🐍minnie's children🦁

we should do something

wormy🐭✨
i am literally setting bombs in the divination hall rn with your brother
what more could you want woman?

not that dumbass

my moony🌙❤️
like what then?

GIFTS

lion bitch🦁❤️
and we make them explode? 🤠

puppy🐕🖤
can you for once think of not making something explode?

lion bitch🦁❤️
no

do you really want to make a puppy explode?
that's just wrong on so many levels

puppy🐕🖤
why tf we're getting a puppy?
i'm legit right here

dumbass
not for us
for hagrid

my moony🌙❤️
hagrid with a puppy
a puppy with a puppy
i'd love to see that
we should definitely get him one

wormy🐭✨
how tf are we going to get a dog in here?
padfoot's fleas are bad enough

puppy🐕🖤
I DO NOT HAVE FLEAS

remember the time you rolled around in the grass and got fleas?
and lily and i had to give you a flea bath?

puppy🐕🖤
we don't talk about the flea bath...
that was practically boiling water
i almost got a second degree burn from that

hot water repels fleas dumbass

puppy🐕🖤
still
i hated it

stop whining
i know someone who can help us smuggle a puppy into hogwarts without umbitch noticing

wormy🐭✨
is that person zabini?

maybe...

lion bitch🦁❤️
he's not coming to your wedding

he is
already gave him the invitation

puppy🐕🖤
ffs
WHY

because
he's the decorator
speckles already gave him the role

my moony🌙❤️
are we sure he's straight?

pan actually
he's zabini
sexual preferences don't apply to him
if it breathes
he's attracted

puppy🐕🖤
he's staying away from me from now on

don't be a baby
you're bi
you have no say

puppy🐕🖤
huh?

lion bitch🦁❤️
dude
it's soooo noticeable that you're bi
istg🙄

sunny and i were actually betting that you would leave me for moony

my moony🌙❤️
YOU TWO WHAT

hush
corvus calls it
✨wolfstar✨

my moony🌙❤️
i hate all of you rn

mmm
no you don't😌

puppy🐕🖤
moony?
whatchu wearing? 👀

my moony🌙❤️
get the fuck away from me sirius orion black the third

so no wolfstar?
👁💧👄💧👁

lion bitch🦁❤️
that ship sunk
i hate it
CORVUS AND I WERE CAPTAINS OF THAT SHIP

sunny and i were first mates

puppy🐕🖤
sunshine
you literally ship me with a stick instead of each other

yes

puppy🐕🖤
WHY

idk
give me a sec
i'm making a list

wormy🐭✨
dude
stfu
we already know you two are endgame

lion bitch🦁❤️
i want wolfstar to be endgame

my moony🌙❤️
you just want jade to stop dating your best friend
pussy

puppy🐕🖤
he's dating her best friend
they're even
just like my sister is dating my best friend
AND I DIDNT FORM A FUSS LIKE YOU DID JAMES

lion bitch🦁❤️
NAME ONE TIME

puppy🐕🖤
"you go near my sister, and i'll make sure you never see daylight again"

my moony🌙❤️
"jade is off limits to all of you, ESPECIALLY PADFOOT"

wormy🐭✨
"padfoot dates my sister and i'm killing him. STOP MAKING GOOGOO EYES AT SATAN, SIRIUS! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DATE HER!"

and guess what?
i do what i want
i saw the boy
i fell for the boy
i targeted the boy
i shot the boy
and now he's mine

my moony🌙❤️
sirius
you say something cheesy and i'm killing you
save it for when you're alone
you make me nauseous

you and me both

wormy🐭✨
okay but we have to admit that those pickup lines were fucking golden
"want me to slytherin?😉"

my moony🌙❤️
to which she replied
"i'll close my gryffindor. now shut up and do the charms essay before i slit your throat with this knife"

lion bitch🦁❤️
"KiNkY"

wormy🐭✨
to which prongs replied by hitting him with a book
typical prongs

yeah
and then he scolds me whenever i get violent
ViOlEnCe Is NeVeR tHe AnSwEr

lion bitch🦁❤️
it isn't

puppy🐕🖤
says the guy who hit me with books through our fourth and fifth year every time i looked at vixen
I NEVER DID THAT TO REMUS

my moony🌙❤️
that's probably because i'm not a playboy
like you
dumbass
you broke her heart for an entire year before you actually got the balls to ask her out

wormy🐭✨
two actually...
she confessed to me in third year

CONFESSED!?
MORE LIKE YOU PRYED IT OUT OF ME LIKE ANY SOCIOPATH WOULD

puppy🐕🖤
when did you confess?

