After the hugs from Rika, Rapah, Audrina and my five super gwapo unofficial boyfriends, we went out to the beach side where the ceremony will be held. I stood by James as he watched his lovely bride stride in white sand. Irish looked like a fairy, a very gorgeous fairy. We caught each other's eye and smiled. Then, I realized that Robi was marching in front of Irish. What the hell? Does this mean that he is Irish's maid of honor? Or guy of honor, rather? What the hell again?! Why do I even care?! I took a deep breath and focused on Irish marching towards James. If I would be asked to describe the word happiness, I would instantly point to James and Irish. They're the perfect description of happiness right now.

The ceremony ended and the after party started. It is a tradition that the maid of honor and the best man would propose a toast or share a story or simple words to the couple, but in this case the best girl and the guy of honor will do the tradition. I raised my glass first.

"I just want to share this incident that happened in Spain a year ago. As everyone know, I went missing in action after the tour and then after three months James went missing too. Well... James wasn't really sick unlike what the press said. And no, he didn't go to prison or rehab unlike what our rivals have spread. James went to Spain looking for me. That's how good of a friend he is. He just went to Spain not knowing how he could look for me nor where to start, but then he saw Irish from that second hand shop wearing a really, really beautiful wedding gown. He went out of the car he was on, mesmerized with what he had seen. Right there and then, I knew that you've finally found your Gail, my best friend Yi Jeong."

James looked at me with surprised expression.

"Gulat ka noh? Nandun ako. I saw you chasing Irish on the street. And I knew that if I give you more time to be with her, you'll see how she can simply light up your world. And, as always, tama ako... James, take care of Irish. Take care of your happiness. Irish, take care of my best friend. He always took care of us, now, it's time that someone takes good care of him. Masarap magmahal yan si Maxcardo. You're lucky to have the privilege of feeling that love forever. And as for you Maxcardo, mahalin mo pa ng sobra-sobra si Irish, dahil wala ka ng makukuha na ganyan kaganda. To Mr. and Mrs. Jaime Maxcardo. Music. Happiness. And lots and lots and lots of love. Cheers!" I cheered as I raised my champagne glass.

"Cheers!" Everyone chorused.

I went back to my seat feeling proud of my speech. Then, Robi stood up and went up front to give his speech to the happy couple. He looked anxious.

"How do I start this? I don't even know what to say..." Robi sighed.

I couldn't bear looking at him. I turned my gaze to the sea.

"James and I were best friends from way back. Magkasundo kami when it comes to music. We like the same things. And we even liked the same girls. I think it's right to assume that everyone here knows about the happy couple's love story. I never thought that Mr. It's Complicated and the Spanish Senorita would end up together. But, when they did, I realized that they're perfect for each other. James is the type of guy who falls so deep that he would take all the painful blow for the person he loves. He's selfless when it comes to love. Irish, on the other hand, will give everything for love. Two people with so much love to give deserve so much love in return. Both of you can fill this island with love. Of all the pain the two of you have been through, I'm sure that everything becomes worth it when you look at each other. I'm happy that you've reached you happily ever after. To Mr. and Mrs. It's Complicated No More, love, happiness, more love, more happiness, and even more love. Cheers."

Everyone clapped again. I felt like my heart was going to burst. I couldn't breathe. I stood up and walked to the shore. I need to breathe. I need to be far away from all the things that reminded me of this painful thing in my chest.

"Ano ba Adrianne?" I whispered to myself. "After one year, he still has the same effect on you? Maawa ka naman sa sarili mo. Nagpapaka-ta.."

"Yanyan, are you okay?"

Shit. I froze up. It's him. I couldn't move.

"I really wished hard na sana dumating ka. Then, I remembered it's James we're talking about. Malakas yun masyado sayo para Indian-in mo sya... How are you? You were gone for so long."

"You don't have to pretend like you care." I walked out on him.

"Ian, wait!" He called out to me and grabbed my wrist.

I kept my stance. I didn't move from where I was standing. My back still turned to him. Then, He let go of my wrist and hugged me tightly.

Oh no... dam of tears now cracking.

"Ano ba?! Will you stop this drama!" I raised my voice.

"One minute lang, Ian. Please.. I missed you so much."

I struggled to free myself from his embrace.

