Cato

You'd think time would help to numb the wound, but it's just more painful at night as I'm walking amongst the trees that she could so easily climb. It's started to drizzle when I suddenly jump, the blare of the Panem anthem startling me. Oh, no, no, no... I look up at the sky, knowing what I'll see, just to see her one last time... and there she is, staring down at me so fierce, radiating power and intelligence. What can I do now? What is there that's left for me without her? My family? That's bullshit. Friends, Clove's the only one. And I couldn't bear to face her family without her. Knowing I'd failed. But... had I? I stare at the sky confused, am I seeing this right? It the rain just blurring my vision. Am I completely delusional? No, it's... it's really not her in the sky. It's Peeta. It's Lover Boy. The cannon earlier, it was him. Which means... Clove's still alive...

Clove

I open my eyes slowly, heavily, to see I'm surrounded by darkness. Where the hell am I? I sit up slowly, only to come reeling back down. My head throbs, and when I reach up I feel the stickiness of nearly dried blood. What happened? I remember Katniss... I attacked her. Did she do this? Did I lose? Did I miss? I never miss. No... no, it was Thresh, the tribute I'd feared so greatly. And it all comes painfully flooding back. He lifted the rock- slammed it down- the pain was unbearable- I passed out. But where? We were at the Cornucopia? Yes, the Cornucopia. I move my head slowly, gently, to see it silhouetted against a dark twilight sky. Cato's favorite color. It's raining, and even the cold pattering of the fat drops hurts my head. The wound is obviously pretty bad. How am I even alive? I wonder. How am I not dead? And- oh god- where is Cato?

I sit up very slowly, but it's still agonizing. My head reels. My arm aches. My stomach lurches.

"Ngh!" I groan, collapsing on my face in the mud, which just hurts more. I lie there, my tears mixed with the wet on the ground from the rain. I have to get to Cato. I crawl mere inches across the ground. And then I throw up, everything taken out of me, and fall on the ground limp. I cringe and attempt to push myself away from the acidic cesspool.

The anthem begins to sound, and I roll onto my back, twisting painfully to see the sky. It's honestly a surprise that I'm not up there. Instead it's the pathetic boy from 12. Peeta Mellark. He stares down with his blue eyes. So the wound Cato gave him finally became too much. And now it's just Cato and I and Katniss and Fynch and Thresh. Cato...? Cato. My love. My all. Where is he? He left me... does he think I'm dead? No, now that he's seen the sky, he surely knows I'm alive. But only barely breathing. My head has started bleeding again and it hurts so so bad. Oh my god... I can't even move. But I need shelter from the rain... if I could only get to the Cornucopia, it's not that far. A few yards. I roll back into my stomach and begin to drag myself towards the dark golden horn. Just a few more yards, two feet, one, and I'm here. I crawl all the way to the very back, shivering from the cold, then violently throw up again. God... I scramble backwards, panting. If only all the supplies hadn't gotten blown up and I could find a blanket or something...

I curl into a ball in the dark and listen to the rain hitting the metal horn. I shiver alone in the dark. The rhythm lulls me into a deep death-like sleep.

-

I wake to the sound of pebbles ricocheting off my bedroom window. Cato. I smile ruefully. This is our reaping day routine.

I whip my blanket off and cross to my closet. I'd had a nightgown on when I went to bed, but had taken it off because I was so hot last night. I'd woken up sweating buckets because it's the 1st of July and who isn't?

Layers of orange fabric.

"I can't help it if you smell like roses."

"We won't be picked. We'll be fine, Cato."

"You always say that."

"And have we ever been picked?"

A gasp escapes my lips. It's Clove Cray. It's me. I will be going to the Capitol to be raised up like a pig for slaughter. I try to remain emotionless. I try to pull it together.
It's too much. It's all too much. I hear someone sobbing behind me and assume it's my mother. The crowd parts so I can walk more easily up to the stage. How nice to look out for my wellbeing.

"I volunteer."

What is he thinking?

"I can't lose you, Clove. Not both of you." She's talking about my father. I never knew him, and from what I'm told he seems like kind of a dick, but my mother must have loved him to some extent.

Once I'm in my room, I fling my shoes off and rip the flowers from my hair, tossing them around on the floor. They remind me too much of Cato, and I cannot think of him right now. If I do, I will likely cry forever. I'm already crying though, I see myself in the bathroom mirror as I make my way into the room; eyes red and puffy, cheeks slick with tears. I tell myself it's ok; this is the time to cry, when there are no cameras, no insane Capitol people, no mentors, and no Cato to see me like this.

"Cato?" I say nervously. It's barely out of my mouth when I feel Cato's strong arms around me. He isn't wearing a shirt, and his skin is hot and slick with sweat. "Cato?" I ask again. I can feel him trembling and he's making odd choking sounds. It takes me a moment to realize he's crying. "Cato, what-"

"You died, Clove." Cato says, his voice strained and frantic. "You died."

I hold him close and say, "It was just a dream, Cato. I'm here." My voice cracks, and drops to a whisper. "I'll never leave you."

