Yeah, just have a little--"

The tiger bounded to his paws, roaring at Hiccup. Hiccup screamed, leaping backwards. He chucked the meat at the tiger then bolted out of the bathroom. "Shit!" He swore, leaning against the bathroom door.

Eugene and Kristoff were on their feet, studying Hiccup to see if he was injured.

"What do we do now?" Hiccup asked, slightly panting.

"We wait." Kristoff answered. Everyone was just thankful that Hiccup was still alive.

xxx

Hiccup sat down at the piano, gently playing a song as Kristoff and Eugene lounged in the chairs beside him. "What do tigers dream of when they take a little tiger snooze?" Hiccup began singing. "Do they dream of mauling zebras or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit? Don't you worry your pretty striped head we're gonna get you back to Naveen and your cozy tiger bed. And then we're gonna find our best friend Jack and then we're gonna give him a best-friend hug. Jackkkk, Jackkkk, oh, Jack, Jackie, Jackie, Jack, Jack." Hiccup belted.

The chicken clucked on the piano as Eugene checked his watch. "But if he's been murdered by crystal-meth tweakers." Hiccup continued singing with the piano as the tiger let out a low growl and a thud echoed. "Well then we're shit out of luck." Hiccup quickly finished.

~~~~~~~~~~~
(Video of Hiccup singing is above in the media)