"Pwede ba, tumigil ka na. Noon nga, ginawa ko yan sayo hindi gumana, what makes you think na gagana yan sakin ngayon? And please, this is James' and Irish's wedding. Don't make this about you. Spare this day from your selfish schemes." I turned away and went back to the reception.

I sat on my designated seat and that's when I felt my heart getting smashed again.

James lent the island to us for a whole week while they're away for the honeymoon. Trey already confessed to the guys what happened to Angelika. They all felt bad, but Trey handled it really well. The only people left in the island were me, the whole band, and their sweethearts. And when I say the whole band I meant Robi too. He's part of Neon again. They stayed true to their words that only three people can be replacements- Trey, Robi and me. Trey was out of reach, I was MIA, so they went for Robi.

I couldn't sleep that night so I decided go out for a walk, but then I saw Rika, Rapah and Audrina sitting by the small bonfire.

"Adrianne!" Rika waved. "Come! Join us!"

I walked to where they were.

"Rapah..." I said as I sat down. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to come to your wedding."

"Okay na yun. You made up for it naman with the video and the song you wrote for us. We played it on our wedding day. Thanks, again." Rapah smiled and hugged me.

"It's been a while, the girl who can't be moved." Rika sighed. "Do you wanna get back in the music scene?"

"Rika..." Audrina gave Rika a meaningful look. "Ian just got back. Let her enjoy her home coming."

"I'm just asking. It's not like I'm gonna make her start right away." Rika explained.

"Riks, the band is already complete. They don't need me." I said.

"Well... I was kind of hoping to sign you as a soloist. You see, the record company has an open slot for another talent."

"No... I didn't even want to join the band then. I only accepted the offer because of..." I can't even say his name out loud.  "...the wrong reason."

"Well... You could be their stylist again!" Rapah suggested.

"Oo nga." Audrina agreed. "The boys may know how to dress, but let's admit that they looked better nung ikaw pa yung nagbibihis sa kanila."

"Wala ba silang stylist?" I asked.

"Wala po." Rapah confirmed. "Kasi, maarte yung mga yun. Ayaw nila ng bagong stylist. Gusto nila, ikaw lang yung magaayos sa kanila."

"Yeah. I'll hire you na lang as the band's stylist." Rika said.

"Well... I need to earn again after blowing off all of my 24 years worth of savings."

"Great. So you start on Tuesday next week." Rika smiled.

"And as for that new talent you were saying, I think I know someone who'll be perfect for that slot." I said in confidence. "I know this guy from way back. His name's Caleb and he's in a band called The Pastels. Kasabayan sila ng Neon when I was in college. They were starting to make a name sa mga bars when I left. They're good."

"The Pastels?" Audrina, thinking aloud. "I think Zach and I heard them play a few weeks back."

"Caleb? The Pastels?" Rapah repeated. "Oh my gosh! You know Caleb?"

"Yeah." I said in surprise.

"Oh my gosh. Small world. Caleb is my bestfriend's boyfriend. Remember Cinderella? Boyfriend nya si Caleb."

"Wow... Really small world." I said as I felt my heart sinking.

It's a really small world indeed. So small that not meeting Robi in this lifetime is impossible.

"Ian... Natutulala ka na naman." Rika squeezed my shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Yes... No... I don't know the difference anymore. I guess I got so used to not being okay that it doesn't matter anymore if I am or not. And I never really had girl friends before so I don't do girl talks. For the longest time, I've had your guys standing by me, and now, they have their own lives and own wives to watch. Now I know why you need girl friends too. Nakakaingit..."

"Adrianne... Those guys love you so much. Kahit pa may pamilya na sila, for them, you will always be their non-official girlfriend and we are more than okay with that." Audrina comforted.

"At kung mga girl friends at kachikahan lang yung kailangan mo, nandito lang kami. Handa naman kami makinig eh..." Rapah enthused.

"Ian... We all know that you're still not okay. Maybe we've known each other far too long and way too deep- lahat tayo, lalo na yung mga boys. They're all worried about you. When you ran away, they went crazy looking for you. And... Robi went crazy too. He sat in front of your house everyday waiting for you" Rika said.

