Tonks' POV

Days passed by and I don't remember having any important dreams during that time. I have to asadmit there were days where I awould wake up out of my bed with my clothes and feet dirty and muddy but I didn't really give that importance. Those were just... Walburga things.

But in those days the thing that was the most important to me was Remus. After thinking a while of what I felt that day, I couldn't stop thinking about him. His face got sealed on my eyes and on every turn I would take I would feel him following me about to hit me like the first time.

I wondered how he felt. Did he love me? Maybe all those days I never really caused a good impression on him. I'm kind of good at searching for the worst parts of stuff so having weird thoughts of him rejecting my love were haunting me.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

Remus' POV

He thought maybe the distance that was being created between them was the right thing. He thought that maybe a while without seeing each other would give Tonks the perfect time to know other people. But every second he thought of Tonks with someone who wasn't him... he... he couldn't handle it.

She was an explosion of joy and hope in his life. She was a candle in his dark life.

And he was selfish.

He was not willing to share that light with anyone.

Tonks' POV (again)

It was late at night and for some reason I was still awake. I was sitting in front of the muggle tv I had at home hugging tightly a green pillow. Sometime I liked to watch horror movies and scare myself for a while. To fell the adrenaline of being frightened. The lights off. Just perfect.

"He's here!" the man from the tv said. "Listen to me! He's here!"

His maniac eyes followed every single person that left the room. I felt I was there, following the woman with the red dress.

"Trust me," the man said grabbing the young lady's arm. "He's here... And he's going to kill us."

I know that was probably the worst I-want-to-sound-scary line ever but actually I jumped of terror because of the sudden knock on my door.

I looked at the clock next to me. Why would someone be there at my house at that specific time?!

I stood up and walked slowly towards the door, without forgetting my wand of the couch. I unlocked the door and took some steps behind. Pointing my wand at whoever was behind that door, I softly started speaking.

"Who's there?" I heard my voice shaking of fear.

"Why would you unlock the door before asking?"

I automatically recognize my favorite cousin's sarcastic voice and completely opened the door to let him in.

"How did you you know I opened it?" I asked before embracing him.

"Because of the noise. The noise the lock makes when it's unlocked..." he added at my face of confusion.

"Okay. Then... Hmm... Want some tea? Coffee?" I said as I make a sign for him to sit on the messy couch.

"No, thanks."

"Oh! Please! Forget the time I broke the mug on your head! I was only five!" I turned on the lights.

"You still act like a five year old girl."

I smiled. I was expecting his usual mocking smile but everything I got grimace. Was he okay?

"What's that?" he asked pointing at the tv.

"It's a muggle thing, it's called television." I turned the lights on and sat next to him. "I was thinking of showing it to Arthur, you know, he's really into muggle stuff... but-"

"I have bad news." he interrupted me.

"Bad news?"

"It's about Arthur Weasley... he's hurt."

***

"You are always welcome here, don't worry." I said after my cousin denied my offer of staying in my house for that night.

"Thanks for the offer but today's not the right day, the Weasleys are coming to Grimmauld Place... I must be there."

And right after finishing that phrase he turned around and left my house. I went back to the couch. The lights on, the movie still playing, I felt tears rolling down my cheeks.

All that time I had been living in a bubble. Conscious of what was happening but doing nothing really big to change it. Times were dark and I still had a rainbow floating above my head. I-I had to do something.

The taste if tears got inside my mouth.

I was crying because of Arthur, because of Arthur and because of me.

***

Remus' POV

Arthur survived the attack. If it wasn't for Harry he would probably be dead, at least that's what Dumbledore said.

A while ago Remus left Saint Mungo after visiting Arthur Weasley. He seemed so... damaged, for a second Remus thought his scars were nothing. All those bandages covering his arms but he was still happy. How could he do it?

That made Remus think that maybe no matter he was a werewolf and how hard he had been hurt, how deep his physical and psychological scar were, he could be happy.

