A week after that incident, Ian started avoiding me. Kung noon she was trying to act professional, ngayon ni hindi man lang niya ako matingnan. What pisses me off more was she was always with Jaime. Lagi silang magkasama, nag-uusap, it was as if, James never got married, like he was still in love with my Super Ian. 

Napaka-unfair naman kasi, I know that James was just trying to protect Ian from me, but the thing was, the guys were acting like I will hurt Ian anytime of the day, iyong tipong makita ko pa lang siya, sasaktan ko na siya. Hindi ba nila naisip na kung nasasaktan si Ian, mas nasasaktan ako? She's so close and yet so far, I couldnt' even touch her, I couldn't even look at her. Ang sakit-sakit na. Pero kahit ano pa yatang gawin ko hindi nila maiintindihan iyon. 

It was unfair, they're supposed to be my bestfriends, my brothers, they're supposed to back me up and support me, but I guess that's not gonna happen. 

Sinusubukan ko naman silang intindihin, ang masaklap, kahit naiintidihan ko sila, hindi ko pa rin mapigilan ang mainis. It's like the guys put up a barrier around Ian, isang barrier na mahirap gibain... I feel so frustrated. 

Gabi-gabi na lang akong nag-iisip kung ano ba ang dapat kong gawin para mabawi si Ian, I tried giving her flowers -- kahit na alam kong hindi niya gusto iyon, one time, naisip ko pa nga na magpalipas nang gabi sa labas ng bahay niya, thinking na maaawa siya sa akin pero nagkamali ako. Nakalimutan ko na matigas nga pala ang ulo niya at kapag sinabi niyang ayaw niya, ayaw niya talaga. 

"What the hell?" narinig kong nagsalita si James. Zach stopped singing, Anton turned to me. 

"What?!" nagtatakang tanong ko. Anton shook his head. 

"You're supposed to hit the drums with your drumsticks Robi, so we can produce a harmonious music.." Ali explained to me like he was talking to a moron. Napakunot ang noo ko. Lumapit sa akin si Anton at saka pinalo ang snare drums ko. 

"Just like that, Robin Hood." tatlong beses niyang inulit iyon. Napailing naman ako. Kinuha ko sa kanya ang "the keeper of my heart" drumsticks ------- i gave that to Ian the night before I left for Spain, but she gave it back to me that day I last saw her... 

"I know what to do..." mahinang sabi ko. Nakita kong napailing si Ali. 

"I guess we have to take a break now, mukhang pagod na si drummer boy." I sighed. 

"Look you don't have to do that.. I'm fine.." I said in a low voice. James shook his head. Napakunot naman ang noo ko, ano na namang ibig sabihin ng ginawa niyang iyon? Was he disappointed? Tumalikod si James, Ali followed him. 

"Break ninyo?" biglang bumukas ang pinto at saka pumasok si Rika. Automatically, biglang tumayo si Anton at saka lumapit sa kanya. He even kissed her cheeks. 

"I missed you..." bulong pa nito. Rika blushed. 

"P.D.A. much?" narinig kong kumento ni James. 

"Tawagin mo si Irish para hindi ka naiinggit." tatawa-tawang sabi ni Zach. 

I shook my head. I looked at Anton, I know that it's impolite to stare but i just couldn't help it. Naiinggit ako. 

Naisip ko bigla, kung hindi kaya ako umalis, ano na kaya kami ni Ian ngayon? What if I stayed? Tulad na rin kaya kami nila Anton at Rika ngayon? I promised her forever, kung hindi siguro ako umalis, nasimulan ko nang tuparin ang pangako kong iyon sa kanya. 

"Honey..." the door opened again, and this time Rapah entered. Ali smiled so wide i could see his gums form where I was. 

"Stop kissing Rapah, Ali! She's still my sister!" reklamo ni James. 

"We're married, dude. Nothing you can do about it.." Ali took out his tounge and made a face, then he turned to Rapah to kiss her again. 

It was tiring to see all these guys happy. Nakakainggit, hanggang ngayon hindi ako makapaniwala na lahat sila, may kanya-kanya nang happy endings. 

