PREMISES

"Mommy!" My lips parted and my eyes narrowed as my daughter called me, in front of him. I was stiff the whole time, it was like a slow-motion scene when Leusam faced me and met my gaze.

This is the end of my sacrifices, halos hindi umiikot ang mundo ko ng mag tama ang aming mga mata, he looks at me with an unlighted gaze before he slowly stood up and hold Tabi's little hand.

My whole body was wobbling inside and out because of this intense situation, Wala na akong takas ngayon. Nagsimulang mangilid ang aking mga luha ng pagmasdan silang dalawa na magkasama.

Tabitha really has her father's genes, "Louen?" Leusam called my name, and the way he called me set my whole system on ice, I froze and I couldn't think of words to say.

"L-Leusa---,"

"Tabitha, anak ko!!!" agad akong napalingon ng may sumigaw sa aking likuran, I saw Erille, running towards my daughter and hugged her so tight. "Mommy?" Tabitha uttered while her gaze was on me.

Erille carried Tabitha and kissed her forehead in front of Leusam, "Maraming salamat po at nahanap niyo ang anak ko," Erille said hysterically, which made Leusam look around the lobby because they are starting to catch attention from other people.

Tabitha kept looking at me, I took the chance to nod at her, telling her that she should go with Tata, she nodded and cuffed a little. My heart is pounding so fast, I could faint right now.

"Maraming salamat po talaga wahhh, paano ko po ba kayo masusuklian huhu," Erille's voice was so loud that all the people around here could clearly understand her, even the way she cried, it was too loud.

"No, it's fine," naiilang na sambit ni Leusam, at halatang nahihiya na sa lahat ng tao. "You should go, get her some check ups," he said and gently turn Erill's back and push her away from her.

"Thank you so much po, anak tara na," Erille said and instantly brought Tabitha with her, as they passed beside me, our eyes met and she wink at me unnoticed. I mouthed the word Thank you and watched them walk back to Tabi's room. Tabi waves at me and smiles before they enter the room.

"Louen," agad akong napalingon ng tawagin ni Leusam ang aking pangalan. He held my hand softly, sobrang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko sa kaba at takot, na baka nahalata niya na magkahawig sila ni Tabitha. Please no.

"Leusam, b-bakit k-ka n-nandito?" I was shuttering as I met his gaze. "That should be my line, why are you here?" he seriously asked and intensely stared at me. That stare makes me weak. Hindi ko magawang mag isip ng diretso dahil sa mga nangyayari.

"My friend's daughter is sick," I said and avoided his gaze, "Don't tell me that kid and that woman were the people you were talking about?" he asks and moves even closer, the way he moves makes me feel suffocated and at the same time, the space between us is getting smaller and smaller.

"Y-yes," I put my shaking hands behind my back and tried to smile at him, just to hide my fear. "What kind of sickness does that little thing have?" natigilan ako ng biglang naging malumanay ang boses ni Leusam ng tanungin niya iyon.

When I looked at him, he was staring at the hallway where Rie and Tabi walk. I was stunned when I stared at how he stared at my back. Leusam shows such emotion in his eyes while staring at my back, "Sickled Cells Anemia," I whisper.

"Is it that bad, why are they staying here?" he softly asks, and looks into my eyes with pity emotion, I bite my lower lip so hard to stop myself from bursting out of pain, seeing him care for my daughter.

"I-its b-bad," I utter in pain, but I know he wouldn't notice that because he's so focused on the information he's asking for.

"How bad is it?" he asked and held my hand as he gently caressed it, fixed the strand of hair that blocks my face, and put it behind the back of my ears. "T-there are d-deformed r-red blood c-cells that block on her brain that c-cause her to have sudden stroke and pain on her h-head," I could not help it, tears overflowing from my eyes as I describe how painful Tabi's situation is right now.

"Shhh" don't cry" he whispered, wiping my tears up and pulling me for a comforting hug, "I will help your friend and that little kid," he said and kissed my head filled with assurance.

I nodded and just leaned on his chest, I wanna lean on someone right now, and my heart says this guy in front of me is the right person to lean on.

But also my mind is telling me to avoid him because even though I pass through this situation, he still didn't know the truth, I still need to be careful and avoid him for good. After all of these circumstances, I will bring Tabitha to a place where he wouldn't find her.

