BREATHIN

"You, you love it how I move you, you love it how I touch you, my one, when all is said and done, you'll believe God is a woman, and I, I feel it after midnight a feelin' that you can't fight, my one, it lingers when we're done, you'll believe God is a woman," fire of passion is running inside my nerves right now, the way I move my hips and waist in front of everyone.

I could feel the electricity that this kind of passion sends me, every grip on the pole, every trick setting me on blazing hostile. The heat from every beat of the music jammed my whole system, I could only move as the music told me to move.

Rowdy sound, cheer, clap, and perversely whisper surrounds me, as their money starts flying into the floor where I'm standing, they all thirst for my body, my movements, my gaze. They crave me like I was a delicate dessert served for their eyes.

Wild lust aura all around the place, I slowly move down, kneel in front of them, spread my legs, and slowly pull down the strap of my dress.

"You, you love it how I love you, you love it how I touch you, my one, when all is said and done, you'll believe God is a woman, and I, I feel it after midnight, a feelin' that you can't fight, my one, it lingers when we're done, you'll believe God is a woman" I linger my fingers, seducingly play with it as they all yearn for me.

I moved like I was the most delicate woman they ever wanted, slowly pulling my dress down revealing my red hot two-piece. This man's money rained on me, I lay down on the floor, moving my hips and waist well as I hugged this money that could save my Tabi.

I close my eyes lip my chest up, and move with the music, the intense lust and seduction that the music express makes me heat up, it's flourishing all over me, I fire up and pull the pole, lifting up my body above and did a butterfly trick, slowly swing around the pole in that position until I reach the inches of the stage floor.

They all shout out of amusement; I gasp for air as I finish the music and stand up in front smirking at everyone before I step out of the stage and head to the staff room.

I sat on my chair and Rie looked at me, "Ok ka lang?" tanong niya sa akin habang inaayos na ang sarili dahil siya na ang susunod na sasayaw, I nodded and drink water, what I felt out takes away my energy, like all my passion consume my strength for a small amount of time.

"El," I look at Ma'am Cherille when she entered the room and call my name, I stood up and walk towards her, she handed me a big amount of money and say, "32k lahat yan, hindi na ako kumuha ng hati, ilaan mo na lang sa anak mo ang lahat ng iyan," she said, tapp my shoulder before looking at Rie.

"Rie ikaw na ang susunod labas na," she said, Rie walked towards me and held my hand, She urged a small smile and stepped outside. I take a deep breath after looking at the money I have. Kulang ito, tiningnan ko si Ma'am Cherille na palabas na sana ng silid.

Mabilis ko siyang nilapitan at hinawakan sa kanyang mga kamay, huminga ako ng malalim bago nagsalita, "Ma'am Cherille open po ako sa private service ngayon," I said, that cause her to stop and face me. "Hindi pwede magagalit si Justine," she said.

Mas hinigpitan ko ang pagkakahawak ko sa kanyang kamay at nagmamakaawang sinabi, "Please let me do private service, I need this for my daughter," I beg.

She let out a heavy sigh before she rested her shoulders down and look straight into my eyes, "Hintayin mo ako dito," bulong niya at agad lumabas, I sat back in my seat and pray hard.

I really and badly need money to earn tonight, mga ilang minuto lamang ay bumalik si Ma'am Cherille at mabilis akong nilapitan. "Tara na," she whispers and turns her back on me, as I follow her.

Lumabas kami ng staff room at paglingon ko sa stage ay agad nagtama ang aming mga mata ni Rie, I saw how she stop for a second and connect with me, with those stares. I smiled at her and gave her an OK sign before I went up the stairs.

Parang walang pinagbago ang buong lugar, parang ganun pa rin ang pakiramdam ko nung una akong pumunta dito, tumuloy kami sa tapat ng VIP door, I exhale silently before I glance at Ma'a Cherille.

"Iiwan na kita dito," she said, I nodded at her like a professional lady, and faced this door without any fear, because the only thing that I'm scared of right now is my Tabi's condition.

Nang hawakan ko ang door numb ng pinto natigilan ako ng biglang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko, I could feel the intense aura inside this room, behind this door and it makes my knees weak and my body wobble. And there is this one only person that could make me feel weak like this but this is impossible.

"I can't be him, Louen," I whisper to myself and chuckled, isang malaking kalokohan iyon Louen.

For the last time, I let out a deep breath and opened the door, I gasped as the perfume that rules inside this room met my senses. I almost fell on the floor as the scent sank in me, faster than a glimpse of an eye.

Hindi ko pa nagagawang iangat ang aking tingin sa taong nasa loob at tila nauubusan na ako ng hangin sa aking buong katawan, I couldn't process gasping for proper air anymore. This can't be happening, this is not happening!

The power of this aura, I can't handle it, the authority it holds makes me weak and unmovable. My lips started shaking, my whole body trembled and an expected fear burst out. This can't be him, please tell me it's not him.

Nangingilid ang aking luha sa hindi malamang dahilan, habang sinusubukan kong palakasin ang aking sarili at harapin ito.

I deeply inhale, and my surroundings feel so silent, very silent to the point that it's the loudest silence I could ever hear. I grip my dress and try to endure this powerful aura and slowly lift my head up, and facing him.

"No," I whisper out of a weak soul and system. Hindi maaari!