I knew that. I knew that Robi sat in front of our house because he was on the Neon news.  When I suddenly went missing the press started going around trying to find where I was. They went to my house and saw Robi sitting there with a cardboard in his hand. Written there was the phrase: 'Have you seen her?' and a picture of me stuck next to it. Literal much? But still... I waited for him for five years... Five fucking agonizing years and all he gave me was another fucking agony. Let him wait. I still have feelings for him. Otherwise I won't be in pain right now. I still love Robi. But I don' want to love him like this. I don't want to love when my heart is still sooo torn and broken. If I was able to wait for five years, maybe he can too. He knows me. I can never be contained. He knows that I've always wanted to travel and see different places. But when he promised me forever, I refused to move. I stayed right where he left me- figuratively and a bit literally. I've planted myself where Robi left me. Maybe I'll be able to love loving him again if he could wait that long. But then again, 1 year pa lang kami magkahiwalay noon, kinalimutan na nya ko. We'll he be able to wait when I keep pushing him away?

"At least ngayon alam na nya yung feeling na maghintay para sa wala... Sya naman yung masaktan." I said.

They gave me a surprised look.

"I'm sorry if I'm being mean... It's just that I'm still mad at him for making me hurt like this. Ang tagal-tagal na, pero ang sakit sakit pa din..." I explained while my tears betrayed me.

Audrina hugged me.

"Don't you think maybe you're hurting up until now because you and Robi still aren't together? Naeliminate na sa picture yung mga bagay na pumipigil sa inyo noon. Why not try..."

"Drins... Tama na. I've been stupid all my life. I don't have the energy to play stupid again. I'll be fine... Soon.." I smiled.

"So... What do you guys want, tequila or beer? I think James filled the wine cabinets and fridge para satin." Rika suggested.

"Agree ako dyan. Tara! Inuman tayo. Let's all drown our craziness over Neon boys." Rapah cheered.

I laughed about what she said. Craziness over Neon boys...

We spent hours by the beach drinking shots of tequila. So that's how girl bonding feels like. It didn't take long before Zach went out para sunduin si Audrina. Then, as if on cue, si Ali naman yung sumundo kay Rapah. Then Anton went to get Rika. She was tipsy already. Anton pulled her up and held her on the waist.

"Yanyan, let's go in na. It's really late na." Anton said.

"No. I'm okay. I'll stay here muna."

"Are you feeling tipsy? I'll help you up as soon as I get Rika to bed."

"Wag na. Ayoko pa naman pumasok eh. And, kaya ko naman. Nag-wala kaya ako sa Paris. As in drinking session every night, sanay na ko. Don't worry about me." I assured him.

"Pag ready ka na, we'll talk about it ha. Tayong magkakaibigan."

"We'll see."

"Sige na. Ipapasok ko na 'tong babaeng to. Pumasok ka na din pamaya-maya ha."

I nodded. I can't help but smile as I watch them walk together to the house. Pag ininom ko kaya to lahat at malasing ako, may sasalo kaya sakin? Will someone get me here or tatangayin na lang ako ng alon sa malayong-malayo? I'm happy that my guys found their happiness. Sabi ko na nga ba eh. I remember Anton and Rika's wedding. Naisip ko noon na maiiwan nila ako, and I'm right. Naiwan nga ako. Natatawa na lang ako sa pagiging loser ko. I stood up with the bottle of tequila in my hand. I walked nearer to the shore- small waves touching my feet. I took a swig of that throat burning drink and screamed in frustration.

"Ang daya-daya! Bakit lahat sila masaya na?! Bakit ako naiwan mag-isa! Masama ba akong tao?! I want to be happy too! Ayoko na! Masyado ng masakit! Hindi ko na kaya!" I cried out. "Ayoko na! Ayoko na!"

Then, I heard Trey calling out my name. I turned to him. Ali, Anton and Zach were running to where I was as well. I turned back to the sea and burned my throat again with another swig of tequila.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! Ayoko na!"

Then, Trey grabbed the bottle from my hand and hugged me.

"Ian... Tama na..." He whispered.

I struggled to move away from him.

"No! Bitawan mo ko! Let go!"

"Ian... stop it..." He whispered again.

Anton, Ali and Zach wrapped their arms around me, enclosing us in a group hug.

"Ayoko na... I can't take the pain anymore..." I sobbed. "Until now, miserable pa din ako... Ayoko na..."

They were quiet. They didn't say anything. They just kept me warm in their arms as I cried my soul out.