PAIN

"L-Lynus." I uttered.  "What happened?"

"Get those fucking hands off my women," Leusam darkly said behind us, but I'm crying so hard and didn't look at him.

"Jimenez?" Lynus utter. "Let go of my women right now, Herrera!" Leusam darkly said and I felt his grip on my waist pulling me away from Lynus, but Lynus didn't let go of me.

"Your women?" Lynus intensely asks and gently tightens his grip on my wrist trying to pull me closer while Leusam is reigning on me, he is wrapping his arms around mine.

"Yes, my women!" Leusam said in a powerful tone and in just a snap I was already in his arms and Lynus was forced to let go of my wrist. Do they know each other?

"How come Louen is your woman?" Lynus asked and looked into my eyes, I suddenly felt shock in this confrontation and fear appeared. Agad pumasok sa isipan ko na baka malaman ni Luesam ang tungkol sa anak ko kaya agad ko siyang tinulak at sinampal ng malakas.

This is my chance to run away from him, "I'm not your woman." I utter and saktong dumating yung babaeng kahalikan niya kanina sa garden at hinawakan siya sa kanyang braso. That crashes my heart but I choose to follow my mind in this situation and the only thing that is important right now is this chance to run away.

"Louen, it's a misunderstanding," Leusam softly uttered, bakas sa boses nito ang pagmamakaawa, he looks at me in the eyes and tries to reach for my hand.

But before he could ever touch me, Lynus stood in front of me, gently held me at his back, and faced Leusam, "Back off!" he yelled at him and in just a glimpse of an eye Leusam punched Lynus so hard that he fell on the floor.

"Oh my gosh Timothy!" the girl women beside him shouted, agad tumayo si Lynus at binawian si Leusam ng isang malakas na pagsuntok, hinawakan ko ang kamay ni Lynus para pigilan siya.

Pero masyado silang makalas, Lynus keep punching and Leusam keep fighting back. "Stop it!!!" The woman beside him yelled and hugged him, hugged him as if she owned him. The way he holds him shouts love.

And that makes me realize that we are not for each other, all he did is to show me how he loves me yet here I'm lying about his own flesh. "What's happening here?" Ashton showed up, so I panicked and grabbed Lynus' wrist, and pulled him away from that place.

Tumakbo kami papalayo sa party hanggang sa tumigil kami sa gilid ng kalsada, "Louen how come you know him?" bungad na tanong sa akin ni Lynus ng kami ay tumigil sa pagtakbo, hinabol ko ang aking paghinga bago siya hinarap.

"And, why the fuck he's owning you as his woman?!" Lynus is filled with confusion in his face, and his lips were bleeding from that punch, he also has small bruises on the side of his brows. Sinubukan kong hawakan ang mukha niya pero pinigilan niya ito at hinawakan ang aking kamay.

Diretso akong tiningnan sa aking mga mata bago muling nagtanong, "Louen, what's your relationship with Jimenez?" he seriously asks, and that question makes me cry again, tears escape from my eyes.

I sob so hard and slowly shook my head and leaned on his chest, my hands shaking in fear. Hindi ko alam kung paano ito humantong sa ganito pero ayaw kong magsinungaling kay Lynus. "H-he's T-Tabitha's F-father," my voice was cracking.

I felt him stiff and slowly held my arms, pushed me away from him, and chuckled in bitterness. "Wow, I'm speechless," bakas sa boses niya ang sakit, na mas lalong nagiyak sa akin, he looks at me in pain, his eyes wail anger and pain.

Lynus slowly let go of my arms and stroke his hair up while smiling in pain, "You said it was a stranger Louen," habol hininga niyang sambit at pilit iniiwasan ang aking mga tingin. "He was," I answered.

"Lier!!!!!!!" nagulat ako at napapikit ng sobra dahil sa pagsigaw niya, he punches the wall beside up and kick some rock out of frustration. I cried, even more, watching him like that is hurting me.

