I woke up with a massive headache. I don't feel like getting out of my bed. Wala na si Kavius sa higaan at mukhang pumasok na sa opisina.

"Naku! Ma'am Cream, nilalagnat ka!" tili ng isang kasambahay nang hatiran ako nito ng pagkain sa kwarto.

"Please, don't state the obvious. Can you please go get me some meds? Nasa trabaho na ba si Kavius?" marahang tanong ko. Parang bumabaliktad ang sikmura ko habang nakatingin sa mga pagkaing dinala ng kasambahay. I pushed it to the side. "Lugaw na lang ang kakainin ko."

"Umalis po ng bahay si Sir  kasama si Von." Anito at kinuha ang tray.

"Okay. Pakikuha ako ng gamot at talagang masakit ang ulo ko," sabi ko na lang.

Mainit na malamig ang nararamdaman ko. Halo-halo at nasusuka rin ako.

"Ma'am, dumating po si Sir Kavius at hinahanap kayo. Akala siguro ni Sir ay bumaba kayo," anito pagbalik.

"Tell him I won't be able to go outside."

"Sige po."

I helped myself up even though my world is turning upside down. Para akong lantang gulay. Naiiyak pa ako habang hinihipan ang mainit na lugaw na nasa harap ko. Sa tabi nito ay tubig at biogesic. Wala pang ilang segundo akong kumakain ay marahas na bumukas ang pintuan ng kwarto. Kavius walked towards me with worry visible in his non-earthly handsome face. Sinapo niya ang aking mukha ngunit agad ring lumayo na parang napapaso.

"Damn it, wife, you have a high fever. Shit! Von!" he hissed.

"This is... normal," ani ko ngunit hindi na napigilan ang sarili sa pag-iyak. I cried like a baby in front of him. Naging masuyo ang tingin niya sa 'kin at pinunasan ang luha ko.

"No, this is clearly not. Was I too..."

"Tangina mo manahimik ka!" agad na napalitan ng inis ang nararamdaman ko.

"Alright, wife, I'm sorry. Von! Tumawag ka ng ambulansya. May sakit ang asawa ko, pupunta tayo sa ospital."

I didn't even argue. I hate hospitals but with this state, I think I really should go and admit myself there. Tumalima si Von at agad na may tinawagan. Kavius scooped my hair and tied it into a bun. Saan ba kasi galing iyang mga pangtali niya?!

"Bakit ka bumalik?" I hoarsely asked.

"You're sick. What do you want me to do, hm, wife? Stay at the office and be crazy looking... thinking about you?"

"I'm okay, though. I can live."

"I wasn't planning to go work today. I want to stay in bed with you..."

"Nope, you shouldn't. I'll get mad."

"Yeah? And now you're in pain because of me."

"Sira!"

He let out a soft chuckle. "The ambulance is coming. I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't be."

"I feel like it."

Minutes later, we heard the loud siren of the ambulance. Pinangko ako nito at agad na tinakbo palabas ng kwarto. I feel like puking because of the shaking. Naaalog ang utak ko at mas lalo akong nasusuka.

"Kavius, please slow down. Nasusuka ako."

"I'm sorry, wife. I'm sorry."

Isinakay ako sa ambulansya. Napapaigik na lang ako sa sakit sa tuwing may malubak na daan kaming nadadaanan. Kavius never let go of my hand nor take his eyes off me. Even for a second, he didn't. He's sitting next to my stretcher with a worried face. I gave him a comforting smile to tell him I'm okay but he shakes his head, as if telling me doesn't agree.

"You are the first patient that I had with this... rare cause of flu. You'll be okay after a couple of days but we still need to run some tests. For now, you rest. And Mr. Cross, here are the medicines that you should buy outside for your wife. Rest your body, especially the bottom part, because that is the main reason why you're here, Mrs. Cross."

I pursed my lips, unable to utter any word. Nakakahiya. When you did the nasty-nasty and then you ended up in the hospital. How stupid is that?

Marami pang sinabi ang doktor sa amin. Mahigpit na hawak ni Kavius ang kamay ko at nakikinig sa sinasabi ng doktor. Nagbaba ako ng tingin sa kamay naming dalawa at agad na nag-init ang pisngi ko nang mapatingin sa kaniyang maugat na kamay. The veins were very damn visible.

"Sige na, bilhin mo muna ang mga gamot. I'll rest for a while," ani ko nang umalis ang doktor.

"No. I'll stay here. Von, go buy these things. I'm not leaving my wife," utos nito.

Hinila ko ang kamay niya at agad siyang napatingin sa 'kin.

"You are responsible for buying my meds, Kavius. Bakit mo inuutos sa iba? That's not good."

"I know, wife. But I won't leave you here alone. I'll stay here, okay?" he leaned in and kissed my forehead. "Hindi kita iiwan dito."

"If you say so," sukong sabi ko.