the month after bella's wedding

puppy🐕🖤
👁💧👄💧👁
AND I NEVER KNEW

no
that was around the time you started being a little playboy bitch so yeah

my moony🌙❤️
shots fired
btw
vix
the list?
and umbitch is here today
how do you plan on pissing her off now?

right right
okay
first
the list
1. minnie- pictures of her children (marauders, queens and reggie and frank)
2. flitwick- our feathers from our first class (i still have mine🥺)
3. slug- dad sent me a new cauldron so we're giving it to him
4. sinistra- idk an astronomy book or some shit idc
5. sprout- new earmuffs for the mandrakes
the rest well
we make it up as we go

lion bitch🦁❤️
and hagrid?

his name is fang and he's a very good boy who deserves lots of treats🥺

puppy🐕🖤
how the fuck did you get him so quickly?

i sent zabini and reg to hogsmeade to pick him up

my moony🌙❤️
how tf are we going to hide that from umbitch

we're not
we're giving it to him tomorrow along with the wedding invitation
duh
which reminds me
great hall
now

wormy🐭✨
why?

it's my turn to piss off umbitch before the queens get there
i wanna get her riled up before the queens and anka get their slice

lion bitch🦁❤️
i'm already there
DIDI FIX YOUR UNIFORM

MAKE ME

puppy🐕🖤
my god

my moony🌙❤️
VIXEN WTF DID YOU TELL HER
SHES RED
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
SHES ABOUT TO EXPLODE

wormy🐭✨
moony and i got there late
what did you tell her?
but the way prongs and speckles are dragging her to minnie's office is everything

puppy🐕🖤
oh it was hilarious!
umbitch started
"are you supposed to graduate like that with your chest half out, miss potter?"

lion bitch🦁❤️
to which she replied
"yes you hag that was always the plan, i'm gonna wear this shit to the ministry man. SO HOPE OFF MY DICK! you should be just as wrecked as i am and i'm pretty fucking angry that you're not! and when i'm curse breaking and you need my assistance for some bullshit don't ask for my help."

puppy🐕🖤
to which speckles replied
"her heart is pure, the arithmancy checks out, so what's the move?"

to which i replied
"how could you say this when i learned my rights from you?"
made a dramatic bow
half of beauxbatons applauded me
and now here i am in minnie's office while she's laughing her ass off
life's great rn

wormy🐭✨
AND I MISSED THAT
MY GOD
I HATE MYSELF RN

my moony🌙❤️
speckles secretly recorded it
sent a video!
my god

puppy🐕🖤
YO
WE SHOULD HAVE CODE NAMES FOR THE LAST PRANK

lion bitch🦁❤️
WE ALREADY HAVE CODE NAMES

puppy🐕🖤
NO NO
LIKE OTHER ONES
SO NO ONE WILL HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT WERE TALKING ABOUT

my moony🌙❤️
are we siriusly going to indulge in this?
vix?

i'm eagle one
padfoot is been there, done that
moony is currently doing that
wormy is it happened once in a dream
and prongs is eagle two

lion bitch🦁❤️
oh thank salazar

my moony🌙❤️
so i guess we're doing this
why am i the sane one again?

wormy🐭✨
someone has to be responsible
and it sure as hell isnt going to be vixen
i mean
look at what happened not even ten minutes ago
prongs tried once
failed miserably
padfoot is a lost cause at this point
and i'm mentally 5 years old so i'm out
who's left?
oh right
MOONY

i'm the mum
moony is the dad
prongs is the crazy and drunk uncle
padfoot is the other uncle
wormy is the baby

my moony🌙❤️
where is the lie?
vixen and i are always cleaning up after you three

yep
now
ig2g
minnie is giving me tea👀
umbitch tea👀

puppy🐕🖤
I WANT IN

sorry
favorite child only
and well
sunny too 🤠

my moony🌙❤️
SINCE WHEN

okay okay
third favorite child
move your ass
this tea is good shit

my moony🌙❤️
omw👀

lion bitch🦁❤️
so are we just going to accept the fact that those three are minnie's favorites?

puppy🐕🖤
i mean
where is the lie tho?

lion bitch🦁❤️
good point...
vix
tell us the tea later?

room of requirement
i'll text you all once we're done here
bring the pizza and butterbeer
THIS SHIT IS GOOD SHIT

puppy🐕🖤
can't wait👀