I know that's selfish but it's the only thing I know to avoid ruining his perfect life, dahil alam kong kahit anong gawin ko hind kailan man kami magiging bagay ni Leusam para sa isa't -isa.

We just stayed like that for a few more minutes before he received another phone call from work. "Alright, I'll see you later, call me when you need anything," he whispered as he held my hand, lifted it up, and kissed it.

We are now standing outside the hospital lobby, "Mag-ingat ka," I utter in a low tone of voice, he urges a gently smile, kiss me on my forehead, and whisper, "I like this feeling, so please stay with me" he gazes at me before he heads to his car and drives his way to his company.

I took a heavy breath before I slowly and weakly took my step inside the hospital and headed straight to Tabi's room. Pagkabukas ko ng pinto naabutan ko siyang nakikipaglaro kay Erille habang sinusubuan siya nito ng sopas.

Sobrang bigat ng pakiramdam ko habang nakatingin sa kanya, I feel like I hurt her a hundred of time, hindi ko sinabi sa kanya na tatay niya ang kaninang may hawak sa kanya, at hagkan-hagkan siya.

Tumulo muli ang luha ko dahil sa bigat ng aking nararamdaman. "Mommy?" Tabitha noticed my presence, I instantly burst out crying and ran to her. Niyakap ko siya ng sobrang higpit at nagpatuloy lumuha.

I felt her tap my back with her small palm and say, "Itch ok mommy don't cry," she was copying how I comfort her when she's crying and now, she's doing it to me, he rubbing her small hand on my back and keeps pampering me.

"Don't cry Mommy, Tabi's here," she whispers and copes my face, a bright smile from her cute lips, and kisses my forehead. "Don't cry Mommy, Tabi will protect you," she whispered winking at me.

Mas lalo lang akong naiyak dahil sa kanyang ginagawa, what she's doing just making me feel drowned with conscience, who could I continue lying to her. Will this precious little thing be mad at me when she finally knows the truth? Will my Tabi leave me?

"Don't leave Mommy no matter what Tabi," I whisper while sobbing really hard, "Promish," she said and raised her arms up. "Don't do that again ok, don't go anywhere without us," I said, she nodded politely and hugged me once again.

I hugged her like there is no tomorrow, and felt Rie's hands on my back. "Kung hindi ka pa handa ngayon, nandito lang ako palagi para sayo," seryoso niyang sambit at niyakap kaming dalawa ni Tabitha.

They are my strength and as long as they are beside me, I can do anything.

As 5:30 pm hits the clock, I grab my back and look at Tabi's cute sleeping chubby face, nilapitan ko siya at hinalikan ng sa kanyang noo bago hinarap si Erille, "Ikaw na muna ang bahala kay Tabitha, mag-iingat kayo dito," I said, "Tawagan mo ako pag may nangyari."

She nodded and hinatid ako hanggang sa pinto ng silid, hindi papasok ngayon si Erille dahil hindi makakapunta si Six para bantayan si Tabi. "Mag-iingat ka, ang puso mo," natigilan ako ng banggitin niya ang puso ko, hinarap ko siya at tiningnan ako niya ako ng mabuti bago huminga ng malalim at ngumiti. "Sundin mo ang puso mo," she said and close the door.

I feel a little bit lost in her words because it is inscrutable, why should I follow my heart? When I know it was the most dangerous thing I could ever do because the last two times I followed my heart I end up changing my life and turning it into something miserable.

Naglakad na ako palabas ng hospital at agad akong natigilan ng makita si Leusam sa labas ng loob, he was leaning on his car while other nurses were looking and admiring him so well.

When he glanced at me, he smiled and opened the door for me, "Did you eat dinner already?" he asks as I enter his car. Umiling ako bilang sagot dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na kahit sabihin kong kumain na ako ay pipilitin niya pa rin ako kumain pagdating sa penthouse niya.

"Great, I prepared dinner for us at home," he said and seat properly on the driver's seat, fix his seatbelt and started the engine, nang aandar na kami paalis biglang may kumatok na nurse sa bintana niya kaya binuksan niya ito.

"Sorry Sir, nakalimutan niyo po ang resibo nyo po," the nurse softly said before Leusam received it and closed the window, he crumpled the paper and put it beside him, like it was nothing. Bakit siya magkakaroon ng resibo galing sa hospital? I got so curious, so I grabbed the receipt and read it.

