I had hundreds upon hundreds of unread text messages from just about anybody who could get my number. I had deactivated my Instagram account the moment I had gotten home. I had thought I had the strength to look at those posts again but I was wrong. 

One glance at the account and I was done with the social networking app. 

Thankfully no one was home to question my getting home early. Both mum and papa were at work. I figured if they actually did ask me why I was home early I could just say that I didn't have practice because there were no upcoming competitions. Seemed plausible enough. 

So that is what I did. When they found me home early for the next three days I just told them I didn't have to stay. They had gotten used to my getting home late since I often stayed late or went out with friends. 

There was no way I could tell my parents about what was happening. 

I mean out of both I was closest to my mother but that didn't mean I spent hours telling her about every single detail of my life. Sure she remained updated about the general ongoing stuff in my life but that was the extent of her insight. Like I'd mentioned, they were both not great conversationalists. They were pretty occupied on the professional front. 

Besides, getting them involved would only make things messier. I would deal with all of this when I had gathered myself back up. 

I had gotten good at pretending to be completely fine so dinner time wasn't anything out of the ordinary. 

Smriti had been giving me constant updates on the situation and I would reply to her occasionally. 

The account was taken down on the second day but the creator remained unknown. Red Wagon had issued a statement on their official Instagram page requesting people to report and block the account and not circulate false rumours about me, their talented junior and an upright member of Rhapsody who had won laurels for the college. 

Like that mattered to whoever had gone to such lengths. 

Vahni had been strangely quiet but it was probably because Smriti kept her updated. I still hadn't talked to anybody but her since the whole RedWagonSlut debacle. I felt a little guilty about worrying everybody else but I honestly did not have it in me to do anything about it. 

***

The morning of the fourth day I got a text message from Smriti that read:

Call me ASAP. Very Important. 

I decided it must have been important enough for her to text me this since she had been very mindful of my needing space. 

She answered almost instantly. 

"Hi Smriti," I said.

"Hi Meera, how are you doing?" she asked in the same gentle tone she had used three days ago. 

"I'm fine," 

"I am so sorry to bother you with this but if it were something we could handle ourselves, we wouldn't have bothered you at all. So Nirav took the matter to the college's Internal Complaints Committee and registered it under cyberbullying. All of us have given our statements. They just need your statement to move forward."

"Smriti I am grateful for everything you have done but I just don't think I am up for that." I sighed. 

Going back to college when the incident was so fresh in everybody's mind seemed too much. The account had been taken down but I am sure there was a huge archive of screenshots. 

"Meera, just come for a few minutes and you can leave right after. We will make sure you don't have to interact with anybody else." she pleaded.

But no matter how much she coaxed and bargained I couldn't bring myself to say yes. When she finally hung up I breathed a sigh of relief. I would obviously, eventually, give the statement that was required but it seemed unlikely that they would find the person responsible. Ultimately, it wouldn't matter if I gave my statement now, a week later or if I didn't give it at all. 

***

I had decided to also hide all of this from Sarah. She wasn't on Instagram so that made it easy enough. She had a lot of her own stuff she needed to deal with so I thought I'd be doing her a favour by keeping this one thing from her. 

So when she called me a few hours later, naturally, I pretended nothing was out of the ordinary. When she asked me why I was home I had my excuse ready to go, 

"Yeah, I just didn't feel well. Period cramps, you know." 

"Is that right? Don't you have another huge competition coming up?" she asked archly.

"Yes we do," I said.

"Meera, stop lying to me," she finally burst out frustratedly.  

My heart did a pointed little Thump! at her tone. 

"What do you mean?" I asked. Did she know? If she did then who had told her?

"I know Meera, I know. About the whole Instagram account thing. Why would you keep something like that from me? Did you honestly think I wouldn't find out? Just because we aren't in the same classroom does not mean anything has changed! We are best friends, damn it! Or have things changed for you and I am just not important enough?" she demanded. 