"Kuya Robi, bakit?" natahimik ang lahat nang tanungin ako ni Rapah. I just shrugged. 

"I was just thinking." I said. Rapah smiled even more. 

"About Ate Ian again.. uyy..." 

"Nah.. I was just thinking about..." I took a deep breath. I looked at them. They were actually waiting for the next thing that will come out of my mouth. 

"What's the secret? How do you guys do it? Is there some sort of a technique to finally get a happy ending? Cause you know, natutunaw na ang utak ko kaka-isip kung paano ko mababawi si Ian." i sighed. i sounded so despearte. I couldn't believe that I'm actually having this conversation with them!

To my surprise, they laughed. Rapah smiled at me. Pero hindi naibsan noon ang pagkainis na nararamdaman ko. Why are they laughing at me?

"What the hell is wrong?" I demanded. 

"You know, Robi. Not so long ago. Ian asked us that question." zach said, still laughing. I glared at James, tumatawa rin siya. 

"What happened? What did you tell her?" Anton shook his head.. 

"Things..." ngumiti siya saka hinawakan ang kamay ni Rika. 

"Like what?" suddenly, nothing matters anymore. Knowing that Ian asked them the same question gave me lost of hope. Kung anuman ang sinabi nila Anton sa kanya, gustung-gusto ko ring iyon malaman. Baka mamaya, matulungan ako noon para mabawi ko na siya. 

"Go figure it out yourself Robi." biglang sabi ni James. I looked at him. 

"What?" he just shrugged. 

"Figure it out. I'm with Ian on this one. Hindi ko hahayaang maging madali sa'yo ang mga bagay-bagay."

Great, just great. Umiral na naman ang pagiging kontrabida ni James. I glared at him. He was just grinning. Unfair! Sobrang unfair. 

"Robi.." i heard Rika. i just shook my head. Tumayo ako. Aalis nga muna ako dahil baka mamaya, bigla ko na lang masapak si Jaime.

 I was walking down the corridor when I heard someone, shouted my name. 

"Robi!" it was Audrina. She was waving at me. Kasama rin niya si Ian. Dahan-dahan akong lumapit sa kanila. I was just staring at Ian, trying to memorize every detail of her face... savoring this moment... 

"Hey..." mahinang sabi ko. Nag-iwas siya ng tingin. A huge ball of goo flushed in my stomach. 

"Hi, Drins..." I smiled at her. I was still looking at Ian. Habang siya, binibilang yata ang alikabok na nasa window glass. I sighed. I held her hand. I don't care kung mapahiya ako sa harapan ni Drins, i just really need to tell her this. 

"I love you. I never stopped loving you and I will never stop loving you kahit na ang tigas-tigas ng ulo mo at ayaw mo na sa akin. Mahal pa rin kita. I still want to spend my forever with you..." I stared at her. I saw a tear fell down her eyes, I immediately wiped it. Then finally I let go of her hand.. and I walked away.. 

____

"Hey Ian, waiting for your bus?" 

I smiled when I saw Caleb walking towards me. He was still wearing that same sad smile. 

"I'd rather take a cab, Caleb." ngumiti ako saka sinuntok siya sa balikat. "What are you doing here? Rika called you?" 

"She did. She wanted me to go back on Monday with the boys, for an audition with the producers." napangiti ako lalo. 

"I'm happy for you Caleb." Caleb looked at me. 

"Really? We'll thanks, although I can't say the same for you.." 

"Huh?" Ano bang sinasabi niya? Hindi ko siya maintindihan. 

"We'll Ian, you have to give it to Robi. Nakikita mo naman siguro na hanggang ngayon, para pa rin siya sa'yo? I saw him in the news. He was sitting in front of your house. Mukha siyang tanga, dahil araw-araw na pumupunta ang mga friendly reporters doon, nandoon siya. Kulang na lang ipaskil niya sa ibaba ng picture mo ang salitang wanted. O kaya naman, 'Please, Ian, come back to me.'" 

Napanganga ako. I couldn't believe that Caleb is telling me these things. I never really thought that the day will come na sasabihin niya sa akin ang mga ito. 