"He was my fucking stepbrother Louen, he's not a fucking stranger to me! Alam mo ba kung gaano kasakit ito?! Do you know how fucking painful it is to witness all of this in one snap, Knowing that the woman I love was already marked by my greatest enemy, Ah Fuck!!!" he shouted, nanginginig kong tinakpan ang aking tenga at nagpatuloy sa pagluha, I didn't know.

Sobrang bigat na ang dibdib ko, hindi ko na alam kung ano ang nararamdaman ko. "He's the fucking real son of my mom with husband, and I'm just a fucking bastard, outsider, he always make me feel insecure and less of who I am, pilit ko siyang tinatalo sa lahat ng bagay, buong buhay ko, Louen, pero hanggang dito ba naman siya pa 'rin ang mananalo, this is bullshit!"

"I don't know," I whisper, sobrang gulong-gulo na ako, kumikirot ang puso ko sa iba't-ibang klase ng sakit, I feel sadness, betrayal, conscience and fear. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko.

"This is fucking bullshit, shit! shit! shit!" sobrang lakas ng boses ni Lynus pati ang pagsuntok niya sa pader ay sobrang lakas na rin, his blood is already dropping from his fist.

"Please stop, Ly," I begged and all of the things started running in my mind, I can't think straight anymore. Sinubukan kong pigilan siya at hawakan ang kamay niya nag bigla niya akong harapin at hawakan ng sobrang higpit ang magkabila kong braso.

"Tell me, do you love me!!!" he shouted to my face, my whole body is trembling in fear, he was holding me so tight, it was hurting.

"Lynus y-you're hurting me" I try to whisper but he starts shaking me, "Tell me Louen, do you love that fucking Jimen---," I cut him and shout, "Fuck yes, I fucking love that man!!!" The way I yelled made him slowly loosen his grip on my arms.

His grip leaves red marks on my arms, it's aching and it makes me cry even more. "How about me?" he asks, he looks so lost. "Do you even love me!!!" he shouted at me again, anger spreading all over him. This is not the Lynus I know.

"Lynus t-this is not the right t-tim----," hindi niya ako pinatapos magsalita, "You are fucking unfair Louen, you're just like my mom, so fucking unfair, you answered it so quickly when it's him, but when it's me, you always hesitate, That is fucking unfair, I give you everthing you needed, I loved your daughter, I love you, but this is how you'll pay me back? That os so unfair!!!" tears start falling from his eyes, nanghina ako ng makita ang pagtulo ng mga ito.

"L-Lynus" I utter, "Don't fucking call my name again, this is enough, you can never hurt me again!" he shouted, turned his back on me, and there I watched him leave.

I'm so messed up, and I don't know what to do anymore. I weakly sit and cover my face with my hands. Cry all out.

"So, you are here all along," that voice. Slowly raise my head up and my heart stops beating, "A-ash."

Lynus's Point of View

I ride my car and hit the steering wheel so hard, I don't fucking care about my bleeding hands anymore, the pain that my heart is feeling right now is more painful than anything else.

"H-he's T-Tabitha's F-father,"

"H-he's T-Tabitha's F-father,"

"H-he's T-Tabitha's F-father,"

Those words of agony were rushing into my whole system, all this time the hope that I keep building inside of me is going to be crushed by him again.

It's always been, Jimenez!

"Leuris, why didn't you come to your son's graduation?" grandma said as we entered the house, wearing my Toga and my awards. Mom glanced at me and smiled, it's your brother's first promotional event, I couldn't miss it" Mom said. Him again! I glance at him calmly sitting on the couch reading some books.

"Lynus, you are going with your grandma and studying abroad," Mom said while I'm doing my homework. "Are you coming with us Mom?" I ask.

"No, I'll be staying here with your brother, he needs me here," I also need you there.

"Grandma, what are you looking at?" I ask her while he's reading some mail. I read it and it was like thunder hit my heart. My Mom is getting married again to her first husband.

"She said we should come," Grandma said, I urged a smile while my whole heart was breaking into pieces. "Tell her I'm busy with my exams, I can't come," I whisper and turn my back to her, tears started falling and I could do anything about it.