Nangbuklatin ko ito agad kong nakita ang buong pangalan ni Tabitha, my heart dropped in fear, binayaran niya lahat ng expenses at magiging expenses ni Tabitha dito sa hospital. Nalaman niya kaya na ako ang totoong nanay ni tabitha? I mean my surname is Tabi's whole name.

"Binayaran mo lahat," I utter, he glanced at me and saw me with the receipt. "This is the only thing I know to help," he said and held my hand.

"That kid's surname was a bit familiar to me," he said and started driving. Halos manlamig ang buo kong katawan sa sinabi niya, pero mas pinili kong hindi na lang siya imikin para hindi na lumamig ang pag iisip niya sa apelyido ni Tabitha.

He still doesn't know my real name, so he won't know that Tabi's my daughter. Nanahimik lang ako hanggang sa makarating kami sa penthouse niya at gaya ng kahapon ay kumain kami ng mamahaling dinner.

After eating he take a shower first and I did the same thing after him, paglabas ko ng banyo ay nakasuot ako ng victoria secret night dress at nagpapatuyo ako ng buhok, naabutan ko siyang nagbabasa ng kung ano sa tablet niya.

When he saw me walking out of the bathroom, he smiled before he grabbed the towel beside him and tapped the space in front of him. "Let me dry your hair," malambing niyang sambit, umupo ako sa harapan niya ng patalikod sa direksyon niya kaya agad niyang pinunasan ang buhok ko at pinatuyo ito gamit ang blower.

"I can spend my whole day doing this to you" he cheerfully whispered. I don't know what's funny but I chuckled and let him continue what he was doing. I felt safe and calm in this situation.

I closed my eyes and suddenly felt at peace, I wanna rest even just for a second. I wanna escape the troughs and problems in my mind. Kahit ngayon lang.

Nang matapos niyang patuyuin ang buhok ko, hinalikan niya ang aking balikat bago itinabi ang mga gamit sa side table at niyaya akong humiga. "Aren't we gonna do it?" I ask.

Pero imbis na sagutin niya ako, lumapit siya sa akin at niyakap ako, "No, we are not doing that today, I just wanna feel you beside me right now and sleep with you in my arms," he said and kiss my forehead.

"Can we stay like this forever without minding anything that hinders us," he whispers, and I instantly answered what he said, "No, we can't."

"Why?" he seriously asked, resting his chin on my head and gently combing my hair using his fingers. "Because land cannot reach heaven, just like you and me, I can't reach you and we are not for each other," I said.

"Do you not feel anything for me? Even when we first met? Because if you ask me, I will say that I wanted to own you the first time I saw you, I wanted you to stay at my side like this from the very start, I want you even when you run away from me without any words," he said, moving away to face me.

"This might sound old but you got my heart the first step you take on that stage" he's referring to the first night we met when he saw me dancing on the main stage of the club, my heart is beating so fast again, everything he say is giving me a flashback of how good he is too me and yet I choose to lie to him and run away with his flesh.

His making me weak, and the wall I built around my heart is starting to break, please don't say to love me. "Can we give it a try Louen?" he asks and caresses my cheeks. Iniwasan ko ang kanyang tingin bago umiling at nagsimulang tumulo ang luha ko.

"Why?" he asks again, "Hindi tayo pwede, hindi tayo bagay para sa isa't-isa," I utter.

"I'm not asking if we fit into each other Louen, I'm asking you if you want to stay with me," he seriously said and copped my face, looking sincerely through my eyes. I cried in fear, we can't be together.

"You can't just worry about these problems and solve them all by yourself, Louen, you are that kind of person who's always ready to run away instead of facing the truth," he said and that hit straight into my soul, he was right I'm that person.

"You can't just face a problem all by yourself Louen, you can't just care about what is a match and what is not, you can't just think of what other people would think of us. You can't just do that all by yourself" he wipes my tears, "So let me be with you, and let's do this together," his words are like a prepossessing way of making my heart beat even more.

"I will treat you well, so put that thought aside," he said, I held his hand in my face and, "That is not the problem, Leusam, it's me, I can't be trusted," because I'm a liar. "I'm bad when it comes to love," I whisper.

