Super Ian's 

Cloud Nine. That is where I am right now. I sighed. I didn't know that I could still feel this kind of happiness. Ni hindi ko na nga alam na posible palang maging masaya ang isang tao ng ganito. Naisip ko ang tagal ko na palang malungkot na dumating sa punto na nakalimutan ko na kung paano maging masaya. And right now, I'm so happy. And the most unbelievable thing about it was that, the reason of my loneliness was also the reason for my happiness. 

I guess I just needed to overdose myself with the Robi capsule. 

"Good afternoon, Maam" the guard greeted me. Masayang nginitian ko siya. I didn't know that when you're this happy, everything around you will look so much better. Even Kuyang Guard looked better. 

"Nandito pa po ba iyong Neon?" I asked him. The guard smiled at me again. 

"Umalis na sila. Pero si Sir Trey nandyan pa." he said. Iminuwestra niya sa akin ang itaas. I shrugged. What would Trey do upstairs? Napailing ako. He's been acting really weird these past few days. I noticed that right after Neon's anniversarry concert. He wasn't the usual Trey anymore and that worries me. 

I found him sitting on a chair inside the recording booth, looking serious as if he was thiking about something really deep. I pushed the door open and just like that he looked at me. I could see an unfamiliar emotion in his eyes - something that I'm not used on seeing. 

"Trey? Why are you still here?" I asked, amused. He sighed and turned to me. 

"I'm thinking." he simply said.I walked towards him to take a goo look.

"Sino?" he smirked. I smiled. The thing with Trey was he seldom smiles anymore. Mula noong mawala si Angelika, minsan ko na lang din makita ang ngiting niya. 

"Bakit sino agad ang tanong mo? Hindi ba pwedeng ano, o bakit?" napangiti siya. 

"Dalawa lang naman iyan eh.. It's either your thinking of living the country again or your just simply thinking about Jenny." I shrugged. Trey looked lost for a moment. At habang nakatingin ako sa kanya, I knew that he had ound his way back. 

"I don't know..." he whispered.

"Bakit naman?" I asked. Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang excitement na nararamdaman ko. Knowing that my friend was back - the old Trey was here again - I couldn't help but to be happy for him. 

"I know I'm in love with Jenny, but everytime I think of Angel, I feel so guilty. It's like ---"

"Cheating?" He nodded. "Hindi naman ganun iyon Trey eh. Kai loved you, we all knew that. Kung hindi, di sana hindi ka niya pinakasalan. Mahal ka niya, nakita namin kung gaano ka niya minahal, and she died loving you... Ano nga uli iyong mantra ninyo? Always and forever and ever..." huminga siya ng malalim. "wala na naman akong sense kausap..." natawa ako. Looking at Trey and knowing that he finally found someone to share his always and forever with made my insides melt. 

Suddenly, Robin Hood's face flashed in my mind. And I felt like I wanted to run away and be wherever he is.

"Ano ba si Robi sa'yo?" napaamaang ako sa tanong ni Trey. I looked at him and after some seconds I punched his shoulder. 

"What the?!"

"Ikaw ang pinag-uusapan hindi kami!"

"Bakit hindi mo masagot? Mahirap ba?" nginisihan niya ako. I made a face. I guess the tables have turned now. Ako na ang nasa hot seat at hindi na siya. I thought about Robi and the memories that we have shared. I remembered him scolding me because I fell down the tree. I thought of that moment when he said that he hated me but then he decided to spend the day with me eating street food, running around the park and skating. I thought of all the times he went on my soccer game just to cheer me kahit na mukha na siyang tanga... then those moments when he made me cry, the moments he made me feel special -- right after making me cry. 

I bit my lower lip.Oh my gosh! Realization hit me. I held back the tears...

Kahit pala anong gawin ko - kahit sabihin kong kinamumuhian ko si Robin Hood ay hindi mawawala sa isipan at sa puso ko ang pagmamahal ko para sa kanya. Nakatatak na sa akin iyon at kahit anong gawin ko ay hindi na mabubura. 

"Robi is that guy, actually, he's the only guy that can make me, laugh, cry, mad ----all at the same time ---- and he's the only one that can stir emotions inside my being that I didn't even knew existed. Iyon siya... he makes my heart beat fast kahit wala siya.. and by just hearing his name, it's enough para mag-sommer sault ang mundo ko... Iyon siya para sa akin..."

