Early monday morning as I was regretting the ultimate embarrassment that is my life and the letter I wrote, I found out that my letter wasn't published.

To be perfectly honest, I'm relieved. The last letter would've seemed less embarrassing if my latest was published, since the publication probably decided to drop it, I decided I'll stop.

I'll find another way to confess my feelings to Bobbi, something less embarassing. Besides, last Saturday was amazing and I can't wait to see her.

Just kidding, I'm dreading the moment we see each other, I want to freak out. What do I do? Do I act casual? Do I act like we're just friends? Did the date mean something to her or was it just special for me? I mean, I would love it if things could simply carry on from that night but it's never simple with girls and with what happened with Red Montgomery, I'd bet she won't easily get into a relationship.

But that leaves me back  to square one. How do I find out if she wants to continue dating me or not? Oh god, will she turn me down the moment I see her along the halls or in the publication office?

Aaron snatched the school paper away from me, which I was staring blankly at for the past few minutes as I was swallowed in by my own thoughts. "What's your problem? I thought you were relieved?"

"I am." I replied, my attention still not a hundred percent.

"Then what the hell are you staring at?" He asked in confusion, looking at the newspaper.

"Nothing, just thinking.." I replied, shaking my head slightly.

"About..?" He pressed on, waving his hand like he's telling me to go on.

I looked up at him for the first time after flipping through the paper and finding out that my article was not published. "What if the date didn't end as great as I thought? What if she felt different?"

Aaron looked at me as if he was trying his best not to laugh. He was trying his very best not to annoy me because I've just had my first date and he was proud of me. He even congratulated me because according to him, 'I'm finally a man.' I was offended but decided to let it go.

"Did you smile enough?" He asked sternly.

"I think so?"

"Did you talk about a lot of things?"

I nodded.

"Were you polite?"

I nodded again.

"Did you get the chair for her?"

Another nod.

"Did you compliment her?"

I started to nod and then shook my head. "What? I thought it was given! She looked amazing as always, it's not something I have to point out!"

Aaron smiled mockingly but he made no teasing remarks. "It was probably good. Dude, she'd be crazy not to like you!"

"What makes you think so? It's not like I'm something to brag about." I said bitterly. If I just joined in more school organizations, maybe she could've liked me more.

Aaron rolled his eyes.

"Man, just shut up. You know you're better than the rest of us, just stop hyperventilating over nothing." It feels great that the guy's trying to cheer me up but I still couldn't shake off the feeling that something will go ultimately wrong. "Go to the stupid office later and just be casual, see how she acts. That's what you gotta do."

I nodded. It sounded like a plan but it's still so scary.

Just as Aaron suggested, I went to the office. There were more students in front of the office now that the letter stopped unlike when it was still being published.

I went in, although I struggled because the crowd was aggressive. Bobbi smiled when I got in. "Pretty weird with them outside, right?"

I grinned. "Yeah, but it is Paul Hall."

She agreed and looked back to what she was doing. She looked cute when she's focused on her work.

"Um, hey, just wondering," I said awkwardly, not knowing how to start this. She looked at me expectantly so I had to continue this now. "So, you remember the date we went on last saturday right?" I stopped, I really don't know where I'm going with this.

She nodded. "Pretty well, yeah." She said, obviously trying to stifle a laugh. I think, maybe, my stupidity about it all amuses her.

"Okay, so, um, on a scale of one to ten, how well did it go, in your opinion?" I said slowly, hoping I didn't sound too ridiculous because this is going somewhere, I swear.

She bursted out laughing. "Is this a survey?"

I nodded shyly, regretting opening my mouth at all even if I am about to ask her out again. She just have to say she liked our first date so I could have courage to ask again.

"I'd say, 9.5. You can't be too perfect after all." She said with a shrug, looking back at her work as if what she said was no big deal when it was the biggest deal, in my opinion.

I grinned, a little bit at ease now. Oh my freaking goodness, she thought it went well! I don't care if it wasn't a ten, she still freaking enjoyed it! Hell yeaaaah! "So if I were to ask you out again, the answer would be..?" I asked, trailing off. Hoping she'd want to go out again.

