Dear you,

I've only ever stared at your eyes once and I'd like to say that it was a beautiful moment and that it was perfect but it was honestly awkward for me because I don't like staring into someone else's eyes, I feel like I'm invading somebody's soul. I felt like I invaded yours. But there was something in your eyes that made me stare deeper and deeper into it. I don't know how you felt during that moment but I'll tell how I did.

It felt like entering another world. Yours. And It took me so long before I even wanted to get out of it. I like that world within your eyes, I hope you'd share it with me sometime.

Love,

your one and only stranger.

It was cheesy and it was crap. I hated what I wrote that I wanted to go straight to the pub and say, 'look, it's too cliche so just stop printing the stuff.' I mean, I did feel that way but reading it made me feel like so stupid and cheesy. How did I even manage to write the stupid thing?

And now that I think about it, how many people's eyes does she stare into everyday? I might've been the only one that day and she'd find out. Damn, I don't think I'm ready for that yet.

The people outside the office were doubled on Monday and a few still hung around even though It's already Friday, I noticed this as I walked to my locker. I don't know why they still think the stuff is real, I mean I know for a fact that the letters were real but they don't. For all they know it could really be a publicity stunt, like Aaron put it before he knew.

During free period, I decided to drop by the office just to see her. But my official reason was to 'help out.' I smiled widely when I saw her. She looked breathtaking as usual.

"Hey." She greeted. "Glad you had the time."

We've talked a couple of times and she was funny and cutecwhen she laughed at my jokes but everytime I go there, I don't know how to start the conversation and I panic all over again.

I'm confident, I can talk to her. I can talk to her. I can!

I shrugged. "Free period." I looked around and frowned. Nobody's there besides her. Cue my nerves.

"Everybody else's in class. I got free period too." She informed me. "Biology class' too much work. The teacher assigns a lot of work so I had to cut off on classes.."

"Yeah, I had the same problem, actually." I agreed because that's the only reason I had a free period.

"Oh right, we're on the same class, maybe we could go together later."

I nodded and managed a quiet "That'd be cool." before I decided that I wanted to kill myself. I couldn't even manage a proper 'Sure, that's fine.' WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

Maybe it's just me but she stared at me a lot while we worked on next week's article and I caught her lots of times too. Maybe it's payback for my staring the last time.

"So.. why did you want to join the publication?" She asked, striking up a conversation. This was on the test she gave me before letting me into the org.

"I'm not really into anything but writing.. I hadn't really thought of joining until one of my friends suggested it so yeah, I kinda realized this is a good opportunity for me."

"To be published?" She asked.

She probably even knew it wasn't thay, I've been here for weeks but I haven't submitted anythig, afraid that she'd see the similarities of my work from the submission.

"Well, yeah... I guess." I answered but I got nervous at the sound of her saying publish because my mind immediately jumped to my letters for her. "How about you?"

"I loved writing and I wanted to explore more of it and as if by some miracle, I was elected as the EIC." She smiled and looked back at the paper she was proofreading. "Actually, I sold my soul to satan be the EIC,  kind of regretting it now, this is freaking hard work."

I grinned at her, I really liked it when she joked around me.

"Um.." I began to speak but I stopped myself because this is a stupid thing to ask. Not yet you idiot. For all the idiots in the world's sake, shut your trap. But she was already looking expectantly at me, I can't not say anything. "Um... this weekend - or tomorrow, I guess - are you really busy or would you maybe go see a movie with me?"

She frowned and for a moment I though she was going to reject me until she spoke. "I never said I was busy."

I knew that chances are she wasn't really busy but both last week and this week the stupid 'Aldrin' guy asked her out and both times she said she was. "Well, not to me.. but you said to that -" I almost said Eric, damn it! "Aldrin guy that you were."

"Oh! That! No, I'm sorry... he's just been trying to ask me out for years - I've always told him no but he couldn't get the idea - so I lied. Sorry, I feel awful for lying now." 

