This chapter is very heavy and sad. You have been warned.

Around a month later, Dan eagerly stood up and wandered over to one of the many shelves of books. He began to flick through the different books until he found one which he liked the sound of.

He then wandered over to the librarian and handed the book over with a frown. "Good choice." The librarian said, scanning the book.

"Thanks." Dan replied, not really wanting to start a conversation.

"It was one of my favourites when I was your age. It's a classic." Dan nodded, taking back the book and leaving the room. He wandered down the corridors, clutching both the book and the notebook against his chest.

"Daniel, is it?" Someone said, making Dan look up from his feet and nod. "I'm Marcus." Marcus held out a hand for Dan to shake. Dan awkwardly shook it before looking up. Marcus was smirking a smirk which basically screamed 'evil'. "What are you reading?" Marcus reached forward and snatched both of the books from Dan's grip.

"Give them back!" Dan shouted, his heart beating fast inside his chest.

"Some boring thing and-" Marcus flicked open Dan's notebook and started to read the first page... aloud. "'Dear diary, my name is Dan Howell and in here I will be writing about my life. If you're anyone but me, please, put this notebook down now and don't read any further. I was recommended to start writing in this by my therapist because apparently it will help.' Therapist?" Marcus started to laugh loudly and Dan's vision blurred with tears. "'I guess this is better than the other options though. Aunt told me that if I am ever sad, I need to either write it down, or tell her. She's scared of what I am capable of. Honestly, I kind of am too.' You sound so gay!" Dan couldn't take it anymore... he lunged forward and snatched the book straight out of Marcus' hand.

"This is private." He muttered before racing off down the corridor, tears falling down his cheeks.

He got inside his (and PJ's) dorm and slammed the door behind him. Luckily, PJ was with Chris and Phil in their room. He collapsed onto his bed and just started sobbing. He suddenly just wanted to be at home with his mum and dad. He wanted to hear his mum telling him her creative little stories again, he wanted to be little again. He wanted his parents.

He opened up his notebook and didn't bother to even wipe his tears as he began to write.

I want to go home.

I want my mum and my dad. I want to go back in time.

Why does this happen to me? Why can't I be happy? As soon as things start heading in the right direction, something comes along and messes it all up.

I just want to go back to being a kid again. I want to drink hot chocolate on snowy days and sing songs with my parents in the summer. I want my mum to read books to me as my little imagination when crazy. I want my dad to give me lectures when I'm bad. I want-

By then he was crying so much that he was struggling to write. Any words which made it to the page were too smudged to read anyway.

Just then, he heard three familiar voices. PJ, Chris and Phil were heading towards the dorm and he looked like a mess. His eyes were red and he couldn't stop the sobs which were escaping his mouth. Before he could even consider the idea of hiding, the door opened.

"Dan? Are you okay?" PJ was first to ask. He ran forward to the boy and sat beside him.

"No. I can't do this anymore. I want to go home." Dan wailed into PJ's shoulder. He wasn't even sure why he was letting it out in front of his new friends but he was too upset to care.

"Call your parents, that might-" Phil started but that just made Dan cry even harder.

"No, I can't. I can't, I can't, I can't! I don't want to be here anymore."

"If it's this bad, they might let you come home."

"I don't want to be at 'home'." Dan cried, forming quotation marks around home. "I want to be at home with my parents!"

The three obviously weren't getting it.

"Dan, calm down. What has made you so upset?"

"Someone read my diary and- and-"

"What's so bad about that?" Chris chipped in, confused.

"I write about my secrets in there and no one knows about them, not even my aunt."

"They can't be that bad. You know you can trust us, right?"

"They are that bad." Without even thinking, Dan shoved the notebook into PJ's hands.

I woke up screaming at 4 in the morning last night. I had flashbacks to the night I was told about my parents. I was told to write about the nightmare.

Basically, I was sitting on the sofa in the living room, watching my favourite anime. I had just finished a really good episode when the phone began to ring. I picked up the phone, oblivious to what was about to happen. A sickeningly sweet voice asked me, "Is this Daniel Howell?" I swallowed, biting my lip. I didn't recognise the voice at all and no one ever called me by my full name. To my parents I was Bear or Dan, to everyone else I was just Dan.

"Yes?" I responded, slight curiosity in my tone.

"Do you have any way to get to the hospital? Can a friend take you? A relative?"

"Why?" My heart was beating rapidly. Why would I need to be going to the hospital? Were one of my relatives sick? No.. my parents would usually tell me and they'd take me to see them themselves.

"There's been an accident." My stomach dropped: was it my parents? They were just meant to be gone an hour. They were meant to be back in around ten minutes, they promised!

"Who? What?"

"Your parents. Another car crashed into them, they're in a critical condition." I hung up in complete shock. My eyes were already filled with wet tears and I just wanted to scream. I decided to sit down on my sofa but this time without the TV on. I turned it off and the house lapsed into a silence. Silence is scary, I can tell you that. My dad's stupid radio station wasn't blaring at a loud volume and my mum wasn't singing to herself or reading some story aloud. All I could hear was the clock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

I was counting down the minutes to when my parents planned on being home. Ten minutes.

Nine.

Eight.

Tears were falling down my cheeks at a rapid pace. I couldn't believe this.. they were coming home. Of course they were. They promised.

Seven.

Six.

Five.

Four.

I tried to hold back the lump of a sob arising in my throat. I couldn't sob. I just couldn't.

Three.

Two.

They were coming home.

One.

I awaited the sound of a car engine and the keys in the door. I bolted up and threw opened the front door, looking outside. I had so much hope that they would turn up. I sat on the front step for hours but they never came back. I let the sobs come.

I was outside for so long that I began to shiver but, still, I refused to go inside. I didn't want to miss my parents coming home. We would laugh about this moment and it would be the funniest thing in the world. They'd say there was just a lot of traffic and I would joke about how worried I was.

It was almost ten at night when someone walked up the drive.

I jumped up, expecting my mum or dad but it was an older lady, possibly in her fifties. "Are you Daniel Howell?" I nodded, wiping one of my tears away with my hand. "I'm really sorry but your parents..." Her breath hitched. "They've passed away."

I dropped to the ground and screamed.

Then I woke up.

PJ was actually crying as he finished the passage. "I'm so sorry, Dan.." He mumbled, wrapping his arms around Dan tightly, as if to say that he would never let go.

Dan half expected Chris to make a witty joke but they all stayed silent until Phil spoke up. "Can I read it?"

"I don't think you want to." PJ whispered with a shake of his head. "It's so sad. I'll explain later."

"I want my parents back." Dan whimpered, sounding utterly weak and fragile.

"I know you do."