I sit, staring at the letter.

Lucas was never a wordsmith. In fact, I believe he thrived on not being very formal. Sometimes I could have sworn he lived just to make my life a living Hell. I always had this sort of love-hate thing with him.

It's how we started.

I always thought I'd be there when he died. I always thought I'd be there to comfort him. I can't really wrap my head around the fact that he's gone.

Finn is gone. Troy is gone. Willa is gone.

But there's Lucas.

I've become so desensitized to so many of life's bad things. But I feel all of their deaths. I feel every single emotion that goes along with it. I wonder if David does. I wonder if he regrets it. With his dark disposition, he doesn't seem to take the responsibility.

He doesn't seem as though he feels much of anything.

It terrifies me.

He's been helping me through it all. As much as he can. As much as I let him. I'm getting larger by the second and he's determined to show me that he can be the man I married. I let him. Truth is that I want it to be true. But in my heart, I know it's not true.

I'm not the man he married.

It's with all this knowledge that I sit on my bed staring at the letter Lucas left me. I've wanted to read it since David gave it to me. Parts of me, anyways. As long as I don't read the letter, it's not real. Lucas is somewhere annoying a different group of people.

The letter means it is.

I look up when there's a knock at the door. David is staring at me and I flash a weak smile before looking back to the letter. He walks over and stands beside me.

"Don't."

"What?" He asks.

"Ask why."

"I know why."

I look at him again, "Enlighten me." I say with a frown.

"Because, in your mind, if you read it, it'll be real. If you don't read it, it means—"

"Okay, stop." I say as my eyes land on the letter, "That's unnerving."

"It's you."

I don't say anything further and I hear him sigh and shift on his foot. I take a deep breath before taking the letter and stashing it in my nightstand. David sits beside me, looking forward.

"I miss you."

"I miss you, too."

"Come home." He says looking to me. I shake my head and he groans, "Why not?"

"You're making leaps, you are. But I need time." I say softly, "You're not the only reason I can't go home."

"Enlighten me."

"Against all logic, I went into Hell and left the people I care about in danger." I say causing his mouth to open, but I quickly put up a hand, "It's not the entire reason. I wanted to win. I wanted to win for once."

"Win?"

"He literally goaded me, held your soul over my head like a bully." I say angrily, "He took the thing I love the most and used it against me."

"So, he's evil."

"So he knows where to hit me." I say staring forward, "I love you more than anything and I can't help you. I can't undo everything."

"No one is asking you to." David says calling my attention, "You came to bring me out. They're adults. It's what they always wanted, you to trust them."

"I know."

"Are we going to do this again? You're not responsible for every bad thing." David hisses, "You saved me. You literally walked into Hell to save me. You'd do it with anyone. And you impregnated yourself to save me."

"Dave—"

"You don't want to come home? Fine. I'll give you your space. But you have to stop doing this." David's voice is stern, "Finn wasn't your fault. Troy wasn't your fault. Willa was not your fault. And Lucas definitely wasn't your fault."

I swallow words. I swallow some kind of annoying phrase and somehow he knows. He stares straight ahead. I can feel it and I do the same.

"I feel it, you know. I know that their deaths are on me." David says with chuckle, "I know that it was my hands that did all that unforgivable stuff. I know it was my mouth that said all the horrible things. It was my decision that led to all of it."

I am silent.

"That's the reason, the biggest reason you couldn't save me, isn't it? You think I don't feel or notice that I did these horrible things. I wasn't there but my mind was. The images are still there. The people I killed." David says softly, "There were so many."

"Others?" I ask.

"Anyone in my way." David sniffles. I notice he's not staring at the wall, but the floor. He goes to stand and I grab his hand, "What?"

I pull him into me. Our lips aren't the only things that collide but it doesn't deter us. I can't believe I'm kissing him. I resolved not to do this, to wait until our problems are worked out. And maybe we have. Maybe him admitting what he did showed me that he's not the guy he used to be, but he is better.

I jump at the feeling of something kicking my insides. As I pull away, he stares down at my stomach. I take his hand and place it on my stomach. Another kick and he jumps.

