Trigger Warning: Graphic Scene of Eating-Disorder Bulimia (Note: Read Author's Note Afterwards)

"You can be so dramatic, Naomi," Lynn said as she set some cookies down on her bed. "You actually scared me. For a second, I thought I had to sacrifice my piggy bank for your bail money."

"Don't be like that," I said with a laugh. "But thank you again for letting us stay for a bit."

"I was surprised when you said us," Lynn did as she sat on the floor. "I thought it was one of your other friends but I didn't know it will be this-" She motioned dramatically at Brennan.

Brennan had scooted toward the bed with the swivel chair to grab some cookies. After taking a bite of a cookie, praising its chocolatey glory, she said, "You're giving me too much credit."

"Oh, I'm not," Lynn told her. "I want to both be you and date you. How can that even work? Can it work?" She asked hopefully.

Brennan laughed. "Sorry love, but I already got a boyfriend. But how about we play a game: pick a model, any-"

Lynn practically shoved a sheet of paper in front of Brennan. "I knew it will be worth making this list."

Brennan grabbed the plate of cookies for herself and began reading the list, perhaps taking mental note how many people she will have to contact.

I asked her, "How does your game even work? Does it even work?"

"Don't question love, hon," Brennan said, her focus still on the list.

Lynn jumped backwards onto her bed. "Sorry that I don't have much to do here."

"Don't be," I said, grabbing the plate before Brennan could stop me. "The cookies are really good though. Did you make it from scratch?"

Lynn let out a laugh. "Nah, the store did. I'm not good enough to make it from scratch. Need it pre-cut ready-made to pop it into the oven."

"You're so lazy," Brennan said. "My brother always makes them from scratch."

"Bennett, mystery guy," I explained to Lynn.

"That's how you know him? Mystery guy?"

"I don't know how else to describe him besides black hair and blue eyes," I told her, "Since Lynn knows him best like that too."

"Oh, there are a lot of things to describe my baby brother," Brennan told us. "Should I give you the list?"

"Yes," Lynn said as I said, "No."

"I should know your friends better," Lynn said. "Technically, your friends are now my friends. You know the saying, my enemy's friend is my enemy. Wait, no-"

"That is not how the saying goes, nor is it related to what you're talking about," I said, laughing.

"Well, I'm scared what we'll learn from Bennett's sister," I said. "I may never look at him the same way again."

Brennan chuckled darkly. "Trust me, you won't."

Trying to change the subject, I grabbed the plate of cookies from Brennan and held it out to Lynn. "Have some, don't watch as you make me and Brennan any fatter."

"I should take a picture of you guys right now for a before and after comparison," Lynn said with a laugh.

"My metabolism will never get me fat!" Brennan declared.

"Give it a couple of years," I muttered.

Brennan gasped and took another bite of her cookie as she returned to the list.

I offered the plate to Lynn who shook her head.

"I'm on a diet right now so..."

"Lillian, you do not need to be on a diet," Brennan said as she ate another cookie.

"Said the goddess of beauty," Lynn muttered under breath.

Brennan ate two cookies and gave me a nod. I suddenly grabbed a bunch of cookies in one hand and tackled Lynn trying to make her eat them.

"Get fat with us!" I cried.

"Never!"

After a couple minutes of struggling, I gave up and lied back on the bed. I began eating the cookies one by one in shame.

"I give up."

"Lynn..." Brennan said in sing-song. "It would be a shame if I forgot to ever call my friends looking for a cute girl like you."

Lynn flipped herself to the side and screamed into a pillow. Then she sat up with a deadpan look.

"Give me the damn cookie."

She took an unwillful bite, but her face showed she was enjoying it.

Lynn looked at the plate of cookies embarrassed. "I might as well take a couple of more just to make sure I get a date..."

"Of course," Brennan said with a smile.

Lynn continued to eat more and more cookies. The oven downstairs made a loud ding and Lynn went down to get us the next tray. She came back at me and Brennan's delighted faces.

"I missed you!" I exclaimed.

Lynn looked confused. "I was only gone for a couple of minutes..."

"Gimme the cookies."

"Don't make me throw these out the window."

Thankfully she didn't. Lynn turned on her TV to the first interesting movie for us to watch a movie with our cookies and milk. Halfway into the movie, Brennan tried getting the last cookie and we fought to the death.

It tasted delicious.

"Why do rom-coms exist?" Lynn asked.

"To show what you can but don't have," I said. "A relationship."

