Chapter 2: Everything and Nothing

CHAPTER 2: Everything and Nothing

I enter the house right after them and nostalgia hits me as soon as I do. Memories from when I was a little kid coming home from school rush through me. I felt the kid in me failing as it tried to claw its way out of my cold heart

I was pulled away from my thoughts when I heard my dad speaking to my brothers about what's going on. I didn't even bother eavesdropping. Instead, I look around the house. Every inch of the house was covered in pictures. I felt a small pang in my chest, seeing how the pictures of me that were once there are gone, replaced by pictures of this cute little boy, Ashdan, and Aiden. I felt myself tear up at the sight of my twin and my older brother growing up. All those times I could've spent with them, wasted.

That little voice filled with bitterness and resentment spoke to me. Nys. They left you. You know that. No matter how much you care about them, they don't reciprocate those feelings. Like a reflex, my cold facade was back, as though it was never gone. I don't really let my guard down often. There are just certain memories or people that can leave a chip on the wall I have, but it's instantly fixed once I recall how they turn their back on me. It's not like they care anyway.

Laura clears her throat, getting my attention, "I'll show you to your room."

I just hand her a smirk because what else am I supposed to say? Thank you, and I hope you didn't put bugs in it? Yeah, no.

She goes up the stairs and I quietly follow. She opens the door to the room at the right end of the hallway. "This is the guestroom. You'll stay here until we find you someplace else."

My eyes almost fell off their sockets as I entered the enormous room. It was at least twice as huge as my bedroom before--if you could call it that. It looked like heaven. It had white walls with a long white desk on one corner. There was even a balcony in this room, wherein the view was the huge garden we have. I looked up and took notice of the chandelier. My tongue clicked the upper roof of my mouth in appreciation. There has certainly been a lot of changes since I've last stayed here. Then again, it's been five years after all.

"Nice room," was all I could say.

She visibly stiffened and muttered a small thanks. "Let me know if you need anything," she adds but her tone suggested otherwise. The way she had said it indicated that I wasn't even close to welcome and in no position to ask for anything.

"Okay," I reply. I didn't want to snap at her because there is no way I'm getting kicked out.

Once she'd left, I walked towards the bed and lay flat down like a starfish. It was literally the best thing I've ever laid on for the past five years.

Before I could think about anything else, I heard the door squeak, and I quickly sat up. I was shocked to see Aiden, my twin brother, enter the room. I didn't think he'd want to see me after all these years of having no contact with him at all. I quickly brace myself, putting on a brave face. I didn't want him to see any emotions that have started to resurface.

"Hey, Aiden," I say dryly.

Ignoring the attitude laced in my voice, "It's been too long, Nys. I've missed you. I can't believe that we've been apart for this long. We're twins. We should've always been together."

I wanted to say a sarcastic retort. His welcome felt so fake. Everything around me felt like an illusion. He wrapped me in a tight hug, making me still and gape like a fish. It took everything in me not to flinch at his touch. I forced myself to stay still and remember that it was just Aiden holding me, just like the old times. I scrunch my eyes shut and allow myself to relax in his arms. I couldn't bring myself to wrap mine around his, though. That was just too much.

As much as I'd hate to admit it, I missed him, so so much. Something inside me knew that this would be the only one in a few times I would give in to them being affectionate towards me. I can't let myself be attached to them. God knows how much more I would hurt myself if I did.

As I was released from his hug, the cold clung to me, "You never called, even just to check up on me," I muttered bitterly.

His brows furrowed, a frown now clearly etched across his face. "I really wanted to. I tried, Nys," he told me.

I nearly scoffed when he said those words Lies, all lies. "It's fine, Aiden. Don't fret about it."

"I'm going to go out with some friends tonight. Do you want to come with me?" Aiden offered.

Shaking my head, "No thanks, Aid. I'm pretty beat and tired. I just want to rest for now."

A smile shone on his face as he heard me use his old nickname to address him. Nodding, he headed towards the door. Just as he was about to turn the doorknob, he swiveled around and asked, "What happened to mom? What happened to you, Nys?"

My jaw hardened, and I felt my heart drop at his question. I didn't know how to answer the question without telling him the truth. Remembering all the things that happened, I felt numb.

"Everything and nothing," I told him bluntly.

Not taking the answer I just said, his hand left the doorknob and he went to sit on the chair across the desk.

"Nys," he says with a pointed look.

"What?" I respond innocently.

"Don't what me, Nys. That innocent look isn't going to work for me. Something's not right, especially with you."

I start to get furious, have I mentioned my short-temper? How dare he tell me something isn't right. How does he expect everything to be okay after all that I've been through?

"You don't get to tell me what's right and what isn't," I grit out. "You want the truth? Mom is in jail. Happy?"

The look on his face was priceless. "Nys, I didn't know."

"Of course, you didn't! How would you? You knew nothing of my whereabouts or well-being for the past f i v e years, Aiden. How are you supposed to know that she's in jail?" The sharpness of my tone made his face fall.

"Nys, I'm sorry. I- I didn't mean to get you upset," he apologizes, regret all over his face.

I let out a fake laugh. "Right, sorry. Like that's supposed to fix anything." I muttered to myself, but I'm positive he heard it as he hung his head low. "Whatever, Aiden. Just go. Leave me alone."

"Come on, Nys. Don't be like this, please," he begged, taking my hand gently.

The contact made me flinch and retrace my hand. Once again, he furrows his brows.

"Aiden, please. Go," I say, patience running thin. I was only here for less than an hour and everything was setting me on the edge. My father, Laura, my mom, Aiden, they're all too much. It's all too much. I felt myself starting to get light-headed, trying to wrap myself around everything that has happened.

He goes to stand, taking one last glance at me, "I love you, Nys," he murmurs and heads out of the room.

When I was sure that he was gone, a tear rolled down my cheek. "I love you too, Aid. If only you knew," I whisper to myself, my heart aching at the gaping hole wanting to be filled.

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