He instructed Von to buy the medications given by the doctor. I closed my eyes and not long after drifted off to sleep. The last thing I remembered was Kavius humming a song for me. It was melodious and I feel safe.

Kavius' actions makes me feel like I am worth everything. Dahil nararamdaman ko na para sa kaniya, mas mahalaga ako sa kahit ano mang bagay. It's me over anything else. I am the top priority. I sometimes think Kavius is too good to be true... or he is just too good for me. His actions scares me sometimes.

Paano kung biglang ayaw niya na sa akin? At ako naman na nasanay na sa kaniya ay magkukumahog para bumangon at harapin ang masalimoot na mundo mag-isa. It will be hellish. I don't think I have the strength to face the world without him with me. Ang corny ko na pero in love kasi ako e. Tao lang, nagmamahal rin.

Age is just a number, huh? It doesn't matter if the girl is older than the guy. It doesn't matter if I am older than him. I love my Kavius. Hindi nga pumapasok sa utak ko ang age difference namin.
Nagugulat na lang din ako sa tuwing pumapasok sa isip ko na 'ay hala, mas matanda pala ako sa asawa ko'. Hindi ko naramdaman na mas matanda ako sa kaniya. I am turning thirty.

I woke the next day feeling a lot better. I still feel like throwing up and my head is still throbbing but this time, it's bearable. Hindi katulad kahapon na para akong dinuduyan ng malakas.

"Wife?"

"Hm?" I faintly hummed.

"I love you."

"I know."

He chuckled and rested his head near my hand, facing my direction.

"Where's my I love you too?"

"Nire-request ba 'yan? 'Di ba dapat kusang binibigay?" I teased.

"You're rude."

"I'm kidding. I love you too."

"I'm sorry for putting you in this situation."

Marahang hinaplos niya ang kamay ko. Nangingitim ang ibaba ng kaniyang mga mata dahil siguro hindi ito natulog kakabantay sa akin. Hinaplos ko ang kaniyang buhok gamit ang kabilang kamay ko.

"You're really pretty," he smiled.

"Kahit walang make up? I look pale."

"You're pretty with or without make up. I'm not the only one who fancies the beauty you have, wife. Marami kami. You're a head turner. At gusto kong pilipitin ang leeg ng mga lalaking tumitingin sa 'yo." There was a hint of possessiveness in his raging hoarse voice. "You're too good for me."

And I feel the same.

"Hanggang tingin lang naman sila."

"Even so. I still want to shoot their eyes for looking at you."

"You can't do that," I chuckled.

"Of course, I can. They shouldn't fuck with me."

Nagtataka man sa inaakto nito ay ipinagsawalang bahala ko na lang ito. He still feels insecure over what? That I am his wife and that I'm too good for him? He shouldn't be feeling things like that. I should give him a lot of clear assurance... huh. He's not allowed to feel any goddamn insecurities when he's with me. Sa kaniya lang ako naga-gwapuhan ng husto bukod sa tatay ko na entitled. Biro lang.

"You should sleep. Binantayan mo ba ako buong gabi?"

"I did," he nodded. "You look prettier and prettier whenever I stare longer. Why am I feeling this way?"

"Denial ka kasi na maganda ako noon," maarteng napairap ako nang maalala kung paanong sinabi niya na pangit ako. I mean, he didn't tell me directly, but he insulted me in the most sadistic and sarcastic ways that he can.

"I asked them to bring the prettiest one. And you are the prettiest in my eyes. I only said that out of nervousness. Hindi ako nagagandahan sa ibang babae. There's no competition for you because you are the only woman I... damn, how do I say this? Sa 'yo lang ako nagagandahan? Something like that. Hindi ako nagagandahan sa ibang babae... o sa mga model at artista sa TV. Sa 'yo lang talaga. Ang ganda-ganda mo."

"Tama na nga! Para kang ewan."

"You easily blush whenever I say you're pretty. It's alright to be flattered, wife. Your feelings is valid and I understand that you feel that way."

"Ano?" umingos ako.

"Na kinikilig ka kapag sinasabi kong maganda ka. Which is very true, no doubt."

"Matulog ka na, please. Pakiramdam ko punong-puno na ako ng pagmamahal mo."

"Let's have alphabetical dates."

"Please elaborate," natatawang ani ko.

"Let's have a date in alphabetical order. For example, the letter A, let's have a date in an art gallery. Or B, beach date. Do you want that? Cause I badly want that with you."

"Of... course." I never knew feeling this happy can be hurtful too. Tuwang-tuwa ang puso ko to the point na parang kinukurot rin ito. "I want to do that too. Let's do that."

"Magpagaling ka agad. I'll list down whatever you want us to do later, okay?"

"Okay. You rest too."

"I will, wife. I will."

How can a person be a total green flag? It's scary. I can't see any red flag within my husband and it's scaring me. He could at least... have one.

*****