read at your own risk
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'Hey kids, wanna hear a story about the ghost of the masturbating fisherman?' asked Pablo, his voice dark as the room they sat in, his moustache glowing above the light of the flashlight he held in his gigantic, fat hands. His big blue eyes stared in a questioning manner at the kids sitting in front of him, their legs shaking from the fear of saying no. However, only one of them was brave enough to answer, only one of them didn't know what happened to Luigi when he opposed to his older brother, or so he thought that was his older brother. But that is a different story.

'Yes, Mr. Pablo, please tell us the story.' the kid said, something the said man didn't expect. However, he was ready to tell them the story either way, to ruin their innocent lives even more than he already has.

He looked at the boy sitting in the back before he began with the storytelling: 'It was a normal Tuesday evening with two young boys searching for the ghost, their curiosity getting the better of them.

Since the two heard the original story, they've been trying to hunt down this man, to know everything about him and to find out, if he is indeed a true ghost. And so the clues led them to the marshes under an old, abandoned military base, where an old hut awaited them.

With the sun slowly setting over the horizon, they slowly walked in the mud and towards the wooden hut. Several birch trees masked the small wooden bridge connected to it, but that didn't stop them from continuing.

However, when they got to the hut, there was nothing else but a small boat waiting for them.

"Maybe it belonged to him." said one of the boys. Either way, they let the boat descend onto the muddy brown water. But as they did so, a certain man watched them, smiled and waited. His wooden rod stood proudly on his side, ready to serve him as a weapon to take the boys as his next victims.

It is said that when he was still alive, he used to go by his boat to a small island, where he did only two things. Sometimes, he just went finishing, just a regular thing he liked to do. But other times, oh you don't want to know what he did...

But I'm going to tell you anyways.

On the coastline lived women, you'd think they were lost goddesses because of how beautiful they were. And well, the fisherman liked to watch them.. he liked to do his business with the stick down there while doing so. But when they found out, they  burned him alive. But his ghost remained among them, so they told him that if he collects as many victims as the times he touched himself while watching them, he'll come back into life. So now, he roams the coastline, hunts everyone who dares to touch his hut and takes his victims one by one.

However, this time, it was different. He knew exactly why they were there, so he thought to himself: "Why not have some fun?" And so he slowly followed the two as they sailed on his old boat, oblivious to where they were headed. Once they hit the sand of the small island covered with nothing but more birches, they saw the place where it all happened.

There was still a dark circle in the grass, a trace of where his ashes were left. If you closed your eyes you wouldn't see dsrkness, no.. you'd see fire and it would blind you for the rest of your eyes. That's why the boys didn't dare to even blink at the sight of the place.

But as they went to investigate the said place, they knew they fucked up by even coming there. In front of them, in the circle, stood the ghost of the masturbating fisherman.

"Oh fuck man, we have to get out of here!" one of them yelled, his feet already taking him towards the boat. But by the time they got there, the boat was already gone and instead the ghost floated above the water, his angry voice shouting at them: "I am the ghost of the masturbating fisherman!!!"

"HIS DICK IS STICKING OUT, RUN!" and indeed his penis was sticking out proudly, waving side to side as he chased them. But they knew they weren't getting out of there alive. You can only guess how much they regretted going there, or even looking at the ghost's penis.

The fisherman already knew what to do with the boys. He knew that they wouldn't escape unless they had a boat, which was now gone thanks to him. So it came to the part where he only had to catch them and bury them alive on the sacred ground of the women who cursed him.

The boys weren't the best runners, which made it easier. However, their screams annoyed him to the point he had to fasten the process of burying them. He flew above the bodies as they floated on the water towards the sacred ground, a never-aging woman already waiting for him.

"Are these the last two?" she asked, looking at the two boys laying down all wet.. from the water. The fisherman nodded, seeing two already dug up holes for the bodies.

She put the bodies in, burying them with the dirt.

"So many lives taken. You didn't really think we'd make you come back to life, did you?" the woman smirked at the fisherman, women just like her walking towards them.

"What do you mean?" the fisherman asked in a monotone.

"You can't want our forgiveness for doing something wrong by doing something even worse," she said, the women behind her already performing the ritual to make him disappear... ,"Also, I'm your mother."

"NOOOOOOOOO." he yelled at the top of his lungs, his presence slowly disappearing, forever. And that was the end of the ghost of the ghost of the masturbating fisherman.'

'And what's the moral of this story?' the boy in the back asked.

'Don't fucking trust anyone.. not even your own mother.'

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lmao I don't even know what this is.. like I had the idea but it's so bad that I even forgot to make a proper ending for it.. I'm sorry xD