Weasley Wizard Wheezes
A lot of Nova's summer was spent helping the Order or planning for some illegal practices. . .totally not necromancy. But today . . .today was the one day Nova was able to have off from the Order.
Today is July 31st; Harry's sixteenth birthday.
Normal girlfriends would wake their significant others up with a soft kiss or a gentle nudge. Something soft and sweet. Not anything that would cause too much noise or discomfort.
But Nova is far from normal, and she makes it known.
She ripped the covers off of Harry (ignoring the fact he was only wearing blue plaid boxers) and started jumping on his bed. Nova, of course, decided it best to do this the moment the clock struck midnight.
"WAKE UP, HAROLD!" She yelled. "WAKEY WAKEY DARLIN!"
Harry cracked an eye open. It was blurry, but the figure was clearly Nova.
Nova belly-flopped next to Harry once he moved to the side, allowing her to have some room. Propping herself up on her elbows, Nova grinned at him.
"I'm bored. Give me attention."
"Give me the blankets."
"No."
"Then I won't give you attention."
"See, that just doesn't sit right with me," Nova pouted. "You know, Potter, I heard of this one tradition where the birthday boy gets kisses on his birthday."
Harry opened his eyes.
"But seeing as I can't have my cuddles . . ." Nova began with a smirk. "I'll have to give them to Hermione."
Nova was almost instantly wrapped in Harry's arms.
"Works every time," Nova smirked to herself before summoning the blankets over them and falling asleep in his arms.
"Love, if your cat interrupts my cuddles," Harry began in his morning voice. "We will be fighting."
"How the fuck did she get there?" Sirius yelled five hours later as he strolled into the room. "Last I checked, she was in her room!"
"She walked like any normal person would," Alex sassed. "I've heard you were slow but . . .I thought you would at least know typical forms of transportation."
Sirius glared at them as Alex grinned cheekily.
James was trying not to laugh.
"Where are his hands?" Regulus demanded. "They better not be in the 'no touchy' zone!"
Harry pulled her closer to him.
With a content sigh, Nova fell asleep once more.
It was around seven in the morning when Harry and Nova finally decided to join society. Well . . .sorta. Tonks, Teddy, Ron, Hermione, and Timmy were still asleep. It was a quiet morning at Lupin Cottage.
Nova strolled into the kitchen wrapped in Harry's jumper and her quaffle pajama pants. Her hair was messily thrown into a bun. Harry's hair was messier than normal as he wore a normal t-shirt and pajama pants.
Nova busied herself in the kitchen as she prepared everything for breakfast. Harry helped, but Nova forced him to sit and do nothing.
Remus leaned in the door frame as he grinned at the sight of his daughter busting out her dance moves as she worked. Harry was laughing his arse off as she did so.
"You know," Rems began startling Nova. "Normally when someone comes home from a mission, they wish to hug their beautiful daughter."
"Oh hey, Pa," Nova greeted timidly. Her eyes widened in realization.
She quickly dropped her whisk before launching herself into her Pa's arms.
"PA!" She greeted happily.
"'Ello, Lion," Remus grinned as he wrapped his arms around his daughter.
"I thought you weren't going to be back till Saturday!"
"That's what I told you. Did Operation Peter Pan go alright?"
"Timmy's asleep in our guest room. Hermione is in my room. Ron is in the second guest room. Tonks fell asleep in Teddy's room." Nova reported back as she turned back to the pancakes.
"Happy birthday, Quidditch Captain," Remus grinned as he sat across from Harry. "Your dad would be proud of you."
"Thanks, Remus," Harry blushed.
"Lion, when is your next patrol?"
"Saturday when we go to Diagon Alley," Nova answered as she flipped a pancake. "Although, I think I'm being moved to 'Harry Potter Protection Squad' then."
"You seriously named it?" Harry asked flabbergast.
"Technically Oli did. By the way, he says good job on making captain," Nova said placing two pancakes on plates. "And Molly wants all of us over for dinner tonight. She insisted on cooking for Harry's birthday."
"I'm having lessons with Dumbledore. He suggested telling Ron and Hermione my prophecy." Harry spoke after a few minutes.
Nova and Remus both froze. Remus had more faith in Dumbledore, Nova did not.
"I thought you already to Ron and Hermione," Nova said as she set plates in front of Remus and Harry.
"Well, I didn't want to scare them."
"If they haven't left before, they aren't leaving now, Har, we've been over this," Nova rolled her eyes.
"Did Albus say anything about what your lessons would be about?" Remus asked before taking a bit of pancake.
"No." Harry shrugged. Remus handed him a box. "What's this?"
