Chapter Ten
"ᏚᎻᎻ. ᎾKᎪY. ᏔᎬ NᎾ ᎢᎪᏞK."

"Hello?" Eugene called out as the group entered the shop.

A soft buzzing came from the back as a voice answered him. "Be with you in a minute."

Eugene walked towards the sound, the rest of them following behind him. Scattered on the walls were pictures of random people with their new tattoos. It was a good thing the pictures were up because the building itself looked to be decades old and hadn't been fixed since.

Eugene leaned forward, his hands on hips as he watched the tattoo artist drill away on what looked to be a child's arm. "Excuse me." He said, getting his attention.

The man looked up, narrowing his dark eyes under his wide glasses. The cigarette between his teeth gave off a horrible smell, the fumes distinct in the humid air. A smile was brought to his face when Hiccup stepped forward. "Oh, look who it is." He said. He looked back down at his new artwork. "So, what do you think?"

"What? I'm sorry?" Hiccup asked, having a few quick blinks.

"The tattoo? You love it?" The man asked with a smile, stopping what he was working on.

"Uhhh, no. Actually, I hate it." Hiccup said, giving a forced smile.

"No refunds. Get the fuck out." The man spat, putting out his cigarette.

"Wait a second." Eugene spoke up.

"Read the sign." The man declared. Everyone glanced over, reading the sign that said, 'No Refunds. Get the fuck out of here.'

"We don't want any refunds. We just have a couple questions." Eugene said, clarifying the situation. The man leaned forward, slightly curious. "We're trying to figure what went down last night."

"'What went down'?" The man repeated, making sure he heard him right. Eugene gently nodded his head. "Look what you did outside. Half the neighborhood went down."

"We did that?" Hiccup asked. Oh, great. That was just great.

"You don't remember getting into a bar fight at the White Lion?" He asked as he went back to work on his customer. When none of them replied, he went on. "Starting a full-on fucking riot?"

"No, sir. We don't remember anything." Eugene sighed as they shook their heads in shame.

The man began to laugh, looking around at them. Kristoff quietly joined in, not wanting to be out of the joke. Eugene glanced over at him, slightly glaring. The man handed the tattoo gun to the kid. "Hold this. Oh, boy." He grinned, grabbing his phone. "Check this out."

People screaming and sirens wailing came from the phone. Eugene grabbed it and tilted it to watch the video. "Holy shit." He swore while Hiccup's green eyes widened at the scene.

On the video, Hiccup was shown shirtless, waving his shirt around. "Fuck the police!" He shouted. People were screaming everywhere. It was chaotic. "Fuck the police!" He chanted again, making sober Hiccup cringe.

There was a loud bang and the camera zoomed in on Teddy, whose gray sweatshirt was wet from sweat or alcohol or both. He grinned, leaning close to the camera. Hiccup gasped, pointing at the phone. "There's Teddy. He was with us."

Police shouted in microphones to be heard over the noise the crowd was making. They threw gas bombs into the crowd to try and calm them down. Teddy took off his sweatshirt and handed it to the old man then he left with Hiccup, Eugene, and Kristoff.

The video ended and Eugene handed back the phone. "Jesus Christ." He sighed.

"That's when the cops arrived, started cracking skulls." The man said, taking back his phone and placing it on his counter. "I took you guys and hid you in the shop here. Then you decided to get a tattoo. Cried like a little bitch."

Hiccup scrunched his face.

"This kid's fucking nine years old. He's got balls twice your size." The man continued. He looked over at the kid. "Show 'em your balls, man."

The child began removing his pants. "No, no, no. That's okay." Eugene quickly denied. He really didn't want to see a child's genitals. Plus, that's not why they were here. "Listen, we're looking for our friend Teddy. Have you seen him?"

"Not since last night. Why? What happened?"

"Yeah, I'm supposed to get married to his sister tomorrow and we kind of lost him." Hiccup said, frowning.

