Guilt.

Something Jungkook had plenty of experience feeling, but never like this. This time the guilt was crushing him from the inside out. I had been so mean to them...and they never deserved it.

Jungkook stood there in silence as rivers of tears poured out of his eyes. Shik stared back at him, smiling. It was all too fun for Shik to see Jungkook stand in his own misery.

"I bet you feel like a real idiot now, huh? Treating your hyungs so badly. You know, maybe we aren't so different after all." Shik smiled and patted the back of Jungkook's shoulder.

Jungkook took a quick step back. "No...I would never be like you." He and Shik continued to stare at eachother.

He was waiting for the hitting or the punching or the beating he knew usually came with being trapped in a room alone with Shik. However, for the first time since the abuse began, Jungkook couldn't help but feel like in this moment, he actually deserved to be beaten. He had been so mean to the people he really loved.

He stood there waiting for the abuse to start and was confused when he saw Shik walking back to the door and opening it.

"Believe it or not, I do need this group to be productive at some damn point. You guys have been doing a whole lot of nothing lately, and clearly this whole fighting thing isn't making you guys work as a team. So, follow me." Shik walked out the door.

Jungkook was hesitant to follow, he had no idea what his manager was about to do. He stepped out of the room and saw Shik headed back towards the dance studio and he picked up his pace to catch up seeing that whatever this mans intentions were, they seemed to involve his hyungs. Shik walked into the dance studio and Jungkook ran in after him.

"Listen up," Shik began. The members had all been taking a break and sitting around the room, they couldn't practice without Jungkook even though practice with him wasn't very productive anyways. They didn't bother standing up. Jungkook kept a close eye on his boss. "Since clearly you're all in some weird funk and not making any progress, I'm sending you all home. Fix your issues and be back here bright and early, as a team, ready to get some work done. See you tomorrow." Shik turned to leave, giving Jungkook the evil eye on the way out.

Shik hated playing nice guy at the moment, but to his disadvantage the lack of progress from the band was ruining his image as a top manager and he had plans to be the greatest, which meant the band needed to put out great work. He knew the only way that would happen for the time being is to get them to stop fighting and put out new material. He only needed this to last for a little while before he could go back to being not so mr.nice guy, especially to his favorite maknae. Jungkook would still get what he had coming to him, it was just a matter of time.

The members stood up and gathered their things. Nobody had much to say. They knew they weren't making any progress and they weren't being productive, so it only made sense to go home. The problem they were all facing was they all thought Jungkook was still mad and hated them all and they had no ideas left on how to fix it. If their maknae didn't come around, they wouldn't be showing up as a team tomorrow either. Jungkook avoided eye contact with all his members as they left the studio, and the ride home was spent with nobody talking to eachother as Hobi drove and kept the music pretty loud to avoid the awkwardness.

As soon as they got home, Jungkook ran straight to his room and locked the door shut.

"Should we just tell manager Shik we won't be ready tomorrow either?" Yoongi asked Namjoon.

"Not yet, give him some time," Namjoon replied.

Taehyung was still too depressed to interact with anyone and went back to Jimin's room and curled up in bed. The rest of the members gathered around in the living room considering they didn't have much else to do.

"What do we do if he doesn't come around?" asked Jimin. He glanced over in the direction that Taehyung had disappeared to, and in the direction of where Jungkook had gone. His heart broke for the both of them. Jungkook had said he didn't care about any of them anymore and Jimin, along with all the hyungs, wished Taehyung hadn't taken it so personally.

"I don't know," Jin replied. None of them really knew how to fix anything at this point. "We have apologized so many times and he doesn't want to hear it. So I don't know what to do, if I'm being honest."

"I'm telling you guys to just give him time," Namjoon informed again. He knew enough about the human brain to know Jungkook would end up regretting his actions at some point. He was just hoping that point was before practice tomorrow morning.

Jungkook lay in his bed a complete mess. He buried his face into his pillow to muffle his screaming. His pillow had become completely drenched with tears to the point the pillow couldn't absorb them anymore and his bed became soaked too. He looked over to Taehyung's empty bed and cried even harder. He didn't know what to do. He knew he needed to apologize, but he had no idea how or where to even start. He felt he had so much to apologize for. He also felt like if they hadn't actually hated him before like he thought they had, they definitely hated him now. He curled up into a ball and hugged his knees. He knew what it felt like to be hurt by someone, and it didn't feel good. He hadn't physically done anything to anybody but the emotional things he had said were bad enough.

