"Hey, mate." Niall greeted into his phone. 

"I-uh, I'm actually in the hospital right now. I don't think I would be able to come and see Harry soon." Louis' voice could be heard through the speakers of Niall's phone.

"Oh. What happened?" Niall asked referring to the fact that Louis is in the hospital.

"I don't think I can talk about it without having a panic attack." Louis chuckled nervously before continuing. "Li knows and he will tell you." 

"Oh okay. I hope you recover from whatever you are going through." Niall said, sighing sadly because it seemed like everybody was fighting a battle these days.

"How- how is he?" Louis asked, fearing the answers.

"He is pulling through, mate. I believe Liam told you about what happened the other day?"

"Yeah, yeah. It's just sad and not being able to come and see him hurts the most. Does it look like he would be discharged soon?" Louis asked. 

"Not sure. I was about to head back to the hospital. Anne made it here last night and she has been staying with him all night." Niall explained.

"Anne. She is a sweet lady. God, how much I wish I could be there right now." Louis could feel his sadness gets doubled. 

"It's alright, mate. First, you recover. Then you can come and see him. Don't feel guilty for something you can't control." Niall smiled sadly.

"Thank you, Niall. I'm glad he has a friend like you because friends like me only abandoned him when he was in need." Louis admitted his thoughts sadly.

"Hey! You were just busy with life and it's okay. You didn't do any harm to him and none of this is your fault. We all just flow with the life's way." Niall tried his best to abolish the guilt within Louis.

"Thank you, mate. I will try to come as soon as possible." Louis said before hanging up the phone. 

Niall grabbed the things he needed before heading out of his house and into the car parked outside. He directed his driver to drive them to the hospital. 

-

"Hi, Anne." Niall greeted the woman, giving her a firm hug. Anne started crying into Niall's shoulder and Niall rubbed her back, knowing that she must be feeling a lot of sorrow right now. 

"I'm sorry for ruining your shirt." Anne said, pulling back and wiping  her tears. 

"It doesn't matter." Niall rubbed her shoulder reassuringly before turning towards Harry who is sitting on his hospital bed, staring at them. His hand was bandaged and he looked pale and absent. His eyes were empty as he stared at his best friend and mother interact with each other, sharing the sorrow he gave them. 

"Hi, Haz." Niall greeted, walking closer to the bed. 

"My career is over." Harry whispered. 

"Eh, it's fine. You can come and sing with me at concerts." Niall managed to get Harry to crack a small smile. 

"Let's not think about those things, yeah? You can heal and you can continue your career. Maybe not as a surgeon but something close. You are still a doctor, Harry. We can't erase that fact no matter what happens." Niall assured his best friend before taking a seat next to him on the bed. 

"Thanks for being with me, Ni," Harry said, sincerely grateful for his best friend. 

"I will always be here for you, mate." Niall tapped Harry's shoulder reassuringly before continuing the conversation. "Do you know when you will be discharged?" 

"I'm not sure." Harry shrugged and Niall hummed in acknowledgement. 

- 

Harry was discharged after a week with some medications to treat his schizophrenia and he occasionally saw Louis in his house sometimes but he kept on telling himself that he is just a hallucination just like his therapist had taught him to do. He is currently lying in his bed, thinking through everything when his phone rings. He picked up the phone and frowned when he saw the caller ID. It was Louis and he was so confused because he could be imagining this now too. It's really frustrating when you can't tell reality and imagination apart. 

"'Ello" Harry answered the phone anyway.

"Hi, Curly. It's Louis." Louis' voice could be heard from the other side of the line. 

"I-I know. I have your number saved." Harry couldn't help a bit of sarcasm and it made Louis giggle a bit. Harry could swear that his heart was ready to burst when he heard the angelic sound of Louis' giggles.

"How are you?" Louis asked after a moment of silence. 

"If you disregard me being schizophrenic and depressed, I'm good." Harry sighed. He knew that at some point he had to tell Louis the real reason he was hallucinating the blue-eyed boy, but it was harder than ever now. 

"I'm sorry I didn't check up on you." Louis sighed. 

"You did, you know. You always did and still do sometimes." Harry whispered the last part but Louis heard it. 

"Are you still seeing me?" Louis asked. 

"I could be imagining this call too right now." Harry sighed. He was slowly giving up on trying to keep track of reality. 

"Well, I'm actually calling you." Louis' tone was turning sadder by the second. 

