~ Jezebel Grove ~

~ June, 6, 2024 ~

~ The day Before Graduation ~

I remain in a statue like position allowing the shower water to bounce off my skin and slither down into the drain.

Frozen like I was standing before the guy who I didn't see a future with and didn't know how to decline his proposal.

The news of a lifetime hit me hard than I could have ever imagined.

Not the news that would have you jumping up and down and screaming at the top of your lungs because you just won a trip to Bermuda with your girlfriends, but the news that will haunt you for the rest of your life.

It was crushing to hear what happen two days ago, and yet now I can't seem to sleep at night.

My eating has been disrupted, and I find myself drinking more wine than I ever have been in my entire life.

College life was stressful everyone knows that feeling, but in the next 24 hours it will all be over.

We were going to be graduates class of 2024 and it's been one hell of a ride.

I owed it all to my closest friends that I had since freshmen year.

Now we were all graduating with master and bachelor degrees in the careers that we set out for ourselves.

Snapping back into reality, my skin grew with goosebumps all over from the water now being ice cold.

I shiver like a manic as I stepped out the shower and wrap myself up with the white towel that rested on the towel rack.

Stepping in front of the mirror I lifted my hand and started to wipe away the fog until my face became visible.

I stared into it for about five minutes just taking in the girl who I saw standing in front of it.

The girl I once knew to be happy, kind, energetic, ambitious and so much more than one could have ever known.

Now all I see in her eyes is heaviness, guilt, darkness, trauma, stress, and lies.

Once again I was startled by the sound of my laptop ringing.

I knew it was Skype and a small warm smirk came across my lips.

Combing my fingers through my wet ginger hair to pull it up into a bun, I slip my feet into my bathroom slippers and walk in the bedroom.

The ringer continue to ring, as I walked over still clenching onto the towel that I haven't toss on the floor somewhere by now to be  covered up in clothes.

Which I wasn't.

Leaning low enough to see the name I gasp when it was

His name.

Emiliano was very special and close to me even though we had no labels.

Occasionally we would talk all night, joke around, sleep together but we haven't you know.....

Did the thing yet.

I have myself to blame considering that I am still a virgin, and not only that, but I didn't want to cross those boundaries with him.

He was such an amazing best friend and I don't even know how he sees me.

Feeling a bit anxious I push my nerves aside and quickly press the answer button.

Seeing his beautiful face pop up in my screen made me smile harder.

Emiliano: ayeeee wassup
Jezebel !!!

Jezebel: * giggles*..... Heyy Emiliano. How are you?

Emiliano: pretty straight actually um just about to get into this English
Essay .

He glares at me as I was still seen in my towel.

Emiliano: * smirks* I take it you haven't decided to put on any clothes huh?

The video chat grew quiet for a few seconds before the rooms was filled with laughter.

Jezebel: * throws up both hands*
GUILTY. So have you heard the news?

I wanted to know how the rest of the group felt about the news we all received this morning.

I needed to know that I wasn't the only one who was feeling this type of way.

Moments later I release my hair so that it poured down covering up my exposed shoulders and breast.

I watch as he exhale a long sigh before leaning back in his gaming chair running his right hand through his curls.

"Gosh why did he look so damn edible ." I thought to myself, but right now wasn't the time to be in my thoughts.

Emiliano: * he's shoulders 
slightly  went up then back down *.
I...I don't know how to feel about it
Really. When I saw it my mind went blank  i never once thought something like that could have happen here.

Jezebel : yeah but.... You think she...

Emiliano: do I think she what Jez?

Jezebel: * twirls her finger in her hair*... never mind. I should get dressed, are we still on for tonight's group chat before the big day Tomorrow?"

Emiliano sat back up in his chair now with both elbows on the desk show casing that  smile I loved.

The smile that made his dimples carved into both sides of his cheeks.

Emiliano: of course we still on jez , this is our last night as college students and tomorrow we all walk that stage and will go our separate ways  forever .

Hearing him speak those words out loud made everything sound so real.

This was really happening tomorrow.

When will I build up the courage to tell Emiliano how much I really do care for him.

How my hearts skip beats each chance it gets when I'm around him and it's even worse when we're not with the other guys during these chat sessions.

Jezebel: * gives a faint smile* Right. Okay well do you remember the time that we all agreed to get on together? My minds hasn't been here since this morning

Emiliano: I can understand , Meg said 7:30 which is perfect because I'll be done
With all my work.. and you ?

Jezebel: Same, I just have one final assessment and after that I'm finish. Talk later?

He nod his head before leaning over his chair to come back up with his college cat buddy name socks.

I gasp out of excitement before waving enthusiastically to the screen.

Jezebel: oh my goshhh hey socks!!!... I miss you so much

I watch as she was trying her best to get down and was going to do whatever it take to make sure it happen.

Every now and then you would see Emiliano pushing his head back so that her tiny little claws wouldn't scratch him.

I continue to watch them tussle before he eventually gave  up and drop her back down.

Emiliano: Talk later. Bye Jez.

Waving him goodbye, we ended our call and I walked over towards my closet.

By this point I was beyond dried off, now unwrapping the towel from around my body.

I knew before our big group chat session that I wanted to get me something to eat, a nice ice coffee, and run some errands.

To be honest even with receiving this bad news this morning, I'm sure the whole college knows about it by now.

With that being said, I was excited to see everyone for one last time tonight.

Who knows what will be in store for us all in the future.