Doors To the Soul
What the hell...? I can't see anything. I held my hands out, trying to feel out my surroundings as I took a few steps forward, but nothing. Nothing to see. Nothing to hear. Only the smell of dust and grime. It was almost what I'd expect an abandoned, miserably broken-down, institution would smell like.
All I could do was keep moving and hope to come across something. If I could see anything, the fog of my breath would've been obvious. The air felt like it was getting colder with every step. With each inhale, a rush of ice ran down my throat. Eventually, I realized there wasn't anything, and likely wouldn't be anything in my way, so I dropped my arms with a huff and stopped for a break. It felt like I'd been walking forever and a day, so I deserved a rest.
I plopped down where I stood and scratched my head. A sigh escaped my frosted lips as I scanned the seemingly endless darkness. This is stupid. Where was anyone—anything? Dani... Elle... Summer—Paige...? I brought my knees up to my chest. When I rested my head on my knees, something caught my attention. Something's off... I mean apart from whatever the fuck was going on around here. No, something was not right with me. It's not like I could even check what was wrong. All I could do was try to retrace my steps.
The last thing I remembered was in the middle of fooling around with Randy. I closed my eyes then opened them, and now I'm here. Maybe... maybe... yeah, retrace. Start from the beginning. Why didn't I try to do that sooner? I stood up and turned around. I was expecting to see, well, nothing. But to my surprise, I saw a small light.
"There's no way I missed that." There must be someone else here then. There has to be. I ran toward the small light. It was getting bigger and bigger. As I saw more of it, I saw a desk there, and light was coming from a lamp. Once I was in front of the desk, I was out of breath. I looked around, and no one was here... STILL.
I got my hopes up for nothing. The only thing that was here was an old dusty chair, hundreds of papers and folders on the desk and floor and that chair. Oh, and the lamp. What is all this? I went to touch one of the papers that were on the desk, and something came out and struck me.
"Ouch!"
My hand shot back as a stinging pain ran up my veins. The fuck was that? Just then, a metal ruler receded from my sights as I rubbed the back of my hand to soothe the ache. My attention moved over to where it had gone, and my skin lept.
Behind the weathered desk and mountain of files and scattered papers was an old... thing. It... I mean, it could probably have passed for an old lady, but it couldn't have been a woman, right? I don't know. Honestly, with its beady, soulless red eyes, its grey wrinkled skin that looked like it was made of rubber, the daggers protruding from each of her fingertips. In contrast to her stature, its silver hair reached the floor, each strand looking like thread, as it stood on a bar stool holding a ruler in its scraggly fingers. Hm, I guess I'll just go with her for now.
"Velvet Granger?" A shiver ran down my spine as she spoke with a deep guttural voice. What the fuck is this thing? It probably smells fear. I stood up straight and cleared my throat in hopes she didn't see my minor freak out. She stared me in the eye. She was waiting. She didn't exactly seem like a very patient creature. I gathered myself. Answer her, but...
"No. That's not me," I shook my head at the lady. She raised a brow at me and leaned forward. You can hear creaking sounds as she gets closer. I smiled at her.
"So, you're telling me I'm wrong?"
"Yep. You have the wrong girl for.." I looked around the empty place, "whatever this is."
With her long fingernails leading the way, she pushed a few papers off her desk and pulled out a dusty, wet yellow folder and opened it. As she looked at the envelope, she said, "Did you fill balloons up with pudding and had a balloon flight in your father's living room?"
I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of how mad my father was when he came home. "You found out about your teacher's affair with the nurse and blackmailed him for a better grade. And still doing so."
Man, he was easy to manipulate. She read another one out loud. "You stole your mother's credit card and went on a shopping spree with Summer putting your mother in 2,000 dollars worth of debt."
That was a good day.
I couldn't help but laugh at the pudding bit. The lady looked up from the folder and raised an eyebrow. She gave me a look that said there's no way you can deny it now and my eyes inadvertently shifted a bit. When I looked back, she let out a deep yet brief groan before flipping through a bunch of papers in the folder.