"Your birthday present," Remus grinned.
"It's not more condoms is it?"
Nova started choking on her pancake. "W-what?"
"For Christmas, Sirius and I got Harry a box of condoms," Remus grinned manically.
"You know I just wanted to eat a peaceful breakfast," Nova grumbled. "But no! You just had to bring up sex."
"Technically, Harry did," Remus smirked.
Harry blushed a dark red. "That's not what I meant."
***
Diagon Alley had changed. The colorful, glittering window displays of spellbooks, potion ingredients, and cauldrons were lost to view, hidden behind the large Ministry of Magic posters that had been pasted over them. Most of these somber purple posters carried blown-up versions of the security advice on the Ministry pamphlets that had been sent out over the summer, but others had moving black-and-white photographs of Death Eaters known to be on the loose. Bellatrix Lestrange was sneering from the front of the nearest apothecary. A few windows were boarded up, including those of Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. On the other hand, a number of shabby-looking stalls had sprung up along the street. The nearest one, which had been erected outside Flourish and Blott's, under a striped, stained awning, had a cardboard sign pinned to its front:
AMULETS
Effective Against Werewolves, Dementors, and Inferi
"One for your little girls, madam?" he called at Mrs. Weasley as they passed, leering at Ginny and Nova. "Protect her pretty neck?"
"If I were on duty . . ." said Mr. Weasley, glaring angrily at the amulet seller.
"And I don't care . . ." Nova murmured before moving to step forward. "Listen here you littl-"
Hagrid, who was tasked with watching Harry, pushed Nova back.
"Yeh don' wanna der tha'." He said gruffly.
"Yes, but don't go arresting anyone now, dear, we're in a hurry," said Mrs. Weasley, nervously consulting a list. "I think we'd better do Madam Malkin's first, Hermione wants new dress robes, andRon's showing much too much ankle in his school robes, Nova needs something other than her leather jacket, and you must need new ones too, Harry, you've grown so much — common, everyone —"
"Molly, it doesn't make sense for all of us to go to Madam Malkin's," said Mr. Weasley. "Why don't those three go with Hagrid, and we can go to Flourish and Blotts and get everyone's schoolbooks?"
"I don't know," said Mrs. Weasley anxiously, clearly torn between a desire to finish the shopping quickly and the wish to stick together in a pack. "Hagrid, do you think — ?"
"Don' fret, they'll be fine with me, Molly," said Hagrid soothingly, waving an airy hand the size of a dustbin lid. Mrs. Weasleydid not look entirely convinced, but allowed the separation, scurrying off toward Flourish and Blotts with her husband and Ginnywhile Harry, Nova, Ron, Hermione, and Hagrid set off for MadamMalkin's.
Harry noticed that many of the people who passed them had the same harried, anxious look as Mrs. Weasley, and that nobody was stopping to talk anymore; the shoppers stayed together in their own tightly knit groups, moving intently about their business. Nobody seemed to be shopping alone.
"They're all anxious and scared," Hermione stated sadly.
"There's a war, Hermione," Ron rolled his eyes. "What did you expect?"
"I know, Ronald," Hermione said hotly, diverting his gaze.
"I mean if I fear every day there will be an attack on the people I love. Like you, my family, Nova, Harry, yo-" Ron froze as he realized what he said, especially since he said it twice. His ears turned red as he tried to play it off. "Obviously are going to fear and travel in packs."
"Ronald isn't wrong," Nova said, helping Ron cover up his confession. She wanted the two to stop being stubborn mules, but it would appear she'd have to wait almost two years for them to finally happen. "This is only what you see. Working behind the scenes and seeing the worst of it, it's hard."
Nova gave an involuntary shudder and Harry grasped her hand, showing he was there.
"Migh' be a bit of a squeeze in there with all of us," said Hagrid, stopping outside Madam Malkin's and bending down to peer through the window. "I'll stand guard outside, all right?"
So Harry, Nova, Ron, and Hermione entered the little shop together. It appeared, at first glance, to be empty, but no sooner had the door swung shut behind them than they heard a familiar voice issuing from behind a rack of dress robes in spangled green and blue.
". . . not a child, in case you haven't noticed, Mother. I am perfectly capable of doing my shopping alone."
There was a clucking noise and a voice Harry recognized as that of Madam Malkin, the owner, said, "Now, dear, your mother's quite right, none of us is supposed to go wandering around on our own anymore, it's nothing to do with being a child —"
"Watch where you're sticking that pin, will you!"A teenage boy with a pale, pointed face and white-blond hair appeared from behind the rack, wearing a handsome set of dark green robes that glittered with pins around the hem and the edges of the sleeves. He strode to the mirror and examined himself; it was a few moments before he noticed Harry, Ron, and Hermione reflected over his shoulder. His light gray eyes narrowed.