Why the hell would I tell Taehyungie hyung I didn't care about him anymore? Why did I tell Namjoonie I didn't care about any of them? How could I disclaim my own hyungs? My own family? And for what? Stupid. You're so stupid Jungkook! Maybe Shik is right, I'm just like him. No no no. I'll never be like Shik. I'd never hurt hyungs...but I did hurt hyungs?

The guilt started weighing on him again and he struggled to breathe. He figured he'd still feel this shitty after he apologizes anyways so he might as well get to it. Waiting would only make it worse. He practiced over and over in his head what he should say to them to explain how sorry he was. He felt like when it came to Taehyung he might as well record an entire movie length documentary explaining how sorry he was and how much he actually did love him.

He gave himself time to catch his breath and stop crying before standing up and gathering the courage to go out and face his hyungs. He worried about what would happen if they didn't want an apology and actually did hate him now. He took a deep breath as he unlocked his door, he saw that his hand was shaking. He was in no way afraid of his hyungs, only their reactions.

He slowly made his way out of his room and crept down the hall towards the living room. He sneakily peeked around the corner and saw Namjoon, Jin, Yoongi, Hobi, and Jimin sitting around on their phones. There was no sign of Taehyung and Jungkook immediately knew his hyung was holed away being depressed on his own.

He stepped forward into the living room without anyone noticing him. He started to fidget with his hands and pulled on his shirt sleeves, finally finding the courage to speak up.

"Uhm, hyungs?"

All of the members turned to look at him, none of them saying anything.

Jungkook wasn't as brave or as strong as he thought he was. Before getting his next words out he completely broke down all over again and hid his face into his hands, sobbing.

Jin jumped up and ran to him, pulling him into a hug. "What happened? Are you hurt?" Mad or not, Jin still cared about that boy more than anything.

"I-I-" Jungkook was hyperventilating into Jin's chest and the rest of the members also got up and came over to him to make sure he was okay, "I'm s-s-sorry. I'm so sorry."

Namjoon couldn't hide his smile. I told them he'd come around.

Jin and Hobi both started rubbing Jungkook's back.

Jungkook began to feel extremely anxious and started talking a mile a minute. "I should have never been so mean and I should have believed that you didn't know what happened and I'm so sorry I didn't and I'm so sorry for everything I said and...and..." he stopped to suck in a deep breath, "I'm so sorry for saying you're not my hyungs and for what I said to Taehyungie I never meant any of it I do care about all of you I swear I really do and you're all my hyungs and I love all of you a lot and..." Jungkook had to stop because he started crying even harder, which none of them knew was possible.

"Shh, okay.." Jin whispered as he continued to rub his maknae's back.

Hobi and Yoongi both looked at Jin with concern and then to Namjoon.

Namjoon got closer to Jungkook and put his hand on his back. "Just breathe, okay?"

Jungkook started again, "I understand if you all hate me now even if you didn't before I should have never accused you of anything especially when you tried to tell me it was all an accident and I thought you were all lying I'm sorry."

Jungkook was completely out of breath and started to hyperventilate.

Jin hugged him tighter as the other members circled around him and gathered in the hug too. "Relax, Jungkook, nobody hates you. It will be okay. Take deep breaths okay?" Jin told him.

"Taehyungie probably hates me." Jungkook cried as he lifted his head to look around at his members. They were all also crying.

"That's not true." Taehyung's voice came from behind everyone and he walked over to them. He had been listening.

Jin opened his arms and gestured for Taehyung to get next to Jungkook in the hug. The two had some talking to do. Taehyung rested his head on the other side of Jin's chest, him and Jungkook were now both there facing eachother.

Jungkook took his arm and wrapped it around Taehyung. "I'm so sorry."

"I don't hate you," Taehyung replied. "I don't think I could even if I wanted to or tried."

"But you have completely avoided me. You even moved out of our room," Jungkook cried.

"Because you said you didn't care about me anymore." Taehyung had tears flooding his own eyes now.

"Please know I never meant that. I regretted it the second I said it I just didn't know how to take it back. Of course I care about you. I care about all of you." Jungkook lifted his hand and wiped the tears off Taehyung's cheek. I risk my life for all of you every time we go to work.