"Yes. It is very amusing, isn't it?" Her tone was somewhat irritating. Grating, even.
She unclipped something towards the end of them and looked me in the eye again. After a moment of looking down at the slick sheet in her grip, she raised her gaze and searched my face for something. Then, without a word, she flipped it around, weaving it between her fingers. It was me. But no. It was me. Was it a picture of me? Where did she get it? There's never been a picture of me like this...
"What the hell is this...?" The words escaped me. She shook the photo like a Polaroid picture, and it started to move. It was like a video—one of me strewn out in a bathtub. Elle was beside me, calling for help. Summer was frozen. Dani was pacing in the enclosed space and Paige... Paige was quietly shaking with a river of tears pouring down her face.
"What the fuck?! What the fuck kind of fucking joke is this?!" The woman shook the image, and it went still again before she reattached it to her stupid little folder. "Why did you show me that?"
The gray old lady, rolling her eyes at me, "Do you even know where you are right now?"
"Whatever this place is... it isn't real. It's a dream." I yelled. I think. She dropped the open folder on the old wood in front of her.
"This isn't a dream. You're dead." As she said this, her voice got deeper for some reason.
I pointed at myself,"I'm not dead." I pointed at myself before aiming it at her,"You might be with that gray skin. But I'm not."
"Will you just stop talking and watch the photo," she tapped the open folder on the desk. It still showed my friends and me. But it wasn't moving. Why does she want me to watch this so much?
"Why should I? So you can show me more lies? This IS a dream...or better yet... This might be a Hallucination." I did take some drugs before all this happened. "It must be a side effect or something." It has to be. I looked the lady in her weird eyes and said, "tell me how to wake up so we can end this."
She sat down in the chair and began to smile, "If this were a dream, then you would have known how to wake up by now."
Did she not hear me? "Lady, clean your ears out. I clearly said 'or' a hallucination. Snap me out of it already."
She slammed her hands onto the desk, causing me to jump back in shock and a few folders and papers falling to the floor.
"ENOUGH..." Her eyes turned into daggers. "You're going to Hell."
"Hell? I don't belong there." I'm a good girl. All I want to do is get back home. Why can't this hag see that?
"Oh, yes, you do." She reached her hand up and grabbed a rope.
"Wait where did tha—" before I could finish, she yanked the rope, and the floor beneath me disappeared. As I fell through the ground, my face was quickly met with a cold, dirty floor.
I seethed as I lifted myself off the dust-caked floor. I sat there for a moment, brushing off my hands, face, and arms that'd impacted the hard surface. I looked up to where I'd fallen from, only to see the hatch doors shut with the old crone smirking down at me before it faded away like an illusion. When it vanished, a bright light momentarily stunned me, and my head fell again. Wait a minute. The area was much better lit than that hag's desk area. Wait a minute, this place.
A soft gasp passed my lips. I looked at the ground surrounding me. This...These tacky yellow and beige tiles. I know this disgusting, sticky floor. My head shot up, and as though I had only gone deaf for that instant, the world was loud again. The shiny red lockers that lined the walls glistened beneath the round lights in the ceiling. There were people—my people—standing along the lockers or walking over to talk to someone. Not a care in the world, carrying on as usual. But wait, if I'm back, what the hell was all that before?
Whatever; it was probably just a hallucination after all, right? I stood, practically kicking myself in the ass with how fast I jumped up. Just as I got ready to make myself known to those who didn't seem to see me yet, I caught a glimpse of myself in the locker beside me. My face contorted in utter shame. I looked down at my favorite blue blouse that was covered in what I could only assume to be a puke trail, and no matter how much I tried to brush it away, not a speck flew off; it was like it was melded to it now. I looked at myself again and whined a little. Okay. Don't panic. All I can do now is fix my hair, and if anyone mentions it, say it's... a new statement or something. Okay, sounds like a plan. With one more deep breath, I flattened my hair, smoothed my clothes, dusted the rest of the floor grime off, and put on my best smile.
