Trigger Warnings

Sorry I use this story to vent cause I have no friends

I had got an apartment near my old apartment and the gym.

I hated myself for missing Aaron. I hated myself for wishing I fought to keep John all those years ago. I hated myself for being unlovable and letting myself get replaced so easily.

I broke a vase and brought a shard of glass to arm.

John did it...I have more reason to.

Without realizing it blood started to drip down my hand.

Fuck it! I'm done. Im done I'm done I'm done.

I grabbed a picture of John I still had and stuffed it in my pocket. I had on a necklace Burr gave me and a jacket George gave me.

All three times.

I fucked up. I'm unlovable.

I took my car and drove to a bridge that was over a lake. There was a kid sitting there on the bench on his phone. Well he wasn't a kid it looked like a grown man but I didn't want someone to see what I was planning on doing.

I took out a piece of paper and a pencil and wrote.

'Dear Aaron Burr and John Laurens,
     I love you. It's not your fault I can't be loved it's mine
                                   -Charles <3'

Wiping away tears I gently taped the paper to the side of the bridge.

I stood up on the edge. The guy on the bench looked over at me and started yelling. He called 911.

I just stared over the bridges edge at the water. The cold deep water.

I braced myself ready for the water to consume me.

John said his favorite animal was a turtle. Maybe I'll be one next.

Just hope I'm not a human in my next life.

As I readied myself for what was to come I heard police cars surround me.

I looked over my shoulder and saw burr trying to fight past police officers to get to me. I watched another car pull up a little farther down. A tall guy I hardly recognized got out of the car and ran over. The police didn't see him and he got past them getting over to me quickly.

He had freckles and his hair was curly and went to the center of his back.

Johnny...

"Charles you can't!" Police came over and tried to drag him away

"I'm sorry for what I did three years ago! I didn't know I would hurt you so much! Charles I'm ready to commit please don't-"

I didn't hear the last words he said. I didn't mean to! I slipped. I fell off the bridge.

Cold water seemed to be everywhere. It was all around me consuming me as if I was it's prey. As if I was it's meal for the day.

I fought against the water trying to get to the surface. My chest ached and pleaded for air. So close...

It's right there....right there...

Then everything went dark