"Eh bakit mo pa pinapatagal? Robi's still in love with you, malinaw pa sa tubig dagat na mahal mo rin siya so bakit hindi pa maging kayo?" biglang tanong ko. 

Again, the tables have turned. I am now under Trey's microscopic eyes. I just sighed and shook my head. Actually,I wanted to be with Robi since I could remember. Pero bakit ba hindi ko pa i-grab ang opportunity na ito ngayon? Abot kamay ko na siya. Bakit ko ba pinatatagal. 

"As I said, ikaw ang pinag-uusapan at hindi ako. Ano ba sa'yo si Jenny." 

It was Trey's turn to fell silent. Tulad ko ay napaisip rin siya. Maybe he was thinking about Jenny the same way I am thinking about Robi right now. 

And then I realized that the reason why I didn't want to be with him even though I'm so in love with him was the fact that I am still scared that Robi might leave me hanging on  thread again. I don't want to get hurt again. Hindi pa nga ako nakaka-move on sa five yeras na heartaches at uncertainties na siya ang dahilan tapos madadagdagan na naman. I don't wan to be Ian - the passive girl that couldn't move. I want to be Ian - the girl who can move, Ian who is genuinely happy because she love life and everything it has to offer. Ian - the girl who couldn't move can't be like that. 

But then again, if Robi's not with me - I couldn't be the happy Ian. Kasi kahit itanggi ko sa aking sarili, my heart and soul knew that without Robi, my world won't move. 

Ang hirap ng situation. 

Your happiness can alway be the reason of your pain. 

Saan ba ako lulugar?

Nagulat ako nang biglang tumayo si Trey. 

"Where are you going?" I asked, confused. Then, he smiled at me. A smile of happiness and pure bliss - the same smile I wanted to have - the smiled that I had been longing to see on my face for a long, long time. 

"Mag-iipon ng confidence." he winked at me. Before he reached the door, I called him. 

"Hindi mo na kailangan iyon, gwapo ka na eh." 

After that he was out of the door. I sighed. I was left inside the recording studio not knowing what I should do or think or feel about this newly found happiness - and - uncertainties I have found now that I am allowing myself to be with Robi. 

Masaya ako. 

Siguro iyon muna ang uunahin ko.Ang sayang nararamdaman ko. I took a deep breath, took out my phone and dialled Robi's number. I felt disappointed when I heard his answering machine.  I decided to just leave a message.

"Hey." I said. "I - I dont know Robi. I'm not sure about this." I bit my lower lip. "But I am happy and that's all I wanted to be. I've been so sad for the past few years that you're not with me and I actually forgot how to be happy.  But now... I guess it doesn't matter anymore. I love you. I'm in love with you and I think I'll be in this state for a long, long time. Yeah. Wala lang. I missed you and I love you. Bye. I guess."

I turned off my phone. I stayed in that position for a few minutes. Then I decided to go home but before I could tale a step towards the door, bumakas iyon at iniluwa si Robi. He was standing in front of me with that amused smile on his face - his phone on his left ear. He looked at me. 

"I am happy too. And I love you very much, Ian. I still want to spend my forever with you. Babawi ako. Hinding-hindi na kita paiiyakin."

We stared at each other for a while. Then I put my hands on my waist. 

"You have that look." he said. 

"What look?" I asked. "Move over." 

And he did. The next thing I knew I was running towards him. Robi caught me. I wrapped my legs around his waist tilted his head and gave him an honest to goodness kiss that originated in France. 

We were breathless but I didn't want to stop. It was only when we heard an annoying "ubo" - we froze and looked at the other side of the corridor. 

We saw Ali and Rapah standing there - Rapah - teary eyed and awe struck, Ali  grinning like a little boy. 

"Baby! I guess I have a new car!" Ali exclaimed. "Panalo ako sa pustahan namin ni James!"

Napatingin ako kay Robi. He was looking at Ali. Then he looked at me. 

"Let's get out of here." Ibinababa niya ako pagkatapos ay hinawakan ang kamay ko. I could hear Rapah's laughter and Ali's scream of joy. Tiningnan ko ang kamay ni Robi na nakahawak sa kamay ko. 

Bahala na si Batman. Basta masaya kami ni Robin Hood, okay na sa akin.