I walked up to my friends and tapped Summer on the shoulder. She turned around with a smile. Dani, Elle, and Paige did the same. But once they laid eyes on me, the smile disappeared. Then they all went to their lockers. Not saying a word to me.
"Hello?" I went to touch one of them, and my hand went through.
The fuck. I looked at my hand, and it looked normal. Maybe I'm still hallucinating. I need to snap out of it. I went to some guy across the hall and was able to tap his shoulder. He smiled at me as my friends did. Then he went to his locker and didn't acknowledge me again.
"Are you serious?" I went to these two girls on the left, and instead of tapping them, I said, "Hi." With a big cheery smile. They just did the same; smiled at me, went to their lockers, and pretended I'm not here.
Why was everyone ignoring me? No one can ignore me. I'm Velvet Granger. The head cheerleader and one of the hottest students here. Everyone wants to be me. I continued to try and get these idiots to see me. Well, see me for more than five seconds. But no one did. I tried to talk to everyone in the hallway and nothing. As I looked back, I saw that everyone was in their locker. They weren't even taking things out. They just opened it and put their face in it. Why are they doing this? What is going on? To make this worse, this cold chill came over me. I don't know when, but I no longer feel their presence around me. It's like they aren't here. But I can see them. This isn't real. They can see me... Right? Even my friends saw me. I think. Did I just imagine they did? My breathing became heavier, and my head felt like it was running a million miles a second.
Why? It was like a never-ending loop. The deeper in that I got was, the more things seemed to shift. They went from giving me a plastic smile to not even giving me that little. Every time I would try to get someone's attention, they were walking across the once large and boisterous halls now turned dense and claustrophobic with every repeat. If they were just talking across—or even to the person next to them for that matter—they would see me and their expressions would drop altogether.
They'd see me and walk right past me or just turn back to their lockers again. Over, and over, and over again. Stop. Stop it! I'm here, you see that I'm here. At least look at me! Say something, dammit! For what felt like my hundredth go around, they came up again. I ran over to my friends once more. They can't keep this up. My head felt like it was going to split when I got to Elle.
"Elle," I called, grabbing her shoulder. She looked at me with a distant stare before turning and repeating her cycle. My eyes fell on Summer a few people away. Why is this happening? I spun her around, tightly gripping both shoulders I looked her in her eye. She'd been talking to someone, but unlike the other times, her entire demeanor turned into disgust as she looked me over and disregarded me again. My chest hurt. My throat hurt. My head hurt. The tears were starting to well up as I went to Dani. He didn't even look at me, just past me. Lastly, she has to—she has to notice me. If she doesn't, it's like I'm not even here.
"Paige..." My voice cracked as I hugged her tight. "Please don't ignore me like this..." I could only plead now. I just wanted this to stop.
When I loosened my hold, she didn't smile or make a weird face. She just looked at me. Longer than the last times. Does she see me, "Paige?"
As she went to open her mouth, a loud knocking was heard behind me. I turned to look and saw a dark, dirty door. This wasn't here before. It couldn't be. I'm in a freaking hallway. I turned away from the door and looked towards Paige, but she was gone.
Looking from side to side, she was nowhere to be seen. The only thing left that showed she was here was her favorite jean jacket she always wore. I picked it up. It felt cold as if it was ice. The knocking was heard again. With her coat in my hand, I went to reach for the door with the other.
"Wait. What the hell am I doing? I'm just going to open a random door. Seriously?" As I said that, I heard deep laughter, the door flew open and I was pulled through.
For a second I couldn't see anything. It was dark. I just felt this hand on my shirt pulling me. Once it let go I was outside. "Who the fuc—"
When I turned back the door was gone. I just saw grass and trees. Why am I here? I looked down at my hand and noticed that Paige's jacket turned into a bottle of water. But my clothes never changed.
