"Well how else can we decide what to do?" Punkus asked.

"Thumb war?" Shaggy suggested.

John looked at him. The shrimp looked at him. Jesus looked at him. The Great Cow of Judgement ceased her conversation with Randy the Hip Crocodile and stared at him from Earth. The whole universe judged Shaggy.

"Oh. Right."

"There's no sense in breaking tradition. Let us proceed as we always have." With that, John turned his head, looked towards Punkus, and nodded ever so slightly. The air around John began to swirl and sputter, and then they were spat violently out of space – as an experienced seed-eater might spit sunflower seeds into a bin – and into the counter of a nameless suburban takeaway at lunchtime on a Tuesday afternoon.

They were the only beings there at that time, aside from a lone old woman who sat at a table in the corner, sipping tea from a shoe-shaped glass. She pushed a spoon around a bowl of broth, seemingly unaware of the presence before her.

John surveyed the takeaway. Aside from the hum of a fan behind the counter, and the faint buzz of electricity radiating from Shaggy, the place was silent. The air hung with the smell of chips and bacon. It was perfect.

"Like what's the plan this time?" A zap of lightning arced down Shaggy's arm, pooling at his hand in a molten orange ball. The lightning condensed, growing warmer and warmer by the second, until it formed a halloumi burger in a sesame seed bun.

"I decided the venue. It is John's turn to come up with a place to hold this battle. Or, is it quite possible, that John isn't quite the immortal he once was? Maybe that is why he delayed this encounter so." Punkus' words dripped with venom. She shook her head to get rid of it.

It had been millennia since the last battle of the Omnipotents of All and None – well, those faced with the necessity to battle in such a manner. Last time, the victor had been unclear, till the unanimous decision of John and Shaggy to combine their strength. The last thing they needed was for Punkus to allow humans access to all the colours of the shrimpian eye.

"The battle will take place from the window of this takeaway," John decided coolly. He dipped his head slightly to the right, which resulted in one of the four walls falling away, revealing that the takeaway was somewhere in space. There were nebulas in the distance, and dolphins trailing rainbows so strikingly bright, they were comets streaking through the dark.

"And for this battle, we will be using these." John tossed three monopoly game pieces, shaped like the three of them, into the Milky Way solar system, which the window faced from very, very, far away.

"Planet Pinball?" Shaggy asked, spinning his monopoly piece around the other two.

"Yes, precisely. Points will be tallied at the end by a very secret judge, who will not be known to any of us," John explained, adding "Punkus, you're up first."

In the corner, the old women poured her drink from the shoe into a surgical glove next to it. When she drank from the glove, her glasses fogged with steam.

Punkus picked an angle at random, and fired the monopoly piece. The piece spun through space, flying around the gravitational pull of Neptune, arcing straight through a cluster of comets, and scattering a drove of space pigs like bowling pins. The piece then shot out of sight beneath an asteroid belt, concluding Punkus' turn.

John was up next.

The head aimed carefully, straight at Pluto. He released his monopoly piece, sending the small figure arcing towards the dwarf planet. It collided harshly with Pluto's surface, turning the astro-body into the largest ever donut, non-glazed.

The piece then shot toward earth, dissolving asteroid and comets and invisible stars as it went, until it swept past Earth with a shattering boom that shuddered the planet on its axis. Instantly, all milk across the planet became milkshakes; complete with whipped cream and flakes. Those that were already milkshakes became cheeses, much to the surprise of anyone mid-drink.

The monopoly piece continued, ending with a collision with Mercury that sent it careening into the sun.

The competition continued in this way, with the secret and unbiased judge taking note of the scores through an unknown and unbiased scale.

It wasn't until the last of the three pieces given to each participant had disappeared out of sight that this judge revealed themselves.

The old woman in the corner, now having finished her second glove of fruit blend tea, stood stiffly and shuffled towards the participants.

"It was a clear win, to John of the Milky Way," she revealed, holding up three different coloured sets of what appeared to be lollipop sticks. There were three green, six red, and eight white. John had won the battle. 

Punkus sighed deeply, glaring at John. "So he has. What a terrible shame." She was to be batted into deep space once again, until she could find the battle ground for the next war. As God of the 9th realm, it wasn't often that Punkus got time to herself. Still, that didn't mean she appreciated the long journey to the meeting place.

John removed the tapestry he'd been given by Lizzie, and dropped it into Punkus' pincer-like hands. "I believe this is yours."

"What is this?" Punkus opened the tapestry, her beady eyes flitting across the image. John could feel the rage emanating from her as she realised what the tapestry showed. "Why you disrespectful little- "

"Like, NOW!" Shaggy exclaimed.

He and John combined their abilities, sending Punkus reeling into deep space. She careened backwards as if thrown by a powerful tidal wave, her final insults and threats lost to the vacuum of space.

They were not blind nemeses. They did not hate each other through spite, or a hunger for power, or anything of that sort. Rather, they were three sides of the illuminati triangle. None could exist without the other, no two could exist at the same time.

Though she had once again been thrown into the deepest of deep, expanding space, John had no doubt that Punkus Shrimp would one day return. If she did not, another would take her place. Maybe John would see his cousin once again, should he return from the immortal party of his father's palace.

John cast a final look Shaggy's way. Electricity sputtered over him. It was blinding to any individuals burdened with corneas.

"Like, that was fun man, but I gotta go. Till next time." Shaggy shot John a peace sign, and then he was swallowed by his own electricity, taking with him the only other sounds in that dark space.

It seemed high time for John to take his leave, too. With no further hesitation, John blipped out of existence.