"Oh, well. Then fuck it." The man sighed, going back to work.

"What do you mean, 'fuck it'?" Hiccup asked, slightly stuttering.

The man glanced up. "Bangkok has him now and she'll never let him go."

Eugene softly groaned, tossing back his head. He turned on his heels, glaring down at the old man. "You hear that? Huh?" He scoffed. He bent down, his voice growing to a shout. "Is this what you wanted? Happy now?"

"Eugene." Kristoff scolded.

"You're wasting your time." The man said, rolling on his chair toward the old man. "Theses monks take their vow shit seriously." He then grabbed the monk's wrist and flipped it up, pointing to a tattoo. "Look at this. That's the sign of the Chiang Mei monastery just outside of town." He explained. He looked up at the hungover group. "Maybe somebody over there can get him to talk."

xxx

"Okay, can we just go over this one more time?" Hiccup asked. They were currently riding in the back of a sketchy car with other strangers. Eugene was downing a bottle of needed water beside Hiccup. "You got the beer from. . .?" He trailed.

"The hotel bar. They gave me a sealed case." Eugene said, licking his lips.

"Right." Hiccup nodded. "But who gave it to you?"

"The bartender."

"Right. Okay." Hiccup said, not wanting to anger Eugene in any way. Everyone was a little on edge since Teddy was missing, they were hungover, and it was so hot outside. "And then you brought them out and I opened them."

"Yeah, and Jack had one and he was fine, so it's not the beer." Eugene nodded. This whole thing was confusing him as well. How was Jack perfectly fine and they weren't?

Ignoring the conversation, Kristoff took his water bottle and put it between the old man's legs and under Teddy's sweatshirt.

"So, what the hell happened?" Hiccup asked, upset that they couldn't find where they went wrong.

"I have no idea." Eugene sighed, running his fingers through his hair. He felt terrible that they ended up in this situation. He felt like he was to blame.

"Hey, guys. Check it out, he's got a Chinese boner." Kristoff chuckled, pointing at the old man.

"Kristoff, come on. Cut it out." Hiccup sighed, looking at the sight.

Kristoff tried to hold back his laughter, but he couldn't. The old man also began to laugh, looking down. Everyone else riding looking over and also laughed. Then, for some creepy, strange reason, the monkey hopped over and began sucking on the water bottle. 

"Ah, the monkey's a pervert." Kristoff laughed, his face turning red.

"Come on, that is so wrong." Hiccup smiled, tried hold back his laughter as Eugene chuckled beside him.

"Hey, don't stop, monkey, keep doing it." Kristoff encouraged. Everyone continued laughing, having a good time. Kristoff happily sighed. "When a monkey nibbles on a penis, it's funny in any language."

xxx

"All right. Thank you." Eugene said, handing the driver the money.

"Bye, Shannon. Bye, Lil Wayne." Kristoff waved as the vehicle slowly pulled away. The group of them gently pushed open the doors to the monastery.

"Wow." Eugene awed, looking around. "So beautiful."

Peaceful music was playing. There was the soft noise of a stream flowing and there were large gardens. The grass was the greenest any of them had seen. It felt like they had been transported to some magical dream.

"What is this, a P.F. Chang's?" Kristoff asked, looking around as he pushed the elderly man. Eugene and Hiccup chose to ignore him.

"Ah, they're meditating." Hiccup said, seeing a large group of them under a gazebo. "Such a peaceful people."

"Yeah." Eugene softly agreed, feeling like a ton of weight had been lifted from his shoulders just entering the place.

"Knock, knock! Hello?!" Kristoff shouted as they stood by the gazebo.

The group of people turned around, glaring at them.

"Kristoff, Kristoff, show some respect." Eugene scolded Kristoff. "Don't get up, guys."

The trio walked forward, one of the monks getting up. "We brought one of your guys back." Kristoff cheered. "He's really funny. He's really nice and cool."