I took a few deep breaths. My heart settled a little and my attention turned to the cold bottle. What's going on...? What, it's like late afternoon now? It looked like the sun was going to set soon. The sky was turning a reddish-orange, and the faint winds shook the leaves that looked like they were dying on the branches. I got up and scratched at my scalp a little while looking off.
I wasted time contemplating whether I should go looking for an exit to whatever the fuck this was. Although, the cards were pretty out of my favor with that; chances are I'd get pinned under a rotting tree or something. The last thing I need is to be covered in bugs while laid out in the mud. It'd be best if I stayed put for a while, but the more the sun lowered was the harsher the cold got. Never had I wished I'd listened to Dani about wearing a jacket more.
Despite being there for a while, no matter how long I stayed, I couldn't properly calm down. Something really didn't feel right. My shoulders refused to relax. I nearly lept from my skin when something touched my arm. Whipping around, my eyes widened and I almost broke down. My mouth was so chapped, but there was no way I was about to drink from this random bottle; who knows what could be in it... When I went to speak my voice came out as more of a croak. "Guys...?"
"Oh my gosh, look at you." Summer had a confused look on her face as she searched me up and down.
"Did you get into a fight for something?" Elle asked as she drank her water.
Dani was looking for something on his phone. "If she was, she would've sent a message, and there'd be a video online." Everyone laughed, then Paige handed me a chapstick and using my finger I applied it.
"Are you ready to go?" Elle asked as she started walking. We followed her but soon I came to lead.
"Like she would want to go like this. We're going to the store first." Summer said as she walked next to me.
"Maybe she wants to make a statement," Paige said in a low voice.
As they all talked I was trying to figure out where we were going without asking them. This seems familiar but at the same time not. As we continued to walk in this field I looked to my right and saw Dani and Paige. To my left was Summer. I stopped and turned around looking behind me. No one was there.
"Where's Elle?" Everyone stopped walking and looked at me.
"Elle? Who's Elle?" Dani asked.
"Our friend. Your girlfriend." When I said that, a quick image of Dani at the party came to mind. He wasn't with Elle. He was with his teammate.
"I don't have a girlfriend." He said.
"Yes you do. Well you did." Did they break up?
"Let's just keep going." Summer said as we started walking again. "Stop making up stuff V. it isn't funny" She added as she looked at me.
"What stuff am I making up? She's real." Well not now but I know who my friends are. When I looked back to my left Dani was now missing. "Are you serious? Where's Dani?"
"Dani.. that's a cute name. Is it a boy's name or a girls?" Summer asked.
Rolling my eyes, "A boys. Dani. Dani Mathews. He was just here."
"It was only the three of us V. Are you okay?" Paige asked as she placed a hand on my back.
"Maybe we should just take her home." Summer said.
"I'm fine. Just tell me where they went." I yelled. When I did, Paige's hand slid off my back. I quickly looked at her and she was still there. Good. I'm not going crazy.
"Okay." Summer yelled that caused us to stop walking. "Stop it. This isn't funny. It was never funny." She was now in my face.
"What are you talking about? I'm telling the truth." I tried to explain but she yelled again.
"No you're not. You're lying. I know you. And you know me. So you should know when I saw STOP I mean it."
"I'm not lying," I yelled back at her. "Paige, tell her I—"
I turned to my right and Paige was gone. Why is this happening? I looked back at Summer and saw her take a few steps back. Her head was titled to the side with a smile. She went to open her mouth but no words came out. She was mouthing something over and over. And what she said sent a shock down my spine. We're glad you're gone. Then she faded away.
"Wait! What do you m—" I ran to get a grasp of her before she was fully gone. It was like I'd stepped on a land mine when my hand passed through her. An overwhelmingly bright light blinded me, lacking any warmth. I shrieked and whipped back around to get away from the harsh rays. Turning away didn't help however, it only made things worse. When I did, my retinas were set ablaze again. I might as well have stared at the fucking sun. "Goddamnit!!"