"Yes." She replied instantly, looking at me seriously. I tried not to jump in joy right then and there.

"Really?"

She laughed. "Yeah."

I frowned. "Why?"

She laughed even more, as if I was making her day. I had no clue why but I was glad she's laughing because of me. "Because I like you." She said simply, probably oblivious to the fact that my heart stopped beating in that moment.

I felt envious towards how easily she said it. If only I could do the same and not make a big deal about liking her. "You do? As in, really, why would you even like me?"

"Because you're adorable." She said teasingly.

"Okay, you do realize that I took the 'because I like you' statement as a romantic statement right? And not just a brother sister kinda statement so why am I just adorable?"

She doesn't realize what she does to me though, I don't speak a lot and now I'm even playing around, trying to be cute or funny just for her. This girl is trouble and I still like her!

She grinned at me. "You're really cute when you're clueless."

I groaned. "Cute and adorable? Aaron told me I'm screwed if that's what you'll say." I pouted at her, hoping to the greatest God that I did look cute or adorable or both instead of looking plain ridiculous.

She laughed wholeheartedly. "Don't tell me you're asking Aaron Wade for dating tips, he's never had to ask a girl out." And that was a cold, hard fact. He didn't even have to ask Rachel out seriously, he just said some ridiculous line and then they were dating.

"But he does have a girlfriend so surely he's done something right." I said, trying to defent Aaron because if I don't then nobody in this entire world would.

She chuckled. "I guess so."

"Have you eaten?" I asked suddenly, I wanted more time with her and being stuck in the office made her attention just half to me and half with her work. I wanted her full attention, I wanted her laughing and smiling at me and that was almost impossible here when she's trying to finish her work.

She shook her head and I saw it as an opportunity. "Do you want to eat lunch with me then?"

She grinned. "A total middleschooler move but sure." She teased again.

God, she's amazing. She doesn't even find me awkward and that is a relief because I was born awkward.

The crowd outside had slightly lessened which is a relief but when Bobbi came out the few that were there started throwing questions. "Did you find out who he is?" "Why did he stop?" and a bunch of other things which she completely ignored.

They turned to me, they asked if I knew who it was, why I joined the publication and all those crap and I only had one say, "Whoever wrote it probably finally got embarrassed."

It was true.

Bobbi and I headed to the cafeteria and I totally ignored Aaron. I knew for a fact that he was grinning at me and I didn't want to see his mocking face.

We sat on an empty table and we were talking awhile before I asked, "Do you want anything?" being casual for once.

She shrugged. "I don't enjoy cafeteria food much."

I smiled, I totally felt the same way! "So why did you agree to go with me then?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.

"You're cute when you eat," She remarked, not even a little ashamed of admitting it. "You're trying to eat slowly just to be polite but I could tell you're having a hard time. To answer your question, I just wanted to see that again."

I grinned, I've never thought anyone would like anything about me. I'm not including Aaron because it's his job to like at least a little something about his best friend. "Totally an Edward Cullen line but I'll take it." I told her with a wink.

I wanted to laugh at myself, never in my entire existence have I ever winked at anyone intentionally.

She laughed but she definitely didn't blush at that, as if I don't affect her at all. I had no game at all. "Just go get your food." She said, shaking her head as she continued to laugh.

I liked making her laugh, her kaleidescope eyes seem to glitter even more than it already does when she's laughing and it's so cute when it happens.

I went to fall in line and Hannah was there yet again. "You and Bobbi, huh?" She asked, wagging her eyebrows at me teasingly.

I grinned. "You think she likes me?"

She snorted at me, as if she found this all funny. "Probably, she's eating lunch with you, isn't she?"

"Well, yeah, but maybe she's just trying to be polite."

She giggled. "Jesse, how long are you gonna stay clueless about girls? She likes you, she hasn't gone out with someone for so long, you're the first after Red, obviously she likes you. Go figure."

