"Yo, young mastah." Sebby said as he pulled the curtains back. "It's time to wake up."

"Ehhhh, fuck off. I'm bloody sleeping." Ciel said, flipping him off.

"Look, I was only like, thirty percent serious when I made this contract. Get the fuck up." Sebby replied.

"Someone put on their sassy pants this morning." Ciel said as he threw his legs to the side of the futon he was sleeping on. He used to have a bed, but Sebastian thought it would be a really fun idea to play with a ouija board and summon a demon, but since one was already there, fucking Satan showed up and spit fire everywhere like the dick he is, so that caused the bed to combust, and it eventually spread to the whole manor. So Ciel had to sleep on a futon.

Let's just say, Ciel screamed like a little girl as ptsd kicked in as he watched his manor burn to the ground, for the third time might I add.

"Didja sleep good?" Sebby asked as he booped Ciel's pitiful excuse of a nose.

Ciel swatted his hand away like a fly. "No I fucking did not. Thanks to some idiot."

"Wow, harsh. Fucking thanks." Sebastian said, pissed that his master would address him in such a way. Ciel verbally abused Sebastian on a daily basis. It really hurt his feelings, because he cared so deeply for Ciel. Ciel was like his little squishy meat child.

"What the hell is wrong with you, you stupid tart? What is wrong with your face, besides what's usually wrong with it." Ciel retorted as Sebastian frowned.

"Why are you so mean to me mastah? All I do is love you and you treat me like I'm the one who brutally murdered your parents. I didn't ask for this!" Sebastian screamed as he ran out of the room, crying and flailing his arms around.

"God dammit." Ciel said as he smacked himself in the face. "Sebastian, you little bitch. Where are you!"

Ciel stood from his futon and ran from the room. He stood in the hallway and listened for the loud sobs trailing behind the cry baby butler.

He began to run towards the shrieks, but his feet got tangled up on the rug and he totally tripped and fell down the fucking stairs. His head bounced off the floor and against the wall a few times and his nose bursted with blood. It fucking flew everywhere.

"Momm-Sebastian!" He cried as he held his bleeding nose.

Sebastian appeared at his side, still sobbing like a little school girl who's Pockey was taken from her. "Young mastah, what the hell happened?"

Ciel lifted his head up and whailed like a whale.

"Holy fucking tablespoon young mastah! Your face!" Sebastian said as he held his sides. "Satan, help me with these tears."

"Oh very fucking funny you jackass. Help me up!" Ciel screamed.

Sebastian snorted as he held a finger up. "One.. Moment..." He said between giggles.

"Now dammit!" Ciel shouted.

Sebastian chilled out and grabbed on to Ciel's hair and began to drag him down the hallway.

"Sebastian what the hell man! Put me down this inst-" Ciel cried, but he hit his head on the wall and it knocked him unconscious.

"Oh fuck." Sebastian whispered as he looked down and noticed his mastah had quit moving.

Sebastian picked Ciel up and threw him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He ran to Ciel's room and threw him onto the futon.

"Young mastah?" He said as he bitch slapped the fuck out of him. "Wake the fuck up!" But Ciel did not budge.

"Oh dear Satan." Sebby said as he placed a hand on his forehead dramatically. "What am I to do now?"

But then a thought came to him.

"I shall have a party." He said wickedly.

Sebastian left the room and ran to his bedroom, flopping down on the bed and grabbing the telephone.

He began to dial a number and waited patiently for the person to answer.

"Yo! Sebs, wazzzzz uppppp!" The voice shouted.

"Dude, Alucard. I totally just knocked my mastah out and I'm throwing a party. You should totally come and bring the big tittied police girl." He said as he twirled his fingers around the phone cord.

"Dude, I'm fucking in!" Alucard shouted.

"Fucking sweet man. Okay dude, I gotta go and make some more calls. Peace bro!" Sebastian said.

"Peace man." Alucard replied and hung up the phone.

Sebastian hung up as well and dialed another number.

"This is hell, how may I halp you?" A lady's voice sounded on the other end.

"Oh hey, can you direct me to Clood Faustus?" Sebastian said.

"One moment please."

Sebastian waited patiently.

"Uh, hello?" A musky voice said.

"Yo, Clood, it's Sebs. What are you doing right at this moment?" He asked.

Clood thought for a moment. "Harvesting the souls of insects, why bro?"

"Wow, you've really out done yourself down there huh? Well you need to stop that shit and come to my house. I'm throwing a wicked party and the big tittied police girl is gonna be there." Sebastian said happily.

"Oh holy fucking tablespoon I'm there!" Clood said.

"Sweet bro, see you then." Sebastian said hanging up.

"Alright." Sebastian side, back flipping off the bed. "We need decorations! Thankfully I had some put back for such an occasion."

He walked to the wardrobe and opened it, forgetting about his little friends inside.

"Oh dear Satan!" He shouted as his cats scurried away.

White ones, black ones, yellow ones, all sorts of cats. Sebastian wasn't racist.

His favorite little black one started to run away.

"No! Toby Keith!" He shouted as he ran after the cat. But Toby Keith had other plans. He ran out of Seb's room and into the hallway.

"Hoe don't do it!" Sebastian shouted as Toby Keith ran right into his mastah's room.

"Oh my god." He whispered, completely mortified.

Sebs ran into Ciel's room. He was still completely passed the fuck out. He crouched down on his hands and knees and looked around for the furry nuisance. "Where are you Toby Kei-"

"Achoo!" A loud sneeze echoed through the room.

"Oh my god."

(Guys, guys. This is really stupid, but it's so funny to write. I'm sorry if you guys hate it)