I smiled, I couldn't help it. She didn't like the guy! Ans she told me somethig she wouldn't have admitted to most people, I felt so happy. But she also hasn't answered my question, does that mean she doesn't like me either?

"To answer your question, a movie sounds nice on a Saturday." I decided to remember that moment forever, the way she sounded sincerely up to it and the way she looked at me eagerly was the best look I've ever seen.

I grinned widely, I still couldn't help it. "Great.. I'll pick you up at your place, what..?"

"Maybe 7-ish?" She asked, wrinkling her nose as she thought it through. She does that a lot when she's thinking.

I nodded. "That's perfect." And I could feelxa lump in my throat because she freaking said yes!

We didn't talk afterward but it was fine by me. I don't know about her but I liked the silence that came afterward, it didn't feel awkward to me for the first time, It actually felt calm and comfortable and I loved that moment.

We did walk together to bio and I had to force myself not to grin like an idiot and be too obvious. I don't know if anybody noticed but there were few moments where I'd grin like a total dumbass before I remembered I shouldn't.

I sighed when we were almost at the classroom, we were a seat apart and that sucked. "Why the long sigh?" She asked with this cute little smile.

"Because I got Devon Shmidt as a lab partner and she's beginning to creep me out more than usual." I thought I was being rude and almost slapped myself for saying something like that in front of her but she laughed as if she actually knows how it feels.

"Mine's not any better, I got Ricky Riley." I wrinkled my nose because the dude annoyed me more than most people.

"Yeah, I guess not." I said as I opened the bio door for her.

She smiled gratefully at me and all I could think was 'Marry me please.'  "If it makes you fee any better though, there's also a project pairing and we get to choose."

"Another pairing? Damn, I don't have my friends in this class, I'm gonna end up without a pair." I said, without thinking it through.

"I know, chances are I'd end up with Ricky again." She said with a sigh.

"Well, how about - um - you and I just pair up?" Twice. I've put myself 'out there' twice and both times were nerve wrecking, I'm never gonna try this again.

She grinned. "That'd be great." And she sincerely looked hapoy about my suggestion.

It's so awkward for me to act casual around her, I can't even look at her now because I feel so obvious about my feelings and it scared me so damn bad.

We separated to get to our seats and Devon looked at me suspiciously. "It was for her?" She asked.

"What?"

She looked at me as if I betrayed her and I had no idea what her problem is. Luckily Mr. Bendorf got in before she could cry on me. "Alright, good news. Today you pick your second pairing. Your projects are thirty percent of your grades so I expect you to choose a responsible partner."

I looked over to Bobbi and smiled back at her. She smiled at me and she totally looked smokig hot. Shit, I'm screwed. I'm gonna be too nervous to focus on that damned project with her, whatever it is.

Devon looked expectantly at me. Is she waiting for me to ask her? this is awkward. "Um.. what..?"

"Do you have a partner?" She asked smiling widely at me, I'm betting she assumed I didn't.

"Yes, actually. How about you..?"

She gave me that betrayal look again and I kind of got scared. "You have a partner?"

I nodded.

"It's still her." She frowned at me and then excused herself to go to the bathroom, only to come back thirty minutes later with her eyes puffy and red. What did I do?

"Um.. are you okay?"

She nodded, not even looking at me. That's a first, usually she won't quit staring.

"Look, Devon.." I said because I had to try reasoning with her. This is crazy, she shouldn't be crying if it's because of me! "Look, I know.. I know that you were sort of hoping we'd be partners but I wanted to work with someone I could talk to, someone I'm more comfortable with."

"Her? You think you're close just because you joined her org but you can't even talk to her!" She argued in a hushed tone.

"Devon, I talk to her.. We kinda know each other.. You and me? We don't talk, we basically don't even know each other so you have to stop pretending we're this close friends or something."

"But - we're more than friends!"

What?

"We're not anything! Look, you gotta stop this crazy fixation on me, I don't deserve you wasting all your time on me. You're not gonna find a person that would absolutely love you for real if you stick to me, you gotta realize that." This is a crazy conversation but I just don't know how to put proper words together. This is too bizarre, I've never experienced such a thing as this.

