Chapter Eleven
"Ꮖ FᏌᎠᏩᎬᎠ ᏌᏢ, ᏩᏌYᏚ."

"Fuck those guys, you hear me?" Hiccup spat. "That was bullshit. I'm telling everybody we stole a cop car."

"They let us go, who cares?" Eugene asked. The trio had made it to the impound and were patiently waiting for the Mercedes to return. They had no idea what kind of shape it could be in and they were still worried about Jack.

"I care!" Hiccup fired back, pacing in front of Eugene and Kristoff, who were both sitting in the shade. "You can't just do that. You can't just tase people because you think it's funny. That's police brutality."

When Eugene and Kristoff didn't reply, Hiccup swung his arms around and took a deep breath. He realized he needed to calm down. Sure, what the cops did was wrong but it was the least of their worries. "I'm getting a soda. Do you guys want anything?"

"No." Eugene shook.

Hiccup turned on his heels and walked away. He just needed to be alone at the moment anyways.

When he was gone, Eugene spoke up. "My man doesn't shut up. Jesus Christ." He sighed, shaking his head. He glanced over at Kristoff, who had still been very quiet. By now he would have mentioned something totally irrelevant and completely insane. "Kristoff, you okay?" Eugene asked.

"I'm just worried." Kristoff replied, opening up to Eugene like he was a child. "What if something happened to Jack? Something bad."

"Come on, you can't think like that." Eugene said, acting like a teacher. He had to encourage Kristoff and keep him thinking on the positive side.

"I mean, what if he's dead?" Kristoff asked. "I can't afford to lose anybody close to me again. It just hurts too much."

Eugene nodded his head as Kristoff began opening up more. "I was so upset when my grandpa died. "

"Oh, I'm sorry. How'd he die?"

"World War II."

"Died in battle?"

"No, he was skiing in Vermont. It was just during World War II." Kristoff explained, looking off into the distance.

Eugene bit his lip. At least Kristoff seemed to be back. "Kristoff." Kristoff whipped his head to look at his friend. "Jack is fine."

"Well, why hasn't he called?" Kristoff asked.

"I don't know, but we're gonna figure it out."

"I'll tell you another thing," Hiccup declared, coming back from the soda machine. "6-1 odds our car is beat to shit." He blurted out, cracking open his soda.

"Hic, not now." Eugene softly said.

"No, seriously, how much do you wanna bet it's like fucked beyond recognition?" Hiccup pressed as he shoved his open hand into his pocket.

"That's enough." Eugene said, standing up. He rushed over to Hiccup, keeping his voice low. "Look, Kristoff's seriously worried, okay? Let's not freak him out any more."

Hiccup glanced over, seeing Kristoff quietly staring at the dirt. "Sorry, Kristoff." He said, walking over to him. "You know what? We'll search the car for clues and everything's gonna be okay."

"Shit." Eugene said, hearing the car driving towards them, but they couldn't see it. He turned around, covering his eyes.

"I can't watch. Just tell me what it looks like." Hiccup said, covering his eyes as well. He couldn't bear it if the car was destroyed. The car slammed to a stop just beside them. "Not looking. Not looking." Hiccup declared.

Hiccup couldn't stand the suspense and immediately opened his green eyes. "Wow. All right."

Eugene turned around, hearing the sense of enthusiasm in Hiccup's voice. If he was pleased, it had to be good. "Oh, thank god." Eugene lightly laughed, looking at the Mercedes in perfect condition.

Slowly, the group walked over to the car. "You see?" Eugene said. "It's gonna be alright." He smiled, patting Kristoff's shoulder.

xxx

"Anything?" Eugene asked, flipping down the visor. The were searching the car for clues as they drove down a deserted road back to Vegas.

"I got a cigar." Hiccup said from the passenger side, staring at the floor.

"Oh, uh, I found these black shoes." Kristoff said, holding a black boot in his hands. It didn't belong to any of them, so that could be a possible clue.