The monk walked toward them slowly, not saying anything. "Hi, how you doing? Uh, are you the one in charge?" Eugene asked. Suddenly, the monk wacked him in the face with his bamboo stick.

"Hey!" Kristoff shouted. "Ah!" He groaned as he was hit.

"Excuse me. Ow!" Hiccup whined as he was hit as well. "Wait. Ah!"

"Stop it!" Kristoff shouted as he was hit again.

"Just calm down." Eugene demanded. "Ah!" He shouted as he was hit in the back of the legs and fell to the ground.

"Hold on!" Hiccup called out. "Ah!" He cried. "It's because we-- Ow! We're talking! Ah!" He shouted with each hit. "Stop talking!" He demanded before getting hit again. "Goddamn it!" He swore before being hit again. He fell to the ground. "Don't! Stop!" He begged before being wacked. "Wait! It's me!" He said before getting hit. "Stop hitting me!" He cried.

"Oh, I get it." Kristoff awed before being hit off the gazebo.

Eugene crawled forward, his hands raised above his head. He shushed, pressing a finger to his lips. "No talk. No talk." He whispered. The man stood straight, watching him. "Shh. Okay. We no talk."

The monk gestured for them to rise. "Okay." Eugene softly said.

When he had turned his back, Hiccup pointed at him. "Asshole!" He mouthed.

"I get it, I get it." Eugene quietly agreed, nodding his head.

xxx

The three of them stood inside a temple. One monk was lighting some incense while one stood in front of them. The one they had returned quietly sat in his wheelchair beside them. "Late last night, you climb the walls of our monastery, shouting out question about love, marriage and the meaning of life."

The three of them glanced at each other. What?

"Poor Brother Han was meditating alone in the garden when you took him." The monk explained.

"Oh, my God." Hiccup sighed as he and Eugene lowered their heads in shame. "We kidnapped a monk." He said to Eugene.

"Uh, we live an alternative lifestyle." Kristoff piped up.

"And we are so sorry about that, but we weren't ourselves last night." Eugene added.

"Yup, things kind of spun out of control a little bit." Hiccup said. "But there's a boy who's missing and hurt. Can you find out if he knows where our friend is?"

"Brother Han took a vow of silence many years ago." The monk explained. "It would be useless to try."

"Well, maybe he can write down what happened on a piece of paper." Eugene offered.

"Actually, Eugene, that would be cheating." Kristoff said, looking over at him. He looked back at the monk. "Isn't that right, Grand Wizard?"

"Kristoff." Eugene scolded.

"I'm afraid Fatty is right." The monk said.

"See?" Kristoff smirked. "What?" He said, startled that he was right.

"None of us will ever know what Brother Han knows."

"Oh, all right." Eugene scoffed, rolling his brown eyes. "So much for holy people. Bunch of bald assholes. Come on, let's go." He spat, turning on his heels. He whipped around. "Hey, you know what? FYI, you may wanna put some signs up that say 'no talking' before you unleash your dragon."

"Yeah, that was a little rough." Hiccup nodded.

"And you're welcome for bringing him back safe. You know, we found him in a drunk tank." Eugene continued, trying to hold back his anger.

"Yeah, well, we did take him in the first place." Hiccup softly said. The monk glanced over to the side, looking at Brother Han.

"Come on, guys, let's go." Eugene said. They couldn't waste their time on people that were worthless.

"Wait." The monk called out. "The Buddha teach: Every memory lives somewhere deep within. Perhaps you should bring your question to the garden of meditation."

"Did you understand a word he just said?" Eugene asked as the monkey crawled over his head.

"Yeah, I got about two-thirds." Hiccup said. "He said something about the garden of meditation?"

"No, he said he's farting because of his medication." Kristoff corrected. He looked over at the monk. "I get that."

Hiccup stuck his tongue in his cheek, unsure what to say. Yeah, they were going to go with what he thought the monk said.

~~~~~~~~~~~