She looked hurt with what I said and turned to face the front. I felt ashamed but I also just wanted her to see truth.

Thankfully I survived the rest of the class just fine and before I knew it, I was already sitting on my usual spot by the bleachers as I watched practice.

 "So, any improvements?" Rachel asked, tipping her head towards me and away from her book.

I grinned. It still feels surreal that I asked her out. "We're going out tomorrow."

Rachel closed her book in surprise and raised her hand for a high five. "That's awesome, what do you have in mind?"

I looked at her questioningly. "Well, I'm just excited." I can't wait for tomorrow, seriously! I didn't even think I could ask Bobbi out but now that I have, I felt so freaking excited, maybe this will work out. Maybe we'd even be together and date for years, maybe I'd even marry her-

Rachel rolled her eyes which brought me back to reality. "What do you have in mind for the date, dummy."

"Oh - Oh... yeah, I - it's great, I had a lot ideas.. um, basically - who am I kidding, nothing! I don't know what to do after the movie, I mean, I have no idea where we'd eat or if she'd even want to eat afterwards or do we go home.. I don't even know if she's aware that it's a date. "

"What? How did you ask her out exactly?"

"Well, I sort of just asked her if she wanted to go watch a movie with me." I answered, annoyed with how stuoidly I phrased my question.

"You should've made it clear that you meant it as a date not just friends hanging out. You sounded like you just wanted to hang out!"

"I didn't know that I had to, I thought it was given." I argued, how the hell was I supposed to know my asking her out could've sounded friendly and not romantic?

"You never know it with girls, Jesse." She said, as if I should know these things.

"As you've pointed out. I can't go and tell her that now, I'd sound weird."

Throughout the rest of practice, Rachel just kept telling me I was an idiot and after awhile I managed to block her out. After dropping off Aaron, I decided to go home and pick out the best clothes I owned. 

From what Aaron taught me through the drive home, I'm not supposed to try too hard. So, casual yet inticing was the plan I was going for. Question is, how will I look that way?

The next day, I ended up just wearing a buttoned up polo since I don't usually wear my clothes that way. I looked at the mirror and hoped that I looked good enough. I hope she won't look too much better than me because that would make me regret following Aaron's suggestion.

I smiled at the mirror, trying my best to force my nerves to go away. 

You're okay Jesse. I assured myself. It didn't work.

The clock reflected in the mirror and I saw that I only had thirty minutes left. I decided to grab my jacket and head out so I won't be late on a first date.

As if I wasn't nervous enough, It just had to sink in that this is my first date ever. As in the very first. I've never really gotten a chance to do stuff like this ever since I got my eye sight, I just had a lot of things that I wanted to do and places I wanted to see so I never thought about relationships. 

Bobbi blew me away though, the first time I saw her I just knew instantly that she's the best one I've ever laid eyes on and I've seen a lot of things already by that time.

Her place wasn't that far from mine but she lived in a different subdivision and it looked like a maze. The only reason I knew where she lived is because she lived near Jensen and we hung around his place a lot.

Unfortunately, I got there at least fifteen minutes earlier and I'd definitely look like a creep if I waited outside her place so I decided to park in front of Jensen's place for at least a few minutes before the guy came out. I didn't think he would notice.

"Hey buddy, what brought you here?" He asked when I let my windows down.

"Um, nothing.. don't mind me - I was just leaving."

"Then why are you parked out my house?" He asked, narrowing my his eyes at me.

"I just - um - I just got tired of driving. Go back in dude, I'm leaving."

He looked at me suspiciously. "Alright but if I come in my room and find another prank in there, I'm killing you and Aaron both."

I snorted. We've done it only once before but in my defence, I was just dragged into it because Aaron said that he wanted to make Jensen's birthday special. 

I drove away and decided to just deal with the remaining four minutes of earliness. The moment I got out of my car, she came out the door and smiled at me. I walked towards her halfway through her lawn. "I was gonna knock but.."

"Yeah, sorry, I've been ready for hours." She confessed.

