The next thing I knew was, that I woke up feeling pleasant, in my room. I looked beside me to find the bed empty. I wondered where he was, and that was when the happenings of the previous day flashed in my head. I felt sorrowful. {I should not have been very harsh with him. But I had to do it in order to bring them together.}

I slowly moved into the balcony, to find Radha didi waiting for me there.

Me: Hai didi! Where have you been all this time? What have you been doing?

She: Krishna asked me to do a small job for him.

Me: Can I ask what it is? I am curious!

She laughed.

She: I had to go to Himalayas to meet a sage. He had a message for Krishna.

Me: Okay! So did you convey him the message?

She: Yes, just a few minutes ago.

Me: Great!

She: Why are you doing this?

Me: What?

She: Don't you trust me?

{Again the same question. Is it my fault? Don't I trust anyone easily?}

She: Dhara! If you wish to hide it from me; fine. But remember that I am there for you, if you need support and help.

Me: No! that is not the problem. If I trust anyone, it is only you people.

She: Then you better tell me.

Me: Didi! When are you going to take back your body?

She: What?

Me: When. Are. You. Going. To. Take. Back your Body?

She: Who told you that I am?

Me: But my job is over right? How long will I stay in it?

She: Your job is not yet over my dear. You still have a lot to do. And for that; you have to at least live in this body for 55 more years. That means, this is now your body. It is not mine anymore.

Me: But ...

She: No if's and but's. This is not my decision. This is destiny. And I guess it is a good idea to be satisfied with it. As far as I am concerned, I am happy. Do you have any problem?

Me: How can you be happy?

She: Why can't I?

Me: Because I have taken your place.

She laughed.

She: You never took my place. You cannot do it. My place is secured, in his heart. So you need not worry about it. You only work on securing your place and making use of the position he has given you.

Me: What do you mean?

She: I know what happened yesterday. I even know the reason why you rejected him. But remember one thing Dhara; whatever happened regarding your life, you deserved it. You deserved this body. You deserved to be his wife. You deserved his love. You deserved it all. And now you deserve his touch too.

Me: But how can I?

She: Why can't you?

Me: Whenever I look into the mirror, I feel like I have snatched this form from you. Whenever I look at him, I feel like I am snatching him away from you. I feel guilty. Whenever he touches me, I feel like it was meant for you and not me.

She: How many times should I tell you that you have not snatched it? Please Dhara! Understand it. You are getting what you deserve! And it is final.

I bent my head. Now I have irritated her too. {Why am I such a troublemaker. Why do I never give Happiness to anyone? I feel like my life is a waste. What is the use of living when everyone is hurt by my presence?} I could not control the tears flowing from my eyes. I felt like I was a total crap. I could not bear this weight anymore. So I collapsed on to the floor.

Me: Please didi, please let me leave this body. I don't want to live like this. I didn't want to be a burden to you people. I did not want to come between you both. That is why I behaved like that. I am sorry didi. I am very sorry. But didi, please let me die.

She sat beside me and gently placed my head on her lap. She then started gently passing her fingers through my hair. I felt soothed and happy, just like when I slept in my mother's lap. I cried my heart out and she allowed me to. When my eyes finally ran out of tears, and my sobs stopped; she started speaking.

She: I can understand your feelings Dhara! But never blame yourself dear. You are the best sister ever. I am proud of you.

She kissed my forehead and wiped my tears. Then she lifted my head to make me face her.

She: Look into my eyes Dhara!

I looked into her golden eyes. They had that divine glow in them, as always.

She: Do you see any disappointment or sadness in them?

I shook my head as if to say 'No'.

She: I am not a bit sad for whatever happened. So no more worries, Okay?

I nodded.

She smiled.

She: Coming to the topic of death; no you are not allowed to leave your body yet. Because your job is not yet completely done. You have been given this body for a purpose. And it is only half done. But the other half is yet to be fulfilled. And it is a very important one.

A pool of questions swirled in my head and I opened my mouth to ask her. But before any words escaped my mouth, I got answers to all my questions.

She: You don't remember anything about your previous life, right?

I nodded. She sighed and continued to speak.

She: You were a very gentle, intelligent and beautiful girl. You were born in a prosperous family, where you got a very good care and support from your parents and elder brother. You were treated like a princess. You had a happy childhood. Since you were very studious and a topper of your school, you got an opportunity to pursue your life ambition, to be a doctor. Everything went very well and you were enjoying your student life as a medical student. But your life took a drastic turn towards negativity when your brother got addicted to drugs. Those drugs turned him into a beast. His mind got polluted and he lost his soul. He went to the extent of murdering his own parents to acquire the property and wasted it all on his addictions. When he was left penny less; he finally turned to you. He secretly planned to get you married to a Mafia leader, in return for huge ransom and free drugs. When you came to know about this, you tried to protest but were brutally beaten up and trapped at home. Unable to fight against your brother and unwilling to marry a beast; you found suicide as the only way of escape ...

She let out a deep sigh. I could not believe my ears. {Did I have such a terrible life earlier? Was I really so weak to attempt suicide?}
My head ached. {Drugs are extremely dangerous poisons, to people and to society. They don't only spoil the lives of those who get addicted. But they can lead to the total destruction of a whole family. Not only a family but also the nation and ultimately the world!} I shivered at the thought.

She: But you committed a sin.

I looked at her in confusion.

She: Suicide is a sin Dhara! No one has the right to end their life. And you had to pay a heavy price for your sin. You were neither allowed to go to heaven, nor to hell. You could not leave the earth nor enter the living world. You were trapped ... in a world between life and death.

I blinked in horror. {Is there such a severe punishment for suicide? Is it such a severe sin?}

She: The rest, you know.

I nodded silently. I did not dare to look at her. {Now I understand why I feel so low.}

......................................................................................................

So, a bit about Dhara ... What do you feel?