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Lavinia had fallen asleep on Charlie's shoulder; he had been frightened to move her after what had happened in the kitchen.

His long arm was wrapped around her shoulder desperately trying to keep her close, safe, he never wanted to watch her drown, or whatever that was again.

As Charlie let out a melancholy sigh, Lavinia's eyes opened. They were sleepy, full of a dreamy haze, Charlie smiled down at her, his glasses briefly slipped from his nose, he pushed them back into place.

"You okay?" He asked.

She smiled up at him.

"I was dreaming."

She moved away from him slightly and began to stretch a little.

"Sunflowers, I was dreaming about sunflowers," she paused.

Charlie leant in to listen.

"There was this long, winding road, full of sunflowers, it was like the sunflowers they wanted me to follow them, but not me somehow, it wasn't me they wanted, the sunflowers they were meant for someone else," she rubbed her eyes and shook her head at the ridiculousness of what she had just said.

Charlie just frowned at her.

"Other people's dreams are weird," he said.

"Follow the sunflowers," she said.

He frowned at her again.

"Ignore me, I'm just being stupid, she smiled.

"You're being nuts," he said laughed.

Lavinia got up off the sofa and casually walked into the kitchen.

"Tea?" She mused.

Charlie jumped up in a head rushed filled panic.

"Back away from the kettle," he said.

Lavinia pouted at him.

"Charlie, seriously, I'm not going to ya know, go all watery death stare on you again."

Lavinia put her hands on her hips stubbornly.

"I'm not taking that risks," Charlie pushed Lavinia out the way and started making the tea himself.

"Over protective weirdo," Lavinia sat at the kitchen table.

Charlie felt relieved.

"Charlie," when she said his name it sounded more like a question he made some nondescript noise back at her.

"Can I ask you about Alice? It's just you know so much about me and..." Lavinia didn't need to finish Charlie had turned around and was staring at her, his glasses were off, she imagined to him she must just be a blurry smudge he did seem awfully blind without them.

He didn't wait for anymore persuasion he just began to talking.

I knew Alice for a year in total, we met at a party although I found out later she came with a friend, who was a date of friend, he shrugged. Our romance escalated quickly and in two months we were engaged and by four months we were married. I tried to tell myself everything was fine, it was, everything was fine apart from a few, slight hiccups.

Alice would disappear for days a time, I never understood what was going on, not till much later and I should have known better.

She had problems, she was seriously depressed and she knew it too, when she felt one of her episodes coming on she would take off and lock herself in a hotel room or god knows where for 1-7 days and just cry it out I guess, sometimes she'd stay in bed all week.

I was completely unaware what was going on, I was used to Alice, flighty Alice I called her, I would tell myself she just couldn't be pinned down and not to worry.

Of course, I did worry and one day I called the police. 

My wife is missing I said, she's been gone seven days I said and that's when it happened the police showed up on my door step followed by Alice's parents.

It turned out she was a missing person, she'd just taken off a year earlier, her parents explained to me that she suffered with depression and sometimes she was completely fine and other times, like when she disappeared for days at a time she wasn't.

"It's her way of hiding what's going on," her father said to me.

Like my mind wasn't already running wild with a full or what I thought were a full case a worst case scenarios.

Anyway, Alice parents had been looking for her nonstop for a year and my missing person report had flagged her up in the system, there she was alive and well.

She came home to the three of us discussing her, it was awful, Alice opening her own front door and immediately ran out again followed by her mother and father.

They seemed so panicked, they chased her down the street and to her car but they never caught up to her, she was gone.

Her parents stayed the night in a hotel, I wanted to speak to Alice alone I wanted to hear her side of everything but she never came back. The next day I went to work, had a normal, if not slightly worried day but when I came home I expected to find Alice, expected to find my wife waiting for me, ready to talk.

Charlie trailed off his eyes filled with tears as he relived the moment of the last time he saw his wife. 

His hand was still clinging to the door- knob, the grocery's fell from his hand.

Her eyes were cold and her body was swinging back and forth, sorrow filled him when he realised that the life had left his beloved wife completely, she had left him completely.

Charlie looked up just above where Lavinia was sitting, inwardly she wanted to move.

"Did you ever find out why?"

"Just a note that said I won't go back there," he sighed.

Charlie moved forward with the tea.

"Back where?"

"Her parents? Various mental intuitions? Her dark place? I don't know..." He sighed.

Lavinia kicked at the chair.

"That's why her parents were looking for her so hard they were terrified something like this would happen but in the end..."

"It was nobody's fault," said Lavinia.

"I know," said Charlie.

He wished he could just close his eyes, they felt so heavy now.

"Come and drink your tea then," she said.

Charlie sat down and played with the rim of his cup for a moment.

"I don't pretend to understand what happened, why she left me the way she did but I do know it had very little to do with me. Alice was unhappy, I don't think she had ever been happy really, life to her was like a sinking ship and she just didn't know how to swim.

I just wish I could have talked to her, ya know, just to tell her she wasn't alone, tell her we could get through anything. Sometimes I wonder if that would have made a difference..."

Lavinia reached out and held Charlie's hand he held back tightly.

"Maybe it would, maybe it wouldn't, there are some things in life we are just not meant to know. But you know she loved you right?"

Charlie nodded. He did know it, Alice's love for him was as clear to him as his own reflection.

"Then that's it then."

I just wished she'd loved herself a little more thought Charlie.

"Yes, that's it." Charlie rested his head on the table and drifted into a soft sad sleep. 

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