"Leuris, it's your son's graduation, he's going to be a doctor. This is an important day for him, and you're telling me that you're not coming?" I was on a staircase listening and smiled bitterly while looking at the branch opening of Jimenez.

This is why she's not coming; he needs him there. "Welcome home Son, cheers," Mom said and raised a toast of wine. They are all smiling and talking about his business, while I sit here feeling that wall between us.

"You should build your own hospital, iho," Mr. Jimenez said and smiled at me. "Yes, you should be like your brother," Mom said and smiled at him, she didn't even glance at me.

All my life I was chasing and beating him but he's always the winner, kahit na wala siyang gawin siya pa rin ang nanalo against me. He was always the one.

And now he owns Louen and Tabitha, the two women I care about the most. "You are so fucking lucky Jimenez," I whisper and shook my head at the wheel. Can I be him, even just for once?

Leusam's Point of View

"Let go of me Sab!" I haze at her and head straight to my car. How the fuck did Herrera knows my woman.

"No, I'm coming with you," Sabrielle said going inside my car. "Get out of my car Sab, I'm telling you, what you did just messed up everything!" I seriously said, controlling my anger and frustration.

"What did I do wrong, I'm telling the truth I love you and I will do anything for you," she said, crossing her arms above her chest and casually sitting inside. That fucking kiss wasn't what Louen think about! This is all Sabrielle's fault.

"Ahm, I need to use the r-restroom," Louen whispered. That's why I let go of her and watched her head to the restroom. "What's her name?" I glance back at my friend Ashton when he asks.

"Why do you want to know? He's off limits Del Mundo, what's mine is your limit" I playfully said which makes him chuckle, "That makes me sound like a player haha," he joked and we both laughed. "By the way, I invited your brother," he said.

"Oh, Herrera?" I ask, he laughs even more and says, "As if you have another brother than him?" I grin because of what he said. Lynus is my half-brother and he's always mad at me for no reason. That way we are distant from each other.

"I'll just go there, I'll see you later," Ashton said and greeted other people. While waiting for Louen, Sab showed up. "Timothy," she cheerfully said and still looked sophisticated as always.

"You're here" I utter and she gives me a peck on my cheeks. Which I thought is normal because he always do that with everyone. "Ahm yeah, Ashton invited me, by the way, can we talk." "We're talking," I said. Stating the fact that we are already talking. What does she mean?

"No, I mean somewhere quiet, I guess," I gaze at the restroom for Louen but she's still inside, "Can we just talk he---," she cuts me out and grabs my hands before she pulls me outside, we stop here in the garden where there are only a few people.

"What is this all about?" I ask.

"I love you," she said straight without any hesitation, I sigh, "I already know that Sab, and I thought we are clear with this, I only see you as a little sister and that's i----hm," I couldn't finish my words when she copes my face and kissed me.

That shocked me, I didn't expect that she could do such a thing, when I looked at her back, I saw Louen running away from us. I instantly push Sab away. "Louen!"

"Timothy, wait!"

"Stop this nonsense Sab, I don't love you and I will not love you," I said out of so much frustration, I need to find Louen after this.

"You know you can't do that, Timothy," she seriously said before she stepped out of my car.

I started the engine and drove away, "I can and I will!" Louen, where are you?

Louen's Point of View

"I know it's you," he said seriously while he was driving me home. I can't believe Ash is with me right now. Akala ko nakatakas ako at hindi niya ako nakilala.

"How did you know?" I ask while my eyes feel sore because of crying. "I just feel it, I mean you change a lot and if other people see you again, they might not recognize you but not me, I know you so well," he said while his eyes were on the road.

"How's Dad?" I ask but my heart is aching so badly. "He's fine now, don't worry, it's not your fault" he's talking so calmly like it wasn't a big deal that we met again. "Are you gonna tell this to them?" I ask once again.

"No," diretso niyang sagot bago ako tiningnan, "I will not tell anything to them, if they saw you in this state, I know that will just hurt your ego, so, I will not do anything trust me," I didn't expect him to be this mature. He really grew up well.