I was surrounded. I couldn't see. That horrid smell of mildew was back. I didn't know where the fuck I was going, but even standing still it felt like I was moving towards something. In echoing bursts, I could hear wildlife all around me. From far away to right beside me the sounds were anywhere from crickets to a bear in my ear.
The sounds were getting closer and more and more intense. The smell was becoming unbearable. My legs felt like they would give any moment. My heart was pounding and on the verge of self-destruction. It wouldn't end. It won't end. Make it stop! Through the endless stream of tears, a dark blur came into view. What...? Squinting to get a better look and constantly wiped at my eyes, it was becoming clearer. Not by much, but I think... another door? A way out! Is it?
Please let it be a way out. Please. I can't take this anymore. Without moving my legs It seemed like I was moving towards the door. I didn't fight it. I just let it happen. But as I got closer the door turned into a man's silhouette. He was sitting on what looked like a hill. Wait.. I looked down and realized I was at the bottom of what I thought was a hill but actually a fucking cliff.
You've got to be joking. "Do I have to climb this?" When I said those words I heard a wolf howl behind me. I looked to see if it was there. I couldn't see it but its voice grew louder. "Goddamnit." I began to climb up the cliff. I didn't have a problem at first, but then it changed. It went from oh here grab this to touch me and you will fall to your death.
I struggled to keep my grip for a while as I climbed but eventually made it to the top. The man was there but I couldn't really see him. All I saw was him, but everything was dark. It was like someone made a cardboard cutout of him, painted black and stuck up here. But it wasn't cardboard. I know it was a person. As I walked around him I can see he was built somewhat like Sam. As I reached out to get the man's attention his eyes shot open revealing a chilling green color.
Before I had time to think about it, it grabbed my wrist and the next thing I knew, I was falling. The figure leaned over the edge with a Cheshire grin. It watched my descent and my eyes widened slightly as it morphed. This. Was this going to be my breaking point. I think so. I wasn't just falling back to the earth; I was descending into insanity and that thing was enjoying every moment of it.
I watched as a set of wings sprouted from its back. An angel? No, definitely not. As my body went into a spin, the last thing I saw of it wasn't just the shadowy feathers that matched its body. It was also the horns that'd emerged from its forehead and grew to the point where they were nearly touching. His grin grew to a horrifying degree as I was almost completely flipped.
When my body turned I came face to face with another bright light. I shielded my face with my arms and peeked once it seemed the light was gone. Eh? My eyes almost popped out of my head as the white light turned red. Lava spouted from the unsettled, broken grounds like a geyser. Coming right at me was a pillar of fire.
"Ahhh!" My lungs nearly gave out with how much I was screaming. The ground felt like it was taunting me with how close it looked but it felt like I would never actually hit. Right as I thought that, I fell flat on my front onto a gravelly surface. I think... I just propelled onto a bed of sewing needles and thumbtacks at the speed of a fucking freight train. I didn't even want to sit up. I don't think I could've if I did.
Can I just stay here? I asked myself as the laziness began to kick in. I've been through so much in this short amount of time. Can't I just wake up already? When I lifted my head from the ground I saw things I thought I would never see. The sky... it was dark red and the clouds were black.
I slowly began to get to my feet despite the pain going through my entire body. As I did I saw a man walking around with half of his face hanging off. And it wasn't sagging. "It was like his skin was bone on one side while on the other it was sliding down a little and he pushed it up to connect it again"
Another person.... NO HEAD. NO HEAD. And it's walking around. How? I looked around the person as it walked and saw its head. It was a man. He was holding his head by the hair in his left hand. Blood was dripping out of it as if it just happened. As I looked at all these weird, freaky things happening something hit my leg. I looked down and screamed. It was a man crawling on the floor. He had no legs and used his arms to move around. As he looked up at me he tried to speak. But his tongue looked to be cut off. The only thing I heard was mumbling. As the floor man dragged himself away, I saw a trail behind him of blood where his legs should be.