"Together... or not at all."

I stare into Cato's eyes, reflecting the lights of the Capitol, and I begin to see the world in a different way. Before; there was everything. Everything in the world was on my mind. Now; there is nothing but Cato. He is all I see, all I will ever see, nothing else matters. I am him and he is me. We are one. Two bodies but one soul. And right now, this moment, is all that matters and will ever matter. This moment where we are alone in the universe, with no worries, no troubles, nothing but each other and our love; it is all I have ever lived for.

I don't know why I do it. Maybe because I can't stand him talking like this. Maybe because I want to prove I'm not heartless. Or maybe because I don't want to lose him yet. All I know is that I am almost, if not more, as surprised as he is when I takes his face in my hands and cut him off with a kiss.

"Glimmer knows our plan."

"We're almost out of time, but I have just one more question. It's about your district partner. Cato, isn't it? Do you find him a threat?" I swallow hard. "No," I say. "I don't think he could kill me." It's true. Let the audience make what they want of that.

There's a burning intensity that drives us closer and closer until I don't know where my body ends and his begins. We are a raging fire that can never be extinguished. My hands move down to his hips, and my fingers slip lower and lower. Cato picks me up again and presses me against the wall, trapping me in his grasp. His kisses move from my lips to my neck, to my chest, and back to my lips. I can't stop. I will never stop. I can feel the towel sliding away, and suddenly I have to stop, because it's too much. It all happened so fast.

"Good luck," Marina says as the clock hits zero and everyone runs. About half go to the cornucopia and the others run for the woods. I sprint straight for the knives and reach them just before another does- the girl from 3. I consider killing her but have a double take. The fear in her eyes... and she's such a skinny little thing. The mercy I give her ends up being worthless, as Marina takes the chance and slashes her leg with a sword, nearly severing it. I turn away and notice two tributes fighting over a backpack. The District 9 boy and...

Katniss... I run towards the two and fling a knife at the boy. An explosion of blood emits from his back and throat as he falls to the ground. Katniss recoils as a spray of blood hits her face. She notices my knife in his back, then looks up and notices me, just ten yards away, a dozen knives clutched in one hand. She grabs the backpack and turns to run. I fling a knife at her head, but she hitches her backpack up and blocks it. I curse under my breath.

I never miss.

"I wish it... I wish we could all make it out," Marina.

"I'm Chase," the boy says.

It's Marina, writhing on the ground, her limbs twisted at odd angles, covered in oozing lumps from the stings. She mumbles something about a tiny girl. The venom makes her scene even more grotesque. "Tiny girl, tiny... don't sting me." She says. "Marina!" I drop to the ground beside her, snapping out of my daze. My head pounds and the forest floor tilts slightly. The excruciating pain from my stings hits me at full force. But it's nothing compared to the pain of seeing Marina like this. "Marina..." tears have started to leak from my eyes. "No... no, I..." "Tiny... Clove?" Marina says faintly, pulling out of the fog for just a second. "Yes, it's me, its Clove. Marina I'm here, just... stay with me." I say weakly through a vail of tears. A cannon booms, seeming louder and longer than usual. "No! Marina don't... don't leave me, Marina... Marina..." I clutch her broken fingers as if I could give some of my life to her. Or all of it. It was supposed to be her. Cato and I couldn't leave each other, so it had to have been her. But now here we are, and there she is, slipping away from me. "Marina." I say; a statement, a promise, a tribute to a tribute who deserved to be more than just a piece in the Games.

"YOU DID THIS!" Cato screams and rushes towards him. Chase turns but Cato catches him in a headlock. He twists his head violently to the side and lets him drop onto the upturned dirt. A cannon goes off. "Cato..." my mouth hangs open slightly, hurt playing at my face. Anger. Shock. "How could you?" I look up at him and see something there in his face that wasn't there before. Something strong and something fierce. Something a hope I never get on the wrong end of. It's a change. A bad one.

"I love you." I whisper into his hand. "I love you, too." Cato says and pulls me closer.

"Clove," he whispers. He's crying. I'm crying. "We can win."

"I'm Fynch."

"I promise I'll kill everyone we come across."

After I hear the announcement, I shudder a little at the thought of the feast. What will we get? What will be in our bag? Food? Or armor of some sort...? Of course we'll go, though. I start to walk towards where I think the Cornucopia is. Surely Cato will have the sense to meet me here tomorrow? Tomorrow at dawn. Something we need desperately...

It's Thresh. It's Thresh and he's got me held in his arms like a rag doll and I'm thinking, how am I gonna get out of this? He throws me to the ground and I land flat on my back and feel the wind go right out of me. No, no, no, this can't be happening!- "No! No, it wasn't me!"

"CATO!" I scream. "CATO!"

"Clove, no! Clove! Stay with me! Clove, please! Clove, stay with me! Stay with me! Clove..."

-

"Clove!" Cato screams, waking me from the terrifying montage in my head. "Jesus, Clove, I though you died... oh, Clove, stay with me."

Stay with me.