Hello there. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Danielle, Amethyst's sister and assistant leader of this account. It is such a great honor to have this role, and I hope that my words will help some of you in some way. Feel free to shoot me a message if you want advice :)

To The Introverts:

  I have struggled with social anxiety all my life. I hate crowds and loud noises, and I'm too shy to reach out first. We live in a world that never stops talking, and if you're like me, you understand that.

  It's so easy to be lost in the crowd, to let your tiny voice be drowned out, isn't it? But you don't have to be loud to be heard.

  If you have extroverted friends who you know genuinely like you, don't hesitate to go to them. Honestly, they don't intend to forget about you; usually they want you around.

  Reach out in little ways. Walking up to someone and starting a conversation absolutely terrifies me. But maybe when someone unfamiliar sits next to you, when your friend brings one of their friends along, ask questions. People love to talk about themselves. That way, you don't have to talk much; just listen.

  Some questions are better than others. I mean, when was the last time you asked "How was your week?" and got a reply other than a generic "good"?

  Here's a few options for questions that often have a way of getting both strangers and acquaintances to open up more:

  •What was the highlight of your weekend?
  •What's your favorite book/movie/song? Why?
  •How did you get the name you have?
  •Do you have any siblings? What are they like?
  •What do you love to do in your spare time?
  •Do you have any pets/funny stories about them?
  •Are you an indoor or outdoor person? Why?

  Et cetera.

  Introverts are often good listeners - use that ability. I think we all know at least one person, young or old, who has a unique ability to make you feel special and important when they talk to you, and it feels amazing, doesn't it? Be that person. Make people feel special about who they are.

To The Extroverts:

  I have to admit, you guys are something of a mystery to me. How does one thrive off of social interaction and crowds? But that hasn't stopped me from making some good extrovert friends.

  Extrovert girls, you have to realize that we introverts are often too shy to reach out on our own. it's easy for us to feel alone and forgotten, and you have the ability to fix that with a few words. Go to your introvert friends. Invite them to hang out with your extrovert friends and you - make them feel included.

  They don't need much attention, although some introverts can be really clingy (p.s., introverts, unless you know someone really well, being clingy isn't smart). You will make them feel incredibly loved and wanted just by talking to them now and then. Message them and ask them how they are, and when they ask you, tell them for real. They're good listeners, and you can talk all you want to them. 

  My best extrovert friend is incredibly kind - she just gets distracted and caught up in other things sometimes. She's a wonderful person, and I imagine that all you are, too.

  If you do take your time to hug and talk to an introvert friend, know that they appreciate it more than they can ever say.  They will devote themselves to you entirely, and just because they don't always talk doesn't mean they don't love you; it probably just means they're listening to you and wondering how they got so lucky.

  Thank you, extroverted girls, for being the fun and kind people you are. We love you, and we're trying to show you that.

Introvert/Extrovert Friendships

  Introverts, you have to learn how to mingle sometimes. I know it's incredibly hard. But you can't always keep an extrovert friend if you only want to hang out alone.

  One of my best friends is a huge extrovert, and she LOVES being with people. I have to work hard to keep up with her and sometimes that means hanging out with her friends - it's not easy, but it's usually worth it. Extroverts really do make awesome friends, even if they're not always loyal.

  You can learn to go with the flow and laugh with the extroverts, my introvert girls. One thing you can do is literally just say whatever is on your mind. We second-guess ourselves so much, worrying we might say the wrong thing, but when you're around extrovert friends who love you, trust me, they won't judge you. They'll just laugh and join in.

  We don't understand extroverts - at all. They thrive off loud noises and people and everything that makes us uncomfortable, so naturally we don't usually mix. But I know from experience that they can be amazing people and you can share almost anything with them.

  Extroverts, like I already said, take just a little time to talk to your introverted friends. Hug them in front of your other friends, and show them you love them. That's all they need.

  You can do it. Just start small, doing a few things that your friends love. You'll grow together.

Guy Friendships

  This goes for making friends with guys, too. If you don't like guy things and you refuse to try them, you might not make any male friends. But guys make some of the best friends.

  Guys have insights that girls definitely don't. They can be protective, and give awesome hugs. If they love you, they'll do anything for you.

  Not all guys are jerks. Some of my favorite people are guys, and they're sweet and funny and kind. That being said, don't just write boys off as awful. Try to see it their way.