I shuddered and took a step back as it passed me. This couldn't be real. I could pretend I didn't see anything and chalk it up to a nightmare. Trying to do that was much easier said than done when you're still in it. I ran. I didn't know what else to do but run. This place was horrid. Screams echoed in the distance, some of which being the piercing screeches of the winged creatures flying overhead. Nothing good would've come of staying still; just like with where I was before.
As I sprinted in search of an exit my vision swirled with every shrill. I had to slow down in order to regain my bearings. What the fuck was this place?! While I had something of an idea of what it was, there's no way I was right. I mean, I don't deserve that kind of thing. I don't deserve to be there. I had to stop for a moment to catch my breath. The people around me didn't even look like people.
My blood felt like it was boiling whenever I stayed in one place. I started moving again and the faster I went, the more I cooled down and the less suffocated I felt. My vision blurred again. My head spun. I was gonna puke. The moment I thought about stopping again and catching myself a little before going again, an angel stood among monsters. A man stood not far ahead with his back to me. A normal man. I'm saved...?
I quickly made my way over to him stretching out my right arm and touched his shoulder.
"Excuse me. Can y-," before I could finish my sentence the man turned around. His eyes were like daggers coming straight for me. The smile reminded me of a snake. A snake that was about to attack.
"Sure, I'll help you," he said in a deep, creepy voice. He leaned in closer to me and I stepped back some.
"Ummm, never mind," once I said those words his body disappeared only leaving his head with that creepy smile. Once his head hit the ground a snake like body came sprouting out of his head like it was his new body. I need to leave. As I thought this I ran away from the snake man.
After a few moments of running around looking for help I saw three people. A man with a giant hole in his back, another man with a noose around his neck and..... what looked like a woman with a knife through her chest. My heart was racing hoping they could help me wake up from this fucked up nightmare. "Please. Can any one of you help me? I don't belong here." The woman looked at me and smiled.
"I don't belong here either. Take me with you," she said in a childish way, giggling while playing with her dirty blue dress.
"Like you have a chance." The man with the hole in his back said to the woman. His voice had a harsh rasp to it. Neither he nor the other man looked my way. Instead, he and the woman started arguing as if I wasn't standing right there. I whimpered a bit, looking back every once in a while to make sure the snake man was nowhere in sight.
"There has to be a way out of here!" I said over their bickering and the three went silent; well the two went silent. The man with the noose never opened his mouth. They all shared a look for a minute before turning to stare me down in unison. I felt five again with these things towering over me as if I'd just destroyed a precious heirloom or something. The guy with the noose averted his eyes to the side as though he was thinking before he turned back to me.
"You can talk to the boss." He spoke and all eyes turned to him. I was shocked to hear he sounded like a real person. The only thing about him was really that he'd sounded like he had a really bad cold and was straining himself to say anything, but he really didn't look like it took any effort.
"Oh yeah," The woman agreed. "Talk to him."
"Who's 'him'?"
The man with the hole in his chest chimed in. "He's a great guy, you'll love him. We do."
The three of them nodded in sync and my eyes darted to each of their faces. The woman grabbed my hand. I winced at her touch and receded into myself like a turtle hiding in its shell. It was as though I dunked my wrist in liquid nitrogen, but when she touched me, my arm felt wet. Looking down I saw something that I could assume to be blood.
"We will take you to him." The woman said while pulling me. Not even giving me a chance to reply.
We all began to walk to wherever the boss was. The woman still had her hands on me. The men looked like they wanted to get this over with. After what felt like 30 minutes of walking we approached a giant gate. It looked to be made of bones. As we got closer I saw someone familiar, well two things that were familiar.
The man that pushed me off the cliff into this place and the snake man from earlier. But this time the man that pushed me had a smirk on his face. Why? The snake man was under his foot. Literally. The snake man didn't seem to be smiling, it looked pissed off. The other man saw us and looked me up and down. With a great force he stumped the snake man's head into the ground.
He didn't take his eyes off me. Why do I get the feeling I'm in trouble now? The man then placed his hand on the gates, watching me with an apathetic expression. My eyes widened as the doors parted inwards.
No fucking way.
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