Our eyes met again, after five long and hard years our eyes met again, and it feels like a nightmare. The nightmare that I keep on running away from, could be the last thing I could ask for, why do I need to see those eyes again?

My heart beats in an abnormal reaction and my whole world is moving so slowly, why him? There are a hundred men inside this bar, why him? I gaze at him from his shiny expensive leather Saint Laurent shoes. Up to his black pants and coat. His hand was filled with veins, up to his collar, neck, clenched jaw, thin lips, and grim eyes.

Tell me that this was just a dark nightmare, wake me up, and please don't let me see him. I begged inside of me, I prayed so hard and slowly closed my eyes.

"Where have you been, El?" my lips parted so weakly when I clearly heard his voice, n-no.

I gather all the strength I have and look him in the eyes and say, "It's none of your business," I utter and grip my dress even tighter. I can do this, don't let him know anything Louen, not even a single thing.

Was just sitting with his legs crossed in front of me, a powerful gesture of movement, he glanced at his watch before he looked straight into my eyes with that uninviting gaze. Then he leaned over, rested his arms on his thighs, and touched his lips teasingly.

"Everything about you is my business El," he utter dangerously and feared me that he might know a thing about my Tabi. I won't let that happen. "Why are you here?!" bakit ngayon ka pa nandito!!!

"I was waiting for you, didn't miss a day for five years." The tone of his voice shades a sense of anger, but it sounds gentle. Gentle yet dangerous. A tone that I would never ask to hear again.

Huminga ako ng malalim at buong tapang siyang tiningnan, "This is a joke, find another girl to reconcile with your lust," I uttered, and was about to turn my back on him when he speak again.

"Since you're finally back, let's continue what we started," he said, standing up and taking his step close to me. I wanna turn my back to him and run away but every sound of his shoe step makes me stiff in fear.

Please don't come close to me! "No," I answered instantly and stepped away from him, but instead of moving away from him he got my wrist and pulled me close to him, closed the door behind me, and pinned me at the back of it.

I gasped and avoided my gaze from him, he leaned closer and I could almost feel how warm his mint breath was on my back. "I look everywhere for you, I hunt any shadows that could lead me to you, I thirst for your gaze, I crave for your passion, I wait for your voice for a long five years and now you're refusing me." he darkly whispers, mas lumalalim ang paghinga ko ng tumama ang kanyang labi sa aking leeg.

I want to push him but both if my head remains weak in his chest. Hindi tama ito, mas lalo akong nanghihina dahil sa sobrang lapit niya, I don't want to be under his authority. I need to move.

"Yes, I refuse you," I whisper and push his chest away but it was too weak and I could only push him an inch away from me. He's still too close, so he catches my gaze and I can't turn back. Shit! This is his trap Louen!

"Layuan mo ako at aalis na ako, hindi ko gagawin ang service na ito," I fearlessly said and show him how true I'am to my words. "Hundred thousand," he uttered and didn't cut out his gaze.

"Hundred thousand for you to stay, 1 hour is enough," he whispered, stepped backward, slid his hand down to my hands, and gently pulled me to sit on the couch.

Hundred Thousand is a big help for my Tabi's condition, nangpumasok na sa usapan ang pera parang nawala lahat ng takot ko at tanging si Tabitha na lamang ang inisip ko.

After this Louen he's gone. Stay for Tabi, sambit ko sa aking sarili at malalim na nagbuntong hininga. "Fine," I said and pushed him to sit like what my job is supposed to be.

I'll dance for him and that's it. He stares at me and watches every movement I do. Intensely gaze at me as I hold the pole. My heart is pounding like crazy and I know he's the fucking reason why. I wish that after this I won't see you again. You look like a walking nightmare to me.

I walk to the music controller here inside and play the music. Walk towards the pole and hold it while I stare at him, he just looks at me until I start.

"Some days, things just take way too much of my energy, I look up and the whole room's spinning, you take my cares away, I can so overcomplicate, people tell me to medicate," I close my eyes and start dancing around the pole. I wanna dance with my eyes closed because I know once passion contains my blood, his gaze will make me weak and trapped in his arms.

"Feel my blood runnin', swear the sky's fallin', how do I know if this shit's fabricated? Time goes by and I can't control my mind, don't know what else to try, but you tell me every time," I lift up the pole and start doing tricks with my eyes closed.

But I suddenly felt uncontrolled with the pole. That's why I was forced to open my eyes and do the trick with eyes open, our eyes met as I stepped down. And the chorus of the music hits.

"Just keep breathin' and breathin' and breathin' and breathin', and oh, I gotta keep, keep on breathin', just keep breathin' and breathin' and breathin' and breathin' and oh, I gotta keep, keep on breathin'," he's like an unknown source of energy that penetrates inside my whole nerves, and attacks my heart so fast.

It keeps beating so wild, he manipulates it like his own, just by those stares. I stopped for a second of time when I saw longing pass through his gaze, but I immediately knew that I was hallucinating.

"Feel my blood runnin', swear the sky's fallin', I keep on breathin', time goes by and I can't control my mind, I keep on breathin', mmm, yeah," the music finish and I grab the check on the table that cause one hundred thousand pesos.

"My job here is done," I said he quickly grabbed my hand, pulled me close to his face, and teased me with a soft kiss on the side of my lips, and whispered.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said and headed out first. I look at the door and weakly fall on the floor with my knees shaking, I breathe and whisper. "No."