"How would I know." 

A long silence took over after Harry's response and Louis talked after a whole minute.

"Why me?"

"What?" Harry asked, confused.

"Why imagine me?" Louis elaborated.

Harry was a bit startled by the question. Does he tell him? Oh, well he doesn't have anything to lose anymore. Louis is already someone else's as Niall told him. Admitting to his lifelong crush on Louis can't be worst than all the shit he is currently going through. Harry knew that he was going to end his own life very soon. He has been planning his suicide every day. Might as well tell Louis how he feels about him before he dies. 

"Harry? I'm sorry if I asked-" Louis started when Harry didn't reply for a long while but was cut off by Harry.

"I have been in love with you since we were teenagers." Harry blurted out. He could hear Louis gasp.

"I- I- Why didn't you tell me?" Louis asked, truly at a loss of words. 

"I was never good at those things, Lou. You know that." Harry whispered. He can't even be hurt anymore. He feels like he is immune to heartbreak. It's like he doesn't have a heart to break anymore but he would be lying if he said that he didn't feel a slight pang in his chest when Louis didn't say anything similar to what he just admitted to. 

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't even know I was hurting you but I'm so sorry." Harry could tell that Louis is crying and he hated that with every ounce of his body. He made Louis cry. 

"Please don't cry, Lou. I hate it when you cry." Harry could feel his own eyes welling up with tears. 

"I- I'm sorry." A bit of a shuffle could be heard from Louis' end and Harry assumed he was wiping his tears. "I'm coming to see you next Tuesday," Louis said. 

"I look forward to actually seeing you." Harry can't help the sad chuckle that left his mouth. 

-

Days passed and it was Tuesday in no time. Harry spent the whole week with his mother who stayed with him at his apartment. Harry told Anne on the same day Louis told him that he would come to see him but he could tell that Anne didn't believe him by the sad look she gave him. It was later confirmed when he overheard Anne calling Niall to confirm if Louis was truly coming to see Harry. Harry understood where she came from but that hurt like hell when his own mother didn't believe him anymore.

He didn't want to live anymore, being a burden to everybody, not being able to understand what is real and what is not. He has lost his job which was the only thing he worked hard for all his life. He was not the London's best surgeon anymore. He was the surgeon who did surgeries talking to his imaginary friend.

There is not a second he goes without thinking about the sweet bliss of leaving this world, finally getting some relief from all the burden he has on his shoulders. He has thought about a thousand ways to die and he has finally settled on jumping off of his apartment building. He needed to get the feeling of flying right before he meets the reaper. 

He was not sure about meeting Louis. He would rather keep the memories of the imaginary Louis with him and the more he thinks about it the less he wants to meet Louis today. He has planned to fly today and the question was if he should do so before meeting Louis or after meeting him. He decided to settle on the first option because he would rather keep his Louis in his mind, not this new person Louis has actually become. 

He looked at the clock and he has only 15 more minuted before Louis will be here. He has to make it quick. He walked into the kitchen and took one last glance at his beautiful mother. She smiled her kind smile at him as she took a cake she baked out of the oven. 

"I'm just heading upstairs. I love you." Harry said subtly, not wanting to get her suspicious. He gave a brief hug to the woman and took the opportunity to inhale her scent one last time. 

"I love you too, baby. I will call you when Louis is here." She said before placing a kiss on his cheek. 

Harry nodded and left the kitchen. He looked around his apartment one last time before grabbing his phone and leaving his apartment. He got into the elevator and pressed the button to go to the rooftop. He opened a chat to Niall and typed out a message. 

Harry: Thanks for everything, mate. I have to ask for one last favor. Please take care of my mom. I love you, Ni. 

He read over the message once more before pressing send. Then he opened Louis' chat and typed out a message for him too. 

Harry: Lou, I'm so sorry if I ever hurt you in any way. I loved you and I still love you. I don't want you to think that any of this is your fault. You were a really big part of my life while I was just another friend to you. It's not your fault I didn't express my feelings to you. Thank you for everything you have ever done. 

He sent the message before throwing his phone to the side. He walked over to the edge of the rooftop and looked down. He could feel a smile play across his lips. He was finally going to be free from all of this.

***

A/N -

Hi, my baby potatoes!

Please tell me how y'all feel about this book.

I love y'all to death! Have a nice day/night! (: xxx

-Ash