  Tomboys honestly have it easier in this area. We like some things that are often associated rightly with guys, and that can create a bond. I personally love sports, climbing trees, using chainsaws and other power equipment, guns, and knives - heck, I throw knives for sport. That's given me lots of opportunity for friendships with guys.

   But just because you don't like the same things doesn't mean you can't be good friends. I've discovered that you don't have to act like a guy to be friends with one - you just have to be open and be a good friend.

  Roast 'em good, too - most guys love sarcasm and will sass you to death if you start it. Just be honest, and I bet you can make some great friends.

Sweet or Sour?

  This is a very controversial topic amongst women. How much do you take? What gives you the right to be mean and to leave? Do we just overpower men and do whatever we want?

  My own personal answer is this: I think that girls should always be kind, no matter what. I've been hurt more times than I can count, and I struggle so, so much with forgiveness and sweetness. But it's worth it.

  However, that doesn't mean you should ever stay in a toxic relationship or friendship; there comes a time when it's unhealthy to stay. If a friend or boyfriend is using you or being cruel to you, step out. Don't rub it in their face or start rumors about them or be cruel to them. Just back away quietly and sweetly. They don't get to use your kindness.

  This doesn't only apply to girls - guys should live by the rule of kindness, too. But I actually see unconditional kindness less among girls than guys. Some feminists see guys as horrible, callous creatures; I know that there are plenty of amazing guys out there, and guys are pretty open and accepting. I guarantee that there are some cruel, horrible men out there, too, but my point is definitely not all of them are like that, and I know from experience.

  Girls travel in packs. We get defensive about our territory, and when someone hurts us, we want to fight back; we want to make them hurt. It takes more self-control to step back quietly than to fight, but trust me; I think it's worth it.

  It's a delicate balance, to know how much to take before bowing out. I believe in giving second and third chances, but no more, unless you know them well and they honestly have good reasons; there are special scenarios for all of this. But don't blow up the first time a friend falls through; talk it out and smooth it over. You can usually go from there. Miscommunication is very common.

  Don't be fooled into thinking being kind makes you weak -  oh no. It takes far more strength to be kind than to fight back. No matter how quiet, calm, sweet, and compassionate you may be, none of that means you're weak. Trust me.

  If you're still confused and don't have a clue what I'm talking about, here's a mantra from the famous Tumblr post: do no harm but take no crap.

  It's remarkably accurate, actually.

Conclusion

  That's about it, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

  For real though, if you can practice some of these, I bet you can learn to build more and better friendships. I love all you extroverts AND introverts out there and seriously, I'm always down to talk about random crap so message me whenever. Amethyst, too. If you don't know her yet, she is absolutely amazing, so please love her to death.

  That's all from me, thanks for reading and see you later, my nerds, tomboys, geeks, girlies, sporties, and whatever other options there are, I love you all!

Playlist

  I lied, actually. I decided to throw together a playlist about friendship and introverts/extroverts, just cause music makes everything amazing, and if you feel like you can never find songs that fit your personality, maybe some of these will. Hope you enjoy them :) and please go ahead and suggest your own!

Extrovert Songs:

•Light It Up - OneRepublic
•Go with the Flow - Lika Morgan
•Life Of The Party - Shawn Mendes
•Thunder - Imagine Dragons
•Wild Things - Alessia Cara
•If I Lose Myself - OneRepublic
•Rise - Katy Perry
•It's Time - Imagine Dragons
•Love Letter - Malinda
•Sweet but Psycho - Ava Max

Introvert Songs:

•Tiny Voice - Lexi Walker
•Better - OneRepublic
•Older - Ben Platt
•Mind - Sleeping At Last
•Talking to the Moon - Bruno Mars
•Faded - Alan Walker
•In My Blood - Shawn Mendes
•Lights - Ellie Goulding
•Notice Me - Alli Simpson
•Ease My Mind - Ben Platt

Friendship Songs:

•Count on Me - Bruno Mars
•Better Together - Anthem Lights
•Best Thing - Anthem Lights
•Look What God Gave Her - Thomas Rhett
•Grow As We Go - Ben Platt
•Time Of Our Lives - Tyrone Wells
•Forgive You - Leon Bridges
•Life In Color - OneRepublic
•Sidekick - Walk The Moon
•What You Wanted - OneRepublic
•Top of the World - Anthem Lights

  Technically a few of these are meant for a romance but can just as easily apply to a friendship as well so yeah no romo.

  Anyway, this is the end for real. Love you all. Chin up, no one sees you the way you see you. You are loved, I swear it.

~Opal