"Thank you," I utter and tears keep falling again. "Mom and Dad really love you, and the pain that you feel for them was just your escape from your own insecurities. On your graduation day, we all know that they did anything to catch up. They even give you a surprise party the next day but you still choose to remember the sad part and not their efforts. Our parents are also human, they can also make mistakes and errors as a parent but they are giving their best for us, it's just you being so immature and thinking of our parents' shortcomings." what he said really stabbed my heart.

That was the truth that I have been avoiding for all of my life, I keep blaming my parents but the real problem is, I build big standards because of my insecurities. It was me. I was the problem.

I cry and cry while he silently continues driving until we reach our house. "I think you're mature enough to understand our parents now, come back when you're ready," he said and kissed my forehead before I stepped out of his car and watched him leave.

Lahat ay tila sampal ng katotohanan sa akin, I lost my parents because of my selfishness and insecurities. I lost Lynus because I was too cruel to keep him and lie to him, and Leusam wasn't for me, that girl deserves him better than I am. I should not be loved.

Wala sa sarili akong pumasok sa condo ni Six at naabutan kong kakalabas ni Tabitha sa kwarto ni Six at Erille. She smiled at me and ran towards me. "Bakit gising ka pa?" I ask.

"Mommy," she said and ask me to carry her, binuhat ko siya at dinala sa kwarto. "Sleep Tabi," nanghihina kong sambit bago humiga sa kama at tinakpan ang aking mga mata. I feel so tired and so worthless.

I can't even think straight, "Mommy, I wanna play!" Tabi said, tapping my thighs and starting to jump on the bed. What she's doing is stopping me from being at peace. Nagugulo ako at hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko, my head is spinning because she continue jumping.

"Tabi stop jumping and go to sleep," I whisper. But she didn't listen and he continued jumping. "Tabi kakagaling mo lang sa hospital please stop jumping," mahina kong sambit.

"Mommy I wanna play!!!! I won't get ouchie!!!" she said and jumped even faster. "Tabiiiii please not now."

My head is aching and spinning really badly, I can't take this anymore. "Tabi, I said stop!!!" I shouted and sat while I glared at her. She stopped and looked straight into my eyes. "You know you can't do that, yet you still continue doing it, you're bad!!!" I shouted, I don't know if that's for Tabi or for my worthless self.

"Let me rest even for a minute, Tabi," pabagsak akong bumalik sa pagkakahiga bago naramdaman siyang dahan-dahang bumababa ng kama at lumabas ng kwarto. I heard Erille's door open kaya alam kong pumasok si Tabi doon.

Nagpahinga ako at ipinikit ang aking mga mata.

It was just a minute of a nap when I heard Erille's voice. She shook me. "Louen, nasaan si Tabitha?" I heard her ask. Slowly I open my eyes even if it is still sore and look at her. "She's in your room" I utter.

I see terror on her eyes when I said that, "Wala siya sa kwarto namin El" she said. Para akong tinakasan ng dugo dahil sa sinabi niya.

Kasabay nang pagatayo ko ay ang pagbukas ng pinto ni Six, "I got the CCTV footage," he said and instantly play it to his laptop. The video showed Tabi stepping out of the condo and heading outside. She was crying while walking outside the condominium and she looked like she didn't know what to do.

I gasp when a white van stops in front of her and a guy with a black mask takes her inside. Together with the two street kids. That just took my heart away. "I'll call the police," mabilis na sagot ni Six habang si Erille naman ay tila hindi nakagalaw sa nakita.

What have I done?

"Tabitha," I whisper.

***

"Tangina kailangan pa bang maghintay kami ng 24 hours bago pa hanapin yung bata, nakita niyo naman na kidnap ang nangyari, kinuha yung bata ng sapilitan!!! Kinuha si Tabitha!!!" nagwawala na si Six dito sa presinto habang ako ay tila nakatulala lamang sa kawalan.

It's my fault, hindi ko na alam ang mararamdaman ko ngayon. What if something bad happens to her? Baka natatakot siya ngayon.

