If there is one thing I have learned from life, it is that it consists of many different layers. Like a picture or a graphic. Layers of colours, shapes and light that together form a whole. It is the same with life.
Here the layers are decisions, people and feelings that together form a life. Layers that are shifted or rearranged depending on how life goes. But also like a graph, sometimes one layer does not fit the whole picture. This can have different reasons. A colour that is not coherent or the lighting that no longer fits. Then this layer is deleted. Eliminated. Erased. Like a decision, a feeling or sometimes even a person.
"Have you been listening to me, Miss James? I can no longer tolerate your misbehaviour. Either you change your behaviour or I will have to throw you out."
The insistent words of my boss brought me out of my thoughts. I had worked in this company for seven years. In the beginning it seemed like a dream, but in the end it was more of a nightmare. Especially since the new HR manager, Mr. Sinclair, had been in charge of the HR department for a year now and had no idea about creative work, which I had already rubbed in his face. 
"So I no longer fit into the general picture of your company and must be eliminated," I heard myself reply. My voice was calm, matter-of-fact, unagitated. Who is this Tessa who sat here so unimpressed and watched her career go down the drain? I asked myself. But who said she was going down the drain? When I thought about it, maybe it was just a sign. A sign to leave the sinking ship. While I was contemplating my thoughts, my boss seemed to have problems understanding my figurative language.
"General picture of my company? Eliminated? What are you talking about?" The question marks were literally written all over his face. Mister Sinclair was a lot like one of those characters from the old comic strips. At that moment, he reminded me very much of the angry Donald Duck yelling with his face contorted in rage. "I said you have to change your behaviour! And I mean right now! Did you hear me?" his voice blasted from the walls of his office, his face red with anger. Paralysed, I watched Mr Sinclair scream and shout, but I heard nothing. The whole scene seemed unreal, almost suspicious. My blood rushed in my ears, straining to form a rational thought. Was this still what I wanted? Was I going to spend the rest of my life sitting at a desk and superimposing picture layers? Hadn't I dreamed of something else in my life?
At that moment my grandmother came to mind, laughing and joking in her kitchen in her old restaurant in the middle of London. A warm feeling flooded through me. It was as if I was getting her approval. I knew then what I really wanted.
"No, I don't" I replied coolly. "I quit"
"And that's all you said? Just that you're quitting? How did he react to that? Tell me more" my best friend Kate urged me.
As soon as I left the office I called her to tell her the news. Kate worked as a journalist for a well-known fashion magazine and knew all the gossip in the world. She was currently on the trail of a story that would thrill millions of readers: The newly divorced heir to a billion-dollar empire whom no one had ever laid eyes on. All of London wanted to know what this bachelor with real estate funds worth billions looked like? If he was hot stuff, half of London's high society would be queuing up to get him. But maybe he was a flop like my promising career, who knows. It was currently the number one topic of the gossip rags and Kate wanted to snatch him up. Just for an interview, of course. Nevertheless, my spontaneous decision to quit seemed to interest her more.
"He asked if I was sure? Would I really want to throw my career down the drain so quickly, everything I've been working towards for seven years of my life now?" I answered as I crossed the road.
"Those are legitimate questions. Are you sure you just want to throw in the towel? After all, you've spent seven years building up a remarkable career.... So many customers counting on you... Have you really thought this over carefully?" Kate asked cautiously but emphatically.
I laughed and passers-by turned to me in wonder. "Yes, I did and no I don't regret it. My mind is made up" I said and lowered my voice.
"Oh thank God. You finally quit that horrible job. I thought you would never understand. Darling, I'm so proud of you. I'll put the champagne on ice right away. We have to celebrate, tonight at my place," she babbled.
"Horrible job?" I interrupted her unrestrained babbling. Actually, I had always thought that I had at least a respectable job. I loved being creative all my life and so I was able to live out my creative side at least to some extent.
"Honey, you deserve better. You are so talented. In this job... you wasted it" she explained, searching for words. "Your talent. You understand?"
Astonished, I stopped. "I'm talented? In what? Making cheeky remarks?" I laughed quietly at my joke as I stopped at the next red light. Today was traffic chaos in London, just like every Friday. Everyone was trying to get home, just like me. My stomach tightened. What would Henry, my boyfriend think of my decision? I shook off the thought. I'm sure he would understand just as Kate did.
"Tessa you are so cynical. You are the best cook and baker I know. What you conjure up is art" her voice sounded in my ear again. From her tone, she really meant every word.
"Have you ever eaten in a really expensive restaurant?" I asked unbelievingly. "Because then you would know that my food might be good, but it's certainly not art".
"Must you always question everything?" moaned Kate theatrically, then she sighed and continued. "I'll see you tonight then?"
Now I sighed. There was no getting around this meeting the way I knew Kate. "I'll be at your place at eight"
With these words I closed the call and put my smartphone in my pocket as the traffic light turned green. Elated, I crossed the street and took the green light as a sign that I had made the right decision.
I let myself drift along the street with the bustling crowd and enjoyed the wind in my wild brown curls. I hadn't felt this free in years.