Trigger Warnings/cut wrist, mention of suicidal thoughts

I'm bad with trigger Warnings

John and Francis have been talking for an hour and I still don't know who the fuck he is.

"Charles where's my hoodie?" John asked
"Who's Charles?" Francis asked.
"Charles is my roommate" John said. What?!
"Do you liikeeee him" Francis teased John
"No! We're just friends"

The. Absolute. Fuck.

I took off my ring and set it on the table. I should've thrown it out the window. We're just friends. Why does it matter?! 

I went to me and John's room and locked the door. After an hour John knocked on the door.

"Charles? Why is your ring on the coffee table?" He asked
"Because. We're just friends." I spat
"Charlie..."
"Don't call me that."
"I'm sorry...I just-"
"Did he know about you and Alex?!"
"Yes but-"
"We're just friends."

I had tears rolling down my cheeks. Eventually I got tired. I couldn't go to sleep without John beside me so I unlocked the door and went to find him.

He was passed out on the couch drunk.

And it's my fault!

I lay next to him on the couch, hugging him.
"I'm sorry Johnny.." I said even though he couldn't hear me. I want John to hold me. The comforting way he holds me when I'm tired after work or I have a headache. Something like that...that's exactly what I want.

John starts to stir in his sleep. I felt his arms wrap around me. It's perfect. I smile, burying my face in his chest.

When I wake up John is running his fingers through my hair. I smiled and looked up at him. He's staring at his wrist as he combed through my hair.

I grabbed his wrist and kissed every place he had hurt himself before kissing him on the lips.

"Just friends huh?" I hear someone say. I look over and see Francis. Yay.
"Shut up Francis." John rolled his eyes

I didn't like that he was here but I didn't care enough to say anything either.

John got up leaving me on the couch by myself. Me and John still needed to talk.

John made coffee while I went through his phone.
"Who's Maria?" I asked innocently and totally not with a voice like I was ready to murder a son of a bitch
"My sister" he said pouring coffee
"You didn't tell me you had a sister" I smiled
"Because she's a whore."
"That's a little harsh..." I mumbled
"It's true" Francis added "our sister isn't the best person."
"Our?"
"Oh yeah. I'm John's brother" Francis explained

WHat tHe fUcK

"Oh.." I mumbled clearly shocked
"Do you want some coffee?" John asked
"No. Do we have any tea?" I responded
"Nope."

John sat next to me and drank his coffee. I kept going through his phone. There really wasn't anything to see. He was barely on his phone that much so-

Last night he called the suicide hotline.

Francis saw the look on my face "Are you ok?"
I nodded my head. John glanced at his phone to see what I was looking at. His eyes widened. He snatched his phone from me.

Let me just point out how John got so drunk he passed out but no hangover. Skills 👌👌👌))

I hugged John's arm.
"Everything ok?" Francis asked. John nodded.
"I should going. See ya later.." Francis mumbled before leaving.

I let a few tears fall.
"Charles I'm sorry I-"
"Don't be sorry!" I smiled. I was proud of him for getting help.
"Wh-what?" He was clearly confused
"I'm just proud of you for getting help" I said putting a hand on his cheek
"Alex got mad at me..." John teared up
"For what?"
"Cutting and thinking about suicide. He didn't try and help me he just got mad at me.."

I hugged John. How could you get mad at someone for that? They can't help it!!

"I'm sorry" John cried
"Don't be sorry. You can't help it if you're hurt sometimes...." I mumbled grabbing his hand and lacing are fingers together.
"I wanna take you out. You're always taking me on dates" I smile
"I like taking you out on dates" John smiled back
"God I love your smile.." I mumbled brushing my thumb over his cheek, wiping away his tears.

John kissed me. I kissed back. It was gentle and sweet.
"I love you" he muffled into the kiss making it ten times better. I pulled away.

"I love you too" I smiled

A.N.//Ok so I was wondering if anyone actually imagines Anthony Ramos as John when reading fanfictions, because I just don't. I imagine more of what he looks like in fanart and stuff.

I'm probably just weird :p