Possible trigger warnings

John's been getting better. I won't let him buy any beer. Or go to a bar.

John laid beside me "goodnight" he said kissing my forehead. I smiled and hugged him "I'm not tireddd" I whined

"Too bad." He said eyes already closed
"Jooooohn" I nibbled on his ear
"Charlie I'm trying to sleep" he gently nudged me away
"Okay" I sighed and leaned my head against his chest.

I fell asleep but woke up a few hours later. I checked the time '1:00ᴬᴹ'

I heard John talking to someone and looked over at him. John was sitting at the end of the bed in tears as he talked on the phone.

He can't be talking to...

Then John said: 'sometimes I just want to die'

I choked back tears. It hurt more than anything to hear the love of my life say they wanted to die.

John talked on the phone for about an hour
"Yes thanks...bye.." John mumbled before hanging up

He wiped away tears and buried his face in his hands. I pretended to be asleep to see what he would do. He went back over to being beside me. He sat up and leaned his back against the headboard of the bed.

He texted the crisis line for about two hours before they had to move on. John took the small survey and shut off his phone.

He looked over at me but I had an arm draped over my face so he couldn't tell I was awake

He kissed my cheek and hugged me tightly before getting up and going to the bathroom. I quickly got up and rushed over to the bathroom. I glanced in and felt sick to my stomach. John had a blade and was going near his throat.

I flung open the door and grabbed the knife from him. I yelped in pain and dropped the knife realizing I grabbed it by the blade.

"Charles-?!"
I hugged him and sobbed. He did the same to me.

"I'm s-sorry" he cried
"Hey...don't apologize. I was awake I know you were trying to get help. Next time wake me up. Okay?" I said. He nodded

I lead John back to bed happy he didn't hurt himself.

John had wrapped my hand in gauze. It was bad but John didn't get hurt.

I waited until he was asleep to go back to sleep.

That morning I checked johns arms and thighs. John made breakfast and we went to the gym.

I was on the treadmill and he was on the bench press. After two hours we both left.

Oh and about that rape thing I had to go to court for....George won. The judge believed it was all consensual.

I saw George walking down the sidewalk and panicked. John saw too and pulled me into a store. I held onto John's arm tightly as he passed.

I was terrified..

"It's okay. I won't let him near you" John promised
"Thanks.."