Lynn held her heart dramatically and fell backwards onto her bed. "Oh, cruel reality."

"I remember back when I was single," Brennan said with a laugh, before looking away with a dead look. "Those were dark times."

"But at least you have a boyfriend now," I muttered. "Rub it in our faces. But really, tell us about it."

"I much rather not," Brennan said, waving us off. "I'm more interested in helping you poor souls."

"Good luck," I said.

"We're hopeless causes," Lynn said, nodding in agreement.

"Try me."

Lynn looked at me to go first.

"Well, you both already know my situation," I told them. "I don't really want to talk-"

"This is a girls night," Lynn said. "You have to say it. It's in the rulebook."

"It's really weird talking about it, much less thinking about it."

"Then deal with it," Brennan said. "Facing it more will make it less awkward."

"Doesn't if feel wrong?" I asked them. "It's such a norm in anime or books, but to consider it in real life..."

"It's not your fault you're such a knockout," Lynn said.

Yeah, I experienced a lot of those...

"It's just..."

"Yeah...?" Lynn pressed.

"I don't think they like me, and that I don't actually like any of them," I confessed.

"What do you mean?"

I shook my head. "I think we're confusing these feelings with our friendship and admiration from our experiences together."

The others were quiet for a moment.

Brennan began. "Do you really-"

"Sometimes these thoughts rile up as a 'what if'," I told them. "But when I really think of them, see them, it really is just respect and love- but not a romantic one."

Brennan pulled me into another hug.

"Well, you can't really know their reasons," Lynn said slowly, thinking about her words. "Maybe you're right. But you also don't know the degree of their feelings from like to love to lust."

"Lynn's right," Brennan said. "This is a really tough position the universe has put you in, but that doesn't mean you should fight it."

"I don't think I'm ready for a relationship," I said, "especially with them."

"Then they should respect that," Lynn said, "because if not..."

Brennan and Lynn shared a dark look that I did not dare question.

I was able to crack a smile. I felt a bit better talking to them about this. But I still knew that it was something I had to carry alone.

"Alright, your turn Lynn," I told her.

Lynn looked embarrassed. "Yours is much better to talk about. I don't-"

"Lynn."

She was quiet for a while. "I always knew I was like... this," she said, motioning to herself. "When I was in the process of gathering the courage to finally tell my parents, they found out when I was with my first girlfriend. It wasn't the relationship with her that mattered, but with my parents."

Lynn stopped and looked at us, asking if she wanted us to continue. When she saw our the concern in our eyes, she knew she could trust us with this.

"It wasn't the dream acceptance I imagine. I didn't get my open arms with tears running down their faces with love and acceptance." She let out a shaky breath. "I got ignored for months. When I walked into the room, they became quiet and turned away. They left money on the table for me to get my own food. They argued with each other, trying to blame the other. Eventually, they began talking to me again, still trying to live with it, live with me. Then I got the letter."

"The letter?" Brennan asked.

"The letter of acceptance, but not the one I wanted from them," Lynn told us. "It was for Riverside Academy. I confronted them, asking if they were sending me to my paradise. But instead, they told me I can learn how to be a proper lady with other girls around."

"That is so-"

"Stupid? Insane? Counterproductive?" Lynn asked and began to laugh. "Oh yeah, they realized it. But by now they've come to finally live with it, accept it to an extent. I know they don't like it but..." She attempted to shrug it off.

Brennan and I moved to give her the hug she wanted, needed. She didn't say anything, didn't hug us back, but her body relaxed having finally let it out.

"I'm open with my sexuality because I already faced the worst possible outcome of coming out, although I've heard of worse," Lynn said. "I'm sorry that I made the atmosphere so-"

"Forget that," I said. "I'm happy you're able to tell us about your story."

"Yeah, you're the first people I was able to tell you about this," Lynn told us. "I don't want to think online and offline community groups matter compared to actual close friends."

"Just know that we accept you, and if anyone doesn't then..."

Now Brennan and I shared a dark look.

"You don't have to keep it to yourself or look to strangers," Brennan said. "You have us. And you can tell us anything."

Lynn smiled sadly. "Of course." She suddenly brightened up. "But enough with my backstory. What matters is my love life. Unlike the two of you, there isn't anyone for me."

"There isn't anyone you're crushing on?" I asked.

Lynn pointed at the model list.

"You've had relationships before though."

She shrugged. "Some were experimenting and got scared off. Others only looked for a summer fling. Everyone in my school knows about me and none are interested."