"Do they do that often?" David asks.

"Yes! To my annoyance, yes! I see why women get really pissy." I laugh, "I can honestly say this is a one-time thing and Porter is ordered to be nowhere near anything I eat or drink."

"How are things with him?" He asks staring at my stomach.

I put my finger below his chin and lift it to my gaze, "Not good."

"Do you want me to talk to him?"

I think about it. Porter and David have always been on good terms, even more after Porter effectively got me pregnant. That is such a weird sentence. I decide that it's worth a try. Porter isn't thrilled with me and I'm not too thrilled with him either.

"If I say no, will you not do it?"

David stares at me with confusion, "If I'm correct in my understanding of the sentence, then no, it will not stop me. He's important to you." He frowns, "If you won't come home, then I'll just have to show you why you should. Other than I'm there."

"How is our houseguest?"

"Worse than you, I think. She's not good. She's the only sibling left." David explains, "She's not as bad as we thought."

"Maybe but watch yourself."

David smirks, "You think she'll seduce me?" He asks.

"Hypnotize."

David stops smirking, "Dammit."

                                                                                                                                         -           

"So, it's working. He believes it. He believes all of it." I say as I pace in front of the group.

The group being Penny, Charlotte, Eva, Parker, Jason, Porter, Nora and Frederick.

"We need to be smart about this. I still don't know what kind of hold the Nowhere Man has over him."

"Are we thinking the Nowhere Man is Helios?" Eva asks.

"Yes," I nod, "And since he's walking the world of the living, our plan is working."

Parker and Nora shift noticeably.

"I'm sorry we couldn't save more people. I'm sorry that we even have to do this, be duplicitous, but he had to believe that you guys turned on us. He had to believe we were alone and that my only option was to leave him. For a minute I thought you were. I thought he was...I thought he was gone."

"Elaborate." Porter says testily, "Helios is on this Earth. What's next?"

"Breaking Helios' hold on David,, if there is any, and then we end him permanently." I say decisively, "He's not the executor of Hell anymore. He's not the big bad devil, he's just another supremely powerful being whose ass we're going to kick."

"So, exactly how?" Parker asks, "We've lost too much already."

"Well, I don't rightly know but we'll figure out a way." I say. I pause as I feel a tug at my stomach. I look up to see they're staring at me, "Maybe this should factor into the plan a little."

"We're working on a spell to have them draw power from ambient magic." Penny explains, "It needs a bit of tweaking."

"Are you okay?" Charlotte says looking between Eva, Nora and I. She frowns, "Lucas and Finn were..."

"That...that reminds me." I stammer, "Lucas wrote me a letter. And I think we all need to hear it."

"Perry—" Eva says softly.

"I'd—I'd like to hear it." Nora nods.

"Okay." I nod as I pull the letter out, "Here goes..."

Lucas:

You know that awkward feeling you get when you feel the end coming? I didn't think I'd ever see it coming. I went so long telling myself that I never wanted it. After seeing you die and come back, I realize that the chaos of this world cannot compare to what's beyond it.

I met you with the expressed intention of destroying you before you could become a threat. There's very little that I've loved in my life, very little that I've allowed myself to love. I hate emotional displays and all other forms of annoying declarations. 

But you made me a better man. 

A man.

You allowed me to love, not only you but others and there's nothing I can do, or could ever do to repay you. Correction, I can do this one last thing for you. This decision is mine and I won't ask you for permission. You wouldn't give it anyways.

I've been fighting witches, werewolves and other vampires in my absence and I've eradicated every single person in my way. If I can help you with this one last thing, I'll do it. My sacrifice will guide you to see who you need to eradicate. I love that word.

You can kick his ass. You've been building towards this.

You were born for this.

If I'm gone, that means there's just one member of my family left. She's a raging bitch but keep my sister safe. And your friends, if you must. And make sure when you tell your kids about me, you make sure you tell them how hot I am without a shirt. That'll go well with your ignoramus of a husband.

I just want you to do one thing for me. Live your life. Not because you should be thankful you're there, not because you escaped death but because it's something you'd do. It's something that you deserve.

I love you.