"Six huminahon ka nga!" Erille try to stop Six, "Paano ako hihinahon, Erille, kinuha si Tabitha, paano ako hihinahon Erille, tangina, kumilos kayo, hanapin niyo yung bata!!!" he almost punched that one police man beside him out of anger.

Tears were just falling from my eyes while I remembered how I shouted at her last night.

"Tabi, I said stop!!!"

 "You know you can't do that, yet you still continue doing it, you're bad!!!"

"Let me rest even for a minute, Tabi,"

I look at her picture on my phone and I pray that she's ok right now, but while looking at her picture some unknown number appeared calling. "Erille," I called their attention and answered the call.

Nanahimik silang lahat habang nanginginig kong sinagot ang tawag. "H-hello?"

"Hawak ko namin ang anak mo! Kung gusto mo siyang makuha magbigay ka ng limang milyon," sobrang lakas ng takot na aking nararamdaman ngayon, "Let me hear my daughter first, please don't hurt her, she's sick" I begged habang nahihirapan akong huminga dahil sa sobrang bigat ng nararamdaman ko ngayon.

"Mommy," I hear Tabitha's voice and that crashes my heart, she's really there.

"Sampung milyon, hindi namin sasaktan ang anak mo, bibigyan ka namin ng bente kwatro oras para iabot iyon sa amin, pupunta ka sa lugar na sasabihin namin magisa dala ang pera at doon namin ibibigay ang anak mo," they didn't let me speak and just cut the call out.

Nanghihina kong nabitawan ang cellphone ko dahil doon, "Gagawan po namin ng paraan para ma trace ang pinanggalingan ng tawag na yan, babalitaan po namin kayo kaagad," sabi ng police.

Umuwi kami sa bahay na tila wala sa sarili, hindi na tumigil ang pagtulo ng luha ko at pagaalala sa anak ko, sobrang bigat nang nararadaman ko, hindi ko alam, parang nakalibing sa hukay ang mga paa ko habang wala sa piling ko ang aking Tabitha.

"Maghinatay tayo El mahahanap din nila si Tabitha," sambit ni Erille, habang si Six ay nagpaiwan sa police station para mahanap si Tabitha.

I didn't answer her and suddenly I received a text message from the kidnappers, sinabi nila ang lugar at oras kung saan ko sila dapat kitain. They said they would kill my Tabi if I didn't follow them.

"Kailangan ko ng sampung milyon," wala sa sarili kong sambit. "Wala tayong ganong kalaking pera Louen," Erille said. Tiningnan ko siya.

"Sasasayaw ako mamayang gabi sa club, kung kinakailangan ay magpagalaw ako sa lahat ng lalake doon para lang makuha ang sampung milyon na iyong gagawin ko," I said and stand-up head to my room and grab a dress to wear for this night.

Please wait for Mommy Tabi, I'm so sorry. I waited for the time and headed straight to the club at 6pm. Pagpasok ko sa loob dire diretso akong tumuloy sa staff room at nagpalit.

Humarap ako sa salamin at sinuot ang aking mask, tear fall from my eyes again. Tabi, wait for Mommy. Paglabas ko ng staff room agad akong naglakad papunta sa stage, but someone grab my arms and pull me out of the club.

"Ano ba bitawan mo ako!" I shouted at him, Leusam let go of me and looked at me filled with anger.

"What do you think you're doing!" he darkly said while he held my hand. Pilit akong nagpupumiglas mula sa kanyang pagkakahawak. "Let go of me!!" Tabi needs me, tears started to fall from my eyes because of fear of my daughter's situation.

"I will not let you dance there again Louen, not anymore!" he firmly said. "Ano ba Leusam, bitawan mo ako parang awa mo na!!!" I begged. "No, I will not let you go there," he said and kept holding my hand like he didn't have any plan of letting go.

"Leusam, please let go of me," I begged and tears keep falling, my heart is turning into pieces, the more I think of my Tabi the more it kills me with pain.

"No, enough is enough Louen!"

"Leusam, please let go of me, my daughter needs me!!!" I weakly said and broke down, fell to the floor, and cried. He slowly let go of my hands and asked, "What did you say?"

"My Tabi needs me."