"What made you change your mind?" Hobi asked curiously.

"I realized you were telling the truth. I know nothing was your fault," Jungkook replied.

"But we all told you that from the beginning and you didn't believe us, what made you change your mind?" Namjoon asked.

"Who cares what made him change his mind?" Yoongi spat, "As long as he realizes we were telling the truth, who cares?"

The members shrugged in agreement with Yoongi. Better late than never.

"I understand if you never forgive me," Jungkook said. His tears picked up again. Because I'm a really shitty maknae anyway.

"Of course we forgive you," Jin started. "These past few days have been torture. We just wanted our maknae back."

Everyone hugged eachother silently for a little while until Jungkook decided something. Jin felt Jungkook's arm move towards his stomach and was about to stop him from scratching himself when he realized his maknae was taking his belt off.

"What are you doing?" Jin asked confused. Jungkook took his belt and held it up to Jin.

"Here."

Jin grabbed it. "Why are you giving me your belt? I have a ton of belts, I don't think yours would even fit me anyway."

"No...hyung..." Jungkook stared at him with an expression that was trying to give his hyung the hint.

"I don't get it," Jin gestured. He had no idea why Jungkook had given him his belt.

The other members were watching confused too until Namjoon caught on. "Jungkook, no."

Jungkook turned to Namjoon. "I deserve it hyung."

"What?" Yoongi started, looking between the two. He remembered what Namjoon had told them all the night before about Jungkook asking to be hit. "Wait...oh my God Jungkook we're not hitting you with that!"

Jin backed away from his maknae. "You...you're asking me to hit you with this?"

Jungkook silently nodded in response.

"Why do you think any of us would do that?" Hobi asked.

Jungkook looked to Namjoon. "Because hyung never hit me the last time I deserved it, and this is twice now." Jungkook didn't get it. I've been bad, and when I'm bad I'm supposed to get a beating. Don't the bad maknae's get beatings?

Shik had completely messed up Jungkook's head. He figured if his manager would abuse him for no reason, then he was definitely supposed to be punished when there was a reason. And he'd given his hyungs more than enough reasons lately. They've never hit him before but he figured his old manager never did either, so there was a first for everything.

The members were all staring at Jungkook, crying. The maknae turned to them and they all looked absolutely horrified at the request. Jungkook didn't understand why. He turned back to Jin and gestured to the belt. "Well?" he said with tears in his own eyes. He thought the only way he'd be able to forgive himself for the way he had acted was after a good beating that he deserved, he didn't know why Shik hadn't given him one earlier, so his hyungs were his only other option.

Jin's hands started shaking. "No...I'm not...I'm not doing that."

Jungkook grabbed the belt and handed it to Taehyung, but Taehyung refused to even grab it. "You of all people should probably do it," Jungkook suggested.

Taehyung stared at him in complete shock. "I'm not...hurting you."

Namjoon took the belt and threw it across the living room, he gently grabbed Jungkook's arm and guided him to the couch. "Sit," he demanded.

"Who is doing it?" Namjoon asked impatiently. The rest of the members had gathered around Jungkook on the couch. Jimin and Yoongi were on both sides of him, hugging him.

"Who is doing what?" Jungkook asked innocently.

"Who is making you think we're going to hit you? Or should be hitting you? Or whatever the hell you're thinking. First you wanted me to smack you and now you're asking us to beat you with a belt? That's not something you have ever done. And it's not something we would ever do. So who is doing it?" Namjoon sounded angry, but he wasn't angry, he was absolutely terrified.

Fear and anxiety shot through Jungkook. He didn't think they'd suspect anything from anyone else. He couldn't tell them about Shik.

"Nobody. I just...I was bad to you guys."

"That doesn't matter," Yoongi chimed in, "Bad or not, who is making you believe that if you're bad, you're supposed to get beaten?"

"Nobody."

"Don't lie to us, someone is putting the thought in your head. Who is it?" Namjoon needed to know. He could only fix it if he knew the answer.

"It's nobody!" Jungkook cried. He was starting to panic again.

"Then what made the thoughts start? If it wasn't a who, then what?" Jimin asked.

"I don't know. I just feel like that's what's supposed to happen."