"I don't deserve to be loved" I'm an awful person, I deserve your wrath, not your delightful love.

"Shhhh don't say that you are loved and that's the only point we should focus on" what he said really breaks all the walls I built for him, his made me feel that he is my comfort zone, and my heart is shouting it well.

I cry even more that's why he hugged me again, "Louen, stay with me again on the premise of getting married," he whispers to my face and kisses me off of his heart.

My heart just overpowers my mind and I just lose it, I kiss him back and we spend the night with love. The love that I was always running away from.

Kinabukasan ay hinatid ako ni Leusam sa hospital at sakto namang dumating ang magandang balita mula kay Lynus na makakalabas na ulit si Tabitha sa hospital, dahil naging stable na muli ang nararamdaman niya.

"Ok, welcome home Tabi," I said as I let her go inside Six, condo. Masiglang ngumiti si Tabi bagi pumunta sa sofa at nanonood ng cartoons. Habang kami nila Rie at Six ay nag aayos ng mga gamit.

I could feel the awkwardness between them, but Rie seems to not care about it, ganon pa rin ang pakikitungo niya kay Six, pero si Six ang tila nagiba ng pakikitungo. I watch him look at Rie with pain and I don't know what's the story behind it.

While folding some clothes my phone ring and I received a text message from Leusam, agad akong napatingin kay Tabi dahil doon. I read the text and it says,

From Leusam,

Can I have you before 4 pm?

Bakit niya ako kailangan ng before 4pm?

To Leusam,

Why?

From Leusam,

Just meet me in the penthouse before 4 pm please, I'll see you there.

Hindi ko na nagawang magreply pa sa kanya dahil wala naman akong magagawa kung hindi ako pumayag, pupunta at pupunta pa rin ako sa kanya.

And because of that I feed Tabi for lunch and make her take her medicines before she falls asleep, and wake up at 3:22 pm. "Tabi, Mommy will just go to work, behave ka kila Tata and Toto ah," I said while putting all of my things in my bag.

"Ok Mommy," she said and winked at me, I smiled at her before I kissed her cheeks and left the condo. The two adults inside were still awkward toward each other. I just hope that they are fine.

3:45 pm nakarating agad ako sa pethous niya at pagpasok ko sa loob dalawang long expensive dress ang sumalubong sa aking dito sa living room. Nakasuot ito sa manikin kaya makikita mo talaga kaagad, at agaw atensyon ang kumikintab nitong materials.

"Choose what you want to wear," nagulat ako ng agad bumalupot ang braso ni Leusam sa aking bewang habang hinakalikan niya ang pisngi ko mula sa likuran.

"Anong meron?" I ask, I face him and notice him wearing formal attire. He looks like a duke from England, with his navy-blue suit and royal mask.

"You are coming with me to a party tonight, so choose what you want to wear my love" he whispered before he let me go and head to his office.

Hindi ko maiwasan mamangha sa ganda ng mga gown na ito, una kong tiningnan ay ang pangalan ng mga ito at presyon na halos malula ako sa sobrang mahal.

The first gown is a little black dress from a cult classic Givenchy and this is worth 900,000,00 pesos. Almost 1 million. I move to the other gown with weak knees, I can't take how much this gown is. The other gown is a one-shoulder mesh gown studded with Swarovski crystals from Armani Prive is worth 250,000.00. I would rather wear this than the other one.

Agad kong kinuha ang isang gown at agad nagbihis. Pagkalabas ko ay agad akong sinalubong ni Leusam at hinalikan ng napakatamis sa pisngi bago ako pinasuot ng kulay black na mask.

"You look so beautiful that I could lay my eyes on you for the rest of my life," he whispered before wrapping his arms around my waist and we headed to the party we'll be attending.

As we arrived a lot of rich people approached him and they talked about business which is not unexpected, this guy is a burn for business.

"Drinks ma'am," napalingon ako ng alukin ako ng drinks, I smile and nodded while getting a cup of wine. "El, let me introduce you to my friend," rinig kong sambit ni Leusam at hinila ang bewang ko paharap sa kanila.

I gasp with no sound when I face them and I suddenly feel grave pain when I meet his gaze. No way. "My love, this is my friend Ashton Del Mundo," he said. Yes, I know him, He's my brother.