"No! Don't say that," I exclaimed. Tears stung my eyes and I wiped them away angrily, "You are my best friend, Sarah. I love you. Please don't say that."

"I love you too." she replied her tone softened now, "Look, the last thing I want to do is pile on. I can only imagine what these past days have been to you. Why didn't you call me? I would have come to you straight away."

"I just thought it would blow over in a few days and I had already involved you in enough drama,"

"Have I ever given you a reason to ever hold back from me?"  

"I'm sorry," I exhaled.

"You don't need to apologize. Just tell me you have been coping with it well?" she said.

"Well, I am fine," I said and then added, "Mostly. Just hiding out here till the buzz dies down in college." 

"The buzz will die down but it won't be for a while. Do you intend to not go to college at all?" 

"Then I don't really know what I am supposed to do? You should've seen the way they were all looking at me," I said.

"The first thing you do is march your butt down to the college and give your statement. It'll be no use if you delay the whole process," she began.

"Wait, how do you know about that--" I tried to ask but she went on.

"No, do not interrupt. That is not important. What is important is that you are a strong woman Meera. If a lowlife POS wants to stalk you and post pictures of you then they should be the ones hiding out. You will go there and give your statement and shut anybody who passes comments up. You have nothing to be ashamed of, afraid of or hide from." 

I absorbed everything she said and nodded, then realizing she couldn't see me I said,

"Yes, you are right. I will go in tomorrow."

"Alright! She's back!" she cheered and then her voice dropped an octave, "I can't wait till they find the person behind it all. I will rip. them. apart." 

I mock shuddered and laughed. Sarah laughed too but then said,

"I am serious,"

I amused myself for a moment by imagining my tiny best friend trying to physically intimidate anyone. 

"I know you are. Thank you for this. I needed it."

"Of course, Meera. Hey, meet me tomorrow after college. We can decide on the place later."

"Yes. let's do that."

"Bye, I'll see you."

***

I was better at dressing up for an incognito excursion than I thought I would be. I wore yoga pants and a plain black t-shirt along with a baseball cap. Then I kept my head down and reached college on the early side so only a few students were in. 

I slunk through the corridors and took a seat near the administrative offices trying to keep a low profile. The memory of walking out that day was still fresh in my mind. When the office staff finally started arriving I made my presence known to the PA. He looked at me and nodded. I waited as he made a few calls and then said,

"Principal ma'am will be coming in late. You will have to come back at 10:00 am along with your teacher in charge."

"Is there no way I can just give my statement and be done with it? Do I have to wait for all these people?" I asked. 

How would I kill this time in college? I didn't even know our department's teacher in charge personally. How would I get in touch with her? 

"They have to be present for the meeting," he shrugged and resumed working. 

I had no choice but to leave. I debated on whether I should leave campus or stay. It was too early for anything to be open so where would I even go? I didn't have a morning class today but even if I did, that would be the last place I would go willingly. My options were the canteen, which was too crowded, one of the empty classrooms, which would drive me crazy, the garden behind the canteen, where I ran the risk of running into someone, more importantly, anybody from Rhapsody. 

I mulled upon my options and decided I would rather run the risk of bumping into someone than sit in an empty classroom staring at the walls. Besides, they all didn't come this early and when they did, it was because they had class. 

I took the long route around the building and chose a spot farthest from the crowd and settled down. 

I composed a text telling Smriti that I was here in college and that I needed to contact our department's teacher in charge for the upcoming meeting. Then I typed out another one to Shweta, the department president, asking her for Dr Mittal's number so I could contact her. 

Shweta replied instantly and mercifully didn't ask for a reason or mention the incident. I made the call which was short and to the point. Dr Mittal told me she'd meet me outside the office at 9:45 am and I thanked her. 

For half an hour I was lost in the book I was reading and forgot everything I had been so anxious about until I felt someone sit down next to me. I froze, dreading whoever it was. So many prospective people ran through my mind but when I turned around to check, it was someone who I couldn't have dreamt would come seek me out.