"Why would she like me though?" I asked, sincerely looking for an honest answer. Maybe if someone else besides Aaron and Rachel tells me then I'd believe it.

"Well, duh. You're like one of the few nicest guy here, girls likes good guys." Oh, just because I'm nice? Well that sucks because, like, I have moments of weakness where I turn into a complete asshole, I blame it on the crowd I'm hanging out with.

"Look who's talking, little miss badass-motorcycle-dude-waiting-for-you-everyday."

She blushed. "Hey, that's different!"

I raised my eyebrow, trying not to laugh. She looked like she genuinely liked the scary guy that waits for her every dismissal.

"Whatever mr.crushing-on-the-editor-in-chief." She said, laughing at me when it was my turn for the blood to rush up my face. "Hold on a minute, you like writing right?"

She knew because I often got lost in writing during some of our classes. I nodded.

"And you like Bobbi." She said, more thinking to herself than talking to me. "And she's head editor." Her eyes got wide in disbelief. "Don't tell me you wrote that!"

I tried to look calm at what she suddenly said.  "Wrote what?"

She snorted at me. "Ah, Jesse, you are so funny but that was a freaking patethic move so stop it and do something more romantic."

I stared at her in disbelief. How could she have figured it out that fast? "Hey, don't tell anyone."

She grinned. "Not telling but I am gonna collect." She winked before leaving me on the line after taking her meal.

After buying myself and Bobbi a sandwich and some drinks, I went back to our table, only to find Aaron sitting there. Jeez, the guy will ruin it for me. What is he even trying to accomplish by sitting there?

I sat down close to Bobbi since he was already occupying my space, giving him a pointed look even if Bobbi looked amused and didn't seem like Aaron's done something bad. Yet.

"Hey buddy." He greeted, smiling wickedly at me. He said somethig he's proud of, I can tell. Ugh, that doesn't mean it's good, he's not one to have good words come out of his mouth often.

"Hi." I replied, not too friendly. "What.. are you doing here?"

He snorted, obviously catching on that I didn't want him here. "Just keeping your girl company, is all."

Heat rushed up to my face and I wanted so bad to kill Aaron. Why would he even say that she's my girl out loud like that! That could scare her away, damn the guy.

He left us alone then and I looked at Bobbi to try and see if my best friend scared her away. "What did he say?" She only smiled at me, that 'you're adorable' smile she gave me earlier. I groaned internally, she looked so freaking cute. "It's something bad, isn't it?"

She shook her head. "Actually, he was talking you up."

I narrowed my eyes. "And how exactly was he doing that?"

"He was just saying that you're a good guy even if you hang out with assholes like them. Don't worry, I believed him."

I laughed in relief. I'm still gonna kill the guy, though.

"Told you he isn't the best guy to ask for romantic advice." She said, shaking her head in amusement. I'm just glad that I haven't blown it so far.

I grinned at her. She's just totally incredible, this girl. "I guess not." I tried not to stare too much so I handed her the sandwich and juice. "Thought you'd want something to eat, I mean, almost all the food sucks but the sandwiches they sell are at least a little decent."

She looked gratefully at me and accepted it. We talked as we ate and she asked me how Aaron and I even became friends, I told her we went way back and told her all about how it was when we were kids.

"Hmm, maybe he's not a total ass." She commented as I finished my story.

I laughed at that comment. Everyone does think he's an asshole. I think I may be the only one that doesn't think so. Most of the time. Aside from Rachel, of course.

The conversation went on easily and we had several topics and I was so damn glad that I didn't stutter.  "Wow." she said after I rambled on and on about amazing books going unnoticed when it should be given the proper recognition it deserves.

"What?" I asked curiously, wondering why she was staring at me like she was watching a movie or something.

"Nothing, I just don't think anyone's heard you talk that long." She said, suddenly smiling at me.

I smiled back, she was probably right about that.

"Why don't you talk a lot though?" She asked curiously.