The difference was that Arthur's scar could heal, there was no cure for his.

"Maybe one day I'll teach him how to ride my motorcycle!" Remus heard a voice outside Grimmauld Place.

"He'd love to learn!"

This time it was a girl.

"Just try imagine Molly's face when she sees Arthur wearing cool shades and a black leather jacket on the motorcycle!"

"Oh Merlin! She'd faint!"

The werewolf heard loud laughs and both Sirius and Tonks entered the room running out of air.

Remus stared at them confused of what was happening. He had seen Tonks and Sirius around each other more than usual those days.

"Oh-Oh Gosh!" Tonks said trying to breath.

"Did I miss something?" Remus asked shyly.

"Nothing important, Remy" the pink haired girl pulled Remus' cheeks. "Arthur's better, he's fine, happy"

"Yea, I know. I was there a few minutes ago."

"Really? Why didn't we see you?" Tonks added collapsing on the sofa next to Remus.

"Maybe he left just before we arrived" Sirius said trying to collapse next to Tonks but failing and ending on the floor.

"And I thought I was the clumsy one!" the girl exclaimed starting to laugh harder than ever.

Both Remus and Tonks stood up to help Sirius get back to the sofa, which was really hard because he was dying of laughter. Remus blushed. He didn't understand what was happening and Sirius and Tonks acting like that was shocking him.

Tonks and Sirius sat on the couch with Remus between them, they were both laughing so that made Remus even more uncomfortable.

Finally the waters calmed and the people around Remus could finally breath. Tonks' leg was slightly touching Remus' leg, he tensed and blushed at the same time. Tonks sighed, not looking at him.

"Actually I don't know why I am here..." she said. "I was supposed to go home after seeing Arthur."

She looked at Sirius, totally disregarding Remus.

"You brought me here, it's your fault!"

"Don't blame! You followed me here!" Sirius answered dramatically.

"Maybe..." she giggled. "Then I must go. I've got work to do..."

She made a sad expression and left the room. Remus stared at her. How could she be so beautiful? But a better question was: how could a girl like that love someone like him? Was that even possible?

Probably right in that moment Sirius was laughing at Remus' expression and at his half opened mouth. For that moment he didn't care.

"Bye!" she finished and disappeared behind the door.

***

"Since Arthur Weasley is still recovering," Alastor Moody announced. "We need one person to take his part in this mission. I must tell you it's really important. Anyone?"

Sirius sighed. He knew he couldn't take part of any mission no matter how much he wanted to.

Remus raised his hand without knowing what he was getting into.

"Okay." Moody said after noticing that Remus was the only one volunteering. "You'll work with Nymphadora Tonks."

***

"We must tell Tonks"

"Tell Tonks what?" Sirius answered without taking his eyes from his wand.

"That I'll be working with her..."

"Is this an excuse to see her?" Sirius raised an eyebrow making Remus blush a little.

"No"

"You're bad at lying. I'll tell her" he stood up and started walking firmly towards the door.

"Wait. Where are you going?"

"To her house, to tell her..."

"You shouldn't leave Grimmauld Place..."

"It's Tonks house, I've been there before. It's safe."

"You've been there before?" Remus asked confused. Why would he go to Tonks' house?

"Yea. I know her since she was born..."

"I know but why would you-" was that jealousy in his voice?

"I must go, I need to see her. Right?" he said and left a confused Remus sitting on the couch.

What would be so important?

Since when they had secret meetings on Tonks' house?

Since when were they so close?

What had changed?

What if they were a-

Remus didn't even want to finish that question.

The idea of Tonks felling in love with someone else was enough to keep him awake at night, it was worse if that someone was his best friend. He knew Tonks and him had barely seen each other after the horcrux thing but Remus thought that wasn't enough for her to fell in love with-

He couldn't even think it.

But maybe they were happy together and had been happy for a long time. Maybe they had been together since the Order reunited again.

He didn't want them to be happy. He didn't want Tonks to be happy with someone who wasn't him.