"What's wrong with you, Caleb?" alanganing tumawa ako. He shrugged. 

"We'll I just wanna wake you up, Ian. Gumising ka na. Heto na iyong chance mo para maging masaya, are you just gonna let it slip away?" he sighed. "If I were you, sumuko ka na kay Robi. Naiingit nga ako sa'yo eh. You know? I would give everything just to have her back." 

Caleb turned to me. 

"Ang swerte-swerte mo, Ian." he said in a low voice. 

I stared at Caleb for a while. He smiled again. Sa tuwing ngumingiti siya, lalong nakikita ang kalungkutan sa kanyang mga mata.

"Mas swerte iyong hinihitay mo kaysa sakin. Kasi, yung prince charming nya, pinapanindigan sya at papanindigan sya kahit gaano katagal..." I punched him lightly on the shoulder.

"Well... You did your time of waiting too. Quits lang tayo."

"Hindi rin. I think... Waiting is when you just keep on waiting even if that person asks you to stop waiting... Walang time limit ang paghihintay. Hindi mo bibilangin kung gaano ka katagal naghintay. Mali ang term na 'waiting' sa kagagahan ko kay Robi noon. I believe the right term would be 'fighting'. I was fighting for my so called happiness. A fight I lost."

"Hindi ka natalo. You won Robi. You made him remember how much he loves you."

"I would've won if I made him remember the day before I decided to just walk away. I would've won kung buzzer beater. Kaso hindi eh. Robi remembered a day late. Sayang noh? Tumatalon na sana kami ngayon sa tuwa... Alam mo, kahit pa anong gawin nya, hindi ko pa din kayang payagan yung sarili ko na mahalin sya. I know na it's a given fact that I love him, pero I despise that fact. Masyadong masakit yung nangyari noon. I can't look at him without feeling my heart being torn into a billion pieces more."

"I understand... And I think he does too. Maybe he just can't wait to start his forever with you. But I have this feeling na sya ang magiging perfect example ng definition mo ng 'waiting'."

"Sana nga. Hayy naku! Too much drama... Wait, meron na ba kayong susuotin for the audition? Importante yun. Alam mo ba kung ano ang unang-unang binigyan ng thumbs ng mga producer nung nag-audition ang Neon?"

"Their clothes..."

"Pano mo nalaman?"

"Isa ka sa mga sikat na stylist sa industry plus you're a Neon too. My mga fansite at profiles kayo sa internet. Nabasa ko sa history nyo. And, kailangan pa ba itanong yun? Ikaw ang stylist ng Neon. Period."

"Well, yeah... I'm Neon's stylist, and I'm also going to dress an up and coming band who will become as huge as Neon- The Pastels."

"Ano?" He was surprised.

"Yeah... I'm going to help you guys. I'll be your stylist. I know malaking percentage ng pagsikat is talent and luck, but image can do wonders too. Ang dami ngang mga feeling singers sa industry na chaka naman talaga yung boses pero sikat kasi magaling sila magdala."

"Wow... Ian, maraming-maraming salamat... Tinulungan mo na nga kami kay Ms. Rika, pati sa image tutulungan mo din kami. Thank you talaga."

"Wala yun... You're like my best friend now. Nung nag-asawa kasi si James, hindi na kami masyado nakakapag-bond o kaya nagkukwentuhan. Lahat sila married na, si Trey naman, may sariling mundo... So ayun. Naiwan ako mag-isa."

"Ikaw din, para kitang best friend. Nasasabi ko sayo lahat ng kadramahan ko sa buhay. Yung mga kabanda ko kasi, hindi ko naman masabihan. Puro kalokohan at pambababae lang ang alam."

"I wanna meet your band. And mabuti na din na makilala ko sila so I know what to make you guys wear sa audition."

"Sakto, may gig kami tonight. The guys will be sooo surprised pag nakita ka nila. Lalo na pag nalaman nila na ikaw ang magbibihis samin. Tara sakay na tayo ng bus."

He was going to hail the approaching bus when I tugged on his arm.

"Let's take a cab instead." I whispered.

"Sorry. Nakalimutan ko..." He apologized and hailed a cab.