I looked at her honestly, "Because I'm scared that if people found out half the things I'm worrying about all the goddamn time then they'd want to get rid of me. Listening is easy, everyone wants to be heard, afterall. Talking kind of risks security, it gives people the opportunity to hate you and I just want to get out of high school without all the cliche drama."

"Not everyone would hate you if you spoke your mind, Jesse."

I smiled at her because she's right. "That's why I do talk, just not in front of most people. I mean, I do play around sometimes with, you know, the foootball players, I make fun of them and they make fun of me, that kinda thing, but I keep out of people's business most of the time and you know, just, listen to whatever they want to brag about because it's a lot harder to talk about yourself. I don't know how others does it all the time."

The students went to their classes one by one and we continued talking. In all honestly, I loved it. I've never spoken to a girl and talked continuously for so long. She kept me talking, I think she liked hearing my thoughts and I liked letting her.

"You think whoever wrote those articles got embarrassed?" She asked suddenly, a few minutes after our coversation ended. She was looking at me as if she's studying my reaction.

I bit my lip and nodded, I forgot she heard that when I said it and I hoped I didn't give anything away.

"What makes you think so?" She asked seriously, she sounded like she's actually interested in my answer.

"Uh, well, it's obvious, isn't it?" I don't want to say much, afraid that I'd get caught.

She tried not to laugh, she looked cute when she's trying not to. "It was obvious." She agreed and looked at me seriously. "It was sweet that you did that."

My eyes widened. "Did what?"

"Sending that." She said non—chalantly.

My whole body went cold. She knows. How does she know? I dropped my head on the table out of pure embarrassment, groaning. "And this was going so well." I said, my voice muffled from under the table. I actually thought I'd get away with it, I thought I could make her like me first before I reveal the stupid submission. Guess that's down the drain.

She laughed and it sort of vibrated in my ears and my heart started fluttering. "It still is." She assured but I didn't dare look at her nor did I want to get up from hiding my face. "Your ears are red." She teased and started rubbing my ears playfully.

My whole body had chills when she did so and my heartbeat increased like a bomb that would  blow up soon. "How d'you find out?" I asked in exasperation, my voice still muffled.

"I saw you push it in." She said easily, as if that sort of weirdness didn't bother her at all.

I groaned, I thought nobody saw!

I usually dropped it on Fridays and usually two hours after dismissal so almost everybody's partying and I had a lesser chance of getting caught. Out of all the people who could've seen, she's the one who did. God, I sucked.

I slowly looked up at her, half my face still burried in my tangled arms. "What did you think?"

She grinned. "I thought it was sweet."

I closed my eyes, my face burning. Out of all the people on earth, why couldn't I have been created like a cool and composed guy, why did I have to be the awkward teenager that can't even do something right?

"Hey." She said, making me look at her. "It was cute."

She bit her lip in this cute kind of way and smiled at me, looking so much like an angel. She moved her hands from my ear to my chin and leaned down to kiss me.

I hid my face again, not knowing what to do. FREAKING EFFING WEIRDO FRICK FRACK.

Ugh. motherfucker. I just can't do anything without messing up, can I?

I looked up sheepishly, my face redder than red. She looked surprised and I felt so bad. "I'm sorry, it's just, I've never kissed anyone before and I might turn you off if you kiss me and you don't like it."

She got over the surprise and whole-heartedly started laughing, catching on to what I said. "You can't be bad at it." She assured, shaking her head.

"So if I'm bad, you're not going to hold it against me?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at her.

She snorted. "No, I promise."

My heart was beating so fast and I didn't want to be nervous because she isn't but damn, I still was. She leaned in as I did and oh my freaking god, my heart wanted to blow up in that instant.

When our lips collided, I tried not to gulp and let her guide me through it. I felt her touch my jaw and I moved closer to her as if she hasn't already completely taken over my senses. As realization hit me, I couldn't help but smile against her lips, I was freaking kissing her!

I could die a contented man.

When it was over, I could see the blush forming on her face but I didn't care, my whole face was still burning too. I smiled at her, unable to contain my happiness.

I just kept smiling and smiling and smiling. She mirrored my exact expression and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach double.