"Are they woman's shoes?" Eugene asked, looking into the rearview mirror.

"I don't know."

Hiccup reached back, grabbing the shoe from Kristoff's hands. "Whose are those?" Eugene said, getting a better look at them.

"I don't know. It's a men's Size 6." Hiccup answered, reading the bottom of the shoe.

"That's weird." Eugene said, slightly shake his head. None of them were a size 6 so it wouldn't fit them.

"What's this, a snakeskin?" Kristoff asked. Hiccup looked back, seeing Kristoff holding a used condom.

"Oh, come on!" Hiccup groaned, disgusted at the sight. "Ew!" He screamed as Kristoff threw it onto Hiccup's shoulder. It slid off his shoulder and landed onto his lap.

"That's a used condom, Kristoff." Eugene scolded, staring at Kristoff through the mirror.

"Oh, God. Blech!" Hiccup shouted, throwing it back at Kristoff and hitting him on the forehead. Kristoff laughed, looking at it as the others freaked out.

"Get it out of the car." Eugene demanded, glaring at Kristoff.

"Gross. It's wet!" Hiccup exclaimed, wiping his fingers on his pants.

"I don't want the thing." Kristoff said, picking it up and placing it on Eugene's shoulder.

"Hey! Come on." Eugene shouted, seeing it on him. He began swerving over on the road, trying to get it off of him. "I got jizz on me! Jesus Christ, guys!"

Hiccup looked back at Kristoff and laughed. It was funny that it was finally happening to Eugene. "Get it out!" Hiccup shouted at Eugene as he grabbed the condom.

"Fuck!" Eugene swore as he chucked it out the open window.

He drove into a deserted parking lot and roughly parked the car. He whipped around, furrowing his eyebrows. "All right, what the fuck, man?" He shouted. "We gotta get this shit together, guys!"

A few thuds came from what sounded like inside the car. Everyone paused, looking at where they thought the sound came from. "What was that?" Kristoff asked.

"It's in the trunk." Hiccup said. Hiccup's green eyes widen as he tumbled over his words in excitement. "Jack's in the trunk."

"Oh, fuck! Holy shit!" Eugene swore as they all scrambled out of the car. "Holy shit!" He cried out again, rushing to open the trunk.

"Open it! Open it! Open it!" Hiccup demanded as he desperately pounded on the trunk.

"Okay! Okay! Okay!" Eugene shouted back, his hands searching for the handle to the trunk.

As Eugene popped open the trunk, Hiccup and him leaned in with grins wide on their faces. But instead of seeing their friend Jack, a naked stranger leaped out and straddled Eugene's face.

He began beating with a crowbar Eugene as the others stood in shock, unsure what to do.

"Oh, God!" Kristoff shouted, as Eugene spun in circles, trying to get the man off. "Please! Please! Please, stop!"

The man hopped off Eugene and bounded to Hiccup. He wacked his stomach, came down on his back, then smashed his shoulder. Hiccup groaned in pain, falling to the ground.

The naked stranger then whipped around and smacked Eugene in the face, making Kristoff gasp in horror as his friend hit the ground.

The stranger then began to slowly walk towards Kristoff. "Whoa!" Kristoff exclaimed, backing away with his hand raised in protection. "I'm with you, I'm with you!"

"You gonna fuck on me?" The man demanded, his Asian accent recognizable as he swung the crowbar around.

"Nobody's gonna fuck on you!" Kristoff fired back, still backing away. "We're on your side. I hate Godzilla! I hate him, too. I hate him! He destroys cities! Please!"

Kristoff slightly stood up, trying to lower his voice and calm down to show that he meant no harm. "This isn't your fault. I'll get you some pants."

The man chucked the crowbar at Kristoff, hitting him on the head and sending him to the ground with a groan. The man bolted away, running off to who knows where.

"What the fuck was that?" Eugene croaked, crawling in pain to the car.

"I have internal bleeding." Hiccup coughed, leaning over on his hands and knees. "Somebody call 911." He added, falling onto his back in pain.