"Why? You think if you're bad, you deserve to get hit? So would you hit us?" Hobi asked.

"No no, of course not. Never."

"Then why do you think we would do it to you?" Yoongi asked. Jin also had questions but he was too busy crying to ask any of them.

"I don't know."

"Tell us right now Jungkook. Who is hurting you?!" Namjoon's voice picked up and he immediately regretted it when he saw Jungkook sink back into the couch.

"Nobody." Tears flooded out, mainly because he knew he was lying and the most painful part was he wanted nothing more than to tell them the truth. "Nobody is hurting me."

Unfortunately every time he thought about telling them the truth Shik's voice repeated in his head, "I'll hurt them if you say anything." And images of his hyungs hurt or dead would flash behind his eyes.

"Bunny?" Taehyung started as he leaned over and squeezed Jungkook's knee. "You know you can tell us if something is going on, even if you're afraid to. Hyungs will protect you."

Tell them. Now. Shik can't hurt all of them. But who would he pick? What if he did hurt all of them? I don't want him hurting any of them. But if they all knew, maybe he wouldn't have the chance to?

Tell them Jungkook.

Tell them.

"It's..." Tell them.

Or maybe he would have the chance to.

"It's nobody. Nobody is hurting me. I just...I don't know maybe it's something I saw in a movie or had a nightmare about or something. Sorry to concern you." Jungkook felt his heart breaking into tiny pieces in his chest.

He couldn't believe the power one man had over him. The power to make him act in ways he didn't even mean to, around his own hyungs. Fear also flowed through him realizing he could very easily one day confess without even realizing it. Whether by his actions or simply accidentally saying it.

The members stared at him. Nobody was quite sure if they believed him or not.

"Why would you think something from a nightmare or movie should be played out in real life like that?" Hobi asked.

"I don't know."

Taehyung wasn't completely convinced. "Jungkook-ah tell me you know hyungs would protect you."

"I know," Jungkook replied.

"So tell us the problem," Taehyung demanded.

"I just did hyung." Jungkook was getting more nervous. He didn't know what to do if they wouldn't take his word for it and believe him. He felt his face start to turn red, he wanted the interrogation to be over. He highly regretted ever taking his belt off in the first place. Shik's voice echoed in his head, 'bet you feel like a real idiot now, huh?'.

"I'm not fully convinced," Namjoon told his maknae, "but we can't force you to tell us anything you don't want to." Namjoon crossed his arms and sighed in frustration. "Just know that if you're lying, we will find out. So, I'll ask one last time who or what is doing this to you."

Jungkook stared at him with his giant doe eyes. "I already told you." He looked down at the ground to hide the quiver of his bottom lip.

"Okay," Namjoon replied. He knew he wasn't going to get anything more from the youngest.

Jimin pulled Jungkook into a tight hug. "You know we love you. No matter what."

"I know."

The rest of the members gathered him back into a tight hug. Once again, the maknae felt like he didn't deserve their love or affection in the slightest. I just lied straight to their faces multiple times.

But for a good reason.

Jin offered to make dinner if anyone was hungry but everyone had been so stressed out and worked up that none of them wanted anything to eat. It had gotten late, everyone was tired and they were all at the point of just wanting to go to bed. Taehyung followed close behind Jungkook to their room. They were both happy to be together again. The rest of the members trailed behind to make sure the two were truly okay with eachother. Taehyung curled up in Jungkook's bed with him, considering all of his own stuff was still in Jimin's room but he was too tired to move things around at the moment.

Jin disappeared and returned with Jungkook's blanket that he had taken from him. "I believe this belongs to my maknae," he smiled.

Jungkook whispered out a small thank you and grabbed it. His voice was extremely hoarse after all the crying and anxiety. He and Taehyung both curled up and Taehyung ran his fingers through Jungkook's hair, making sure not to fall asleep until he knew his maknae was safely asleep first.

"Let us know if you need anything," Yoongi told Taehyung before everyone left the room. The members met back up in the kitchen.

"Honestly, what the hell is going on?" Jin finally asked. He felt like Jungkook was acting way too suspicious.

"You're asking the wrong people because clearly we don't have a damn clue," Jimin answered.

"I don't know, however..." Namjoon started.

"I'll be talking with manager Shik about it tomorrow-

Maybe he can help."