"If you're wondering what the smell is, Mother, a Mudblood just walked in," said Draco Malfoy.
"Madam Malkin," Nova sneered as she glared at her cousin. "Please, stab him with the nifty pin of yours or I will."
Draco faltered at Nova's voice as she came into view.
"I don't think there's any need for language like that!" said Madam Malkin, scurrying out from behind the clothes rack holding a tape measure and a wand. "And I don't want wands drawn in my shop either!" she added hastily, for a glance toward the door had shown her Harry and Ron both standing there with their wands out and pointing at Malfoy. Hermione, who was standing slightly behind them, whispered, "No, don't, honestly, it's not worth it. . . ."
"Harry. Ron. Put your bloody wands down before I take them." Nova hissed.
Grumbling with displeasure, they both lowered their wands.
"Yeah, like you'd dare do magic out of school," sneered Malfoy. "Who blacked your eye, Granger? I want to send them flowers."
"That's quite enough!" said Madam Malkin sharply, looking over her shoulder for support. "Madam — please —"
Narcissa Malfoy strolled out from behind the clothes rack.
"You should listen to her," Cissy said coldly to Harry and Ron. "If you attack my son again, I shall ensure that it is the last thing you ever do."
"Really?" said Harry, taking a step forward and gazing into the smoothly arrogant face that, for all its pallor, still resembled her sister's. He was as tall as she was now. "Going to get a few Death Eaterpals to do us in, are you?"
Madam Malkin squealed and clutched at her heart."Really, you shouldn't accuse — a dangerous thing to say —wands away, please!"
Harry did not lower his wand.
"Expelliarmus," Nova hissed as Harry's wand flew to her hand. "Cissy has done nothing to you. If you must know, I find her more likable than the others. Draco, don't play tough guy. We both know you still sleep with Mr. Cuddles."
"Hey! Leave Mr. Cuddles alone!" Draco objected.
"Just saying," Nova shrugged.
"We aren't even going to about Pafoo, Mooey, and Pongs," Draco laughed.
This was the first time Harry, Ron, and Hermione have seen Draco nice. It was the first time they saw a different Draco than the one that tormented them.
"Dray, Mr.Cuddles is a purple bear with a pink heart on it."
"There's no need to expose me."
"Then maybe you should stop being a prat and I won't."
"Ouch!" bellowed Malfoy, slapping her hand away as Madam Malkin accidentally poked him. "Watch where you're putting your pins, woman! Mother — I don't think I want these anymore —"
"Let's go, Draco," Narcissa beckoned.
Draco threw the robes to the ground before following his mother out.
"Nova," Narcissa said at the door. "Please, be careful. You know the danger you're in."
"Goodbye, Cissy," Nova waved. "My offer still stands."
Once Cissy left, the others turned to Nova.
"What plan?"
"What the bloody hell was that about?"
"Dray? Cissy? What offer?"
And so Nova explained. She explained how pureblood children are taught muggleborns will take away everything. How they are taught to be the first to attack. She explained how Cissy didn't hate muggleborns, but she'd do anything to protect her son. If that meant siding with Voldemort, then she would.
"But that shouldn't excuse Draco's actio-" Ron began.
"I know that." Nova huffed. "I'm not saying that. I'm simply trying to prove to Draco that there are other paths. That there better things in the world. That muggleborns are just like he is, nothing to fear. That when Voldemort is doing is wrong. That he's practically the new Hitler."
Nova frowned.
"It clearly hasn't worked, has it?" Nova said sadly. "He clearly hasn't changed. I guess there isn't really a point in hoping he's gonna change. He's made it blatantly obvious he won't leave, despite having a new outlook on things."
Author's Note:
There's more to this chapter btw. So I hate Draco Malfoy with a passion. I said it, shoot me or something . . .I don't really care. The movies make him seem more likable and that's the truth. He is horrible in the books. In my story, he will be getting a character ark. His character redemption also comes with a bit of change in personality.
Anyways . . . on with the story!
"Got ev'rything?" asked Hagrid brightly when they reappeared at his side.
"Just about," said Harry. "Did you see the Malfoys?"
"Yeah," said Hagrid, unconcerned. "Bu' they wouldn' dare make trouble in the middle o' Diagon Alley, Harry. Don' worry abou' them."