And for the first time in his life Remus felt like the wolf he thought he was. Trying to control Tonks' life, trying to make her love him when she didn't. And worse when he thought it was best for her not to love him.

He was a furry ball of confusion.

He knew he was being selfish.

And if Sirius truly loved Tonks...

Then...

He gave up.

Sirius cou-could... could be with Tonks.

And he would be happy about it.

***

Tonks' POV

"It has to be the best-gift-ever!" I exclaimed opening my arms dramatically.

"We don't even know what we're going to give him"

"I've been thinking every single day about that, Sirius, and I still have no idea!" I nearly screamed. "Christmas is coming and we-"

Sirius put his hand on my mouth.

"Lick it if you want, it's dirty" he whispered before I did anything. "Look, he's right there"

I looked at the door of Arthur Weasley's room. Remus was standing right in front of it.

Sirius and I agreed of visiting Arthur and then buying a present for Remus. Christmas was coming and Arthur was going to be released so we wanted to say hi for a last time before he left Saint Mungo. I had even brought him some flowers.

Remus raised his head and we made eye contact. He looked at me and then at Sirius. His eyes landed on me, he blushed a little. I must admit, I think I blushed too.

"Tonks. Sirius. I wasn't expecting seeing you here..." he said as we approached to him.

"We weren't expecting seeing you here either" I answered as surprised as him.

"Did you come to see Arthur?"

"I think the answer's kinda obvious..." I was pretty nervouse. Did he hear what we said? Because his gift was supposed to be a surprise. "I even brought flowers..."

"Well he's asleep now so... you should give them to him another day..." he told me.

"I'll just leave them next to his bed."

I slowly walked inside the room, trying to not to make noise. There more many people there apart from Arthur, all separated by light colored curtains. I found him on the last bed.

I left the flowers on a little white table next to him. I looked at Arthur for a few seconds. I leaned against the wall.

"Tonks?"

I jumped at Arthur's voice next to me, he was awake and he had noticed I was there

"What? I-I thought you were asleep. I'm sorry if I woke you up." I apologized.

"I was half asleep half awake, don't worry."

"Are you feeling better?" I asked trying to begin a conversation.

"Yes, thank you. But I have to tell you I may not be ready for that mission with-"

"Yes! I already know about that... I have Remus offered to replace you. I was here to tell you that."

"Great" he said weakly.

There were a few seconds on silence. I avoided looking at Arthur during that time, my eyes landed on Remus. He was miserably staring at the floor. Why was he always so miserable?

"He loves you, did you know?"

"What? Who?" I said shocked by what Arthur had just said.

"Remus," he replied softly. "he's in love with you. Everyone can notice that. You can see it clearly in his eyes, in the way he acts. Trust me, I've seen it before... I've lived it"

"What? When? How? What?" Those were the only words I could formulate after Arthur finished his speech. I felt my cheeks turning pink like my hair, just a little.

"I know you like him back"

I didn't answer but that didn't prevent my blush from spreading all over my face turning into a human tomato.

"You don't have to be the little girl with the flower waiting for him to ask you out," he continued. "Knowing him, he wouldn't do it. Look at me, I could be dead now. There's no time to sit back and wait, do something, you could be dead in the morning."

He smiled at me, I smiled back. He was so right. All this time I had been waiting for something to happen between him and me and I just didn't realize I wasn't doing anything about it. I really could be dead in the morning. There was no time to waste. I needed to do something.

_______________________
Guuuuys!!!!

I'm really really really really really REALLY sorry for the late update!!

I feel so bad!!

I've just been busy :(

I'm so sorry.

Alsoooo I want to dedicate this chapter to...

(Dun dun duuun)

@nva_nva :D

Because all her support really helped meeee!! (Thank youuuu!)

And everyone's support!! :')

By the way... I hope the fact that my chapters are now longer doesn't bother you :(

Just tell me if it does ;)

Thanks for reading!

Byeee!