Lynn looked at the both of us and sighed. "You're going to just tell me to wait for the one."

"Well, I mean..." Brennan began.

"Save it, I get it. I certainly am waiting for the one. Whoever is on that list."

"Give me your number," Brennan said, holding out her hand. "I'll call you the instant I get something."

Lynn did so and winked at me. "Look at me, picking up numbers. I totally got game."

I burst out laughing at that. I'm glad to have met Lynn. I was disappointed in not being able to help her as of now, but I want to always be there for her when she does need my help and I am able to give it to her.

Lynn groaned. "I'm going to get a food baby and I will name it Cookie."

"Cookie is a good name," I said, nodding at approval.

"Who's the father?" Brennan asked her.

"Nestle," Lynn replied. "He was on sale. It was love at first sight."

"Ok, let's stop this conversation before it gets any weirder."

"We already passed weird," Lynn said.

I looked at Lynn who looked like she was a little sick, touching her stomach and her lips. But I waved it off as being full given I feel the same way. Everything I will taste from now on will be chocolate chip cookies.

I checked my phone and saw all the missed calls I got from the guys. "I think we should head back now before the guys start filing a missing person's report on us."

"That or Bennett throws out my things from his apartment by the time I come back," Brennan said, having a long pause afterwards. "Yeah, we have to go now."

We all took the empty plates and glasses onto the kitchen. Lynn protested against us cleaning the dishes, but even if she was the host, the both of us as the guests were already thankful enough.

Lynn said goodbye and went up to her room probably to clean up some more. Brennan went ahead to start the car when I realized I left my jacket back at Lynn's room. I went up the stairs, thinking of ways to surprise Lynn and then I suddenly stopped.

She was in the bathroom that was on the same hall on her way to her bedroom. Of course, I would have wanted to give her her privacy of a humane process, but something felt off. It was then I could hear her: choking, gagging, sobbing, cursing. The bathroom door was cracked open and I went pale at the sight of Lynn kneeling in front of the toilet. Her fingers left her mouth and solid liquid hit the bottom of the toilet bowl. Shudders seemed to run down her body as she choked out the leftovers. I heard her muttering to herself words of encouragement: just one more time, almost done.

The sounds were drowned out by my own heart beating faster and faster. I didn't know what to do. Do I walk in saying I know how to save her, that she needs to stop because I know better than her? And what if she rejects me, furious at my attempts and thinking I'm looking down on her. I knew the feeling, it was the underlying feeling I had when I first met...

I felt like I didn't have the right to say anything, do anything. I wanted to though, I wanted to help her and just do something. But I remembered that she didn't tell me and Brennan. Of course she didn't, it wasn't exactly a conversation starter. But does that mean it's because she doesn't want us to know out of shame, she wants us to just leave her alone on the matter, or she actually does want us to know but can't bring herself to tell us?

I felt the floor underneath me creak and Lynn suddenly becoming quiet.

I hesitated, for a moment. Then I did what I have always done.

I ran away.

I never made a trigger warning before and believe I should have made it in the first book. Researching how to correctly make one, some people believe it's stupid. But after my own experience of a traumatizing movie, I believe it's just a necessary caution/advisory for you to prepare yourself. (Just to say, I'll be more careful of what Rated-R movies are warning people about. And it wasn't some scary horror, it was more serious than that...) I hesitated going through with the trigger warning but I already said I will in the last author's note. I reread the scene, only a paragraph, and for a moment thought I was overreacting on it. But despite the past journey I put you in the first book, I still felt it was necessary. When I edit/rewrite the first book, I'll be sure to put trigger warnings. I have some young readers here, and people can be influenced, regardless of age. Just understand me from an older sister/author standpoint.

It was because of this I hesitated publishing the entire chapter. I wanted to publish it last week but I tried rewriting it to make it better. I hope none of you are mad at me for that scene, whether because I wrote it or did that to Lynn. It's necessary for later in the book, you'll see. Maybe some of you will be angry for writing a scene that I did not have experience on. But I am sure to always properly research on everything I write. Like for the next chapter, I reference WALL-E, and almost left it at Walle and decided double check just to make sure. That is a terrible example, I have way better examples, but I'm too lazy to reread the book.

Also to note, I at first wanted Lynn to say Pillsburry but I thought it was too weird even for me and settled with Nestle. And consider the title of the book and how it relates to the last scene.

Jordan lovers, get ready for the next arc.

Rubix