Back to reality......

ringg....    ring..... ALARM SOUNDS~~

I opened my eyes , see at the ceiling of my room and my right search my phone at nightstand. I take the phone off the alarm and see the time is   6.45a.m. 

Again??

I keeping dream about my first love !!! I wake up with a sigh. Its happen everyday just like today. Its not new thing to think about it. So I went off  clean my bed. I go to take showers and get ready for work.

After get dressed, i take my hair my hair dryer and on it dry my hair. Then i thought about that dream . I was sick of it...... I had dated a lot guys after him. But he will always appear on same dream also on everyday. Even  i try to forget him but cant do because of this dream.

I'm  have to end it now. I just can't keeping dreaming about him , i have to stop it. Some times it makes me feel so  depressed.

After get ready, I go to living room an see my brother sitting at dinning table  eat his breakfast. I go there sit infront of him.

Maa, today's what breakfast? I ask loudly to my mom who in kitchen doing something. My brother replied me, As always thosai and idli. 'Ohh ,' I sighed softly.

I put two thosai on my plate and started to eat it.My mom came with more thosai in her plate from kitchen. She placed it besides my plate. She asked me "you want more ,". I replied her" no it's enough for me ,". " You just have eat few thosai now it's enough'ah! She said annoyed with me.
She continues " look at her da!(look at my brother) nowadays she looked like stick after few months you will get married then I have to search groom for her , now she looked like this how I'm going to find groom for her?,"
I  ask her " Maa can u just stop it! from thosai to groom you take the  conversation like that? haiyoo!! I'm just on diet that's why i eating little only." I rolled my eyes and continues said "I'm just 26 so no groom topic. First Anna (brother) get married then after that i will think about it. I'm just want enjoy my bachelor life,".

My mom grunts " nowadays girls who younger than you are getting married and get settle  but here you saying don't want to get married and want to enjoy bachelor life haan??!!,"                           " Maa at early morning you just started tanturm i can't eat and go work in peace!!," i said annoyed by with her ."If everyday  i said this to you  and you will not listen and understand me ," she say while going back to kitchen.

 I sighed and turn look at my brother who smiling at phone and doing something on it . I asked him " Did you get late for work ?," "No i still have time then why are you asking ?, do you want me drop you at work?," " No Its okay i take bus ." i replied him. He nodded. I finished eat then take plate to clean . I washed my hands and plates.

My mom stood beside me with a grumpy face . She showing her back to me. I went to her hugs her from behind said " sorry maa for making you angry . I just want spend time  with mom and my family more than my husband ," She chuckled at my words. "Okay you are now happy then I'm going to work,"  take my bag  and went out.

After that I go to bus stop at right time the one bus came on. I get on that bus.
I plugged in my headphones started listen music. I think about my mom words today at home. I know at 26 girls will get married and get settled down. But me, how can I get married someone and love him . When at night I dreaming about other guy. This was my problem. In the past I dated some guys but can't fully interested in them. That's why all my relationship living for a few months.

I still think about it matters while looking outside of bus . Looking the sky I thought myself in my mind

          When I was sixteen
  there was a boy that I liked...

  I spent teenager years by studying...
     Also thinking about him...

    When I becomes adult also I keep
  thinking and dreaming about him...

Do I still have lingering feelings for him?
When he no in my life right now........

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