Deepani.

For a moment she didn't look at me and took her time properly draping herself and her belongings as I had noticed she often did. I gaped at her and then looked around to see whether Shreyas was around somewhere since they were practically attached at the hip. I couldn't find him, neither could I find anybody else. 

"Hi," she said finally. 

It took me a second to respond because this was extremely baffling. Deepani had never, in all the months I had known her, initiated a conversation with me. Sure, we had talked but it was always as a part of the group with others as buffers and mediums for our conversation. 

"Hi, Deepani," I replied. I couldn't just straight up ask her what she was doing here.

"How have you been? You haven't been coming to college right? I tried to text you several times but you didn't answer," she went on. 

Deepani had been texting me? 

"Sorry, I haven't checked social media since..." I trailed off.

"Look Meera. I know you feel weird about this interaction but I need you to hear me out," she said, "I feel like I owe you an apology."

"What for? You haven't been the one stalking me and plastering my face with vile commentary on Instagram." I said bitterly. 

"No I haven't but I also haven't been the kindest person to be around. We have spent a fair bit of time together and I have always treated you like an outsider, like somebody other than our group. It took all that for me to realize this, but I know what it is like to be in your position." 

She looked at me earnestly and placed her hand on my own. 

"When I started dating Shreyas in our first year Red Wagon was just starting out so the intensity of it all was low. When at the end of the year we finally became a thing, the boys had reached that level of popularity that seems to bring adoration and envy in equal measure. I was the easy target for all the negativity and for the rest of the year, I bore it."

I stared at her. This was a completely different Deepani than the one I had known. She continued.

"I thought I was being strong trying to hide all of this from Shreyas but trust me we are all better off together. When they all stood up for me I felt the burden dissipate. The support made it all seem worth it. That was when I realized that they were all I needed and if I had their friendship I would be fine. Over time my feeling of gratitude and contentment turned into protective behaviour and reticence. This has become my default mode and I may not have been particularly nice to you."

I was in awe of her speech. I hadn't expected to receive any sort of support or words of comfort from her but here she was, baring her soul to me completely voluntarily. 

"Wow, Deepani. I didn't know you went through all of this too. I mean I look at you two and think you have always been together." 

She smiled at me. 

"Thank you," 

Then her expression turned solemn once again,

"Now I may not have had someone do that to me but there is no one who understands what you've been through better than I do. Turning away from everybody is not healthy at all. Meera you are an amazing woman and someone has to make you understand that all that hate you received is envy. Envy is a very potent emotion and it takes many forms. You will derive your strength from your friends. Please don't isolate yourself. I know you feel like assigning blame at this moment but the only person at fault is the creator of that account. We need to stand together, find them and give them hell."

I smiled at her gratefully, tears swimming in my eyes. She smiled back and enveloped me in a hug. Everything felt infinitely better. 

"Now come on. The boys are worried sick about you. If you hadn't come in today we would have shown up at your house. Only Smriti has been able to hold them back the past few days," she said. 

I laughed picturing Smriti lecturing them about giving me time and space. 

"Anybody who even rubs us the wrong way is going to get hell," she promised again and then delivered on her promise by proceeding to chew out a boy who dared to whistle at us in the canteen. 

Everybody stared at her in stunned silence as she yelled at him and then announced,

"If we find anybody, and I mean anybody, making inappropriate comments or gestures at Meera they will be receiving hell from all of us. Needless to say, they might also be expelled for bullying and/or sexual harassment. Inform everybody you know and make sure this spreads around the college as fast as the link of that profile was circulated." 

As we walked out of the canteen I could hear murmurs starting back up but that didn't bother me anymore. Nobody met my eye and I held my head up high. 

A warm sort of affection and gratitude coursed in my heart for Deepani and I knew at that moment that I had found a friend for life.