Harry, Ron, Nova, and Hermione exchanged looks, but before they could disabuse Hagrid of this comfortable notion, Mr. and Mrs.Weasley and Ginny appeared, all clutching heavy packages of books.
"Everyone all right?" said Mrs. Weasley. "Got your robes? Right then, we can pop in at the Apothecary and Eeylops on the way to Fred and George's — stick close, now. . . ."
Neither Harry nor Ron bought any ingredients at the Apothecary, seeing that they were no longer studying Potions, but both bought large boxes of owl nuts for Hedwig and Pigwidgeon at Eeylops Owl Emporium. Then, with Mrs. Weasley checking her watch every minute or so, they headed farther along the street in search of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, the joke shop run by Fred and George.
"We really haven't got too long," Mrs. Weasley said. "So we'll just have a quick look around and then back to the car. We must be close, that's number ninety-two . . . ninety-four . . ."
"Whoa," said Ron, stopping in his tracks.
Set against the dull, poster-muffled shop fronts around them, Fred and George's windows hit the eye like a firework display. Casual passersby were looking back over their shoulders at the windows, and a few rather stunned-looking people had actually come to a halt, transfixed. The left-hand window was dazzlingly full of an assortment of goods that revolved, popped, flashed, bounced, and shrieked; Nova's eyes began to water just looking at it. The righthand window was covered with a gigantic poster, purple like those of the Ministry, but emblazoned with flashing yellow letters:
WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT
YOU-KNOW-WHO?
YOU SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT
U-NO-POO —
THE CONSTIPATION SENSATION
THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION!
"They'll be murdered in their beds!" Mrs. Weasley whispered with a sad look on her face.
"No they won't!" said Ron, who, like Harry, was laughing. "This is brilliant!"
And he and Harry led the way into the shop. It was packed with customers; Harry could not get near the shelves. He stared around, looking up at the boxes piled to the ceiling: Here were the SkivingSnackboxes that the twins had perfected during their last, unfinished year at Hogwarts; Harry noticed that the Nosebleed Nougatwas most popular, with only one battered box left on the shelf. There were bins full of trick wands, the cheapest merely turning into rubber chickens or pairs of briefs when waved, the most expensive beating the unwary user around the head and neck, and boxes of quills, which came in Self-Inking, Spell-Checking, and Smart-Answer varieties. A space cleared in the crowd, and Harry pushed his way toward the counter, where a gaggle of delighted ten-year-olds was watching a tiny little wooden man slowly ascending the steps to a real set of gallows, both perched on a box that read: reusable hangman — spell it or he'll swing!
" 'Patented Daydream Charms . . .' "
Hermione had managed to squeeze through to a large display near the counter and was reading the information on the back of abox bearing a highly colored picture of a handsome youth and a swooning girl who were standing on the deck of a pirate ship.
" 'One simple incantation and you will enter a top-quality, highly realistic, thirty-minute daydream, easy to fit into the average school lesson and virtually undetectable (side effects include vacant expression and minor drooling). Not for sale to under-sixteens.'You know," said Hermione, looking up at Harry, "that really is extraordinary magic!"
"For that, Hermione," said a voice behind them, "you can have one for free."
A beaming Fred stood before them, wearing a set of magenta robes that clashed magnificently with his flaming hair.
"How are you, Harry?" They shook hands. "And what's happened to your eye, Hermione?"
"Your punching telescope," she said ruefully.
"Oh blimey, I forgot about those," said Fred. "Here —"
He pulled a tub out of his pocket and handed it to her; she unscrewed it gingerly to reveal a thick yellow paste. "Just dab it on, that bruise'll be gone within the hour," said Fred."We had to find a decent bruise remover. "We're testing most of our products on ourselves."
Hermione looked nervous. "It is safe, isn't it?" she asked.
Fred laughed. "Of course it is!"
"Where's Nova?" Harry asked as he noticed his girlfriend disappeared.
"By the pygmy puffs," George stated. "I fear she might steal one."
"We might as well give her that magenta one on her shoulder," Fred commented. "Doesn't like anyone else."
"WHERE ARE MY TWINS?" Nova yelled through the shop. "NEVERMIND! GO BACK TO YOUR KNITTING! I FOUND THEM!"
"'Ello, boys, Hermione," Nova grinned as she stood at Harry's side. "I'm stealing Rosco."
"Who-?"
"Dunno why you think we were making you pay," George said.
"Only helped us developed half the shop."
"Sweet," Nova grinned. "Well, I'm off 'Harry Potter Protection Squad' as of right now. I have to meet my Pa, but I'll see you guys later."
With a quick kiss on Harry's cheek, Nova was gone into the night.
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