I stared at her for an entire minute, completely blown away at how amazing she looked. She was wearing a peach colored polo that showed her tanktop underneath and a dark ripped skinny jeans and she looked absolutely incredible. I regretted what I was wearing all of a sudde. I wished I tried harder.

"Sorry, I didn't know, I should've come earlier." I said, finally regaining my brains.

"No - No. I actually sounded weird to admit that so forget it but no.. I was early because I had nothing else to do. It's totally fine." She said, shaking her head, telling me it was honestly fine.

"Oh okay.." I said as I opened the shotgun door for her. When I got in, I decided to ask her if she wanted to have dinner with me. "So I was thinking.. would it be okay if we ate afterwards?"

"Yeah, that'd be great." She said, nodding in agreement.

"Okay, um.. you do know that when I asked you, I meant it as like a date, right?" I asked, looking at her sheepishly.

She laughed for so long I thought I've died five times and came back to live everytime just to be tortured by the humiliation. "Of course I did."

I nodded and tried to smile, I'm getting more nervous by the minute.

Thankfully, the drive wasn't awkward at all. We managed to talk about a lot of things from the things we liked to the things we want to do. When we got to the cinema, she wouldn't let me pay for her tickets and I respect that but I also wanted to make her feel special and I didn't know how to do that exactly if she's not going to let me. "Bobbi, it's okay.. I want to pay for it."

"I know you do but it's, It's me..  I don't -"

"Okay, but even if you buy a ticket I'm still going to buy two so one of it's going to be wasted.." I said, trying to make her let me buy her movie tickets.

She bit her lip and sighed. "Fine, but next time - I'm buying for the both of us."

I grinned at what she said, that was definitely fine by me. "That sounds great. Next time, yeah, it sounds perfect."

"Did I just somehow agree to a second date?" She asked with this confused expression on her face. She looked so cute when she's confused.

I laughed and nodded in confirmation. "I think you just did, yeah." 

"Well then let's hope we both enjoy this date so that a second date won't be awkward." She said as I paid the cashier for the tickets.

I grinned and showed her my fingers crossed.

The movie was okay but I spent most of the time panicking and hyperventilating over the fact that we're on a date than actually watching the film. When it was over, I told her about this 'Texan-style restaurant' that I loved to go to and I wanted to share with her.

When we got there, it was a bit crowded and there were a lot of students - some were even from Paul Hall which is weird because the reason I love the place is because I don't know anybody from there.

"I think there's some sort of performance." Bobbi stated, looking at the stage where a guy was setting up. "And there's my brother..?"

I looked at where she was looking and did, in fact, see his brother. The kid was at least four years younger than us, he's a freshman, I think. I think so because he tried out for football just last week and he was the youngest. 

Bobbi looked back at me and smiled. "So how did you find out about this place?" This is the first time we're actually talking about things that are not school-related and although the question wasn't unanswerable by a panicking guy, I can still feel my palms starting to sweat.

 "My doctor's clinic is near here so before, when my mom came with me to my check ups, she'd always bring me here afterwards and I still come here now and then."

She looked around and smiled, as if actually imagining little old me eating in here. "So, everything's okay with you now, right? I mean, you're healthy..?" I could see that she was struggling to ask the question, not many people ask me about it and the ones that do end up being awkward about it.

I nodded. "Yeah, my mom insists on having check ups every once in awhile  because she's a worrier but I know I'm definitely healthy."

There was a performance by a dude named Logan Parker, I haven't heard about him but the people eating around us seemed to know him. In fact, Bobbi's brother was with this girl - who I know also goes to Paul Hall - and she was screaming so loud for the Logan guy to sing some more.

Our conversation easily switched from health to PE to the weird gym coach at Paul Hall and to a bunch of other things until her brother finally noticed her and sat right next to her, ignoring both of us, surprisingly.

"Jon." Bobbi said with this sarcastic smile on her face. She looked at her brother who was eating off of her plate, when he didn't look at her, she looked at me apologetically. "Sorry about him, he's a little slow-thinker so the whole embarrassment thing? He hasn't gotten to that yet.."

