Being human temporarily has all kinds of repercussions, and the Doctor is about to learn about an important consequence that affects his relationship with Willow.

The song above is 'traitor' by Olivia Rodrigo

***

Willow sat in the TARDIS library, fondling her engagement ring between her fingers. She continually looked at her reflection in the golden metal. It didn't look like herself, the girl she had played for twenty-four years. Something had changed in the blue eyes that stared back at her.

It had been three days since the trio returned to travelling again, the Doctor was himself again. The love of her life had returned. Then why wasn't she happy?

She heard the door open nearby, though Willow did not turn to see who it was. "Hey." The familiar voice of the Doctor spoke.

However, she did not reply, still sulking on the leather sofa by the fireplace. Though it was a clear sign that he wasn't welcome, the Doctor still wandered inside. The door slowly closed behind him as he walked over to the sofa. He sat on the edge and stared intensely at the fire. Willow didn't even look up from her ring.

"Are you okay?" he wondered.

"Does it look like it?" she sarcastically questioned.

He sighed, pausing for a moment. "Then what is it?"

"Haven't you guessed?"

"You know I hate guessing."

Finally, her eyes met his. He observed the sadness and hidden anger swimming in her bloodshot eyes. "You seriously don't know?"

"I gather it's got something to do with John Smith." The Doctor surmised. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Isn't that why you're here?" mentioned Willow.

"Something like that..." he answered. "I haven't seen you for a few days."

She turned away. "I've been reading."

At that moment, he knew that they needed to talk about what happened during the months he was away and how it impacted Willow's emotions. "I had to do it," he started. "I had to become John Smith to protect-"

"I know why you had to do it," she interrupted him, "and I wish that there was another way. I could have done it instead, you could have taken the Chameleon Cloak."

"I didn't want you to go through that." He responded.

"I've been through a lot, Kas. I could have dealt with it." Willow stated. "Besides, it would have been easier the other way round."

He raised his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I fell in love with you when I was human and it probably would have happened again if I had returned to that state." She suggested.

"It might not have."

Willow scratched at her skin, her nails denting the soft flesh. "I was actually stupid to think that it would happen to you too. That you and I would fall in love again from a different perspective, but you just had to fall for someone else."

The Doctor raised his voice. "It wasn't like I had a choice, Willow-"

"Oh, come on, he wasn't that different from the real you." She mentioned. "I tried so hard to reach out to you, but you didn't even see me. You didn't even know I was there when you were kissing Joan!"

"You can't blame me for something I didn't realise I was doing!" he exclaimed. 

"I thought deep down your feelings for me must still be there. Then you and Joan happened." Willow rubbed her forehead, becoming overwhelmed. "I wish you had thought this whole thing through. Did you not even think there was a slight possibility you could fall in love with someone else?"

He sighed again, bowing his head. "No..."

"There we are then."

"It's not like your feelings for me changed when you became a Timelady again." The Doctor declared.

Upon hearing those words, Willow glared at him. "Is that all you care about?"

"What?"

"That I'm like you." She said. "That I can technically be with you forever. That you'll have a wife that's entirely devoted to you because they're the last ones left of their species."

"I didn't mean-"

"What would have happened if I was still human? Would you care about me then?" she queried. Memories of the Battle of Canary Wharf returned to her, feeding her argument with him. "Is that why you didn't send me to the parallel universe with Rose and Jackie? Not because you care about me, but because you didn't want to be alone."

"Willow-"

"You're so selfish, and you don't even realise it!" yelled Willow. "For years, you've kept pulling people along and then they get hurt. But you just move on and find someone new. You literally replaced Rose with Martha! How long will it be until you discard her like the rest of the humans you travel with?!" 

"It's not like that." The Doctor placed his hand on Willow's, trying to calm her down. "I have never loved someone more than I love you. I'm sorry for what I've done."

She pulled her hand away. "I'm glad because I am not the girl you knew." Willow stood from the sofa, grabbing a book from the desk beside it. "Ever since I got my memories back, I'm both Raven and Willow. So, now I don't know who I am, and I need some time to figure that out." As she approached the door, she glanced back at him. "I think the same applies to you."

The Doctor watched as she pocketed her ring and left the room, leaving him to ponder on their argument. She was right, they had some issues that they needed to sort out. He slumped against the sofa, thinking back.

***

John and Joan sat in the cottage as the bombs fell outside. They pondered over the watch, he still caressed it in his hands. He felt the power hidden inside, and it terrified him. Though he didn't want to die, he didn't want the Family of Blood to win either.

"If I could do this instead of you, then I would. I'd hoped. But my hopes aren't important." Joan mentioned.

"He won't love you."

She shook her head. "If he's not you, then I don't want him to. I had one husband, and he died. I never thought, ever again. And then you were so..."

"And it was real. I wasn't. I really thought." He sobbed.

"Let me see." John handed Joan the watch, inspecting it. "Blasted thing. Blasted, blasted thing. Can't even hear it. It says nothing to me."

He sighed, slipping his hand over her palm which held the watch. His eyes widened as flashing images appeared. It showed him a future that could occur if he remained human. John watched his wedding with Joan, a happy day for both. Then he saw the birth of his first child, then he saw them growing up as they walked through the woods. It was perfect.

Eventually, he had seen his whole life up to his death. "They're all safe, aren't they? The children, the grandchildren. Everyone's safe?" The elderly version of himself questioned.

"Everyone's safe, and they all send their love, John," Joan said, now an old woman.

"Well, it's time. Thank you." Then his eyes closed and John Smith was dead.

Abruptly, he was then exposed to different images that confused him. Then he eventually realised that they weren't of him, they were of the Doctor. Not just memories and images of him, Willow was there too. It was then that he saw how happy the two were, how much they truly loved each other. He saw them laugh, dance and kiss. They were perfect together.

Soon enough, the flashes ceased and John returned to reality. "Did you see?"

"The Timelord has such adventures, but he could never have a life like that," Joan answered.

"And yet I could." He cried as another bomb crashed to the ground.

"But what about Willow?" she asked. "We both saw how much they love each other."

John thought it over because she was right, Willow did love the man he truly was. How could he deny one man's happiness for his own? John loved Joan, but the Doctor loved Willow.

"What are you going to do?" questioned Joan.

"The right thing." He told her.

***

John wasn't selfish, he sacrificed himself to save everyone. He sacrificed the love of his life for the Doctor to be with his own. Love is a tricky thing, yet he knew how important it was. He cared for Willow, he loved her. 

The Doctor wanted to do the right thing -- be a good man. Because she was right, he did move on too fast.

***

This is the only completed chapter before the reboot.