"That was some fucked up shit." Eugene panted, leaning against the side of the car in the shade. "Who was that guy? He was so mean."

"Guys, there's something I need to tell you." Kristoff said, breathing heavily as he stared into the distance. "Last night on the roof, before we went out," he said, deeply breathing between words as Eugene leaned over and spit out some blood, "I slipped something into our Jagermeister." He finished.

Eugene leaned over, looking at Kristoff. "What?" He asked, his voice rising a few octaves.

"I'm sorry, I fudged up, guys." Kristoff apologized, shaking his head. He was so embarrassed that he didn't tell them and now seemed like a good idea. He had been thinking about it since the trip to the hospital earlier in the day.

"You drugged us?' Hiccup asked, sitting up and squinting at Kristoff.

"No, I didn't drug you." Kristoff said, beginning to stutter. "I was told it was ecstasy."

"Well, who told you it was ecstasy?" Eugene asked, sitting up, still panting.

"The guy I bought it from at the liquor store." Kristoff quickly replied, his chest still moving fast.

"Why would you give us ecstasy?" Hiccup asked.

"'Cause I wanted everybody to have a good time and I knew you guys wouldn't take it." He explained. He looked down at his shirt. "It was just one hit each. I used to do three hits a night."

Eugene groaned, closing his eyes and rolling his head back.

"But it wasn't ecstasy, Kristoff, it was roofies!" Hiccup shouted, rising to his hands and knees again.

"You think I knew that, Hic?" Kristoff fired back. "The guy I bought it from seemed like he was a real straight shooter."

"I'm sorry, you mean the drug dealer at the liquor store wasn't a good guy?" Hiccup sarcastically asked.

"Let's just calm down." Eugene butted in. There was no point in being mad anymore. What was done was done and fighting about it wasn't going to find Jack.

"You fucking calm down!" Hiccup fired back. He rose to his knees, pointing at Kristoff. "He drugged us!" He began rising to his feet, standing up surprisingly pretty balanced. "I lost a tooth. I married a whore."

"How dare you! She's a nice lady." Kristoff defended.

"You are such a fucking moron." Hiccup insulted, glaring at Kristoff below him.

"Your language is offensive." Kristoff fired back.

"Fuck you!" Hiccup exclaimed back.

Eugene rose to his feet, gently holding onto Hiccup's shoulder. "All right, let's just take a deep breath, okay?"

Hiccup scoffed walking a few feet away as Eugene continued. "All right. Seriously, this is a good thing, guys. At least it's not some stranger who drugged us for God knows what reason."

"Yeah." Kristoff agreed.

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right, Eugene, it's totally a good thing." Hiccup sighed, wiping the dirt off his shirt. "We're so much better off now." He sarcastically replied. He didn't care who drugged him before but now that he knew it was Kristoff's fault that they couldn't remember anything he was pissed. "Here's something I would like to remind you two of: Our best friend Jack is probably facedown in a ditch right now with a meth-head butt-fucking his corpse."

"That's highly unlikely." Kristoff said, shaking his head.

"It's true." Hiccup replied as Eugene pressed his hand against Hiccup's chest.

"That's not helping." He softly said. He turned around. "Let's get our shit together, guys. Let's go back to the hotel and I'm gonna make a couple calls. Maybe Jack's back there. Maybe he's asleep. Come on. Let's go." He said as he entered the car.

"Hic?" Kristoff asked, holding up his hand. "Little help?"

"Shut up." Hiccup spat, swatting Kristoff's hand away. He opened the door, accidentally hitting Kristoff on the head.

"Ow." Kristoff complained, hitting the ground.

"Oh, God. Oh, God, are you okay?" Hiccup asked, bending down and looking at Kristoff.

"Yeah. I'm fine." He mumbled back, his face smushed against the ground.

"Kristoff, I'm sorry." Hiccup apologized, rushing around the door to help him up.

~~~~~~~~~~~
Double update bc I'm in a good mood☺️