I smiled, I was actually amused with her and her brother. I don't get to see people from school interacting with their siblings much and I found it cute. "No, it's okay, It's funny."

"It's gonna be funnier when I kill him in his sleep later." She said teasingly before she kicked his brother under the table.

"What?" Her brother complained.

She whispered something to him which made him look up to me. "Oh, I'm sorry -" He looked at me as if he's focusing. "I swear from a distance I thought you looked like Red Montgomery. Sorry for being rude, it was so not meant for you." He smiled sheepishly and did a piece sign and then left.

I looked at Bobbi with a weird expression on my face. "Red Montgomery? Why would your brother be intentionally rude to him?"

Red wasn't a friend but he was definitely one of the kings of school. He's the son of this action star and he knew how to demand the attention. Bobbi used to date him, I don't know what happened with them, though.

 "I dated him awhile back, it was a secret sort of thing since my parents didn't allow me dating yet and then he spread this rumor about me and him - you know - doing it.. along with other rumors that are equally rude but none of it is true. When I found out it was him, I ended it but I wish I could've done something equally hurtful."

I was surprised. "What? Those awful rumor, he spread that?" I honestly hated hearing those humors, I sort of defended her 'honor' a couple of times when people were gossiping about it and I felt so annoyed with whoever started it, not even knowing who it was.

Now I knew it was red and my annoyance just doubled.

She nodded. "And it spread like wildfire."

"That asshole."

"But I don't think I'd be the editor in chief of the publication if it wasn't for him.. I mean, the publication became my escape and I ended up loving it with all my heart, I guess it was all for the best in the end."

"But you didn't deserve that. People were like vicious cobras when those rumors came out, suddenly there were a bunch of versions of the story, it was disgusting, you shouldn't have gone through that."

 She shrugged. "High school, it'll never change. What version of the story did you think was true?"

I bit my lip because I'm about to tell her something that might be awkward or cute and the line was so thin between the two, it's scary. "Honestly? I made my own version of the story. Maybe it's because I heard a rumor about myself once about rising from the dead that I didn't believe your rumor or maybe I just had this huge crush on you that I couldn't believe anything that could ruin the version of you I had in my mind."

She didn't look surprised which made me a little nervous, have I been obvious? "You had a crush on me?" She asked, finally sounded curious, but it didn't assure me too much.

I grinned easily but I can feel my body turning cold. "I said or.." I reminded her. "but um, yeah, I did." I decided not to focus on the awkward topic and just switch to another one. "I have a question, how much do you hate the attention that stupid secret admirer article is getting."

She looked at me curiously for a moment and I felt my heart beat so fast, the way she looked at me made me think 'what if she knows' and it was the scariest thing I've ever experienced. "I think it's good that people are finally willing to express themselves with the newspaper but I thought the attention it was getting was ridiculous."

Hmm. I think she's not too interested about the submission, maybe I should stop.

The date ended a little over ten o'clock when we decided to call it a night and  I dropped her off her home. "Did you enjoy your night?" I asked with my fingers crossed behind my back.

She smiled and nodded.

"So I guess we can count on a second date not being awkward?" I asked hopefully.

"I guess we could." She replied with a playful smile.

I looked at my watch and sighed, I wish it didn't have to end yet. "Are your parents going to get mad that it's late? I can totally talk to them or something, if it won't make things worse."

She shook her head but she looked grateful. "No, I think talking to them would be a horrible idea. They became a little over-protective after Red and you'd get in trouble, thanks though."

I nodded and waved goodbye although she was just a feet away. I FREAKING WAVED AT HER. "Goodnight then."

She giggled at my wave and tiptoed to kiss me on the cheek.

Can I collapse on their lawn because I swear to god I can't feel my body anymore.

I smiled at her with the few remaining muscles that could move and told her 'goodnight' once more before she smiled at me and went inside her house.

BEST. FRIGGING. DATE. EVER.

minus the friggin' wave.