This is another diary entry FROM THE PAST.

I wish I had a friend. Someone to hold me close as I cried and someone to hold my hand through my nightmares. Someone who loves anime and watches it with me as we discuss the cute characters. Sadly, I have no one.

I have to do everything alone, fight it all by myself. It's so hard. I don't know how much longer I will manage.

My therapist keeps telling me over and over that I need to go out and speak to people because "being antisocial" doesn't help my situation. I understand that but I'm just not ready.

Everywhere reminds me of my mum and dad. The park because we used to have picnics there, the school because mum and dad always picked me up there, the forest because we went on adventures there, the local supermarket because we shopped there.

The world is a constant reminder that my parents are gone.

I still don't understand why this happened to me. I am a good kid, I never do anything wrong so what did I do to deserve this hell?

Was it because I didn't tell them I loved them enough? I already regret not telling them they were the best parents in the world..

I didn't know that when I said goodbye to my parents as they went shopping, it would be for real. It was a real goodbye. The last goodbye. I was never going to see them again.

...Why me?